Your “Extremely Abbreviated” Friday Evening Open Thread

Fair warning:  You’re not getting much out of me tonight.

We’ve been dealing with hurricane stuff around here.

I drove down in the middle of it overnight last night to get a friend’s daughter to safety.

(I know what you’re thinking)

((don’t say it please))

In today’s version of “That was unexpected”….

Both the former tWLS and Asia reached out to me to find out if the hurricane had killt me.  Now granted, I don’t know for sure which answer they would have preferred.  But it was nice to know they were thinking of me, even if they just wanted me ded.

But sorry girls, it ain’t got me yet.

(I am totally joking, both seemed very concerned and were very nice)

Then after Dave and myself went driving through a hurricane last night, I came home and slept a lot.  Then woke up 15 minutes ago and realized I still had to write some stupid shit for you asshats.  So, here we go.

Sports To Blow You Away 2Nite

Tennis

  • 2019 US Open: Men’s Semis (hehehe) – All night but no idea who is playing – TV: ESPN

MLB

  • NYY @ Boston – 7:00pmEDT – TV: MLBN (regional split)
  • Toronto @ Tampa Bay – 7:00pmEDT – TV: MLBN (regional split)

NCAA Football

  • Wake Forest @ Rice – 8:00pmEDT – TV:CBSSN
  • Marshall @ Boise State – 9:00pmEDT – TV: ESPN2

Orrrrrr….you can watch a rerun of last night’s Packers/Bears game on NFLN

(to each his own)

Evacuation: You’re doing it wrong.

OK, Let’s Blow Through Some Cheerleaders (so to speak)

Last week we did college girls.  Hehehehe

This week, it’s the pros.

Enjoy….

 

 

And still, for three years now, still the best NFL Cheerleader in EVAR!!!!!!!!

(yes we like her)

She’s Yummy.  And if you disagree, I’ll fight ya.

(After I wake up)

Have a nice weekend everyone.

Love ya’s.

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

LUSTS IN MEXICAN

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Beerguyrob

She’s purty.

Unsurprised

Am I about to watch the Yanet Garcia movie just to see if there are any gifs worth making?

Yes, I am, Other Unsurprised.

(I need a life.)

Unsurprised

4:14. Yep.

Beerguyrob
Unsurprised

There’s a documentary about DS9? Weird.

Unsurprised

Duuuude. Once Upon A Time In Hollywood is so good.

bk109

Welp, this sucks… I got me the first ticket (to be fair, I was speeding a tiny bit so mea culpa) in 11 years thanks to the always awesome Gardai, so here’s an apt song from me, mwahaha(ish?)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AL8chWFuM-s

yeah right

And one from the West Coast.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMnaa__JZbU

yeah right

Our next request comes from a Mr. BFC in Culver City.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNLXmZpHn88

BrettFavresColonoscopy

First quarter of GWS-Western in the books. Some thoughts:

Spoiler

Man this game is more physical than I expected
Scoring efficiency remains a major issue. This isn’t Penn State, minor scores won’t make the valley happy.
Toby Greene in the ruck? Ok.
Nick Haynes and Jeremy Finlayson don’t look 100%, but there might be enough talent for that not to stop GWS
I can’t stay up for much more of this game.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I said the first quarter was physical…and then three different players came off the field bleeding within the first two minutes of the second quarter.

yeah right

Yeah, that’s perfect. One of the most goth songs ever was prefaced by a Reese’s Peanutbutter Cup viddy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWZFa7W-kkY

yeah right

“Got a music or a food request? Send it along! Our outsourced phone answewrer will be only too glad to take your improvements.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LL_U5GSUBpw

yeah right
Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Speaking of high towers and Texas heroes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlBuoBV-Sa0

Brick Meathook

SPOILER: Charles Whitman was finally killed by Austin police officer Houston McCoy. The only way that name could be more Texan is if he was called Houston “Tex” McCoy.

yeah right

Who later died as a backup quarterback to the Washington [redacteds]

yeah right

“KDFO Radio play on. This one goes out to a Senor Balls in Pasadena California.

KDFO for when the rest of the stations play shit.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4Z3yhbGFGE

yeah right

“KDFO Request Line, we’ve got a caller from Daggett California who says he’s finally found his one true love in the Three C’s Tavern. I wish him nothing but the best.”

{ warning: long intro}

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHclFboVd5E

yeah right
scotchnaut

So tired of this Stalin book. There’s an anecdote about an aircraft engineer that was blamed for planes crashing. He stood his ground, told his higher-ups what the real issue was but ended up being arrested and beaten regularly. After some time it’s discovered that the engineer is correct and he is released.

