Hello new person!  Last year, tWBS drew the short straw and did the introductory post to any of you that are just now discovering our little corner of the world. BTW, DFO is ranked in the 400,000s in terms of websites around the world, so that’s… something!

We do know we get a lot of visitors coming to us from porn sites, so welcome to all of you, our fellow perverts!  We wish you well and hope you have enough lube in the house/apartment/doghouse.

[Door Flies Open] is, at its core, a sports joke blog with historical emphasis toward the NFL during the season, so we see many new users find us during this time of the year.  We always love having new folks join in on the madness.

I’m going to try to cover a few little basics, but if there’s anything I miss, always feel free to ask in the comments. No question is too difficult or embarrasing.  For example, one intrepid commentist asked us last year how to get his girlfriend to do anal.

That answer is pretty easy and not at all embarrasing.  Please challenge us!

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Some Guidelines For Posting

Our little community here are all good people, and have very good senses of humor.  We are also by no means PC around here and sarcasm is not only accepted, but encouraged.

We all root for different teams (and different sports), and we regularly give each other loads of shit about it.  We like laughing at other people’s expense, even our own.  So have at it.

We never want to stifle anyone’s voice by deleting or editing comments.  We want you to say what you want to say, when you want to say it, and how you want to say it.  As long as it doesn’t become a situation where specific other commenters are being targeted/harassed personally, or it becomes problematic regarding language.  And don’t get me wrong, profanity is allowed (often encouraged).

But slurs thrown in malice/anger, especially directed at other users are not.  That’s a big no no.

And sometimes sarcasm doesn’t come thru in typed text.  So please keep that in mind.  A vast majority of the time, that will be the case.

We don’t have a lot of rules around here, and we’d like to keep it that way.  Mutual respect among members of the community goes a long way toward that end. Have a sense of humour about yourself and don’t take anything too seriously and you’ll be fine.

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Posting Music Videos

Posting Youtube or Vimeo videos is simple.  Don’t mess with embed codes as they won’t work.  Just copy the raw https address up there in your browser’s box as I’ve highlighted here…

…then paste it into your comment box, then hit the “Post Comment” button to post your song.  The embedded video won’t show up until you refresh the page.  But when you refresh, you’ll get this…

Keep in mind that the shortened URLs won’t necessarily work.  You may need the full address for it to show up.

One more thing about posting videos: If you have commentary you’d like to add to the video, it will probably need to go before the address, or the video won’t embed.  I don’t get it either, but that’s what happens sometimes.

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Posting Images

Images are a little more complicated.  The address to the image file must begin with https…the “s” is very important.  Without the “s” (if it’s http with no “s”), the image won’t embed into your comment.  However, the address will be visible as a hyperlink and can still be clicked and followed.

The images addresses also must end with .jpg, .png, or .gif.  The extension also must be all lower case (ie .JPG probably won’t work) for the image to embed in your comment.

If you cannot find the image you are looking for with the proper string, you would be encouraged to copy the link or save the image and upload it to PostImages.org for quick and easy use.  This works particularly well if you want to post a photo you took but it’s not on the Internet.

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Rules:  Even the Mafia has rules

We post a lot of suggestive photos around here, but we do have some rules about image posting.  We don’t like rules around here, but there has to be a line drawn somewhere.  As it’s been pointed out to me numerous times, we are not a porn site. (YET!)

Posting Rules

No Exposed genitalia.

Female nipples must be mostly obscured by clothing.

Now, that does not mean that you cannot share a nice NSFW image with your friends.  In that case, you can do as follows:

The initial link….

https://www.youreatotalperv.kom/youre_all_going_to_hell.jpg

Can be changed to…

h

ttps://www.youreatotalperv.kom/youre_all_going_to_hell.jpg

by splitting the “h” off with a simple hit of the enter key before posting.  The picture won’t embed and anyone interested can follow it if they’d care to.  Do please mark it as “NSFW” so people don’t click on it in front of their significant others that might get jealous/offended.

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So What Else?

Be cool.  Be funny.  Don’t be afraid to contribute.  The site was built by people who commented on other sites, so we all were in your position at some point.  We were all wondering if we were funny enough to be at the same place as the people whose comments we read and who we thought were hilarious.

Let me clear up one thing for you:  We are all living in Son Of Spam’s world, so if you think you have to be as funny as him, please don’t worry about it.

We won’t bite your heads off if your first comment doesn’t hit the mark.  Don’t feel pressure.  Just think of us as a group of guys (and to tell the truth, it is mostly guys around here.  There are some females that post occasionally, but not that often.) that are sitting around our living rooms/dorm rooms/fraternity houses drinking beers and cracking jokes.

Now, if you feel extra adventurous and want to WRITE for this site, we encourage that too!  As I mentioned before, we all started out by commenting on sites and then decided to take our shot at writing. If you want to do that too, PLEASE let us know and we’ll be happy to have you join us in creating precious precious content for us to read on the toilet at work.

You do not need to write about the NFL if you don’t want to.  This site has expanded beyond just being an NFL dick joke blog and we now do anything from travel posts (Boots on the Ground), recipes (Sunday Gravy), beer reviews (Beer Barrel), to posts about other sports (CFL Beat, BattleBots Beat, AFL Beat, soccer open threads).

Anything you want to write about is welcome as long as it’s related to having a good time and enjoying the many things available in this world that can make us happy.

Which, ultimately, is what this blog is about.  We want to have fun, make ourselves laugh, and remind ourselves that, no matter what things happen to you in life, there are also good things in this world and they should be celebrated.

We look forward to hearing from you!