Anyone ever all set to go on a vacation, and then suddenly the morning before have someone dump a giant project on you? This happened to me two Thursdays ago, with the kicker (a few fan bases recoil in horror at that word) being that I had prepared for this and had sent the person everything they had asked for prior to that date. They knew I was going, and yet, the morning before, needed everything done before I left. Shockingly, my boss recognized this, and basically backed me up in saying, “You’re shit out of luck and jolly well fucked.” So away on vacation I went, up to Seattle for a family wedding (THERE WAS DRAMA!) and then Vancouver, where I got to drankin’ with BeerGuyRob and the BeerGuy/GalDogs. One of those things was more enjoyable than the other, and I’ll let you obviously infer which it was.
Anyway, I am finally back in the office today and was all ready to have a somewhat easy day as I pick up the pieces and plow through the slog that was my inbox with my boss is in China for a week. “NAWT SO FAST!” cries that person with the project from before. They had been sitting, quietly, biding their time, awaiting my return for that exact moment to pick up where things left off. And best of all, they put zero time into working on the QUESTIONS that I sent them before I left. In fact, they found issues with nearly everything I had previously prepared all of a sudden TODAY, which they had previously approved! It’s enough to make you want to grab them by the throat and watch as your hands dig into their soft neck meat and slowly drain the life away from their hapless… Oh, uh, I mean, TO THE GAME!
Pittsburgh @ Tampa Bay The Rape Bowl
Oh dear god, why did I agree to this? With the latest news from Stormy Daniel’s new book, we get an even more gross depiction of THE BEN actively hunting his prey in the natural stalking grounds of a hotel. Was there requests to come into her room and rejections? Oh yeah. Did he try and hold the door open while she pushed against it? Mmmmmhmmm. Did he hang around for some time after that door was closed and pathetically knock while muttering “Oh come on!” YOU BETCHA. The Yinzers sit at a humorous 0-1-1 and are getting pretty close digging themselves in too deep.
Meanwhile, BloodSugarFitzMagic will likely be starting his final game for the Bucs in leau of the Crab and Pussy Pilferer’s 3-game suspension, and has played far better than one might expect of your usual Harvard Man. 2-0, and dare I say, pushing for a chance to keep his yob? Probably not the case, but depending on how Winston does upon his return, his tenure could be coming to a sputtering end.
So what happens tonight? Well, we haven’t had a tie yet this week, and having the Steelers boast an 0-1-2 record seems like the most hilarious outcome, so that’s what I’m going for. I’m sure you’ll have your opinions, so get with it and go make ’em!
[Banner image via]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbN8jqDhHO8
Here’s a Paddle Tennis player going through the glass
Couldn’t they make that out of not actual glass? Like, polycarb or something?
/When in doubt, think fighting robots apparently
Going between tabs on my browser…..
Sees 50 new comments
I bet moose showed up
Comments?
I have 13 of them, so I guess I’m the cause and effect.
Shit, this makes 14 of 52, that’s Tebow-esque.
Also; so the fuck what?
Hey, Luka Modric was named FIFA player of the year! He’s the first player not named Messi or Ronaldo to be named this award since 2007.
Nice try. I still don’t like those Maryland uniforms.
Just catching up on the world; I presume that as soon as Trump heard Kavanaugh was a virgin through high school that he withdrew the nomination.
Perpetrating sexual assault is like anal sex; doesn’t count…
That last minute pick-six getting called back in the Bears/Cardinals game yesterday ended up costing me both a Vegas bet and my money-League matchup yesterday. What have I done to anger GAMBLOR?
Gamble.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVVmIhFngDw
Howdy. Nashville is a great town and I wish I didn’t have to leave tomorrow.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnEKcKUa_Gk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-tZ1gJPiIY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuUZy5B205E
I was very entertained by that game even though the rapist won.
No one is entertained by the Japanese karaoke while getting a handjob game show GIFs except for me so here is another one.
I, for one, enjoy them. The only way I would ever do karaoke.
I’d prolly never make it to the actual singing part anyway.
I sure hope lube is involved or else that guy is going to have an accordion dick
Kawhi Leonard is the prince of awkward laughs in Ontario. (Jason Spezza will always be king).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIwh0njInPk
I did you all a favour. I knew if I didn’t watch, Tampa would come storming back. #URWelcum
I will never not find this funny
That cat looks like he lives on a farm and feasted on mice.
The only thing that cat has ever chased and caught was…….. he’s never chased and caught anything.
