Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.  

I don’t have much on my mind today.  The last few weeks I was able to (very poorly) cover lessor footy games and le hockey, but that stuff is all over now.  Ignores Concacaf games.  Gonna miss the lessor footy games and participation around these parts.  I guess it’s only another month or so and training camp starts, so that’s to look forward to.  Gotta start looking for FF team names as I’m not nearly clever enough to come up with one on my own.

As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Since the thread [Draft of Americana] is winding down, I’ll end it with the Most American Thing Ever: Voting against your own best interests.
scotchnaut

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Work blocked me on this site, calling it “Mature Humor”. Who the hell is being mature around here, and have they seen what passes for humor? Fucking work!
TheRevanchist

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I can’t get over the Gilette ad that just played. He still had a stubble even after he was done shaving! Like, he’s so manly that the razor doesn’t even work, and if you buy that razor you’ll be that manly too!
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Come to think of it, I’ve never tried opening a can of beer to see if bikini clad hoes appeared around me looking to party.
blaxabbath

That is actually how I have acquired all of my bikinis and gardening equipment
Doktor Zymm

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“I promise, no more microaggressions. I will stick to macroaggressions, like tying members of the organization to train tracks, from now on! ” -Snyder Whiplash
Doktor Zymm

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Love that the big praise for Tampa is their skating ability up and down the lineup. Skating ability, in hockey, who’da thunk that’d be important?
herodotus450

“ONE TIME MY AHL COACH EDDIE SHORE BET ME THAT I COULDN’T DRINK 16 BEERS ON THE TRAIN RIDE FROM ROCHESTER TO SYRACUSE. I LOST THE BET AND I HAD TO DEEPTHROAT ‘BIG’ BILL STEMKOSKI, A ROOKIE WHO JUST CAME OVER FROM FLIN FLON. HE TASTED A BIT SWEET, I’LL NEVER FORGET THAT. BUT YEAH, SKATING ABILITY IS REALLY IMPORTANT!”

-Don Cherry, probably
scotchnaut

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Ummm Alberta may want to rename this one.
litre_cola

I mean, “Displaced People’s Final Happy Resting Place” has a bit more zing, if you think about it.
scotchnaut

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Apparently K-Mart was selling “Ashley Babbit: American Patriot” shirts. It was a third-party thing that they promptly took it down, but now I’m thinking I should upload one with an image of her face and one of the following two slogans:

I stormed the Capitol and tried to overthrow the U.S. Government and all I got was this lousy t-shirt and a bullet to the throat…

OR

I stormed the Capitol and tried to overthrow the U.S. Government and all I got was what I deserved.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Is it… is it coming home?

Ha ha, no. England is just choosing the most devastating way to lose.
Dunstan

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I think the 3 minutes of rowing I did this morning is totally enough to compensate for the beef pie, 1.5 bottles of wine, cheesy poofs, and mini-churros I had for dinner
Doktor Zymm

You might be overtraining. Take the day off tomorrow, you don’t want to hurt yourself!
gumbygirl

It’s good to have sensible voices in the house!
Doktor Zymm

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When traveling you have no control of your life. Cubs on the phone. Plan 9 on the tablet.

And Plan B in the nightstand!
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You keep hangers in your nightstand? Weirdo.
litre_cola

“Uh, it’s called ‘rope’.” – David Carradine
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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/random memory

Conservative Client: “Obama is so full of himself, it’s embarrassing.”

Me: “Oh, why do you say that?”

CC: “Well, that healthcare bill he passed, he called it ‘ObamaCare’-that’s ridiculous!”

Me: “It’s actually called The Affordable Care Act, dumb right-wingers started calling it ‘ObamaCare’, trying to discredit it.”

CC: “….”

/fin
scotchnaut

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I hope seeing Dr. Jill Biden at the spelling bee ruined the experienced for any redhats who are watch…[breaks down laughing]…okay okay, I can’t keep a straight face, we all know those dipshits would rather pull out their own fingernails than watch the children of immigrants display intellectual prowess.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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So Texas is a hotbed for Indian Spellers?
litre_cola

That’s their recruiting slogan in Jabalpur: “Texas: just as hot and racist as India, but with 10% less shit in the streets. Visit today!”
herodotus450

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We’ve got 4.98 ″ of rain over the last 24 hours here.

