Sometimes, old traditions can be made new again. If, for example, today were Friday & I posted this picture,
some of you would remember another website’s tradition of posting dog photos on a particular day. Well, with the world losing its goddamned mind nearly every hour of every day, I’ve decided that since the weekends are bereft of NFL content, I will revive certain aspects of that particular tradition for us to enjoy.
Kommenters & Kommentettes, I give you…St. Bernard Saturday!
A noble breed respected for it’s love of family,
the St. Bernard is an intense dog which requires much effort to train into becoming a valued, docile member of the family.
They cannot bear to be alone, and will always try to accompany you on what they perceive to be adventures.
But with patience, a St. Bernard can become a valued member of the greater family. Your efforts will be greatly rewarded.
Oh, who am I kidding – let’s look at some good doggies!
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And there’s always one that is just tired of all that shit.
Tonight’s … entertainment?:
- Turner Classic Movies:
- 6:00PM – Bullitt
- 8:00PM – Dial M for Murder
- The Movie Channel:
- 7:15PM – Shaft
- PBS:
- 8:00PM – The Great British Baking Show
- NBC:
- 11:30 – Saturday Night Live
- The JJ Watt episode
- 11:30 – Saturday Night Live
Okay, bye.
As far as those cunts who sold stock before all thsit when sideways. I want to split thei r guts open and keep the alive while wold dogs eat their guts. seioursly? when can you stop? when is it enough you foggdamn fuck shit assholes! i will fucky the whole in your throat when yoru larnyx was after i drilled it out with a corkswq. corkscre. FUCK. corkscrew.
I love me some bourble Fozz
This one I can understand and I’m in full support.
LONG LIVE LOBSTERDOG AND CORGI FRIDAY!
BRING BACK MATT!
The brown spicy liquid makes me feel… good.
I didn’t realize we had Jenkem fans here
I want to fight someone, anyone. I need to feel the curnch of boanes and ligament undneratmy fist. and feel the warm flow fo blood down my face as my skin fpslits open above my eeyborw.
comeone you fuckes osmeon efight me!
Bourble?
Not sure; I will have to put this through Google translations first.
You ain’t worth it.
I am worth it. Damn you!
Currently: mid-quarantine, an excuse to eat lots of pizza and beer
Later: post-quarantine, an excuse to eat lots of pizza and scotch
But why can I never seem to lose weight?
Try eating bats.
Done and done. Wait, in the mouth?
The Orgasmic Bat.
h
ttps://66.media.tumblr.com/ab74a1f7ad6c1349d4ee6e76345fbf6d/tumblr_nqm2wdUWS11srdg7so1_1280.gif
Oh, that’s the stuff!
This is one of the greatest photographs ever.
RumChata after running errands (picking up prescriptions for the wife, getting food since the kids are home for who knows how long). I’m feeling good now.
I need to buy me some Rumchata
With one person drinking the bottle, I don’t think it will last until morning.
Wait. Is it supposed to last until morning?
Does it, as the name implies, really taste like Horchata with rum?
Yes. But less rum flavor.
Empty seat at Poker!
Alright; who did Schotchy murder now?
Family friend of Horatio’s I gathered.
How do I play this? I’ve been stuck playing rando tourneys.
1) Go to pokerstars.com
2) Download the software and install
3) Open said software and register
4) Open Home Games on the bottom right
5) Select Join Club and enter club id 3210828
6) Enter password “National Disgrace”
7) Profit.
I have the app. Can I play with you all on the app? I don’t see Home Games on it.
It doesn’t work on mobile
Rando Tourneys is susceptible to a con game for sure.
david lee roth will save us
https://youtu.be/RgLWTrWgDTI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-6Ljyp3HuQ
I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but if this newfangled carburetorvirus preys on the old and weak and corpulent… and George RR Martin is old and lazy and fat, so…
Fortunately he told HBO how the story ends, so we’ll be in good hands even if there’s no books to base a season on
I kindve think, in my darkest moments, that it be more interesting if he didn’t finish. Then the speculation and edging would last forever. FOR. EV. ER.
He’s never going to finish that series.
He’s got one more wedding to go to.
Just did a Zoom conference with my family. Is there any chance we could do one with all of us? Thoughts? Fuckers?
Only for 40 minutes at a time!
I’ve been thinking of checking out Zoom but haven’t downloaded/used it yet.
We use Zoom chats at work and I have no interest in participating. Video chats are the worst. Everyone looks like shit due to bad lighting and crap lenses. And everyone sounds stupid. What the fuck you need a video chat when you got this?
Grump. I want to see someone else who doesn’t share my DNA. I remember when we were down at the docks, you and me, and Fast Eddie was saying, “Hey, you two don’t remember what the points were on this deal.” And then you drew you sword, and I ducked behind you as the lead flew. And your shoulder exlploed in a crimson cloud. I felt like we were bonded. Yeah, i stomped Eddie’s jaw off of his shoulder, and took you to Doc Manahanlingstein, and even then, I owed you. So you turn down a Zoom chat?
