“Over”? Did you say “over”? NOTHING is over until OUR CORPORATE OVERLORDS decide it is!
That’s right, friends, you have not yet escaped the clutches of the “holiday” season. Not just because there are seventy-one more nights of Hannukah (MORE SOCKS AND NOTEBOOKS!!!) or the run-up to Drinking Amateur Night. Nor even the fact that today is the start of Kwanzaa (You didn’t even know that, did you? Raycess). Not even because they Keep. Playing. Christmas. Music. Everywhere.
No, today marks the start of Regretsmas, the 14 day period dominated by disappointment, remorse and after-Christmas sales. That purple-and-green striped mohair sweater that Aunt Gladys bought you special in Italy? At least it’s the right size! You spent your first Christmas with your significant others’ family and now you’re questioning that marriage discussion you had at Thanksgiving? At least you’ll never have to discuss your former-future-mother-in-law’s psoriasis over her dried-out turkey again. Staring down another new year with little to show for it other than less hair on top of your head and more in your ears? HAPPY REGRETSMAS, BITCHES! JUST WAIT FOR THE MID-JANUARY “OH GOD IT’S SO GRAY” FESTIVAL!!!!
Thank Jeebus for Footbaw. This year, most of us are pretty happy or resigned to our football fates at this point (WOOO!). There are relatively few bubble teams, and I don’t think any honest fan of those teams would say theirs was robbed if they miss out. Pending, of course, the inevitable massively blown call in the Cowpersons game, regardless of who benefits. The rest of us get to watch the hobo fight that is the NFC LEast play out without any interest except enjoying the butthurt of the Dallas or Philly Fanbase. Or you can do multivariate calculus trying to figure out NFC seedings.
Tonight, we have…very little on the Sportsball front. Other Spurs play the Dallas Cubans at 7pm DFO Standard on TNT, followed by Trailblazers vs. Team Big Big Love at 9:30. There’s also the “Quick Lane Bowl”, “starring” Pitt and Eastern Michigan at 7 on ESPN.
Personally, I suggest you break out that Police Academy Boxed Set you got and go to town. Mission to Moscow is seriously underrated as a cinematic achievement
If more IPA’s were like Pliny the Elder I might not be so disdainful of them.
Then it would be boring.
LORD PALMERSTON! Wait, you said Pliny the Elder.
Damn Brits.
Sharky, that beer is pretty damn good, and I don’t even like coffee.
It quickly became a favorite this winter.
Siskel HAS SPOKEN!
Just got home from taking BeerMom to “Knives Out”. Those of a certain age will remember those Ustinov Poirot movies from the 1970’s. It’s like those – just a solid whodunnit with good laughs & twists.
If you have an older relative who wants to see a movie, this is perfect.
Yes, I’m old and enjoyed it; just good clean, well done fun. Also go if the mere site of Ana de Armas makes you “feel funny in your pants” go see it. It is good if you have a diverse group from the holiday that most will enjoy. Well, except for the MAGA crowd because Ana plays a damn immigrant (non-white).
“All right, all right, I see you’ve played Knives Out, Spoons Out before.”
Did teh Hippo bet Monterrey as I advised?
It’s a shame that the refs screwed E Michigan. It’s true. It’s true.
Pitt is neither rushing the passer, nor covering anyone.
This is about the craziest fucking I’ve seen in quite some time. Kind of a microcosm of today’s USA, in a way. Check it out if you can carve out the time…
https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B07HDXYC8L/ref=atv_dp_b01_det_c_UTPsmN_1_1
I shall do so in the am. Loving the Alan Furst books.
Glad to hear that you’re digging it, he just has the writing chops that appeal to me. I’ve bought his most recent release, but am holding off indulging myself during my convalescence. Can you cock-tease your own self?
never too late to try it!
Unrelated note: RIP, Stephen Furst
https://images.app.goo.gl/UGWL1p4JsMUnpKJT9
That’s really weird, a couple days ago I came up out of a nap having been dreaming about some specific scenes of his from Animal House.
I can’t believe that this is a bowl game. My God. I would ask how CFB fans do this year in and year out, and then I remembered that NFL fans have to deal with Browns-Bengals, Fins-Jets and Titans-Jags a minimum of six times a year.
and sheeeeeit, you wasn’t around for the festering turd BEFORE this comparatively sterling affair
Last day at my folks’ is easier after a few bourbons and half bottle of wine.
Family exists mostly to be endured. Which is why my interaction with all but my mom (who is pretty damned cool, despite all the crap that comes with being mothered) is sharply limited.
oh, and I guess my kids is mostly ok, just fucking nuts. But they got it from both streams of DNA, so can hardly blame them.
Full-team unsportsmanlike, hotdogging a pickerception against GODDAMNED EASTERN MICHIGAN. WHO IS BEATING YOU.
From The Athletic (and a reminder of just how shitty Adam Gase is):
How bad was that Vikings offensive performance Monday night against the Packers? Their 2.62 yards per play average was the third worst by any team in a game this season and the worst by any team not named the Jets.