Deanna Favre just bought the house next door.
Horatio Cornblower

“Makes sense, that much rain is pretty much the only way a woman can get wet.” – Ben Shapiro
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Yesterday I was driving along Obama Blvd. in LA and while stopped at the light at La Brea a guy got out of his car and I was like, “what the hell is this guy doing?” Turns out he was giving some food and a bottle of water to a homeless guy sleeping on the sidewalk. The guy wasn’t even awake, he just left it there by his head and hurried back to his car.

It was nice to see some genuine compassion in the wild.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Google Flights has started telling you if a particular flight emits more or less carbon than average for a particular route and seating class. I think it’s working the opposite of intended, because even though it ultimately plays no role in my decision making, I really kind of want to book the super high carbon flights….
Doktor Zymm

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Hey everybody I’m back too!

I was gone for two weeks and I apologize for the pain that must have caused, but I was trapped in a coal mine after the entrance collapsed. Never press a button if you don’t know what it does.

Eventually we all walked out through a different entrance. We could have done that on day one.
Brick Meathook

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Hey everyone, I’m back! These last 2 days were what the exact opposite of fun would be but I’m good as new and have a clean bill of health. Time for a lovely walk, a trip to the grocery store then a fine day of much alcohol consumption. My doctor said my health is top notch for my age and to “Keep doing what you’ve been doing.”

Hear that?

Doctors orders!
yeah right

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Less than 10 minutes in for CONCACAF Gold cup we got a major head injury, blood and a stretcher.
clint greasewood

Football: “We need to change the rules for safety!”
Baseball: “We need to change the rules for safety!”
Soccer: “Five minute stoppage time.”
Redshirt

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Neymar Jr. spends more time in the dirt than Rush Limbaugh.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Bought some “low fat” granola. The extra 5 minutes of life this stuff buys me better be worth it.
herodotus450

Low Fat was my favorite villain in ‘Enter The Dragon’.
scotchnaut

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ITS COMING ROME
clint greasewood

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The Yankees have taken to holding their shirts shut when they hit a HR against the Astros, trolling Altuve. This is going to be a lost season for them, but that in itself is worth 5 wins.
Horatio Cornblower

You know you’ve fucked up when you’ve let the Yankees get the moral high ground on you.
Dunstan

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As someone with almost no interest in professional soccer, its interesting what information I can gather from this game simply due to our comments
Brocky

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I HAVEN’T SEEN SO MUCH CONSISTENT ENGLISH PRESSURE SINCE ELIZABETH HURLEY GRILLED HUGH GRANT ABOUT DIVINE BROWN.
scotchnaut

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In honor of the Italian fans who weren’t able to (i.e. prohibited from) to travel to the game today, I’m eating a banana.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“TRAITOR!”

-a lonely peach
scotchnaut

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I just realized. I love the Tour de France. If anyone cares, I should have been writing about it.

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Differences in 1st Round Picks by Sports:

NFL: “Congratulations in being picked last in the 1st Round. You’re going to be playing in front of tens of thousands of people each week that will be shown on National TV.”

NBA: “Congratulations in being picked last in the 1st Round. You’re going to be playing in front of tens of thousands of people each week that will be shown on National TV.”

MLB: “Congratulations in being picked last in the 1st Round. You’re going to be playing in front of tens of people each week that will sporadically be shown in the 2nd to last page of the sports newspaper.”
Redshirt

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Blaxito turns three on Saturday. Looking for solid white sangria recipe.
blaxabbath

Something that takes more than a shot to go down.

Unlike pathetic Ashley Babbit.
blaxabbath

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The 70s were a golden age for drunk driving and jokes about it. Them old timers knew how to swerve..
Don T

Manual transmissions were the original BAC interlock devices.
herodotus450

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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