Stalin introduces him to his new boss, who happens to be Lavrent Beria, the guy that tortured him! Stalin’s comment is along the lines of, “I believe you two have met before”. Surreal.

yeah right

It’s a book on Stalin.

There’s no happy ending.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Why not?”

–Robert K., Foxboro

Unsurprised

Well, Stalin does die.

yeah right

Hey there folks!

It’s Goth Friday!

Reallyy…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-RVJyNpfDk

Fuck it!

What’s up motherfuckers?!?

scotchnaut

I love this tune. I should have dropped my girlie at the time and went out with her friend that introduced me to this. We had so much more in common with each other. The friend ended up as an architect and the girlie fucked her way right to the top of a small tech company.

/The End

yeah right

Goth don’t lie

yeah right

Every time I think about visiting Coastal Carolina you talk me out of it.

I’m beginning to think this relationship is going nowhere!

WCS

Holy crap, Rocko’s Modern Life is fucking deranged. How was this show marketed for children?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

In contrast to Ren and Stimpy?

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Cut it off.

WCS

— Lorena Bobbit

BrettFavresColonoscopy

There’s a party on the (tiny) roofdeck of our apartment tonight. When can I be cranky and tell them to shut up?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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After your burrito.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Mine is bad; you have a hard time getting cranky after a delicious burrito.

Mr. Ayo

After you’ve gone up and drank all their liquor?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why can’t we hibernate? Why is that just for bears and the Bears’ offense?

King Hippo

Very few days where I don’t regret getting out of bed in the morning.

/no Lesser Footy tomorrow, watch my asshole brain wake me up anyway

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

ah do needs a haircut

/will be my 9/11 present to myself

scotchnaut

No footy? International play though?

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes, but not until noon.

Mr. Ayo

Central time?

scotchnaut

England/Bulgaria seems to be the best of a lousy slate.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

Hippo, would you play Ridley vs. Minny, Kirk vs. Lions or Sutton vs. Raiders?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If Julio is really messed up, Ridley for all the marbles

King Hippo

I benched Ridley in DFO ball (though I keep going back and forth between Sterling Shepard and Michael Gallup. Think I may lean Sutton here.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

From the inbox:

No players on Bleached Assholes are listed on the week 1 NFL injury report.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

which is tWBS in this festive GIF?

ArmedandHammered

The one the girls aren’t fighting over?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

Dude by the name of Hightower runs it in for Boise.

“This score is dedicated to my hero Charles Whitman. One day I hope to score as much as he did.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

She caught you looking but she ain’t care. Also, Hightower, Charles Whitman? Bueller? Smoot-Hawley Tariff? Anyone?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No, your are on a ship in rough sees…..

scotchnaut

Those are at least DD’s and they are very smooth.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

….Your sees.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Horatio Cornblower

Having second thoughts about my betting strategy on this fight, as the overweight guy seems determined to exhaust the other guy by stopping all his punches with his forehead.

Also the guy who made weight is Cuban. Probably should have looked into that before making my imaginary bet.

Dunstan

Doesn’t the other guy have to waive the weigh-in rule?

If so, wouldn’t you put your money on the guy who’s either confident enough or money-hungry enough to say “fuck it, bring on fatty.”

Horatio Cornblower

Cuban just won by 2nd round TKO.

And for the record I would never bet on boxing. You might as well put your money on a pro wrestling match for all the credibility boxing has.

“Ric Flair won again!? Welp, I’ll just double down next time; Flair’s gotta lose sometime!”

Dunstan

Like the Washington Generals. They’re due!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

always bet on the black(er) guy

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Boise scores with uptempo offense. It’s like the opposite what the Bears did last night.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Drinking one of these courtesy of the gracious Makeitsnow.
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Really good, but so rich that it becomes almost too much. A great dessert beer, but probably the only one of the night as it’s wrecked the tastebuds for anything else.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Weldwerks is fantastic

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

if the next scene isn’t a jump cut to a plane landing on an airstrip labeled “Panama” I will be sorely disappointed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Probably yelling at Charlie Sheen to get off her lawn before she calls the cops on him for violating another restraining order.

scotchnaut

He can’t hear anything-he’s stuffed chipmunks in each ear.

Unsurprised

You’re high

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Watching a boxing match. Think I’ll put my money on the guy that missed the weigh-in limit by 4.6 lbs. He clearly didn’t exhaust himself trying to satisfy technicalities like “legal weight limits” and shit like that.

Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

We get the local Worcester MA public access channel for some reason, and they’re running highlights from their 10 college football team

Ana Maria v. Becker. Finally found a game Hippo didn’t put money on.

ArmedandHammered

You sure about that?

Horatio Cornblower

Not even a little bit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ArmedandHammered

Lick it Up by Kiss should be playing in the background.

Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

Stupid puppy