Even though I got banned from DFO last week, I want to wish all of you a Merry Christmas, full of Christ’s love and redemption. This goes for each and every one of you, regardless of your creed or color.
This Jew accepts your savior’s love but not his redemption.
That’s some good Jew on Jew action there I tell you what.
For spanking? Bummer.
A cartoon of spanking. I blame no one.
But if you are banned how are you posting? And if you are posting how are you banned?
Am I drinking or drunk?
Anyway – xoxo.
Also, has the official DFO twitter been blocked by Ben Roethlisberger yet?
Evening peoples.
assuming whatever colour we might be, we keep on doin’ the Hump?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBsjggc5jHM
WHO YOU CALLIN’ PEOPLE?
WOMP WOMP
This is just sad, even by ACC standards.
But not by AOC standards.
I generally don’t delve this deeply into college football, mostly just pay attention to the top 25 and my alma mater. Who am I supposed to root for or against in this Pitt/EMU matchup, and why?
A culling of the bloated and pointless Bowl industry?
Why do people who work in phone store have to be such assholes? YOU WORK IN A FUCKING PHONE STORE!
Is it weird to find this erotic?
It would be weird if it wasn’t, mate.
#HOTeroticCTE
SUDDEN CHANGE TEH ACC COASTAL REPRESENTIN’….AT LEAST BRIEFLY.
just so long as Temple comes good tomorrow. Fightin Cosbies still MOAR acceptable than the Holes
Also, I’m considering putting some dough on Wake vs Sparty ATS.
Can’t decide.
I picked Wake in my pool
Leaving tomorrow. Tonight’s conversation with my mom reminds me why I always cut these trips short.
My niece hid my shoes. She didn’t want me to “go out”.
Imma have to smack her down.
But joke’s on her. I got moar shoes she doesn’t know about.
Damn it! I had to get a new phone and because I didn’t backup my data for a while, all my games went back to where I was a week ago.
Why doesn’t my life work that way? “We’re sorry, Mr. Redshirt, but you’ve suffered a severe virus that has corrupted your health. We can restore your health from the iCloud backup, but sadly you haven’t done it in a while. You’ll have to go back to 2002.”
God, could you imagine? FITBAW in SD.
On the bright side, I get to relive the 2003 Cincinnati Bengals season. That was like ambrosia compared to the 11 seasons before.
Oh, and I’ll know all the Super Bowl Champions for the last 17 years. But don’t worry, you all will have a Penthouse suite at the ready in Redshirt’s Pleasure Paradise Casino & Hotel in beautiful Cincinnati, Shawnee (after I blackmail, er bribe, er convince Bush 43 to secede the Tri-State Area from Ohio, Kentucky and Indiana. I’ll won’t be a complete monster.)
traded all my fru-fru office-related gift basket crap to my mom for 2 slices of homemade apple pie (from the family Xmas gathering that I skipped). Best trade EVAR.
TIL Hippo’s mom won’t just give away her pie.
For the last time, Moose. Quit following me when I’m trying to get a date!
I had Louisiana Tech right (having seen Miami play), but this result will kill my “confidence points” pool. I had Pitt at 40. 🙁
Pittsburgh shouldn’t be held in that high confidence for anything, other than unemployed gay still mill workers and not prosecuting rapists.
Happy Appy was highest at 41, and that was a damned uncomfortable Q1.
I just go back to…3-5 in the goddamned MAC. COME ON!!
Yeah, I woulda made Appy highest as well. Surprised they didn’t cover, but deep hole (in Appy-land, that’s a relative)
Considering I have relatives in the Boone area, I’m staying out of this one.
BALL WAS OUT!
(looking at myself in the mirror, zipper down)
DUMBLE!!!!
Happy Box Appreciation Day!
Currently sipping a Stone Ghost Hammer IPA. SPOOKY.
Geaux Eastern Michigan! At least hang around within 12!
EMU’s HC looks and sounds like Henry Rollins. They also have a WR named Arthur Jackson, who will be heretofore known as “Two Sheds” under this roof. Go Chippewas or some fucking thing.
The Chippewas are from Eastern Indiana. Eastern Michigan is the Manstrokers.
If you wait in the right place in the woods you can catc……… er, ah…. [cough]
College students gotta get beer money somehow.
No exchange in this scenario; those guys don’t hear no zipper….. then is it a reenactment of Deliverance.
Er, so I’ve heard in the legends.
It can’t be said enough – Trevor Lawrence looks like a lady. Not a particularly attractive lady, but a lady nonetheless. It’s WAY MOAR than just the hair.
5/10, I’d do ‘im.
I’m not sure what strip bars you’ve been going to, but stop.
Ah, come on! The guy saves a lot of money; just relax.
it’s…all pink on teh inside??
