Look, this was a bad fookin’ week for me and reality/Lesser Footy. Shit, I even had back-to-back seasons under a lot of pressure with Pretend Man City (2106-07 and 2107-08, specifically)! But I ain’t letting go of that. Without Footy Manager, I would wither up and blow away, like an empty plastic grocery bag on a blustery autumn beach.
Speaking of autumn? Only two months left to kill before Greater Footy, and its non-union JV farm system equivalent return. Oh, joyous day to come.
Buddy of mine tried to get me to watch the Babylon Berlin series, but I don’t have the attention span or patience for even a movie, much less a TV series. So, I am reading the book series instead. Volume 1 is quite good, and I am nearing the end as I type this drivel (late Friday afternoon). Books 2-5 await for tomorrow through hopefully much of July.
What are people reading? How are you staying sane during this shittiest of seasons?
Don’t even bring up Everton and the Premier League. DON’T. FUCKING. EVEN.
Chekists v. Danes – from Baku (Noon, ESPN)
I have $10 on nil-nil (after 90′) in this one. About time that happened. I won’t be watching. The officiating yesterday put me off this torneo, especially since there’s nobody left that I even have mild affection for.
Ukes v. Boring-Ass Brits – from Rome (3:00, ABC)
Really, do you want to hear Ian Darke stick his tongue all the way up the Cuck Liouns’ arsehole for 2 hours? Knock yourself out. And aren’t Ukraine semi-likeable? Nah, they don’t count because they’ll be ded on their feet, and have no chance whatsoever.
Do you think Rex Ryan would treasure anything more than winning a football game 4-0?
4-2?
Guy who was all “let me know when they bang four in” is now all “but it’s Ukraine, not like its fookin Italy, they’re hardly a world class team”
Respect the pessimism
I don’t think the Ukranian strategy of having their defenders form a circle ten feet away from where the ball is going to land is paying off.
Bold strategy!
England-Denmark it is then.
Hoping for the second coming of Canute, personally.
Live look at ENG goalie
The Univision announcers really like saying his name. YOR-DAN PICK-FORD!
U-Kraine? More like U-R-Getting-Your-Clocks-Klained, amirite?
My English grad school friends rn:
“3-0? Now this is a football score.” – Marty Schottenheimer
“Let’s not get too crazy.”
— Norv Turner
Kojak with the lolly!!
Fuck the English. I’m gonna watch Wimbledon.
I’m taking a nap until the Copa
– Lola, to Tony a few hours before her shift starts
No if you want to watch the English fuck you gotta go with Love Island.
Who wants to tell him?
“its still early”
*england scores*
“its not so early!! “
Ukraine is capable of scoring two goals. Within four games.
Yep going to run errands now before the Copa and Cav games.
I think there are some Englishes a table over from me. And proper ones too, not those southern ponces
Oh yeah, for sure, just caught a fookin’
How loud did they just yell?
Quite wry and unexcited though, “well, thats two, let me know when they bang four in”
What’s everyone cooing for dinner the day before gouging up 4th of July?
Hot dogs and burgers, as God intended.
Sadly, there is a chewing moratorium in place at the Gumby house.
Hot dog and mustard smoothie!
Watching my dumbass neighbors recreate JPP’s injury.
SHOULD BE FUN
“gimme two fingers”
“two fingers of booze?”
“nah, two actual fingers”
Gonna have a turkey sandwich with avocado soon.
Where are the hearts of the clubhouse for this match? Are we anti-England? I’m not. But it’s hard not to root for a nation who’s continued success makes Putin fucking furious.
It’s not so much anti-England as it is that they will become insufferable if they win it all.
Think Masshole with a better accent.
I don’t think I have ever rooted for a winner in my life, so I am pro-Ukraine here
I picked England in this one only because I want them to get curbstomped in the final at home.
Oooh, that is some quality sports viciousness! Well done!
I am an ABE, Anyone But England. I will not be able to handle their fans and their media.
If it comes down to England-Italy I’ll root for England. ABI for me; their constant diving irritates the hell out of me. The book about their ultras didn’t help either. Bunch of fascists.
I’m reading The Last by Hanna Jameson at your own recommendation and it’s fantastic. Be sure to give a look at Blacktop Wasteland by S.A. Cosby. A freaking barn burner of a read.
I just picked up an Eleanor Roosevelt biography at the library. David Michaelis.
Uh oh – Ukrainian robot broke down.
Hopefully, it’s not a result of the fatal nerve agent that was “accidentally” left by a Russian trainer in the dressing room…
This is fake news. Russian astronomers have declared that Plutonium isn’t a poison anymore.
To answer Hippo’s question about what we’re reading, I’m almost finished with Richard Blade’s autobiography, “The World In My Eyes”.
It’s really good. @SonOfSpam, you might want to check it out. As we grew up in LA, there are some awesome stories in there that we lived through.
