Ehh, I’ve talked about him enough. Besides, there are other things to vibrate the vocal cords about. Like, why the heckfire are you gonna watch this oh-so-entertaining shit show? Let’s talk about your childhood-did you fall out of a tree as a youngster? Did you hear your parents make grunting noises through that paper-thin wall your bed was resting against? He wasn’t trying to hurt her, you know. (most likely) Did you take an overnight trip with your best buddies to go see a dead body? Did Mr. Cuddles talk back to you? Did your older sister play “Cheeseburger in Paradise” on repeat while she did your nails? Were you told that “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure” was a documentary? Did Uncle Touchy earn his nickname during the celebration after Joe Montana hit Dwight Clark in the end zone? Did you get an erection when you heard about the Space Shuttle Challenger explosion?
If you answered, “I’m not sure” to any of these questions…whoo boy! I don’t think you deserve to have Tevin Coleman on your fantasy roster. He deserves much, much better. Shall we wander over to the tilt at hand on this Thursday “Ya got anything better to do? I didn’t think so” night snoreperience. TO THE GAME!
Them Jets/Them Browns:
Binary code for these two squadoo’s combined record at this point (11011) can be translated loosely as “at least we’re not the Giants, haha” And yet, they still are who they are. Let’s let them off the hook for a wee bit and see how things go.
Amen.
So when do we officially get tired of seeing that play?
I’m gonna guess it’s when new england runs it on a Sunday night game, Collinsworth praises Tom brady for just standing there catching the pass.
In that moment collinsworth abandons all pretext of being impartial, leaves the booth, and spends the rest of the game trying to chase brady down so he can suck his dick.
….
Where was i going with this?
If he had dropped it, would it have been a cleveland steamer?
That was quite the razzle dazzle play
That was excellent footballing
That was absolutely fantastic. Total college offense.
desperate times, yada yada
Brownie Special!
Should have gone for the single, Hue
Touchdown Browns!
There’s something you don’t hear every season.
Great try there Browns.
That’s an accurate throw
Now that was a fucking great catch
Holy damn.
Never takes notes? Maybe Darnauld is dyslexic?
Aikman had a 4.0 GPA? His nerd really wanted to be liked
High school QB in Oklahoma? That’s an automatic A whether you go to class or not.
Wasn’t this the entire plot of a king of the hill episode?
It would only make sense for the Jets to go on to lose this game 15-14 on 5 field goals that barely go in, capped off by a 64 yarder as time expires.
No Browns kicker is capable of doing that. They can barely kick an extra point
How do you know this? They rarely have to try to do that.
Have you seen the past few weeks?
That’s what you get for not going to Njoku
pretty awful mechanics on that 3rd down toss
Needed that
Alright, Browns might be in field goal range for Zayn
No team is ever out of field goal range when they play the Jets.
SUDDEN CHANGE!!!
This is a real clinic the Jets are putting on.
Hawt Taek: Josh McCown has fabulous hair.
Oh you bastard. Now I have to go masturbate.
Meh, I was probably gonna anyway.
Just heard on the radio that a fan caught a live possum in the stands.
Oh shit the Finger bang South Park episode is on
Safety! The Gods demand a safety!
I have set the rooms AC to its lowest degrees I left the bathroom sink dripping. I want snow
More like Bayer Mayfield amirite?
YES!!!! Feed Njoku.
MOAR NJOKU!
If Baker Mayfield gets hurt by the end of this game, will that be enough for Hue to get canned? Because winning means nothing to this franchise.
Maybe if he were a different hue, he’d be safe
I can’t get the game in my room. At least it’s not a real game
It’s nice that you’re positive, but technically it’s a cell.
So Gavin Newsom is using “California Stars” by Wilco in the background of a campaign ad.
As a middle-aged white guy, I love this song and will vote for him.
#ThePauls’ special teams coach may want to start packing up
Thats at least 2 ligaments torn
but think of teh scripts yo!
That was very good quartered backing.
Okay. Hi. Bye.
I still hate football and everything it touches except you all.
Ok, show the Commentists, on Moose’s next gif, where the bad football touched you.
Football touched me when I was 10. Fr. Football went away for a long time.
Goodnight, gents. Pray for those of us who are forced to start Carlos Hyde.
Watching Jeopardy:
Alex: “…he inspired this most famous literary miser.”
Old guy contestant who’s gonna lose: “Who is Silas Marner?”
Alex: “That’s a terrible fucking guess. What a dick.”
I have absolutley no clue what the joke is here
Ebenezer Scrooge is the famous miser. Silas Marner is just awful, guess-wise.
Also, I’ve been drinking.
So there’s really no joke, just a pissed off loser (me).
“And then this gigantic frozen chunk of shit was ejected from a 747 and it fell on top of Michael Irwin, and you could hear Fozz orgasming from miles away.”
I missed you, Fozz.
Crikey, motherfucker!
Halftime in Cleveland, or as I like to call it, “Buddy takes a shit that mortifies all involved”
But enough about the Ryan boys …
God damn, I missed you most of all.
C’mon, Bud Light. Just come right out and call us fags already.
To be fair, you currently have my cock in your mouth.
I hate it that King Hippo’s dick tastes like shit.
Baker Mayfield looks like one of Mr Hankey’s kids out there. He’s literally 2/3 the size of every other player.
(God damn you Jets you will NOT lose to Baker Fucking Mayfield)
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
tWBS’ halftime rant for the week…
(I know a lot of you are attorneys so please don’t take offense)
I have freaking had it with dealing with incompetent attorneys. In the past coupla months, no fewer than five of them have annoyed me greatly by failing to do their damn jobs I’ve paid them to do.
And one is still vowing to have me murdered.
Granted that one lives in Australia, is more or less insane and a Nazi, but still…
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR DAMNED PROFESSION PEOPLE??? DOES NOBODY DO THEIR JOBS????
JD is by far the easiest doctorate, let alone masters’ degree, that one can possibly obtain.
Why do you think so many Commentist Party members have one? Law school was maybe 20% as difficult as my undergraduate program (Environmental Engineering).
I’ve just learned that technically, an imaginary person owns my house, because the attorney in question put someone else’s name on the deed transfer. And granted, when I called the court about it they were understanding (and also giggled a little bit) but still….goddammit.
Imaginary person? So on of us owns your house?
Hey, you can have it. I now understand why people recommend to rent rather than buy these days.
You are like a yellow porch light.
But I want to friends with the DA not represent my client!
I’m of the mind that there are only two types of people who become attorneys.
1. Those genuinely interested in the intricacies of the law and how different precedents and interpretations shape the very society in which we live.
2. People who didn’t know what else to do with their lives and just fucking LOVE the idea of beginning sentences with “Well, actually….”
I’ve seen 4 ladies of the night. One offered Spur 150 for a great time. I just want to go home
Spur 150 is what David Robinson calls his spunk
Great time? She is going to go to work for you tomorrow? That is how Spur can have a great time.
“There’s life here in this stadium.” Yes, but that life is lived by people who have no lives.
I am pretty sure I would be going to sleep if nae for Mayfield
I just thought the same thing. I want to see this play out . That, and Gamblor.
Just imagine the reaction if they send Taylor back out there in the 2nd half.
Browns-Jets matchup was in the first draft of West Side Story.
Just heard sanctimonious PK say the P*ts are a PROUD franchise and should not do business with Josh Gordon.
He’s INFURIATED!!
One of their assistant coaches supposedly said they can win without Brady. I say the trade deadline hasn’t past yet. Prove it!