Your “Obvious Point Is Obvious” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Before I begin – a big shoutout to Horatio for helping work up ESPN blowhard Darren Rovell on the Twitter.

That’s good enmity.

NFL News:

  • Jon Gruden has opinions about the injustice of Vontaze Burfict’s season-ending suspension:
    • “I’m not happy about it — at all. I don’t want to say anything else, I’m obviously upset about it.”
    • This latest suspension (his fourth) is Burfict’s 15th bout of league discipline in his eight years in the league.
      • According to ESPN, Burfict has led the NFL with 23 personal fouls and 15 flags for unnecessary roughness since entering the league in 2012.
  • Feeling somewhat superior about his own team’s headshot is Bill Belichick, who probably thinks the league should buy Jonathan Jones flowers for not killing Josh Allen. 
    • “Allen’s a big runner, he’s a strong guy, he’s hard to tackle. He certainly broke several tackles against us. Jon turned when he hit him, he didn’t lead with his head, he didn’t have that posture.”
    • A counter-argument is provided by the Bills’ Micah Hyde:
      • “If one of us had did that to [Brady], we wouldn’t have been in the game anymore.” Hyde said.
  • Mike Florio has observed that Todd Gurley is upset about his current role on the Rams.
    • In a statement that will surely improve media relations with the Rams, Florio says:

Clearly, he’s not the player he recently was. Whether it’s a knee that has an “arthritic component” or a conscious decision to de-emphasize his involvement in order to save him for later in the year, Gurley doesn’t like what’s going on.


Tonight’s sports:

It’s back, baby!

  • NHL:
    • Senators at Leafs – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Capitals at Blues – 8:00PM | NBCSN
    • Canucks at Oilers – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Sharks at Vegas  – 10:30PM | NBCSN
  • MLB:
    • AL Wildcard Playoff:
      • Rays at Athletics – 8:00PM | ESPN / Sportsnet1
  • NCAA:
    • Women’s College Volleyball:
      • Missouri at LSU – 7:00PM | ESPNU
      • Texas at TCU – 9:00PM | ESPNU
  • Wrestling:
    • AEW – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN2
    • NXT – 8:00PM | USA
  • 2019 Rugby World Cup:
    • Georgia vs. Fiji – 1:15AM | NBCSN / TSN
    • Ireland vs. Russia – 6:15AM | NBCSN / TSN

Be thankful, dear friends, for the Lord has rewarded us with sports every night of the week, from now until the Superb Owl.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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yeah right

Well this is indeed an unusual time of the week to be here but I’m really happy right now and filled with music.

Fuck yes. Hollywood Bowl!

Fuck yes these guys.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bccKotFwzoY

Unsurprised

Just fucking kill me now.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Here’s something I got wormholed to find. I actually bought these guys album back 50 years ago. Haven’t checked what it’s worth on eBay. Probably 3 or 4 bucks anyway.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yesyhQkYrQM

But this was my favorite song from that album. Kind of pre-configured Oingo Boingo’s Only a Lad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ohq4Z8WNge4

Unsurprised

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Viva La Tabula Raza

this is something i did not know existed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2Vv9sB2aMg

WCS
Viva La Tabula Raza

So, Tom Petty played an old song (I love listening to his show on the previously mentioned app, it makes me feel like the fucker is still alive) by the Guess Who, a band that figured prominently in my youthful music fandom. Randy Bachmann could play awesome riff, and Burton Cummings (I know, right?) has such a phenomenal voice. I had all their singles on 45 as a pre-teen/early adolescent. Best Of The Guess Who is just a great album. So, now I’m on a youtube Guess Who channel and time travelling back to the early 70s and thinking about the time Mary Hood gave me my first handjob behind the shrubbery at one of the temporary trailers that served as classrooms at the Karamursel Common Defense Installation DoD School, next to the Teen Club (3 ping-pong tables, 3 bumper pool tables, 2 foosball tables, 1 full size pool table, a snack bar, and a convenient getaway spot out by the school trailers for making out with similarly hormone-charged teen girls, like the crazed adolescent that I was).

So, was I triggered by the Guess Who song? Guess so.

Unsurprised

The Guess Who have the courage to be drunken buffoons, and that makes them poetic!

PSH is so awesome in Almost Famous (“Untitled” edition).

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, if the A’s pull a comeback on the Rays, I ain’t gonna see it; transferring my phone over to Tom Petty Buried Treasure on the Sirius XM app for accompaniment whilst I hang here and read up on The Reckoning by Halberstam. Those sneaky Japanese shits!

Senor Weaselo

I feel like I should be making fun of Billy Beane’s squad doing jack shit but I did that to the Nats yesterday and then they managed to come back.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Considering that I’m watching the past two Stanley Cup champs in this game, I’m still confident on saying….

