Few things make me feel my age MOAR than counting the years between “Mellow Gold” (which every fuckhead, yours included, owned) and his recent career renaissance.  This is his latest earworm, which I like very much:

And with waaaayyyyy too many JV NFL sides picking up on the SEC “play a cupcake before season finale” – it is very much an unfortunately timed, uneventful slate.  Thank fuck the international break is over.

Of course, the Lesser world is a-titter about Spurs trading their best manager in EVAR for washed-up, mega-douche Jose Mourinho.  Will they even get the short-term “new manager bump?”  A decent early test, away to West Ham to start our weekend (7:30, NBCSN).  Maybe I won’t wake up in time for the excellent pre-game, but I want in on the action itself.

I am not surprised that my beloved Toffees don’t get teevee coverage, but home to Norwich (wow, did their early spark ever fade fast) leads off the 10:00 window (NBC Gold).  It’s a must-win for the embattled Marco Silva, but he also needs to work harder at integrating Moise Kean into the attack.  Our long-term project can’t easily take Kean getting unsettled.

Saints/Arsenal (blech) is your NBCSN offering, with Wolves away to yeah right’s Cherries the best of the rest of Gold/streaming options.

Downright proper spotlight dance this week, as the Battle for Second Position heats up with Chelsea invading the Etihad (12:30, NBC).  Pep seems like he might be a bit out of sorts with this edition of City, but no reign of terror/contention window lasts forever.  As everyone (especially me) is sick of hearing, Chelsea do feature a Murrican player.  But the main story remains that Frank Lampard is a cunt.

Team Knifey hosts Man United in the only Sunday offering (11:30, NBCSN).  It’s funny, now that the Mancs no longer need to pay off Daniel Levy for Pochettino’s services?  Word is filtering out that the board is content to play the long game with Ole.  Things sure change fast in this here sport.

Of the many other Euro-offerings, I might be most interested in Atalanta hosting Juve (9:00, ESPN News).  You don’t even need “+” for a change, so gve this’un a look-see.

Now, for that subpar JV spread…

Paedo State (+18.5) at tOhio State (Noon, Fox)

Hey, I’d like to enjoy the Paedos getting their teeth knocked in…but it just locks the tree nutz deeper into the playoffs.  Meh.

Illinois (+15.5) at Iowa (Noon, BTN)

It’s a crap window, and I will mostly watch City/Chelski.  But this is my upset special, with Team Cornpone SUPER vulnerable to a letdown after sinking Row teh Boat’s championship dreams last week.  Hobo Lovie Smith is a hilarious sideline watch, too.

Texas A&M (+13) at Georgia (3:30, CBS)

To my thinking, UGA has first claim on the 4th playoff slot, if they win out (including LSU for the conference title).  I have a hard time seeing the Dawgs pulling it off, though.  But they should breeze past Jimbo’s Aggies – though they already have an inexplicable “home loss to a moe-ron (Duschamp’s South Cakalaky)” on the ledger.

Michigan (-9.5) at Indiana (3:30, ESPN)

Holy cats, this makes THREE B1G fixtures I have highlighted.  I really don’t like this Timeline.  This would have been super interesting had the Hoosiers not lost their starting QB, but they still had a good showing away to the Paedos last week.  So, don’t rule out another Lesser Harbs embarrassment.

Texas (+5.5) at Baylor (3:30, FS1)

Oh, the Consent Abstinent can most definitely continue their plummet back to earth, after that devastating 2nd half collapse to Steerfuckers North.  Steerfuckers South come in with 6-4 leaving a nasty taste in their mouths.

Temple (+10) at Cincinnati (7:00, ESPN2)

With God as mah witness, this “I thought a turkey could fly” fixture is likely as competetive as you’ll get.

Oregon (-13) at Arizona State (7:30, ABC)

The wheels fell off the Herm Edwards bus fast (duh), but he gets a national spotlight tonight anyway.  Quack Attack needs to win out, including against Troy Boiz or more likely Team Secular Big Love for the Pac-12 title.  Then, they likely squeak into the playoffs.  This team bores the shit out of me.  GO UTES!

TCU (+18) at Oklahoma (8:00, Fox)

Bloodeyes have quite the giant-killer reputation, and are 100% catching Boomer Sooner at the right time.  Perhaps this gets a litttle interesting.

Tweaker Time!!!

Utah (-22.5) at Arizona (10:00, FS1)

This is who Hippo WANTS as that 4th playoff side.  Secular Big Love have an incredible defense, and an under-the-radar efficient offense.  They could really win the whole thing.  Desert FITBAW continues to struggle.

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Balls’ La Liga Minute

Actually,  there’s not much to discuss other than to mention that UCLA will win me an apple pie if it stays within 30 points of USC. Also, I’ve got a USC 2 and a UCLA 3 in a squares pool.

Wish me luck and tell me you’re counting on me!

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