Your MNF Week 14 Open Thread

The parking lot was full of cars,  but everyone was already inside.  We were late.

It was her company Christmas party and I really didn’t want to go, but a good boyfriend does what a good boyfriend does and the reason we were late was because we’d gotten a little frisky during the dressing up process.

As it was,  we had basically half-assed the dressing job as I didn’t have my tie on and she still needed to fix her scarf/top ensemble. As we parked in a spot between the cars,  I looked around.

There wasn’t a creature stirring,  not even a mouse.

Balls: Hey,  I don’t think your top is on right.

Her: What are you talking about?

With one swift move,  I had undone the knot in her tied-up top revealing her Victoria’s Secret bra.

“Woops! My bad”, I said with devilish delight.

She gave me a look that told me I was a naughty boy but that she approved.

“I’m sure that was just an accident.”

“Completely”, I whispered as I pulled one breast out from its constraint.

“Hi! Haven’t seen you in a while!”

“It was literally 30 minutes ago!”

“Was it?”

I proceeded to put her nipple in my mouth.  It was erect.

Out of the blue,  a voice yelled out, “TO THE GAME!!”

***

The Vikings try to stake their claim to the last Wild Card spot in the NFC tonight as they visit the likely top Wild Card team in the Pacific Northwest, the Seattle Seahawks.

A Seahawk victory will all but clinch the final Wild Card spot for them and will leave a big pack of rabid dogs chasing that last Wild Card spot.

Should the Vikings win…., well, we might as well talk about me having a threesome with Betty and Veronica from Riverdale.

Enjoy the game!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Do people watching ESPN on the cable feed see different commercials than I see watching via their app?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What? Can’t be!

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Brick Meathook

I think the apps have different ads, some of them anyway.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan

So, we got ourselves a real shootout here, don’t we?

WCS

Indeed, and all of the weapons are unloaded or keep jamming.

Spur

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King Hippo

that is DEFFO a Texan

Brick Meathook

I say Mexican. A Mexico Mexican.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Great pussy lips have no country.

Brick Meathook

You ever been to Haiti?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, that one is an exception, but just because dictators robbed the country.

Senor Weaselo

In case you were wondering, it’s bad offense.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Gimme 5-2, game ends on intentional safety

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

good lord viks. I’m going to bed.

King Hippo

3rd and 3, run a TWO YARD out

King Hippo

followed by telegraphed run and ineffective holding

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

So, 3-0? How? Are they playing in 18″ of invincible snow?

Redshirt

I mean 20 plays in opponent territory and three points?

Horatio Cornblower

Herr Goddell took the under.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Nice throw, Inbred Cousins

Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

Those are the kind of child-bearing hips that’ll get you betrothed to the Duke of Bavaria, even if he is your second cousin and all of the children those hips bear turn out to be pale, cross-eyed, hemophiliacs.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Blair Walsh sighting! Everybody spill your drink!

WCS

Leave Drew alone, he’s going through a rough spot.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Any idea what the deal is?

Horatio Cornblower

Some sort of accident, per twitter and Deadspin.

King Hippo

gurls like jew-ry HARF

King Hippo

Dingleberry is just fucking awful. I know Keenum hasn’t been much in Donksland, neither – but he ain’t getting $84M guaranteed, FFS

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

I am inclined to agree with you. However I’m holding out hope that with the right OC and a better O-line his pinpoint accuracy will lead to hot fire next season.

King Hippo

hey, might as well hang onto hope, y’all is pot-committed as fuck

Spur

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Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Ah yes… Washington thought Cousins was too risk-averse… clearly ALEX SMITH was the answer to those woes!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

He’s so risk-averse he can’t even grab a football.

Horatio Cornblower

Right now he can’t even walk.

King Hippo

At least he can feel ONE of his legs. SIGH – Ryan S., Pittsburgh, PA

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Getting Denied at the 1” is what Rick Mirer calls when a chick is wearing a chastity belt

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I haven’t seen a fat man with a reception like that since Penn Jillette announced he had HIV!

Spur

This game is kinda of dragging

Mr. Ayo

Heading for another 6-6 tie.

King Hippo

RUN FAT BOY RUN!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

Tomsulas Fat Guy catch lost yards ,, ppl forget that

/Brandon Perna, National Treasure

WCS

FATMAN RECEPTION

Mr. Ayo

They should have run that from the 1 yard line

Brick Meathook

Wow it’s still 3-0

Spur

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hippofant

Ehh. I’m a little more creeped out by this one than anything.

WCS

Uhhh… what in the devil’s name is this in place of football?

JustStopDude

Real juxtaposition compared to the rest of the 1st half with the violent Wilson dick riding from the announcing crew up to this point…

Ian Scott McCormick

I don’t know if anybody wants to get their dicks ridden violently.

Brick Meathook

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rockingdog

bahahahaha! OMG!

Spur

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Ian Scott McCormick

This is why you keep Lynch.

Horatio Cornblower

What are you, running for the Senate in Mississippi?

King Hippo

hey man, it’s the 1 what did y’all expect?

Horatio Cornblower

Oh, I see Jesus has been fucking around with Russell Wilson again.

“Run. Run backwards more! Keep going! Now throw it away! Don’t look…I SAID DON’T LOOK!!!’

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Personally I think it was hackers.

Horatio Cornblower

Either way, ghost in the machine.

King Hippo

It’s true, God can be kind of a dick when he drank

Senor Weaselo

Needs more nanobubbles.

Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo

Well that was dumb

Petronel

Wtf was that Russ?

Spur

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH

Spur

1 more drink?

rockingdog

drink some water

Horatio Cornblower

/Horatio, working late, flips the game on
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Spur

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

SHE COULD BREAK THE WALL WITH THAT DUMPER
EDIT: it’s Italy, I’m on angel dust, go suck a fat one

Brick Meathook

Fourth-and-one? What will Pete Carroll do? Run or pass?

rockingdog

Run

The Maestro

Commit a delay-of-game penalty.

Brick Meathook

..

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

DO JET SWEEPS MELT STEEL BEAMS

Spur

Sue for an unredacted officials report of the 2nd down play

Horatio Cornblower

Blame the Jews.

rockingdog

LOL

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So I was reading that Voyager 1 is traveling at 17 km/s. Imagine that! That is so insanely fast.

Brick Meathook

Isn’t 17km like six feet or something? That’s not very fast

The Maestro

That’s even faster than Andy Reid getting up to go for seconds in the buffet line!

Spur

Russell is not a “young QB”.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

He’s like 21 in pussy years

King Hippo

the years he ain’t fuck don’t count

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I don’t even speak a lick of Spanish and I enjoy it more than the regular broadcast.

King Hippo

I wonder what the espanol version is of “Booger?” Sommet like Bumblebee Man?

King Hippo

es muy bueno!!

Wakezilla

The direct translation is Mucos, so, it’s likely that?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If you’re licking anything Spanish, you’re having a better night than I am.

The Maestro

When LeBron finally retires, I think we should all pool our money and/or get a Kickstarter going to watch him in an MMA battle against an actual fucking Terminator bot.

Spur

i want to see him play soccer

Brick Meathook

Pro bowling tour

King Hippo

Whistle at a white woman in rural Alabama

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Excuse you refs. Germain Ifedi is not on the Vikes and god willing he never fucking will be.

The Maestro

Evening, folks. Hope you’re well, and that your drinks are full.

jjfozz

Yes I am doing well. And yes, my drank be fool.

jjfozz

Glowsticks Punt!

King Hippo

what if a rave broke out…and nobody was left to toss fishies?

Petronel

Depends on who’s running the rave. PNW version has no such problem.

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