Hey gang. I don’t see anything in this slate of games that makes the hair on my saggy balls stand on end. But all of us have been down this road before. It’s not the ‘meh-level’ that matters-it’s the *experience* that matters. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN! And anything usually does. So let’s go out there like the jaded bastards and bastardettes we are and cheer for the ‘how was that not a catch?‘ play, the Fatguydown, the Doink! or the Bleerg. Whatever gets you to rubbing your very own personal g spot. TO THE GAMES!
Pitt/Jax:
This was a keeper of a game once upon a time. Oh, there were playoff implications galore written all over the tilt. But then the Jags qb Bortled all over the O and the cleanup has been nasty. Perhaps signing another O-lineman from one of the league’s worst units (the Giants) will (HAH!) fix the problem.
Hou/Was:
This here’s the highlight of the package and I’ll not watch one second of it.
Cincy/Bal:
[Redshirt pulls hair out of head]
Ten/Indy:
That guy with the wonky shoulder has 26 TD’s already. If he can stay upright he’ll be fine. If you’re telling folks that you drafted te Ebron because you had a ‘feeling’, you’re lying through your yellowed teeth. You just got lucky and gotdamn, buy a new toothbrush already!
Dal/Atl:
I’m always in the mood for a Cowboys bashing. Let’s hope that the Falcons D can fix their issues defending the pass to the rb out of the backfield. They’ve been torn to shreds on that play.
TB/NYG:
Nothing to see here.
Car/Det:
Cam pulls a turkey clubhouse toothpick out of Stafford’s paw and the Detroit qb is grateful. Later, a stuffed Lion’s head is mounted on the wall of Cam’s den. Cam’s pastel-pink smoking jacket nods approvingly.
There but for the grace of football go I. “GO I, GO!”
yooo Colts look good.
Andrew Luck could take this team to the playoffs.
HI EVERYBODY!
HAI Doctor Dedly!
Looks like the Tits went Tits Up. I think the Colts will win make the playoffs.
Cowboys be Cowboysin’
I see the Browns are considering Condi Rice as their next head coach. Excuse me a moment…
Only the Browns would be able to make me root enthusiastically against the first female head coach in NFL history.
Make that coach Sarah Silverman and I’ll root for an 0-18 affair.
“HAHAHAHA I called that run MY VAGINAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAA!”
They gonna do like an ASU Herm Edwards thing where the coach is a like a Chief Executive of Coaching?
Or are they just trying to check off some “first”, which seems obvious.
Finally finished doctor’s office. I had a cough attack while there and now I’m getting an X-Ray on my lungs. Of course, it’s going to be at least a 90 minutes wait.
Apparently I might be dead before I get this test done
ASK. FOR. TUSSIONEX!
Feel better soon, hope you don’t have consumption!
I would be fully onboard with Redacteds hiring Kaep.
they’s more likely to put Theismann back out there
/and he was IN THE STADIUM!
No one would blame him for PTSDing out after that
The Peter Man more likely than Kaep
The Redacteds signing Kaep would be so surprising and I don’t think their fanbase could handle that.
If the Titans don’t do it, hopefully Washington will
So many heads would be asplodin it would look like a Scanners remake.
It’s honestly probably too savvy a move for the idiot, but it would get him in good with the DC city council, and as I’m convinced he wants to build RFK 2 in the city that would be a smart thing to do
Oops forgot to put on Bengals hoodie. Will brb.
Looks like Cam got some of Rodger’s knee medicine of choice.
That’s NAWT Greg Olsen
I see Dak took his brave pills today.
Think he’s fantasy startable on Thanksgiving?
Let’s not get crazy here.
Teh Ben playing like shit is quite heart warming
What happened to Cam?
he die (looked like a knee)
/he got better
A witch!
Ok. The mention said he ded then I saw he was still getting FFL points. Maybe its Zombie Cam?
Alex Smith listed as ‘Doubtful’
To return to the league?
to avoid Lil’ Danny selling him to Elmers Corp.