Damn, all I got at the docks was a painful blow job from the some three-toothed hobo who disappeared three days later.
I was making Salisbury Steak
Scotchy!
Tore down an old playset on my property, did some lawnwork, and asked Mrs. Fozz, “Okay now where’s the blow job?” And…nothing.
“At the docks”
I’m on my desktop computer, and I’d join the game if anybody could give me some cogent instructions in how to do so.
1) Go to pokerstars.com
2) Download the software and install
3) Open said software and register
4) Open Home Games on the bottom right
5) Select Join Club and enter club id 3210828
6) Enter password “National Disgrace”
7) Profit.
Wait, nevermind, we have a full table.
There’s now a seat open. Update your evening plans accordingly.
And wait until you get approved. Apparently, it takes about ten minutes for the approval to kick in.
Two seats left in the poker room if anyone is interested. Except Balls, he can’t get in.
Can someone approve me?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4D2qcbu26gs
Good song, great band. Sharky is there too. Takes about a half an hour.
Ok, thanks! I may be watching AFL by then.
So I’ve been streaming a lot of different things to try and make me forget about how fucked up everything is outside my door, I found these on amazon prime,
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walks_Around_Britain_(TV_series)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walking_Through_History
I’ve watched all of the second one and a couple of episodes of the first. Not blood-boilingly exciting, but rather very relaxing. Like a valium after all that cocaine.
You should check out the Railroads of Switzerland. The first episode has a host but the next three are made up of what appears to be B roll. There is no narration and only gorgeous scenery. It’s very soothing.
I’ll put that on my list. Thank you.
I also find that Wayne Carini Chasing Classic Cars is very soothing. Not sure about the availability though, costs $$ to view on Amazon Prim, but there are several seasons available on Motor Trend App, 6 bucks a month.
Hull, Lidstrom, Datsyuk, Robitaille, a single tear down my cheek
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Pur6u0H10Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiFDP9CplhY
Dat goalie on the first shot…
Paging Hippo and/or Sharkbait! I need help getting in to the Poker Club. My ID on PokerStars is BofSteel.
Hippo is in teh room. He does nae see you in pending
I didn’t even get the chance to apply. it says the Club ID and the Invitation Code don’t match.
The Club ID I’m using is: 32108283
The invitation code I’m using is: National Disgrace
According to PokerStars, I can get invited. My ID is: BofSteel
I should now be pending.
This is how you get the Corona virus, the clap, and pregnant. Practice escalator safety!
Escalators have their ups and downs.
THANKS I’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK BECAUSE WHERE THE FUCK ELSE CAN I GO
Mom?
Great-grandma was hot!
Anyone else got action on the Honduran Premier League tonight?
No, but we do have action in the poker room.
I said, I slipped!
Found a funny-
My quarantine routine:
7 AM: (wake me up)
8 AM: wake me up inside
9 AM: (I can’t wake up)
3 PM: wake me up inside
4 PM: (SAAAAVE ME)
5 PM: CALL MY NAME AND SAAAAVE ME FROM THE DARK
6 PM: Pesto pasta, again
Puppies!
Game is on in the poker room. 5 seats available, and we made Hippo promise to stop farting
You know he’s not going to though. Right?
Poker Club info, please?
PokerStars
Club #: 3210282
Password: National Disgrace
It’s not working for me. It’s asking for an invitation code?
3210828 is the correct number.
Sorry, not sorry
Ok, I’ve applied!
So I’m trying to come up with a soccer/golf game that my nephew can play with his friends while still maintaining social distance. Here’s what I’m working on:
Base rules:
– Every time you kick the ball counts as a stroke. You can take as many steps as you like running up to it (though this will be restricted in some holes).
– You may not touch another player or another player’s ball AT ANY TIME. Not with any part of your body, or with your ball. Violation is a two stroke penalty.
– You may not kick your ball while it is still moving, but you MAY chase it down and trap (stop) it.
– The highest score on the previous hole goes first. Players alternate turns.
Hole 1. Start at corner flag on one side of the field. The “hole” is the opposite post on the far side of the field. Standard play.
Hole 2: Start at corner flag and play to the opposite side of the field. The “hole” is the crossbar on the opposite goal. Once inside the penalty area, the player may juggle the ball and as long as the ball remains in the air it counts as a single stroke.
Hole 3: Start inside goal mouth and play to the mouth of the opposite goal. The penalty area on the far side is a hazard – if your ball touches the ground in this area it must be “dropped” on “solid ground” outside this area and played from there. This basically forces you to shoot on net in order to finish the hole.
Further ideas?
Take off an item of clothing after each hole.
These are teenage boys, Mr. Childress.
That should have been mentioned in the comment.
Still a good idea if they’re over 18 and have girls with them.
“Oh, sorry, I don’t want them then.” -J. Sandusky
Could set up cones in the field as obstacles/slalom type thing; force players to alternate which foot they use
I like that – thanks!
