Ehh, I’ve talked about him enough. Besides, there are other things to vibrate the vocal cords about. Like, why the heckfire are you gonna watch this oh-so-entertaining shit show? Let’s talk about your childhood-did you fall out of a tree as a youngster? Did you hear your parents make grunting noises through that paper-thin wall your bed was resting against? He wasn’t trying to hurt her, you know. (most likely) Did you take an overnight trip with your best buddies to go see a dead body? Did Mr. Cuddles talk back to you? Did your older sister play “Cheeseburger in Paradise” on repeat while she did your nails? Were you told that “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure” was a documentary? Did Uncle Touchy earn his nickname during the celebration after Joe Montana hit Dwight Clark in the end zone? Did you get an erection when you heard about the Space Shuttle Challenger explosion?
If you answered, “I’m not sure” to any of these questions…whoo boy! I don’t think you deserve to have Tevin Coleman on your fantasy roster. He deserves much, much better. Shall we wander over to the tilt at hand on this Thursday “Ya got anything better to do? I didn’t think so” night snoreperience. TO THE GAME!
Them Jets/Them Browns:
Binary code for these two squadoo’s combined record at this point (11011) can be translated loosely as “at least we’re not the Giants, haha” And yet, they still are who they are. Let’s let them off the hook for a wee bit and see how things go.
Amen.
I think the refs are just talking about how much both teams suck balls.
As this officiating team looks confused.
Is there 2 professional teams here?
Trumaine Johnson is really trying to speed up the “I got paid, now cut me because I’m garbage!” path Muhammad Wilkerson nearly perfected. At least Wilkerson played well for the Jets before the big contract.
He’s gonna go full-Vontae.
That’s one helluva buttplug.
I love self-owns.
(JR voice)
My God, that’s Baker Mayfield’s music!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qILOCvvF-cA
At my freshmen orientation they had a little thing where they taught everyone the lyrics and everyone who hadn’t heard it before (including me) thought it was a joke.
Booooooomer Soooooooooooooneeeeeerrrr, OH-KAY-YOU
All freshmen knew the lyrics to OSU’s fight song. The problem is that it ends with three different lyrics. Its like:
Hail, Hail, the gang’s all hears.
(entire crowd sings in tongues)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUsYgRa2mHk
If Baker Mayfield comes in, does he immediately throw a pick six ala Darnold?
If he were playing literally any other team, sure.
just one?
Given the way the Browns’ O-line is playing, I doubt he’ll have time.
THIS GAME, I CALL IT EXTREME TURBULENCE BECAUSE THE JETS KEEP RUNNING INTO SOME AWFUL SHIT
Oh ok, it’s setting up a Browns comeback with 5 Baker Mayfield TD passes. I get it now.
Wasn’t Baker Mayfield a singer back in the early ’70s?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVANQheoRUw
I would like all of those dimwits in teh Crown Royal commercial to take a differnt kind of water break: water boarding. Jesus that fucking ad sucks dick.
This gonna sound completely fucking insane:
Jets are better than most people want to admit because they’re the fucking jets
You are correct. You do sound batshit crazy.
I never said they were good…… just people seem to think they’ve gone 1-32-1 in their last 34 games
These roofer we got after the hail storm have some odd methods.
This is going far too well. The Earth migh actually be about to stop on its axis and throw us all hurtling into space.
That won’t throw us into space. It will kill 99% of us and the 1% will pray for death but the planet will still be orbiting the Sun.
We’ll need something to go through the solar system at the right angle with a stronger pull than the Sun to throw us out of orbit.
On nevermind, you mean sudden stop. Yeah, that might do it.
It was one asswipe too many.
Not a single person in any FF league that I am involved in has Crowell playing.
I dont know if anyone is starting him anywhere
What about the married guys?
Ashley Madison has a fantasy football league?
For an extra hundred bucks, you can set someone else’s lineup.
The Jets running game:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wi-lW2poE4
https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/KhHP3RU95pIMp17b4OlQrS-Jc7f2DvuV-efU1sbvQQI6oUkGN8wd7rn7vWflS2KEMP7jlOPtH2DjJ4uNdxtznfNnb00aM-hit2njjJ-10FrwcBESIidHKvxviXz6oYRxT1pRJomt
Do we see Mayfield tonight?
I hope he plays the theme from Shaft.
I thought that Cleveland’s D was supposed to be good?
Delonte West gave LeBron’s mom the Cleveland D.
Silesian peasant woman consoling child while her husband is forcibly conscripted by the local Baron, 1622
Browns fan; same thing.
That’s outstanding.
I just love how the Dawg Pound is booing. Is like “We’re losing? Yeah, okay.” “0-16? Perfect.” “Outplay the Steelers to a draw? Yup, that sound right.”