I just finished Tales of Times Square, which was about as dirty as you would expect for a memoir of a porn journalist in 1980s Times Square, also the latest Brother Hermitage mystery, always good. Just started Sprinting through No Mans Land, about the first tour De France after ww1, first few pages are promising, will update after I finish it on my flights home. Also topical, cause TDF is also happening now
Thanks! Just might have to check that out. Richard Blade was always part of the background sound of the 80s and 90s, he must have a ton of cool anecdotes. Shows up all the time at concerts now, especially those multi-act flashback shows.
Yup. A lot of behind the scenes stuff.
Between 91x and KROQ there was plenty of Richard Blade to go around.
I read that as “Multi-Acid flashback shows” and didn’t even bat an eye.
I heard him promote said book, but he talks SO MUCH between songs that I find him annoying.
I’m doing Deacon King Kong by James McBride. It’s Oprah Approved! Anyway, there’s a bit of sentimental stuff in there but overall it’s a good read.
I read that a while ago. I would say good, not great, and probably for the same reasons you cite.
I do think it would make a great movie for Denzel Washington.
Scarlett Johanssen as Deems, of course.
The guy on 1st wave on Sirius? I like him, despite his Morrissey boner.
I didn’t know I was OCD until I watched my son mow the grass for the first time. On the one hand? So proud. But my god, it looks like the job was done by a blind man running from bees. If you could’ve harnessed the mental energy I was putting into willing him to not miss spots, you could’ve bent spoons.
Hey, at least you’re getting some free labor outta the kid!
I thought that was the purpose of having children…
I haven’t done the dishes since my kid was tall enough to reach the sink.
It used to be, but now there are all these regulations about feeding them and educating them and child labor laws and other such nonsense. Totally screws up the cost/benefit analysis
i started mowing the lawn when I was 9.
This is poetry.
Bending spoons? I think Fronk is actually Uri Geller.
Here’s me coaching him past the Thai basil:
The first time I let my son mow the lawn was also the last time I let my son mow the lawn.
Never let perfect be the enemy of good enough
An excellent start for the Three Lions. Ukraine defence as uninspiring as an overcooked cabbage roll. Go on chaps!
Ukraine not kneeling. England being England. Who the fuckballs do you cheer for here?
Pretend Man City obvs!!
How is your precocious 14 yr-old playerbot from Post-Arabia doing?
I did buy a 15-year old Estonian centre mid (out of Redshite academy, Bernie TOTES turned his head), he’s progressed to where he’s likely a squaddie this season. Coming off injury, though.
I did get him mentioned as the youngest player ever to play in the European Super Cup (at 16 years and like 7 days).
“I did buy a 15-year old Estonian….”
/Matt Gaetz has entered the chat
Three Leg Parlay Of Ridiculous Bananacakes:
Ukraine (+600) / Over 4.5 (+925) / Over 11.5 corners (+225)
A buck gets me $210.
Okay, that is a flushable.
So you just picked the three longest shots cause you hate having one dollar bills!
“Jordan Pickford has 18 clean sheets? He must be a billionaire!”
-Jim Tomsula
I’m starting a podcast that is centered around gender fluidity, QB’s, BDSM and the SyFy genre-check out “Warren Moon Is A Harsh Mistress” on Spotify. You won’t be disappointed!
As to what we’re reading, (I just read the post in full; will Hippo’s pretend Man City franchise outlast the heat death of the universe? /shakes Magic 8-Ball/ ‘Signs point to yes’) I’m in the middle of TC Boyle’s ‘The Tortilla Curtain’. Very good story, but really, really grim. And considering it was written in 1995, awfully topical.
I sure hope it does!! Heat death of the universe be pretty lame otherwise.
Is that a semifinal I see before me?
I’m just happy to see you.
/Starts binge-watching “Vikings” in preparation for England-Denmark
Fuck off, Skidmark. You are the worst of the pastries, anyway.
“Look At You, Denny’s!”
-Health Inspectors, everywhere
I had to quit eating at Denny’s for digestive health reasons, so makes sense.
The ref is the worst
I’m a little surprised the Danes didn’t get a PK on that dive.
That guy really needed to czech his temper to avoid that yellow card, wouldn’t you s…
Aw, shit! It’s contagious.
I think Denmark can win this if they watch for two things; keeping an eye on their opponent, and maintaining a proper mix of offense and defense.
In other words, Czechs and balance.
/dodges rotten fruit
//wonders how Lindsey Graham got here so quickly
I’m +1’ing this and hating myself for it.
Yeah, I hated myself for writing the comment, can’t imagine how shitty you feel.
Sorry about the image size, folks… Got locked out of editing it whilst I was trying to figger out how to resize. Derp. Most of the guides I am finding on the interweb involves using a plug in (yeah, yeah, “Phrasing”), but I don’t have that capability, as far as I can see.
Anyone got a link for a quick n’ easy guide to resize an image on a comment?)
English Announcer: [score is 2-0] “The next goal is the most important goal.”
English Announcer: [score is 2-1] “The next goal is the most important goal.”