Take away the penalty if their ball hits another ball. Doesn’t count in golf, and always good for a cruel laugh at someone else’s expense.
His dad doesn’t even want that level of contact. It’s overkill in my opinion, but he’s not my kid so I’m working with it.
Before the game starts, they each get really high, each smoking his/her own individual joint. Then they just listen to music and don’t play the game.
3 in the poker room, 1 more and we’s can start!
Gimme a sec. I’m making Salisbury Steak.
In West Hollywood “making Salisbury Steak” is gay code for getting butt-fucked while someone pisses on your head.
Having been in West Hollywood a few times, and not having known that, I’m happy I went to the Ramen Restaurants now.
Brick morphed into Buddy so gradually, I didn’t notice.
I’m sucking a dick right now
but not in a gay way
https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529
This series of shows is very therapeutic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqRkilbNprY
AFL is on FS1 again tonight!
HAWT TAEK: Horrible Bosses is fucking hilarious.
Jennifer Aniston is an attractive lady.
I’d lick her. Anywhere she wanted.
Agreed but whoever greenlit the sequel should be shot
At least it’s not “Master Bates”.
she really does have a point there
Or two
You can see the cut in the filming; a lack of nipple continuity.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRRIjldrNok
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLWmIJV4GMg
alone, since Zooey Deschanel left him
/farting intensifies
Looking like a “don’t bother putting the liquor back in the solid gold liquor hutch” kind of night.
I will sit at the DFO poker table and break wind. Until others show up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXHkFZ-nG4Y
If there’s one thing that good about this Coronovirus Pandemic, its seeing how good the Republican Governors of Ohio and Kentucky are doing at calming the citizens and everyone’s gratitude for their leadership in this time of crisis.
Hell, Andy Beshear is getting praise from Kentucky and he’s a Democrat!
https://www.cincinnati.com/story/life/2020/03/21/coronavirus-kentucky-social-media-memes-praise-gov-andy-beshear/2884844001/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1124321234573690/
In ’24 or ’28, we may be looking at DeWine and Beshear for the Presidency.
Even Pence is getting into it. Its comforting to know that even though the Republican Party has given a vow of loyalty to Trump, they haven’t forgotten that in times of crisis they are one duty about all else: to serve and protect the people. It gives me hope that once Trump is dragged off to prison or Puerto Rico (re: “He’s all yours.” scene from Iron Man 1) and a few election cycles has passed to filter out the MAGA-diots, the Republican Party might return to normal.
Of course, since Trump doesn’t have a selfless bone in his body. He comes off as a jabbering mental patient causing more harm then good. I’m waiting for the moment when its announced he has COVID-19 and the Stock Market instantly goes up 1,200 points as a result.
Errr, Senators Burr, Loeffler, Inhofe, and Feinstein (who might as well be an R) would like to have a private word with you.
Governors have to live in the real world, not the Washington, DC bubble. Helps them to be real people, or at least pretend to be.
Maybe this bit of bipartisan cooperation and idea-sharing will help pull us through. Probably not, but I’d like it.
Yer fuckin’ ay tweet!
—Former Indiana Governor Mike Pence
Explain Greg Abbott
I mean…not everybody. That guy in GA is a pretty bad douchebag, too.
Crippled in a car accident and determined to make the rest of the world pay for it.
He’s the culmination of everything your party has been striving towards since the day after Goldwater lost to LBJ. “Normal” is still extremely fucking evil, stupid, selfish, and cruel.
You know who isn’t enjoying quarantine? My liver. You know who doesn’t enjoy most days that end in “Y”? My liver. Cheers, baby.
Welcome the prospect of being stuck in their rooms for two months straight? Check.
Enjoy looking at tombstones in cemeteries? Check.
I figured out who is responsible for this virus.
I took my dog for a 7 mile hike today.
He is fucking loving this quarantine.
I read about a dog who was so happy to have people around that he sprained his tail.
I was going to post a photo of him, but fucked it up.
As long as that St Bernard has a full keg of brandy ’round his neck, he’s MY pal.
Repeated from previous thread:
So, here’s the thing. The reason we’re undergoing all these measures is because of two things: 1) We are trying to protect those with compromised immune systems and 2) We’re trying to ensure the health care system is not overwhelmed.
The disease itself has a very low mortality rate. If healthy people get it, we will get thorough it and fight it off.
Let’s not panic and make things worse. Tom Hanks and Idris Elba are NOT going to die!
Well, not of COVID 19 anyway and not yet.
But Tom Brady might die of MRSA, right?
The way I look at it is that I have people I care about who are very much at risk of dying due to this virus. If I do my part to help reduce/eliminate its spread, maybe the version of me that lives close to them will do the same and reduce the danger for them.
All well and good, but I’m down to 2 (TWO) rolls of TP.
I riot at dawn.
If England had landed on the moon:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HA7SYDYTZ08
I loved that show as a kid and even had models of the vehicles. I never understood why the women wore those purple wigs while on duty, but loved the uniforms.