If he’s out an extended period of time, the Giants might just win the division!
Should be upgraded to “Possible” – Bill B.
16-nil Jaguras.
That’s just about the only thing that isn’t stupid about this slate of games
will not look at the alex smith injury will not look at the alex smith injury will not look at the alex smith injury will not look at the alex smith injury will not look at the alex smith injury
[sees alex smith injury replay]
noooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Kerrigan saves the day!
/DOK sploosh
He’s good at the sacks
That’s roughing the passer, and breaking the passer’s goddamn leg isn’t? Yep. Rules totes make sense.
Afternoon, folks. The REDBLACKS playoff game is going well here. Will switch back to Red Zone upon conclusion. Nobody do anything crazy while I’m out!
Just saw Alex Smith’s injury. Eegh.
HOLY SHIT, was the exact anniversary of LT/Theisman (per coked-out RZ guy)
Some creepy stuff, whoever is playing QB for the Redacteds 33 years from now best watch out
11/19/51: Breaking news from the Washington Native Residents, all three QBs on the roster have called in sick with the flu.
We could’ve settled for a video replay, not a reenactment.
It’s the fucking Hunger Games for starting QBs today
Just got a fantasy notification that Alex Smith is out. NO SHIT YAHOO
MOAR liek glue!
SUDDEN VANDER CHANGE!
now PLEASE throw a TD to fucking Cooper
now Cam die?
John Ross caught something?!
looks like a road winner!
Mike Evans gets the TD by recovering a fumble in the end zone. I’LL TAKE IT!
Look at John Ross trying!
I didn’t even knew he knew how to do that!
yeah, when you have a 10-point lead on Colt Fucking McCoy, deffo take risks on offense. Dumb buttchin motherfucker.
If he wants to give Preston opportunities, I’m all for it!
DAK DAK DAK DAK DAK!
and Bill Maher misses the extra point
Serves him right for disrespecting Stan Lee.
I’m not sure if this is a controversial position for this community…but I don’t think Ryan Fitzpatrick is a good QB…
Ok back from my bike/walk/pathetic jog and not dead. But regrets given the air quality today.
Alex smith is broken leg guy.
Maybe he shouldn’t have been standing there
Colt McCoy – playoff starting quartered back
GODDDDDDDDDAMn
Joe Theisman 2: Electric Boogaloo
RIP Tiny Hands
what happen? my teevee no show
oh shit
I think that’s good…Colts doing a sort of swing dance tap, heel no down
I kinda wish I was watching HOU/WAS instead of Red Zone. The highlights have been pretty damn funny
Know what sucks? EVERYTHING
so low energy, low scoring. very unfair.
I’m always amazed that Tiny Hands always has a double digit fantasy projection
you referencing Alex smith, right?
Si
As far as I know, the POTUS doesn’t play in the NFL
I would totally play fantasy politics though, is that a thing?
Any more all politics seem to be an ugly fantasy.
Fitzy reverting to the mean
doink!!!!
Wish I’d taken the Giants D in fantasy this week… Oh yeah, we got rid of D’s because it’s a total crapshoot.
I picked them up mid-week, decided to use Black Panthers instead. KILL ME.
hell yea tennessee titans gabbo time
BWHAHAHAHAHAHA GABBOCEPTION!!!!!!!!!
Matt Bryant and Matt Ryan?
I mean, the first guy has an extra BT. If his middle initial is L he’s up a whole sandwich
Good tackling in Atlanta
This week has been very poor thus far.
make it month for me
Giants up big. Hope rears it’s ugly head like a semi poking out of a pair of pyjama bottoms.
Dan Quinn, have you thought about turning the Falcons off and back on again?
Amari is ALIVE after all?
Colts up big and Ebron doesn’t have a single point in fantasy. Now if Derrick Henry (the guy I dropped and my opponent picked up) lays another egg I’m going to shit-talk as though my life depended on it.