NFL News:
- Crimebeat! Hall of Fame member Adam “Pacman” Jones was arrested on charges of public intoxication, disorderly conduct and intimidation early Wednesday morning at the Rising Sun Casino in Indiana.
- The initial allegation was cheating at a table, and when he was detained for that police discovered he had an out-of-county warrant.
- The Bears have made it official – they are releasing the Crown Prince of DOINK!, Cody Parkey.
- Despite Robbie Gould, their preferred replacement, having been franchise tagged by the 49ers.
- I look forward to Pete Carroll talking about what a good young man he is, and how he’ll be an asset to the team.
- Not to be outdone, the Eagles announced they won’t be tagging Nick Foles, so he’ll be allowed to hit the open market.
- So far, only Jacksonville is known to be interested – especially since Denver signed Joe Flacco.
Finally, no one seems to know exactly why the CFL forced the Alouettes to release Johnny Manziel, nor why they also took steps to ban him from the league.
- All that’s being said is that he “contravened the agreement which made him eligible to play.”
- When asked for clarification, the league commissioner Randy Ambroise offered a statement that,
- “Those conditions have been violated and we feel it’s best, and Montreal feels its best, to let Johnny move on. And we think it’s best for our league that he do the same. And we wish him well.”
- When asked for clarification, the league commissioner Randy Ambroise offered a statement that,
- Although proffered, no one is suggesting he broke those rules in order to become eligible to play in the AAF or XFL.
- Manziel was due a $75,000 bonus March 1 and scheduled to earn a $202,000 base salary in 2019.
Jesus – that Cohen hearing. Between Democrats furiously trying not to masturbate while asking questions,
to Republicans having rage strokes & forgetting the words on their scripts,
no wonder Trump finally went to Vietnam.
Days like this, you want the sweet release of a sporting event just to turn off all the noise for five fucking minutes. Oh hey, look –
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Oilers at Leafs – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Lightning at Rangers – 7:30PM | NBCSN
- Flames at Devils – 7:30PM | Sportsnet1
- Canucks at Avs – 9:30PM | Sportsnet
- Blackhawks at Ducks – 10:00PM | NBCSN
- NBA:
- Pistons at Spurs – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
- Pelicans at Lakers – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN
- NCAA:
- Georgia Tech at Virginia – 7:00PM | ESPN2
- Oklahoma State at Texas Tech – 7:00PM | ESPNU
- Marquette at Villanova – 9:00PM | FS1
- Auburn at Georgia – 9:00PM | ESPNU
- Texas at Baylor – 9:00PM | ESPN2
Good luck with all that. Canada’s got it’s own problems. Never mind the politics, Justin – strengthen the dollar. I WANT TO VACATION IN AMERICA!
Now I’m in Zurich. I feel like I should be pulling a diamond heist.
Yes, I realize I appear to be traveling the wrong way.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDY1z6ezqO4
LOL I love that scene.
Greetings from the airport in Porto. I’ll be home in 18 hours or so, which is coincidentally the same amount of time between Robert Kraft’s handie appointments.
That was funny.
I did not need to know that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNbOr0ylYZk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAxPLSvvbXY
“Manziel was due a $75,000 bonus March 1 and scheduled to earn a $202,000 base salary in 2019.”
That much for Manziel? With that kind of spending on an unnecessary good, you’d think Quebec Premier François Legault was running the team.
CAD?
If you know who this girl is….?
THEN YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHO4j32IF-Q
I have no idea who that is, but she seems friendly. What’s her name?
Lexi Belle.
She might have done some porn.
But she does like weed, so at least there’s that.
She’s hot, likes to bang and chill out? Sounds like someone you could have a great time with before it gets way too intense and then ends horribly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWsSSJ5skx4
Holy shit. I just did a spit take.
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
What a hilarious, yet sad tweet
it really is a criminally run organization
I’m impressed even Rapoport used Redacteds!