He’s letting the Don Cherry flow through him.
Curious what he’d have to say about all the players.
/not really, he’s a racist ( most likely) asshole
I’ve got two blowhard uncles that seem to believe that if you shout your opinion, that makes your argument that much stronger. It gets tired so fast.
If the facts aren’t on your side, argue the law.
If the law isn’t on your side, argue the facts.
If neither the facts nor the law are on your side, yell really loud and bang the table.
If you ever have goalposts that need to be moved, over and over again, give me a call and I’ll hook you up-they’re experts in the field.
Danish Scrabble is probably a cakewalk when you have too many ‘A’s and ‘S’s.
As long as the ratio is 2 ‘S’s to 1 A, I’m good.
Only one J seems to be a devastating shortcoming.
Denny didn’t mark his man.
Time for a Carlsberg.
Honestly, Denmark look like the best team left. That was quite a first half performance.
You might be right, but they will be up against a Three Lions squad that will have God on their side! If Slovakia was still in the tournament, they could at least attempt to recruit Miroslav Satan for such a contest.
I should think you would be pleased with the Danish moving forward, Sir, as their blood surely runs through the English even to this day.
I certainly am, my good man. The cream is truly rising to the top!
Speaking of, here’s an interesting article for you beer geeks out there involving the isolation of lager yeast (by Hansen/Carlberg) & subsequent chromosome tracing… https://beerandbrewing.com/repro-or-retro/
“Damn. I haven’t seen a cross like that since…wait, never mind, we never received the elevator surveillance video, that’s the ticket, yeah.” – Roger Goodell
Bof!
Those are Vikings, not Danes.
Denny’s should have at least one more goal.
Welp, there it is!
That pass was Broomian in its quality.
Two downsides to this hot weather? Can’t run as much as I’d like and the ice cubes in my drinks melt so fast. It’s a struggle.
Nice butt butt by the Danish.
Anyone have experience/recommends on “purple” mattresses and/or pillows? I am waking up in neck/shoulder agony most days.
There’s a pill for that you know.
I am MOAR pill than man at this point!
The best I can do is recommend that you buy their stock, because it’s done very well for me.
I see Denver is up on the Czech’s-did I miss anything of significance?
Your move, Bohemians!
As always, great song, great video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CU3mc0yvRNk
Was expecting a certain song by Queen, but not disappointed with this in the slightest.
Dandy Warhols usually gets one a DonT thumbs-up, too!
When Great Danes have natural tails and ears, they look like really tall Labs. I love it!
That’s a nice goal but that should not have been a corner kick. Hopefully, it won’t matter.
And now,
VS
WHO YA GOT?
Pretty sure I picked these guys:
I can’t be mad at CZE. They’re watchable. Visiting Prague is on the To-Do list. Wedged between x. paint the Apt. and x+2. oil change.
A good day to all of you, gentlemen! I have spent the past 12 hours mourning King Leopold’s defeat to the surprisingly mighty House of Savoy, whose cultural sensibilities have never caught on in Africa. The Roman descendants will need everything they have to overcome the Iberians, who are quite skilled in raping and pillaging if the moon hits their eye in precisely the right way. That said, neither will be any match for the Three Lions in the final, who by the grace of God are most certainly destined to win this tournament. Time for some Chicken Kiev!
Not on topic at all, but it’s nice to see that not ALL cops are bastards.
https://www.rawstory.com/evictions/
The thing I have tried hard to stress to my (righteously left-angry) kids is – just imagine how hard it would be to be a good, honest police officer today. You have the corrupt/evil piece of shit element trying to force you into a “code of silence” and you have a brigade of folks lumping who lump you in with the bad element.
It’s not easy, and the system doesn’t provide much of an incentive for you to follow your “better angels.” But we need good, honest folks to BE police officers, or we are fucked beyond repair.
Yeah, it’s a job that has you dealing with people at their worst every day. It can’t help but affect you. Everyone I’ve ever know that became a cop was a completely different person within a couple years of taking the job.
Glad this story is getting traction. I just love the quote from the AZ Republic’s article:
“The Pima County Board of Supervisors voted last week 3-2 to suspend Vasquez for 180 days after the state ethics board unanimously voted to urge him to resign.”
From the landlord, to the 3 assholes on the Board of Supervisors, to the state ethics board – complete shitbags all the way down. Just shows you how much they really “Back the Blue”…
I’ll pass this quote to Luis Suárez’s publicist
& I get that Vasquez has been before the “ethics” board previously, but trying to railroad a cop into quitting not because he refused to evict a Mom and her kids, but because he didn’t evict them immediately – giving the newly hired social worker 9 days to find them a place to go to? A delay of 9 fucking days? What kinda Mr. Burns ethics are those??
You’re missing the point: That’s 9 days of passive income that the poor landlord is missing out on!
The best bart about watching Babylon Berlin is that you still get to read it, since it’s in Duetchlandish.
v
Plus boobs
I have already deduced that Charly must have incredible shoulders.