But it “We’re losing to the Jets? Oh, hell no!”
everyone has a limit
Oh, great. Now I got the “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic” theme in my head but with the parody lyrics that starts with “My Little Vibe. My Little Vibe. oh-Oh-AH!”
I can’t say it because the fourth line has a phrase that is definitely rated TV-MA.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCkKG-069RE
HEATH HEMBREE!
…Heath Hembree?
Heath Hembree…just gave up 4 GODDAMMIT
Insurmountable lead now right?
Or Stanton could hit a Grand Slam. That’s cool, I guess, if you’re into that sort of thing.
It’s the Yankees. Nobody is into that sort of thing.
au contraire, I am very much into that. I need something to get me over the A’s beating them 2-1 in the wild card game.
Yeah, as I watch the Mets constantly trip over their own dicks doing everything they can to cost deGrom a Cy Young, I can really feel some sympathy for the Yankee fans who aren’t all that happy with the monster-person NL MVP they got for fuckin nothing lol. Times must be tough.
I haven’t seen a World Series win since 2009, I’m dying over here.
Only Luke Voit things are cool.
https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–PdYa2wTD–/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/tqetqwets90p6cqrbnm0.mp4
Yes, Tyrod. Its the receiver’s fault that the pass was underthrown.
“Could I have underthrown that pass? No…….it’s the receivers and the curvature of the Earth that are wrong.”
So…ballgame….
Not yet. This ain’t baseball. The defense can still score points too, and this is the Jets.
Counterpoint…Browns.
Oh. I was hoping you were talking about Kavanaugh.
Not yet. The GOP will force this one through. Short a witness or proof, they’ll force it in.
LOL someone in my $$ eliminator pool took the Browns. Awesome.
Spam, LOLing this early by banking on the Jets to not be the Jets? Why would you dare tempt fate like that?
Oh, it might work out for him, but the decision is kinda stupefying.
I think every single person in mine took the Vikes.
Yankees down 2, bases loaded and Stanton strolling to the plate. This is why the Yankees traded for him and took on his enormous salary, so that I could throw my glass right through the fucking TV when he strikes out.
I’m noticing they keep showing the punter, but they’re not showing the blocker that let the free runner to the punter’s kicking foot.
If my roommate locks the fridge over $10, I’d respond by renting his bedroom to a porn studio when he’s out of town.
Even better, when he’s in town.
An all-male porn studio?
Tijuana.
“I’m just an simple unfrozen caveman quarterback. Your Cover 2s and your delayed blitzes confuse and frighten me!”
Didn’t realize this guy was playing…
?w=1000&h=600&crop=1
THAT is some good shit right there; banner worthy IMO.
I think calling this a “defensive battle” is a bit of a misnomer.
They were going to go with “cripple fight”, but those assholes in Legal killed it.
Jeremy “Brian Schottenheimer” Bates with these fucking playcalls.
The scoreboard operator’s gonna be pissed. He thought he was going to get a working day off.
Oh, I see the Browns have arrived.
Look, if you have to go to the bathroom just go. No need to announce it.
Well, its time to pour the apple cider.
“Ever since Rikki got married, he couldn’t take a shit without warden’s say-so.”
The Jets….did…..good?
Just wait. They’ll Jets it up.
Browns are still the Brownsiest.
Son: “These prior notes are awesome. I’m gonna write them all down and get a 100”
Me: “That’s how I got an ‘A’ in Geology. And why I don’t know anything about geology.”
Son: “This isn’t Geology, it’s Archaeology.”
Me: “Same thing. They both end in ‘ology’ and involve digging around in the dirt.”
I would love a 0-0 tie.
Missed the game until now, watched the last 2 episodes of Sunny. Holy shit.
Using the full ensemble cast. I like it. Artemis and The Waitress are comedic treasure.
If Darnold got hurt on that sack next year the quarterbacks are going to have a flags on.
I was gonna wait till a team scores to post this, but well, you know….
If you had, here’s what the photo would have looked like by then.
Stupid looking polyester vest. 2/10.
That’s not kosher.
Darnold getting hurt would be very Jetsy.
He hasn’t played well enough for it to be Jetsy. He needs to look like Joe Montana and then get hit by a bus or something.
This game is what happenes when a stoppable force meets a moveable object.
“The Browns – We’re Pliable!”
Are you calling the Jets offense a movable object?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lQ955b8SSc
Yes but on a technicality.
Nice note of contempt in Joe’s voice with the “settle in” crack.
Not sure he could say anything, including wedding vows, without a note of contempt.
“I’m really sorry to hear about your mother’s passing…”
TSN’s feed is advertising Johnny Football is BACK for the Alouettes this week.
Bomber D is still good, O is nawt.
Well that is technically true. Its not like they are saying you have to be excited about it…
Tyrod Taylor a scintillating 1/7 for 2 yards.
Even in baseball, that average would get your ass sent down to the minors.