She’s very pretty.
And would probably stab me in the neck.
They all do.
Yeah, but so would we.
Tough but fair.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXcrEVFZOXs
Shit, man, it’s worse than I thought. You’re listening to Switchfoot.
PUT ON SOME BOSTON AND RAWK.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8QYxmpuyxg
Never mind. Go back to Swtichfoot.
I mean, I try. WAIT I TRY IS BY MACY GRAY DO THAT.
Oh I love that one.
But I won’t. Here have this instead….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBI6FYRGxdY
Sorry, but
Dude.
Hehehehe
Colorado is cementing their playoff spot against the Canucks tonight.
It’s spelled with an “s” unless we’re talking about different things.
Wife picked up a sixer of Sculpin at Costco tonight. Viva life!
life is better when you can’t remember it
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT YOU HANDSOME MOTHERFUCKER
LOL
My sleep schedule is severely fucked up.
I just woke up.
Good morning starshine
The Earth says “Hello”
Hey man, everything good?
No. Nothing is good.
Sorry I haven’t answered your email yet.
Life is fucked.
Shit man, I’m sorry. I won’t pry, but reach out when you feel like talking brother.
No, you’re all good. I really wanted to pass by your way while I was in FLA but things got so messed up.
I’ll email you in a few and explain.
No problem man. Whenever you feel like it.
Hey man. Smoke a j and let us know backstage or whatever if you need anything.
LOL. I will have no access to a J until June when I’m in California again.
But my reservations are made. And you better not duck me this time.
I am there. Glad you are too. WE GON DRANK.
I’ll warn you ahead of time…
I’m a hugger.
Just ignore that thing against your leg.
It’s probably not my penis.
It’s cool, I got black friends.
Oh, “hugger” sorry…That’s cool, I’m a fingerblaster.
Naggers
The subtitle suggests at least some nudity. Nope! ?
The film, pretty good. Joe’s natural charm, otherworldly.
There’s a great scene where a New York cop says they saw Namath stagger out of a Manhattan penthouse apartment building on a Sunday morning game day, at 7 AM, hammered, with two chicks holding him up and helping him into a town car. So the cop and his buddies went and placed big bets on whoever the Jets were playing that day. Namath won the game.
Since many crotches are now routinely depilated these days, isn’t the “beaver” term somewhat anachronistic anymore? It’s really a shame, working on waxed floors always makes me feel a bit like a pedophile. I like a sense of mystery down yonder, prefer a bush like a crow’s nest any day.
Joe Namath has been my hero ever since he delivered the SB III win he guaranteed back in ’69. I really hated the Colts and that buck toothed crew cut Unitas guy, even though he didn’t start that game.
Like they say, if they’s grass in the field…ewwwww, gross, SO OLD! – Marc T., Parts Unknown
I always thought the term beaver came from how women use their vaginas to tamp down mud which keeps logs in place to hold water back.
Do I have that wrong?
Maybe that was in Olde English, like Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales.
Yes, the tales were from the fishwife, the beaver, the semenboy, etc.
TRUE HIPPO FACTS: My favourite local coffee shop is named Chanticleer
Two goals in 6 minutes, and my boys are level with 25-ish to play.
/NAWT DED YET
Now 2-3 to the good, and I am reminded of the good part of compulsion.
#HAILGAMBLOR
2-4, must have been one hell of a team talk at halftime
4 goals in 20 minutes!
What is the most viscerally disturbing book y’all have read?
I will start the competition with The Death of Sweet Mister by Daniel Woodrell
/Woodrell also needs to be writing MOAR booky-books
“Something Happened”. Woof. It made American Psycho feel like consumerist whimsy.
Do you mean the Something Happened by Joseph Heller? I must have read that 30 years ago and if I recall correctly, I just thought it sucked.
Yep. I read it while recuperating from an ACL operation while hopped up on Percos.
I stand by it being disturbing (to me), though it sagged often.
