As you go about your daily activities, don’t you get the feeling that your city, state/province, and/or neighboUrhood could use a pretty little fire?  Especially a pretty little fire that grows into an impressive, towering, gorgeoUs inferno??

OK, maybe y’all Californians ought not try this.  But we can all enjoy Lesser Footy!

Is it worth getting up early to watch Chelski beat the tar shit out of Norwich (7:30, NBCSN)?  YMMV, but at least one Commentist would find it ROCKING!

Leeds and Wolves should at least have ample energy (10:00, NBCSN).  On the flipside, no fucking idea why Toffees/Moose Hornets merits TV coverage (10:00, USA).  Oh well, makes my shitty existence easier, and the streaming options are a bit shit themselves.

Surprise darlings Trashbirds of Brighton get to host a Spotlight Dance, against Man City, no less (12:30, NBC).  The coolest aspect of this one is that absolutely anything could happen.  Brighton could come out like a house of fire, then try to withstand the inevitable City reaction.  City could spunk them straight from the first kick.  Shit, everyone might play for the point, for all I know (check the Footy Tipping standings for MOAR evidence of my idiocy).  Anyway, deffo worth a flip over to check things out.

There’s a Ham Derby early Sunday (9:00, NBCSN), then I recommend ignoring Red Devils v. Redshite (11:30, NBCSN) and the many annoying narratives that will surround it.

JV NFL?  Oh, it’s on like Donkey Kong.

Kansas State (pick ’em) at Texas Tech (Noon, FS1)

Yeah, the noon window is that bad.  This is the best, and really only watchable option.

Wisconsin (-3.5) at Purdue (3:00, BTN)

You can tell how much Vegas believes that last week’s Boilermakers were a total fluke.  I was expecting Wiscy +7 or higher, and likely would have bet that.  Fuckers.

Oklahoma State (+7) at Iowa State (3:30, Fox)

Hold onto those pre-season impressions of the Big Twaaaaalve, I guess.  But this is legitimately a trap game for BDSM State, and Cornpone State’s last stand at relevance.  Should be interesting.

Oregon (+1) at UCLA (3:30, ABC)

Similarly, this is Westwood Klavern’s last stand.  Oregon is the last PAC-12 side that could sneak into playoff contention.  As such, Balls predicts a Bruin victory.  He’s probably right, I just don’t want to admit it.

Clemson (+3.5) at Pitt (3:30, ESPN)

Somehow, after losing hilariously to Western Michigan, the JV Yinzers got relevant.  I don’t understand any MOAR than you do, but is a game worth highlighting.  This would almost surely knock Son de Clem out of Atlantic contention.

LSU (+8) at Ole Miss (3:30, CBS)

I am obliged to mention the 3:30 CBS fixture, because MEANS MOAR obvs, suck it libtards!!  Boy howdy, I never knew Coach Orgeron had such a creeper side.

See y’all in the comments.