See also: Hopkins, Deandre
If you had a personal chef, what kind of cuisine would you prefer them to specialize in? I am actually thinking French would be the wisest choice.
Latvian. Because that’s the oddest fucking country I can think of.
Hold my mead.
– Tajikistan
Andorra would like a word.
Of course no one can hear them.
South American, easy.
Mediterranean. Make me enjoy eating healthy, Jacques!
That’s gotta be up there. In terms of best bang for buck in terms of eating healthy, I feel like a strong case can be made for Japanese.
Correct answer (first time) for Horatio.
Italian, because I am A) a glutton for punishment and B) going to live forever. I’ve decided on immortality and nothing will change that.
If she wore a French maid outfit……
Vietnamese. I have no idea why.
You can just Phở right the Phở off with that answer, MISTER!
THATS IT!!! It’s Pho! Haven’t had it in years since I moved to a small town, but when I had it, I had it a lot. It’s the broth. I must’ve forgotten it’s Vietnamese (I’m rather a dope).
This whole thread is Hanoi-ing.
Well, Phuoc Loc Tho!
Drove by EMU’s home stadium a couple years ago. Shit’s weird. It’s literally sitting in the middle of damn nowhere. Strange that a tiny school (compared to neighbouring UM) is still in bowl action. God bless red hot MACtion.
They were 3-5 in conference. Thinking even Pitt can’t fuck this up.
Ha! Pitt says hold my beer
Indeed, you are prophetic Gumby Damnit!!
Ypsilanti is 15 minutes from Ford Field. This would be a home game if Eastern Michigan had fans.
Ypsilanti is somehow more depressing than downtown Detroit. I don’t know how that’s a thing, but it is. Also weird when you consider than Ann Arbor is so lovely.
I dunno, she’s kind of a bitch.
Terry Bradshaw would be happy about Louisiana Tech, but, he locked himself inside his car and can’t get out.
You can’t tell if Terry was a fucking idiot before, or after, he played football and received a bushel of concussions.
YES
He gets a private jet to pick him up at his ranch in Oklahoma every Sunday and sleeps in his own bed every Sunday night via same. I should be that dumb.
I’m doing it wrong. Done it wrong for 51 years. Still, fuck him.
Four Superb Owls by being fortunate enough to be on a truly great team and have a stronger than shit, accurate arm. Also Fox is the one flying him around…. for his intellect.
It is both….
a non-weather Bowl game will finish 7-nil. GLORIOUS
except he doesn’t kneel after sliding the play before??
He had the over (13.1, like on those stupid bumper stickers).
Idiot runs out of bounds
Well, my boys fucking fucked up Xmas Eve at my inlaws by asking, “When can we go home.” A decent request on Xmas Eve since they wanted to go home and play with their gifts.
My wife, well she wigs out. Complete chaos, Italian angst, yelling. My father in law saying, “Take these kids home.”
A 20 minute ride with my wife melting down. quote of the evening:
“My mother said you had 4 bourbons! So don’t say a word because you’re numb!”
Thanks, mom. Really, thanks a fuckload. Jesus Christ on a pogo stick.
Then, to top off the fucking asswipe Xmas holidays, my wife’s aunt dies on Christmas Day around 6 pm.
FUCK YOU CHRISTMAS! EAT A BAG OF DOG SHIT!
So. How was Christmas Day?
The morning was great, my kids opened presents and od’ed on sugar. The afternoon was full of food and drinks, then we got the news that her aunt died. Then I fell asleep while she went to her parent’s house.
PLEASE no overtime
BLEERGHKAKKE!!!!
BLEERGH FEASTS LATE
somehow, this game just keeps getting shittier
It’s almost hypnotic
It would be hard to believe that there were 2 squadrons worse than LT and Da U, but I did just watch a full season of NC State.
“Hi!” -UConn Football.
The funny part is they keep sending me letters and emails trying to get me to renew season tix.
HOW STUPID DO THEY THINK I AM????
(it’s rhetorical please don’t answer that)
Independence Bowl trophy looks like Uncle Sam threw up on a now-irate eagle.
My sister gave her 5-year old a PUPPY for Xmas.
The family already has 3 dogs and 2 cats. Methinks my brother-in-law…has a few regrets. But he was old enough to know better than to marry a crazy person.
My sister bought her daughter a bunny. They bring it with them when they travel and they’re stopping at our house tomorrow on their way home and I will give you 3:1 odds that one of our cats is gonna eat it.
I hope so, they should know better than to bring a long-eared rat to someone else’s house!
That’s no way to talk about my nephew, sir.
Cassoulet is great in December
FITBAW makes everything ok. Well, ok-ish
I wholeheartedly agree with Police Academy being underrated, but we’ve introduced my parents to The Marvelous Mrs Maisel, so we’ll be working our way back through season one until we fly out tomorrow.
It lost me at the end of season 1. Wife got me back in for season 2
Michael Irvin wishes The U punted more during his college days so the blow he was doing would’ve had more time to kick in.