Cormac McCarthy “The Road.” Disturbing, depressing, whatever.
that’s my runner-up
That’s right up there.
Childhood division: Old Yeller.
WHAT THE FUCK, FIFTH GRADE TEACHER???
yeah, that’s MOAR 2nd grade level wen u think about it
Well, most of the kids were in 2nd grade. I are slow.
I read The Shining when I was 19 (this was well before the movie so I had no preconceived images) and I was reading one part about being in the hedge maze yet the hedges were moving and shifting places (this is not in the movie). It sounds goofy but when I read this part on a sunny afternoon in Florida it scared the shit out of me. I was looking over my shoulder. It’s the way it is written; holy shit Stephen King knows how to press your buttons.
I have read every mentioned book.
That’s either impressive or I seek out disturbing things.
American Pastoral by Philip Roth.
How the fuck was that not interference on the Tampa GWG?
Shh, you don’t want the Ice Giants to get two points, one’s bad enough. #NotEnoughLosingforHughes
Good point.
Evening gentlemen.
Also, time to break this out again:
?itemid=4793275
Apparently T-Pain was the Masked Singer winner.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTK0kFXJjd0
Spam alert! What you think of this?
https://blogs.fangraphs.com/the-los-angeles-angels-might-move-to-long-beach/
That would make them the Los Angeles Angels of Long Beach… of Anaheim.
I believe that is the Los Angeles Angels of Aneheim at Long Beach.
The Los Angeles Angels = “The The Angels Angels”
Not a chance for many reasons, but Arte wants leverage when negotiating with Anaheim.
Fans not living in Long Beach would have to leave about 3 hours ahead of game time.
Also, getting to Long Beach from ANYWHERE is not easy. Everything funnels to the 710.
yeah, sounds like the Fightin’ Tomsulas playing in Santa Clara, but even stupider for 81 games as opposed to 8 (almost all on Sundays)
Also, the Doyers can block anything closer than Anaheim…although the LB coastal area might be a similar distance? Anyway, not sure the ground could handle a stadium anyway. “The Incredible Sinking Angels!”
This being hilarious on multiple levels. I would love a subterranean el beisbol pitch, and the Angels couldn’t compete with Los Doyers if (i) their stadium was also in Chavez Ravine; and (ii) admission was free.
Granted I’ve only done the LA (Studio City) to Long Beach drive once, that seems like a hell of a drive for a three hour baseball game, seems excessive.
LD Alajuelense is fucking me over SO VERY HARD, y’all. It’s almost like betting on Costa Rican Lesser Footy is a bad idea or sommet.
/fuck you, YOU have a problem
I can’t say shit because I dropped money on 2nd division Argentinian footy.
Wife is going to Costa Rica (business – she imports cocaine and various other illegal stuff like monkeys and whatnot) next month, so I’ll have her scout some games.
Much appreciate! Also a cocaine-serving monkey butler makes a GREAT Xmas gift…
Pray. For. Mojo.
Cohen claimed in his testimony that trump never wanted to win and called his candidacy the biggest infomercial of all time. I guess we know what happened to [redacted] Bimmons.
Cohen: I have talked with Trump numerous times and have known him for over 10 yrs. He didn’t want to win
Rep House Member: I don’t believe you, we talked on the phone a couple of times and he told me he knew he was going to win!
“And he said he wasn’t lying, so you know he was telling the truth.”
AOC’s direct, strong cross examination makes me think we should elect MOAR bartenders to Congress. And surely Sam Malone would have been a better Presidential candidate than Dukakis or Kerry.
Vote for Litre!
Uh sir? The polls are in and if we want to have a chance it looks like we’re gonna have to change it to Quart_Cola, or at the very least Liter_Cola.
His first proposed piece of legislation will be adding the superfluous “u” eh?
Supeurfluous?
