Ehh, I’ve talked about him enough. Besides, there are other things to vibrate the vocal cords about. Like, why the heckfire are you gonna watch this oh-so-entertaining shit show? Let’s talk about your childhood-did you fall out of a tree as a youngster? Did you hear your parents make grunting noises through that paper-thin wall your bed was resting against? He wasn’t trying to hurt her, you know. (most likely) Did you take an overnight trip with your best buddies to go see a dead body? Did Mr. Cuddles talk back to you? Did your older sister play “Cheeseburger in Paradise” on repeat while she did your nails? Were you told that “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure” was a documentary? Did Uncle Touchy earn his nickname during the celebration after Joe Montana hit Dwight Clark in the end zone? Did you get an erection when you heard about the Space Shuttle Challenger explosion?
If you answered, “I’m not sure” to any of these questions…whoo boy! I don’t think you deserve to have Tevin Coleman on your fantasy roster. He deserves much, much better. Shall we wander over to the tilt at hand on this Thursday “Ya got anything better to do? I didn’t think so” night snoreperience. TO THE GAME!
Them Jets/Them Browns:
Binary code for these two squadoo’s combined record at this point (11011) can be translated loosely as “at least we’re not the Giants, haha” And yet, they still are who they are. Let’s let them off the hook for a wee bit and see how things go.
Amen.
Give those of us who started #ThePauls D a Hail Mary turnover
Uncle Ed says, “I’m just glad to have a Browns-Jets matchup that doesn’t result in Puerto Ricans selling memorabilia commemorating it for 17 years”
One more day of hell of Reno
Ew. Who’s kid did you jack off in front of?
DFOers, what happened with the whole “boobs make me cry” thingy that was going on last week? Can’t remember the name of the DFOer, something to do with feudal Japan?
Oh, lemme explain.
(touches earpiece, listens intently)
I’ve just been told that I will not explain.
Shit, I forgot that the jist – gist -jyst- whatever the fuck, was that it was over. Sorry for bringing it up.
Oh Browns.
Folks
That was a weird-ass kick. Also the best Browns play this season.
it REVERSE hooked
Relax; she had a bad burrito for lunch.
Does that mean anal’s out of the question?
Depends….. are you German?
Part of me.
/points at crotch area
//pulls Wienerschnitzel corn dog out of pants
Wait; all the mustard is gone.
he gon’ miss
And then that kick off. Browns gonna Brown.
The middle Fozz Spawn is playing fullback this year, he is built like a brick shithouse. It is hilarious watching him run.
That’s the dumbest rule. It should be “If the offensive player bats the ball forward in an obvious attempt to forward the ball with no attempt to recover.”
“The results are back, and you have what’s called ‘Super Crabs.'”
That rule needs an exception for fat guy rumbles.
FAT GUY RUNNING!
Fucking booooo
OK, that was funny. Good hustle
daggum Sassy Ref, ruined his career highlight
You can take away mah yardage, but you can’t take away mah MEMORIES!
(Until the CTE kicks in anyway)
LOOKIT THE BIG LAD
God damn it. Couldn’t you have waited ten damn weeks!
FAT GUY rumbles for 9!
That was fucking awesome
I put $50 on #ThePauls ML (+325). BELIEVELAND
Baker drops back, slips, tears every ligament in his body
Instead of asking for the rookie QB they should be asking for a new offensive line.
(Vader voice)
OH, ITS TIME! ITS TIME! ITS BAKER TIME!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9D2LQioyTOM
If this isn’t a Mayfield TD drive, I’ll be absolutely stunned.
You won the game Baker, you can have your choice of any woman in Cleveland . . .or you could set your dick on fire. Either way.
That’s gonna be a tough evaluation when they ask him to say his name.
oh, and he comin!!
LOL oh yeah I get that look.
She’s almost there too!
Baker is on the phone yelling “Trade me right fucking now”
“Bring me my blue fucking medical tent!”
Damn, i thought htat sticker on Manning’s jersey was something he got for coloring inside the lines
It means he had lunch without hurting Olivia’s nipple.
Are millienials so fragile that they have to shop for clothes online? I mean, there are plenty of safe space dressing rooms in stores.
Inorite?????
/cancels LL Bean online order
At least they are not on your lawn!
Stupid Browns fans. Don’t break Mayfield so soon.
“Break” and “Baker” are anagrams.
Huey Lewis shoulda gotten an Oscar.
Heheheh…Huey Lewis is a funny sumbitch.
Bummer about his health issues. Always a fun live show.
“they’re ready to see some success” . . .keep fucking waiting
yeah, and I’d like to have sex that doesn’t involve a complex internet search now that the assholes shut down backpage
FEED HIM TO TEH WOLVES!!!111
If brown fans rioted and burned the city down, would it be any different from what it looks like right now?
I think land value would improve.
Reduced demolition costs.
It would match the river. Great idea!
No don’t. I don’t think ODOT has the money to replace the overheads on all signs on I-71 North, I-77 North and I-80/90 East and West from “Cleveland” to “Flaming Ruins”.
oh, this is just delicious. Try a long FG, you dumb fucks
What the hell was that?
A woopsie-doodle
All political and other shit aside, I fucking hate the shit out of Kapernick.
He is a smug, dumb piece of shit. NO QUESTION.
I love watching football nude.
Unfortunately all the other patrons at this sports bar have no such free spirit.
Fucking puritans.
Isn’t that one of your amendments?
See Antonio, just twerk, no pumps.
Browns getting a first down…
Can’t believe that electric showman didn’t win.
Such bravado.
I liked Will Ferrell as George W. Bush on SNL:
“Twist in plot, I’m the smart one!”
Bartender, I’ll have a Todd Haley.
What’s in it?
Two ground up Marlboro Reds, a teaspoon of Copenhagen, three ounces of Yukon Jack, a chunk of burnt rubber, served in a rusty Hormel Chili can
Pretty sure that’s a Tomsula.
Pressure was working every single time, so why not dial up a 3 man rush there?
Boss Tood is really looking a Google Maps to find the fastest way out of the stadium when he retires at halftime.
Landry is so good, he must be pissed about getting doubled every down
I would LOVE for her to stab me to death.
You know, if the browns other color was yellow instead of orange, there would be plenty of “corn in shit” jokes that we could make.
Candy corn.
You’re welcome.
My wife is watching a Spanish historical drama on Netflix and Barcelona during a grain riot in the mid-14th century is kind of how I imagine the concourses will look after the game if the Browns get shut out.
What’s the nudity factor? Asking for everyone here.
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition.
I haven’t been paying close attention, but so far not good.
The opening scene is seriously straight out of Tombstone, where the local lord shows up to a country wedding to Prima Nocta all over everybodys’ ass, except they decide to get graphic with the rape aftermath. The hot Catalan peasant wife didn’t even get naked.