ESPN has been shoving this game down our throats and I don’t blame them one bit. Back in my bartending days, the Monday Nighter was must-see football. I had the dining room shift at the time and myself and the wait staff would shoo prospective diners up to the second floor area and towards the appetizer menu. We’d close up shop and rendezvous at a bar by the name of “TRAMPS”. The joke that I told to my girlfriend at the time (now wife) was that the place was owned by all my ex-girlfriends. That went over well, btw.
The greatest tilt I’ve ever witnessed on the first day of the work week was a 7-3 Niners win over the Giants way back in ’90. You (and makers of listicles) can have your “Jets Miracle Comeback” or your “Montana Squeaks by the Broncos” or your “Rook RB Earl Campbell Runs Wild” or your “Marino Gives The ’85 Bears Their Only Loss”. (that one is a very close second) The intensity of play between San Fran and NY was only matched by the NFC Championship game later on that year. I’ve never seen anything like it since. TO THE GAME!
Chiefs/Rams:
What can I say? KC’s only loss is to the Pats. The Rams sole L was to the Saints. No one has found a way to stop Mahomes to this point and Goff’s at-home QBR rating is a bananacakes-sponsored 126.5. This isn’t a chess game. This is speed-checkers.
King Me!
*revered *expert *lurker *hosebag *gearbox *kumquat lover *boob squeezer
Hot Ones got picked up my MSG? I should probably try my Last Dab Reduxx, right?
Waiting for my stupid computer to update, how awesome is it so far?
Do you like flags Zymm????
Ah, one of THOSE games
Did you try downloading more RAM?
That’s funny, which is weird because it isn’t. But it’s funny.
Game hasn’t started due to field conditions. Will be moved to Ixtapa.
Is… is Andy Reid going to challenge a play AFTER burning his second time-out? Does he get the time-out back, or is this going to enter the annals of horrible Andy Reid clock management?
I hope the call stands, just for the hilarity of it
Well, he only lost one timeout for it, but man, it would have been great if Andy had managed to lose two timeouts on the same play. It’s almost entirely against the rules and he’d still have found a way to do it.
I hope it lubes up before entering the annals.
Do Rams’ receivers even need to run routes right now? What if they just ran in straight lines and Goff threw at them? They’d probably just get tackled anyways, right?
Evening lizard people. In the past 24 hours I have had both “Thank you, brother” AND “I love you” said to me. Pop quiz, which one was Senorita Weaselo and which one was the gas station attendant?
Trick question. Both were said by your right hand to your penis.
Absolutely not! Because I’m left-handed.
That would just make the right hand more exotic and alluring.
Was the gas station attendant cute?
Trick question! It was both!
Second trick question! Senorita Weaselo is both!
Was that a flag or did a part of the Rams uniform come apart?
Some blonde bim apparently used her personal e-mail account for government communications. Looking forward to everyone being really consistent vis-a-vis their collective belief that said bim should be locked up.
LOCK HER UP
Since A) it was Ivanka, B) they’re the biggest fucking hypocrites and C) consistently have Stage 4 Smooth Brain Syndrome, ain’t never gonna happen… but a man can dream, I suppose!
The hypocrisy exhibited over the past 2 years has absolutely stunningly breathtaking.
You already know the answer.
I’m sure there will be a calm, rational reaction to this news.
Moar flags!
tell ol’ Pharoah…let that kickoff go!
Wade Wilson sighting!!
Ex-NFL QB or Marvel superhero?
they gave Wade Wilson a comic franchise?
Isn’t that the name of that Deadpool guy? Maybe I’m confused.
(Hippo’s old. Forgiveness please.)
I’m having a fire in my backyard.
In my chiminea, Californians. It’s called personal responsibility.
beautiful throw
I personally believe that since Mexico City was a no-go for this game, it should’ve been moved to a neutral field, such as Wichita.
let ’em play in Bolivia
Cambodia
Big Red vs. the Khmer Rouge… WHO YA GOT???
Kokomo.
Khmer (-3)
St Louis
WE HAVE A WINNER
This… what is this? This doesn’t work. This isn’t working. Stop trying to make this work, ESPN.
the floor is now yours, Kermit
The world is going to absolute shite, but look! Your selfies will turn out better! Go die, human race.
Fact. We’re all terrible
Evening, folks. I see RAMMMMMMIT!!! is already in high gear.
LA deserves this showcase, for being such a GREAT NFL town!
WE HAVE SO MANY TEAMS WE CAN’T REMEMBER THEM ALL
Moar Flags for the flag gods!
THIS KC DEFENSE I CALL THEM GRU BECAUSE THEY’RE LETTING DUDES IN YELLOW RUN ALL OVER THE PLACE
Sup bitches.
