Your “Welcome Back to Work!” Monday Night Football Open Thread

Anyone ever all set to go on a vacation, and then suddenly the morning before have someone dump a giant project on you? This happened to me two Thursdays ago, with the kicker (a few fan bases recoil in horror at that word) being that I had prepared for this and had sent the person everything they had asked for prior to that date. They knew I was going, and yet, the morning before, needed everything done before I left. Shockingly, my boss recognized this, and basically backed me up in saying, “You’re shit out of luck and jolly well fucked.” So away on vacation I went, up to Seattle for a family wedding (THERE WAS DRAMA!) and then Vancouver, where I got to drankin’ with BeerGuyRob and the BeerGuy/GalDogs. One of those things was more enjoyable than the other, and I’ll let you obviously infer which it was.

Anyway, I am finally back in the office today and was all ready to have a somewhat easy day as I pick up the pieces and plow through the slog that was my inbox with my boss is in China for a week. “NAWT SO FAST!” cries that person with the project from before. They had been sitting, quietly, biding their time, awaiting my return for that exact moment to pick up where things left off. And best of all, they put zero time into working on the QUESTIONS that I sent them before I left. In fact, they found issues with nearly everything I had previously prepared all of a sudden TODAY, which they had previously approved! It’s enough to make you want to grab them by the throat and watch as your hands dig into their soft neck meat and slowly drain the life away from their hapless… Oh, uh, I mean, TO THE GAME!

Pittsburgh @ Tampa Bay The Rape Bowl

Oh dear god, why did I agree to this? With the latest news from Stormy Daniel’s new book, we get an even more gross depiction of THE BEN actively hunting his prey in the natural stalking grounds of a hotel. Was there requests to come into her room and rejections? Oh yeah. Did he try and hold the door open while she pushed against it? Mmmmmhmmm. Did he hang around for some time after that door was closed and  pathetically knock while muttering “Oh come on!” YOU BETCHA. The Yinzers sit at a humorous 0-1-1 and are getting pretty close digging themselves in too deep.

Meanwhile, BloodSugarFitzMagic will likely be starting his final game for the Bucs in leau of  the Crab and Pussy Pilferer’s 3-game suspension, and has played far better than one might expect of your usual Harvard Man. 2-0, and dare I say, pushing for a chance to keep his yob? Probably not the case, but depending on how Winston does upon his return, his tenure could be coming to a sputtering end.

So what happens tonight? Well, we haven’t had a tie yet this week, and having the Steelers boast an 0-1-2 record seems like the most hilarious outcome, so that’s what I’m going for. I’m sure you’ll have your opinions, so get with it and go make ’em!

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers is a native North County San Diegan with an affinity for the Padres, beer, whiskey, punk rock, video games and the end of days. If you eat a fish taco with a fork in his presence, you may lose your hand.
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Senor Weaselo

Praise Doink! Wait I have Boswell… *checks* eh it’s fine.

Redshirt

Yay, the Steelers are not dying and are going to 1-1-1. At least Thanos will be happy.

Unsurprised

I didn’t know Peyton had been gelded.
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WCS

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The Maestro

1st and goal at the 6 and they’re forced to settle for a field goal. The Tampa Bay Cuckaneers.

King Hippo

they most certainly could and should have gone for it, but I am glad they didn’t risk my FF exposure to Evans any MOAR

Spanky Datass

Tampa Claus seemed upset by the reversal.

King Hippo

wait until he learns private dances are up to $40 now

Brocky

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Unsurprised

The end of every Cap’n Stabbin’ video.

Unsurprised

R.I.P. (h/t Xmas Ape)
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WCS

FATALITY

Redshirt

ITS SUPER EFFECTIVE!

Wakezilla

/checks to see if game is worth watching or if I should do work.

Nope?

See y’all in a few hours.

WCS

So that was certainly… a football play.

Senor Weaselo

They would have touched him but that would have been a late hit. At least that’s my guess.

WCS

Roughing the passer

Sharkbait

I like this one better
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Mr. Ayo

Easy Joe, it’s not technically his entire family there.

Col. Duke LaCross

I’m an ass. I laughed.

LemonJello

Bed time at House LemonJello. Later, Taters!
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Spur

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Brocky

watching game with my dad while finishing dinner

Announcer: stay tuned for the genesis halftime show, featuring Flo-Rida!!!

dad reaches for remote

Dad: Gimme that…

The Maestro

Man, Flo Rida played a regular season Edmonton Eskimos halftime show last year. Talk about scraping the bottom of the talent barrel. Guess Tom Petty was unavaila…. oh.

