“C*ck Weasel” and Other Terms of Affection: Your Monday of Hate Week 2020 Open Thread

Brothers and sisters, I welcome you to DFO Hate Week 2020.

Hate Week is our annual pre-Super Bowl spiritual enema, casting out the residual toxins of the Season That Was and preparing ourselves for the new and exciting toxins to come.

Today, I present my List of Unpopular Opinions. Feel free to Hate in the comments below, but be aware you are Wrong.

1. Video review of pass interference calls was a overall a good thing. Not because of any actual wrongs righted- the application was spotty and slipshod, and the whole change was a ridiculous overreaction to an unprecedented failure of the referee system in last year’s playoffs.  But it was still good because the near-universal refusal to grant those challenges early in the season refocused us all on the actual standard for all replay review: “incontrovertible visual evidence.” For almost every call up until now, the standard became “whelp, I would have made a different call if I saw it in ultra-HD-slow-mo.” That’s why you get interminable reviews trying to determine if the laces on the football moved at all when the receiver hit the ground. That’s why you get coaches throwing the challenge flags on 60-40 calls. And those coaches got a rude fucking awakening when the NFL decided to (clumsily) apply the incontrovertible standard and deny somewhat arguable calls. It was at least a little glorious. Now, get rid of PI replay and apply the right standard, you corporate officiating puppets.

2. Josh Rosen will be an NFL starter in the next two years. The Chargers should be slamming the phones trying to get him back in LA, both from a marketing standpoint and because I think he could actually be middle-of-the-league if he had an offensive line.

3. Seinfeld was at best an overrated adequate show. It’s Absurdism for Beginners. It is the Bartles and Jaymes of post-fart-joke comedy: you liked it when you were a teen and just getting into it, but if you’re over 30 and still singing its praises, I’m judging your ass. The only credit I give it is acknowledging in the finale that every character is a terrible, terrible person.

4. Buffalo needs to trade Josh Allen and take Justin Herbert. And go back to the red helmets.

5. Joe Judge will end up being a better coach with the Giants than Matt Ruhle will be for the Panthers. This will switch when they each get their second head coaching gigs.

6. The league is better when Cleveland and the Jets suck irredeemably. Hell, the world is better.

7. Fuck Sinatra. He was a hack.

8. The XFL will make it through two full seasons. This is Vince McMahon’s last throw of the dice and he will throw money at it until it catches on or catches on fire.

9. Don’t sleep on Raheem Mostert for Super Bowl MVP. If Shanahan can bear not throwing it 50 times to prove what a genius he is, Mostert is the 49ers best defense against Mahomes.

10. Presentation in food is overrated. You may eat with your eyes first, but I’ve never said “I’m glad I ate that- it was bland but pretty.”

11. Video replay in general is Good. I don’t understand how you can enjoy a win by your team if you know it was the result of a blown call. Any insight, DonT?

12. Super Bowl Ads can eat a containership full of dicks. I don’t care if they are the only thing half the people at your party care about. Kill those people. Roast their bodies over an open firepit so you have sustenance in the fourth quarter after the cheese dip runs out.

Major sports tonight:

Let’s not kid ourselves.  Since NC State Fans is the only demographic on this site bigger than Attorneys, you fuckers are almost certainly going to watch UNC take on NC State in Junior Bouncy Football. I refuse to acknowledge the existence of college basketball until February 1. Get off my lawn.