Hard dicks and helicopters
temporarily, MNF ratings
Thanksgiving Week is my most favorite week of the year, right after Girls with Big Tits go Topless Week
I DEMAND MOAR FRAGS!!!!!!
Vintage Andy Reid timeout. Just perfect.
He needed to break to regain his focus after thinking about all the things he could eat with the contents of all those animate mustard bottles.
Whenever I see Andy Reid:
This is funny, if only because the only tomatoes that Andy Reid’s ever eaten have come in some variety of sauce.
Ketchup is a vegetable!
I Was Told There Would Be No Vegetables – working title, Andy Reid biography
Just let these fuckers play.
Y’all, we are gon’ see so much KHunt tonite
The Coliseum sounds loud as hell right now.
If you can find it, Old Line Single Malt Whiskey is a fucking triumph in a bottle. Brewed right here in Bawlmer
That missed extra point will come back to haunt the Rams.
XEROX OF FATE MAYBE
The over for this game is 576
Lamar Jackson, pissing off Baltimore rednecks than MLK ever did.
If you didn’t know who was playing, you could be forgiven for glancing at the uniforms and wondering why the Chiefs were beating up on this DIII college team.
…and by “beating up on” apparently I mean “being massively embarrassed by”
Evenin, I see it is a flagkakke already.
Good evening, you sadistic trologytes. What in fuck is up?
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!
Am I the only one that thinks it’s weird/craven for the NFL to honor all these first responders, but not… you know… any of the other people who died?
Dead people can’t buy official NFL licensed merchandise.
“Honor the dead? I’ll handle that!”
—El Presidente
Here’s a stunning development:
Now that elections are over, the Pentagon will begin drawing down the military presence at the southern border.
REMEMBER FOLKS, NOBODY TREATS OUR TROOPS BETTER THAN ME
As much of a pain in the ass as Operation Frightful Idiot was/will continue to be at work for me, I’m happy that it did not have its intended effect. Little too transparently cynical I guess.
Meanwhile, over on BBC America:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnzgdBAKyJo
Is it possible to damage DVRs by pausing and rewinding them on the same spot, like VCRs of days of yore?
Nah, but if you’re really worried I’m sure someone has uploaded clips of “Stephanie Broadchest” to the internet.
Old dude on the field with sweatshirt reading CHIEFS KINGDOM. Shouldn’t it be CHIEFS CHIEFDOM? Kingdoms have kings, not chiefs.
Well there’s Chiefs Chefdom, but that’s just the native american culinary school I went to for a semester.
I hear that they call corn “maize”
Also, there should be an apostrophe after the S because it’s possessive
Today I learned that sachem and sagamore were Algonquin words for chief! Thanks dioramas in the gymnasatorium that I teach strings in!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLOmieznNHQ&ab_channel=SimpsonsClips
This feels like we’re going to get a 35-31 type classic that MNF will remind us every week for years. With that said, it’s MNF, so, I fully expect a 18-15 field goalkakke
Going to scrape my last remaining nickels and dimes together to bet the over. Got to rebuild that nest egg somehow. $6.21 on the line!
David Carr looks like one of the Trump boys. That’s rough.
I think NFL Network is being a bit disingenuous in listing “Won SB XLVI with NYG” in Carr’s qualifications to pontificate. Really? What was his QBR in that game.
He still got sacked three times despite not playing a down.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXU4m5S7IO8&ab_channel=TAAX
Nacho Sanchez bringing his cheese to babysitting gigs in DC. C’mon Tits, sign Kaep, damnit!
Since when does Forbes Magazine review computer games, and I wonder how many gamers make purchases based upon those reviews.
See: Ben Shapiro
Probably Colin Jost
I think it is mainly so they have something to actually discuss with their children. Or maybe they play violent games so they can get the visceral thrill of hearing the moans and painful deaths that they miss as they destroy lesser companies and consign plebeians to lives of misery and futility in their day to day lives as the 1%.
Your latter scenario checks out.
It wasn’t just me noticing the zebra madness:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zsGzpW-wgc
It wasn’t. The refs were absolutely awful all around. After that ridiculous OPI call late in the game against the Broncos, I literally screamed at my TV “just let them play, you fucks!”.
Without doing any research at all, I’m going to assume Jets miracle comeback was against the Dolphins. That one really sticks in my mind.
Now I’m gonna go look up what year that was. I can’t even remember what decade, but I’m thinking 1990s.
Edit: 2000. Both teams were 5-1, Pats still lost in the wilderness. Dennis Fucking Miller in the booth.
The statistician during this game [artist’s conception]
I’m boycotting this game since it isn’t in Mexico.
Well, if I’m not mistaken, there are many Mexicans in Los Angeles, so there’s that.
HOW DID TRUMP GET TO YOU?!
For once, this game might actually live up to the hype.
/9-6 final
//with three safeties.