Spur

NBA news? You have my interest.

Spur

oh, its just Stefanie Curry. never mind.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Suzy’s hairdo is kinda hot tonight.
I’d like to kiss her and I’m not even drunk.

Yet.

Mr. Ayo

Ooh. You’re not kidding. Yummy.

JustStopDude

I’m out. Night boys…

LemonJello

Nighty-night.
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Senor Weaselo

Not pictured: The Beatles jackin’ it in the dark.

Sharkbait

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Redshirt

So what have I missed, other than the Steelers going back to normal?

Spur

we found out Fitzy went to Harvard

JustStopDude

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theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, now that’s funny.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh fuck Ryan Switzer in the ass with a rusty pipe.
Little shithead.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Remember last year when I had JuJu and the Harf Harf always threw it to AB.
Now this year I have AB and….well you see where I’m going here.

Fuck fantasy football….more or less.

Spur

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theeWeeBabySeamus

/raises thermostat higher

Redshirt

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scotchnaut

Commercial-free half-time sponsored by Genesis? I hope they play “Saul’s Berry Hill”!

LemonJello

Say the magic word*!

*Abacab, the magic word is abacab.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suCNZe3Gwkw

JustStopDude

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I miss the “ghost riding tha whip” fad…

The Maestro

Stop trying to make “Tony Toe-Tap” happen!
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JustStopDude

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The Maestro

Jameis is worried as he tries to figure how to lose 45 pounds in less than a week.

King Hippo

Again, I like cocaine as the answer here.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe

JustStopDude

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LemonJello

I hope her dental plan was paid up.

The Maestro

I hate to jump to conclusions here, but I have this feeling that teeth might somehow actually be a hindrance in her other profession.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You have my attention.

LemonJello

She’s a pediatric thoracic surgeon?!?

theeWeeBabySeamus

8/10…would help her up.

scotchnaut

Up by 42-might be safe to go to bed now.

King Hippo

I have a similar lead, but still fading Conner and Evans. I do not like the game flow.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I can still win this week if AB has like 200 receiving yds and 4 TD’s in the 2nd half.

I BELIEVE!!!!!!

/doesn’t believe

JustStopDude

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The Maestro

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Spur

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Spur

Evans used to catch passes from Manziel. A Fitz lob is easy to catch for him,

herodotus450

Well Fitzy did go to Harvard, so you can’t blame him for trying to force it into a tight spot.
/Didn’t actually see the INT
//Or the other one
///Or the other other one
////Harvard you say?

The Maestro

My other fun fact of the evening: Antonio Gates was a college basketball player!

litre_cola

Ok smart guy, where is Jerome Bettis from?

The Maestro

Oh, man, this is a tough one. De… troit? Is that a place?

Brocky

So… as a bears fan should i be hoping to face fitz or winston next week?

Mr. Ayo

Winston

The Maestro

Vintage yellow jersey dudebro is PERPLEXED, folks.

King Hippo

I hope Mrs. WCS is working night shift so a certain someone is at least able to jerk it to this.

WCS

She’s asleep, which means I get Lil’ WCS and Lil’er WCS are doing their damnedest to distract me from the game and Saul.

King Hippo

I’m just glad I watched last week’s Saul this afternoon before all the merde hit the fan. I see the slow-mo Kim crash coming, and it’s heart-rending.

JustStopDude

Sweet Jesus he couldn’t hit the ground right now except for gravity.

Spur

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The Maestro

Walks out to a crossover? PASS

litre_cola

Will he come out in a hobos outfit this week?

King Hippo

This is…something. Truly a footy event.

The Maestro

Oh man.

Mr. Ayo

He needs to retire at halftime.

LemonJello

Who is ShitzTastic’s backup?

King Hippo

His chest hair?

LemonJello

His beard is going to file papers for emancipation from the rest of ShitzTastic.

WCS

A Million Little Things is going to be so goddamned awful and win so many goddamned awards.

King Hippo

It looks like someone deliberately tried to make the biggest turd show ever. Like, on a dare.

LemonJello

I hear tell that cocaine is a helluva drug.

Spur

JPP doesn’t have to worry about throwing is full weight on a QB anymore

Spur

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LemonJello

That’s a puppet show I could watch for hours.

King Hippo

Can The Ben die? That would amuse me greatly. I want to see him have seizures and poop himself.

litre_cola

Then go to his local on wing night.