Those fat cats know how to catch mice. I’ve got a friend that lives on a farm and her cat, Optimus Prime, is as big as that cat and it’s all from catching mice. Though, he don’t chase anything,.
We had a ranch in the family; none of those twelve cats were the least bit fat. They were all in shape. Mice also know how to run and hide. She’s feeding him a lot if he’s fat.
Yeah, I see what you mean….
But that doesn’t provide an explanation for that fat fucker on the right
I’m going to call this latest pork chili I’m cooking “Midnight Chili” cause that’s when it’s going to finally be done.
Damn dude, it’s not even midnight here yet.
When did you start?
OK, time to go get drunk and watch Better Call Saul.
In that order.
I cannot WAIT to bullshit with St Peter at teh Pearly Gates.
“I was funny & nice. YOU quantify it!”
Alrighty. Good time for a fumbleception. HAIL BLEERGH.
Or that.
To Juju. Of course.
Please Bell to jets thank yew jeezis
They will never get this ball back.
Noap. One Conner first down and it’s ovah.
/pulls out notebook
//writes game over
///drinks more freezer vodka
Mmmm… freezer vodka.
WHATTA PUNT!!!
Aw maaaaaan do I love me a good Stillers meltdown.
Even the refs are tired of this new rule.
33-33 after mighty Sha’nklor?
PRAISE BE TO HER
30, 33, whatever it takes.
They really are terrible towels, though.
Le’Veon Bell’s worth keeps dropping.
James Conner is fucking him over.
The capitalists are turning the working man against each other, making them fight for their table scraps. Working as intended.
Amen, good Proletarian!
Jerry Jones would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
WE WANT THE TIE! WE WANT THE TIE!
FITZMAGIC IS BACK!
Mike Evans is a whiny bitch.
But that was a pretty catch.
Imma shut up now.
Had him last year too and he didn’t do shit.
So I repeat…
Fuck fantasy football.
BLE’ERGH graces us again. ALL HAIL!
BLEERGH DEMANDS MOAR
Touchdown called back by holding, DRINK!
At least he didn’t run backwards this time.
Way ahead of you.
Remember when Vincent Jackson was good? And then he left to go to Tampa and was basically never heard from again?
All I’m saying is that it’s striking how his career arc is similar to JonBenet Ramsay’s life.
NICE!!
Wow.
Not to miss the obvious joke, but is there a Tampa connection I dont get?
Nah, just unexplained disappearances.
C’MON TIE!
LOFTY float there. MAYBE.
Godwin is having the most up and down night of the year.
“There was no foul on the play for a horse collar, but fuck it, we’re gonna give one anyway!”
Jeebus, WTF is Yinzburgh D thinking here?
“mmmm … fries in sandwiches”
Oh goody, Ohio State vs. Penn State. I’m sure everyone will be ecstatic at that matchup.
Still lacks the media coverage of Michigan State – Penn State.
Oh, wait, you probably mean sports media, and not crime news, right?
Half the B1G is embroiled in systematic abuse investigations, including THE Ohio State University. They have their own page in the crime blotter.
If ISIL wants to boost its approval ratings by a WHOLE LOT…
Fitzmagic is about to do something stupid.
You heard it here first.
I stand corrected, that was a nice check down.
But give him time.
The more I think about it, the more it’s a damning indictment of the Democrats that this is the first time Ted Cruz has run a competitive race against a Democrat. They have literally given up on at least half the country.Fuck ’em. Fuck ’em all.There is a point in there but ignore me. I’m an idiot.
this is only the 2nd time he’s ran, is it not?
There was also statewide races for something before that. AG, I think. BRB.Well, I’m an idiot. You’re right. I’m going to yell at some people online.
Some other people.
Why does animated Snoop Dogg seem so concerned if I can get an erection?
/asking foar a friend
Chop Block. TB became Wake Forest so gradually.
(Hippo would love that joke)
Boswell went from Vinetari to Blair Walsh disturbingly quickly.
So, I went and got delicious Ethiopian food instead of watching the game thus far, worth flipping on the last quarter, or should I go read in the dark while stabbing my eyeballs instead?
Stabbing
I thought they didn’t have food in Ethiopa.
And I would recommend stabbing.
They did until the 1980s.
Fun fact, Ethiopia was the model for Wakanda (it was the only country in Africa not colonized) and is where Wakanda is located when they show it on the map. It’s also the cradle of humanity.
That spongy bread is dope af
Ethiopian food in general is really good.
SHAN’KLOR DEMANDS MORE
HAIL SHAN’KHOR!