“There’s no “u” in me but can I put a me in you? ”
/We’d only need $130,000 x 350 million for the hush payments
Bush Sr did choose Woody as his VP
I feel like Woody coulda spelled potato.
And wouldn’t of picked a fight with a fictional character like Murphy Brown
Christ on a cracker. GOP Veeps went from Idiot to Evil to Closet-Case Traitor.
Next one’s gonna be Ted Nugent.
There’s not gonna be another VP, because there isn’t gonna be another presidential election after martial law is declared following Dear Leader’s return from Hanoi. “Got some good pointers from my buddy Kim.”
May as well toss a pedophile in there too.
No need to vacation in the US, Beerguyrob. Just visit one of the fine three or four vacation spots in Canadia.
There’s Vancouver, which is pleasant, or Lake Louise, which is pleasant, or Toronto, which is pleasant…
(sorry, that was unnecessary,,,been cranky ever since we elected a simp)
Come visit Wakezilla and I! Just don’t do it right now, it is cold and shitty.
I was in V-Cou (that’s what cool kids say, right?) about 2.5 years ago. Where the hell were you?
We are 2 hours from Lake Louise! aka Calgary.
Ah, ok. I can never visit Alberta because of her appearance in that one movie where the kid fucks his mother. It was called Spanking The Monkey. I guess what I’m saying is I watched a movie that was supposed to be “quirky indie” and the teenage boy ends up fucking his mother and she’s played by Alberta Watson so
I guess I just wanted to get that out of my system. Sorry.
HE got it out of his system!
And by it, I mean sperm.
I was away that day. Sorry.
Montreal, however, is just dirty and unpleasant. Drive fast through there on the only road.
But they have gamboling so that’s good.
One cannot speed on Montreal roads as the potholes will destroy ones vehicle at high rate of travel
Toronto is not pleasant
/ lives just outside of it
But the Kids in the Hall presented it so well. Did something happen to the Toronto Kid?
He morphed into Rob Ford.
Anyplace that gave the world Geddy must be kinda pleasant.
Can’t say “cheat cheat” without saying “chuh chuh”
Every tim I still get a little excited when I see Pierre Magquire described as “in the glass.” Then I realize it’s just a metaphor type thing and he’s not actually subsumed by molten hot liquid sand, and I lose a little more of what’s left of me.
What in my purchase history would make Live Nation think that I would want to go see Ali Wong?
?cb=06a7372a5fcd12201209758fb8805ab0
Unless, frighteningly, they have access to my Pornhub history. DAMN YOU, ZUCKERBERG!
Well that answers the age old question: dazzle camo clothing doesn’t work.
/chooses “Asian”
//adds “pregnant”
///adds “glasses”
////adds “little police car”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLliP3Ypw4g
Johnny Football broke an unstated rule that was written in French.
Surrender all?
He probably ordered poutine with ketchup instead of gravy.
Ne fais pas la douche.
Ok, I wanted that to be “Do not be a douche” in French, but because “douche” is already a French word, it translates to “Do not shower.”
I am a fucking moron.
It’s French, so both work!
The Netflix wants me watch The Bojack Horseman so, so bad.
Are revenue dollars attached to that suggestion? How could we possibly know?
Gets recommended to me all the time too but I just figured that’s cause they have access to my porn search history.
Do you feel like watching odd cartoons about a manic depressive horse with a bunch of filler awkward humor based episodes? Then GIVE BOJACK A SHOT!!
Depends how big the “filler” is if you know what I mean.
It’s hilarious, especially if one likes marinating in one’s own crippling depression.
/my on-going New Year’s Resolution goals
Books read: 10
Weight Lost: 8lbs.
Yoga?-“I’ll do another session tomorrow, I promise!”
Nice progress!
Oh look, the Lightning are playing their AHL team.
Also… HardBall is so much better without Chris Matthews
Wait were we not supposed to be masturbating while AOC was talking? fuck guys I know I have been away a whole but come on drop a guy a memo in the email or tweets!