Both of these teams have sucked tonight.

Sharkbait

Sup

*raises glass*

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Hello granddaughter-in-law of a plumber
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theeWeeBabySeamus

I do have a pipe that needs some work.
Giggity.

Unsurprised

“Girl”

Thanks, Google.

Unsurprised

Who is she? Why did she take a bath in bronzer?

Gratliff

Brandi Rhodes. Former WWE announcer type, married to Cody Rhodes, and does wrestling things here and there.

Unsurprised

She’s pretty

clint greasewood

Don’t know if it has been mentioned yet but the Diego Maradona documentary on HBO might be the greatest sport bio doc ever. Diego Maradona can best be describe if you put both Michael Jordan’s and Dennis Rodman’s life and career in a 5’5 Argentine man.

litre_cola

Don T was saying that. He said it was great not a lot of sit down stuff but was something something spanish, I think it meant really good.

Mr. Ayo

DVR’d it. I’ve heard so many great things about it.

Unsurprised

He got so deep in gambling debt with the mob he got Kim Jong Un whacked by Madonna?

Wakezilla

More like Jordan’s and Ric Flair’s careers. (I think Maradona owned a brothel in Napoli at one point

theeWeeBabySeamus

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herodotus450

Both the Jets and the Sharks and NHL teams, ppl forget that

rockingdog

found a funny:
Cute girl at CVS: can I help you find anything?
Me, 45 minutes into search for butthole cream: no, I’m good

Viva La Tabula Raza

Just buy some Vicks Vaporub or Ben Gay.

King Hippo

Everyone ready for maximum #BFIB tomorrow? WOOOOOOO!!!!!!

litre_cola

RAMMIT V HEAUX is better Hippo, if it was Jets v Clots you might have me.

Unsurprised

Fuck everything.

Unsurprised

.

Viva La Tabula Raza

As TX resident, heartily concur with your final sentiment there.

I figure she should have got at least 50, because that’s probably about how many years of his life she stole from him. I don’t use this word often except when I’m chatting with Brits, but fuck that cunt.

Edit: WTF happened to the comment I responded to? That’s weird.

Unsurprised

I deleted it.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, I ain’t deleting mine…

King Hippo

Just saw last week’s It’s Always Sunny. So, so good.

He had me at gash, Charlie. He had me at gash.

ballsofsteelandfury

HOLY SHITBALLS, KIDS!! TEMPTATION ISLAND IS BACK!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

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ballsofsteelandfury

YOU KNOW YOU LOVE IT!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Never watched it. I only know it vicariously through you, unfortunately.
I even change the channel when the commercial for it comes on.

Unsurprised

KIDS TEMPTATION ISLAND! I THOUGHT THEY SHUT THAT PLACE DOWN!

— B. Clinton, Chappaqua, N.Y.

Gratliff

What I’ve seen of AEW’s TNT show has been good so far with the extreme exception being Skinny Kevin Smith and Old Jason Mewes. Kevin Smith was never meant to be under 250.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Trump’s behavior these last couple days reminds me of when Science Officer Ash flipped out in that one scene in the original Alien. (about 1:45 in, couldn’t find a shorter version)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75MGd3ri_3w

Unsurprised

He didn’t flip out. He was programmed that way.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Are you referring to Science Officer Ash or President Trump?

litre_cola

Marlins Man needs to fuck off far away.

Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s a lovely….ummmmm….bracelet.

Unsurprised

What bracelet?

Gratliff

Can not overstate how much I enjoy the Lucha Bros
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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Breaking news: Stephen Gostkowski done for the season. Can’t wait for Cody Parkey to hit a game-winning 43 yarder against the Bears

I just hope they can get a replacement that can make an extra point on occasion.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How dare you

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

ATTENTION BITCHES: it’s Fat Bear Week* at Katmai National Park! Go to facebook and vote!

*actual bears. Not Bearistocrats linemen or anything in the Scott Thompson line.

WCS

What about Bears quarterbacks?

Unsurprised

That’s Fat Titty Week

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Gratliff

Tony Schiavone is on my TV in 2019 and I’m not overly fond of it

Gratliff

That being said, PENTAGON JR AND REY FENIX ON TNT
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Unsurprised

Needs to be httpS

Unsurprised

That’s pretty impressive. It doesn’t even look like either pushes off to make that flip.

Unsurprised

Wanderlust

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King Hippo

Your annual reminder that Jessica Mendoza – without ARod bitching things up – is a pretty capable announcer.

herodotus450

MENDOZA!!!!!!!!!!!

Unsurprised
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She has a nice pussy too.

I, of course, mean that in the most professional, non-offensive, gender neutral way.

herodotus450

If Toronto were a real fanbase, they’d have already written a “Rhyme of the Ancient Marner” by now instead of having me come up with it first.

Redshirt

Florida Man as always is trying to make the world a better place.

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/2019-10-02-florida-man-cutting-brake-lines.html

Viva La Tabula Raza

Just trying to liven up folks’ morning commute is all.

WCS

Internet Dad is downing an entire bottle of tequila and chasing that with a 24-pack of Budweiser watching this banner raising.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=355Fk8drgZE

King Hippo

Ice #BFIB!! Fredbird abides.

Viva La Tabula Raza

When I was 16 I bought this album based solely upon the strength of the first line of this song. Truly a killer album.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1E2MyRsApm0

Redshirt

I grew up reading the Birds of Prey comics and I’m a huge fan of Cassandra Cain. So of course, I’ve seen the trailer of “Birds of Prey”, and while I still have my reservations, I’m trying to keep an open mind.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cqon0nVWA4A&t=1m15s

Unsurprised

It seemed to be missing something. Like, say, everyone other than Harley.

Redshirt

No, they were there. Only in split second flashes.

That’s exactly what “Birds of Prey” was. Oracle hogging every page with a panel or two of Black Canary and Huntress doing something.

Unsurprised

Fair enough. Margot Robbie is hot af, so the more the merrier.

litre_cola

I love that Rovell replied just to make sure he had the last word.

WCS

Got to support the #brand

King Hippo

Anyone who can afford $84 for a single, solo meal should have the good sense to not complain about anything, ever.

In short, I hope the bloodletting comes for him, and that well soon.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Says the gambler.

King Hippo

that’s to get me OUT of my mountain of crippling debt!

fuck you, YOU have a problem

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, Hippo is one in a million.

You too can learn the secrets of “Making Riches Through Sports Gamboling”

The entire CD set for a mere $199.99 (you will make that back after your first Jets game.)

Come to the buffet and seminar at the Best Western, Canadian Room, near 7th and Kennedy Street.

litre_cola

I thought that was where the furry ‘pile’ was going to be?

Viva La Tabula Raza

It can be more than one thing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It got shaved off the ticket at the last moment.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

At the risk of diluting my own submissions’ chances to win, quotables responses felt light this week. Don’t miss your chance to get the approval of blax*!

https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2019/10/01/2019-quotables-week-4-submissions/

*offer does not apply to Republicans

Redshirt

WELL FINE, THEN!! I DIDN’T WANT YOUR APPROVAL ANYWAY, DAD! I mean BLAX!!

ArmedandHammered

in the middle of week long migraine, unable to think of funny things

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Same as Scot Adams, but decades long aneurysm

scotchnaut

Herodotus450,

Your team is the Red Wings, correct?

herodotus450

Aye. They don’t play till Saturday, what’m I supposed to do until then?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Heroin?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Welp, I’m on another plane. And this one is having a/c issues so I’m melting. As soon as we can push back and take off, it’ll be better. Does that mean my fellow passengers will move with alacrity? No, they will continue to camp in the aisle until they’ve removed their fourth backup iPad charger from their suitcase.

SonOfSpam

I’m on the same plane and just ripped a cabbage fart. Lemme know when it reaches you.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh it reached me

Redshirt

(watching the news about Texas cop who shot a black man getting convicted)

Me: “I understand why everyone is chanting “Black Lives Matter”, but how do they know if she’s racist?”
TV: “The Defendant had text messages that read, ‘Not racist, but…'”
(turns TV off)
Me: “Thanks TV. That clears it all up!”

Game Time Decision

you TV talks to you?

Redshirt

After the third or fourth drink.

Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s not the only thing TVs can do.
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The 80s were a strange time.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“how do they know if she’s racist?”

I know you live in Ohio, and may not be familiar with Texas at all, so here’s a truism you can take to the bank:

All white Texas cops are racists. In fact even most of the black and brown cops are racists.

Redshirt

Its ironic that racism isn’t racist.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Too lazy and buzzed right now to do some clever paraphrase of Alanis Morrisette about racism instead of rain on your wedding day.

Redshirt

Isn’t that an unfortunate circumstance? Don’t you think?

herodotus450

Ottawa with the lead! Might be the only time all year, better savor it.

scotchnaut

You are a stinker. And you always will be!

Game Time Decision

it’s against the Leafs
Go Sens

SonOfSpam

Rovell couldn’t be more of a pud.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Had to google rovell because I’d never heard of him. No big loss, what a dick. Nice troll HC.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Not recognizing Rovell’s #brand is the ultimate insult.

blaxabbath

I call him Bill Deadwill.

Cuz he dead.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Legitimate interest among older St Louisans in organizing a trip to deface Bidwell’s grave

King Hippo

dude, Hippo always up for a grave pissing

Unsurprised

I’ll go for the lulz