Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.

So, I’ve got some bad news. Somehow yous has allowed me to post 100 times (including this one). Like, what the actual fuck, fuck? Was there no chat bot or donkey bashing away on a typewriter that could have posted instead of me?

While I’m still working on being a better writer, and think that’s something that I will always work on, I do find that I’ve found my writing voice or style and it’s a comfortable feeling to have. However, I will keep pushing my perceived boundaries to see what else I can come up with. The Packer bye week take down is not something that I thought that I’d have enough hate for, but apparently I’m becoming an angry oldish man (welcome to the club – jjFozz). The other post that came out better than I thought was the Bleegmas post from 2019. It’s rewarding to have an idea come to fruition.

I kinda miss doing the Bleergh report, but I was having way too trouble finding the play by play data in a usable format consistently. I know I can get the game sheets from the NFL site, but then they need to be parsed and then saved as something usable. And while I can write an app for something like that, it seems like way too much work with lots of areas for error. And we don’t want to piss off Bleergh. The list of penalties cannawt be wrong.

For some humblebrag news, I somehow beat the regular season first place team in FF and am now playing in the championship game. So, kinda happy to be guaranteed to win some money, but still want to win. It’s a work league, so medium competitiveness and not much trash talk. The funny thing about our league is that usually the person that finishes first in the regular season, loses the final two games to finish out of the money. So, interested to see if that happens again. For one of managers it happened to him 2 or 3 years in a row, so we now call this happening his first name.

As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.    

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Excellent run down sir. You gonna do part 2 Wednesday [Hippo thoughts]? We still have 4 games to go during this Covidy impacted looonnnggg… er… week.
2Pack

Y’all might get a mini-thoughts on Boxing Day morning. Since I won’t be able to see any of Truthers/RRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! – Wednesday would be even less knowledge-based than usual.
King Hippo

“Wednesday would be even less knowledge-based than usual”

Yeah, yeah, I know I’ve seen a Republican Party press conference.
Redshirt

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It has been entirely too long since we had one of these [25 questions post] ! Thank you Balls. You’re my favorite, don’t tell the others! And of course, I must answer all 25 questions, so here we go!
Answers:

Gumbygirl

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Boris: “I’m just not into 40 ways.”

Plato’s Retreat: [withdraws invitation]
scotchnaut

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DR. MRS. DEADLY: We need some cheap scotch.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [buys cheap scotch]

DR. MRS. DEADLY: No, that’s too cheap.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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I’m out. Life’s too fucking short to watch this horseshit.
Fronkenshteen

– nurse ragequitting after dealing with a COVID patient who overdosed on ivermectin
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Found a funny;

mayor of whoville: i’ve had it with the grinch

wife: isn’t he good now?

mayor: not good enough

wife: he wrote us a christmas song. he is making an effort

mayor: but he called the song “fuck city: born to die.”

wife: yeah and that rules. why are you being such a little bitch
rockingdog

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Lemme tell you about this fuckweasel Nick Mullins. He was a verbal commit to UAB, and then on National Signing Day he pulled a fast one and announced he was going to Southern Miss. Fuck him with a sharpened spork, I hope he gets murdered today. Go Raiders!
Gumbygirl

So you’re saying he’s has a potential future as a College Football Coach?
Redshirt

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The refs need the National Guard deployed ASAP to make it back to their locker room.
Mr. Ayo

Most Bears fans would be winded just getting to field level.
Game Time Decision(

That’s why they call it the Windy City, right?
Mr. Ayo

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Doktor Zymm

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THESE REFEREES I CALL THEM PARK RANGER SMITH BECAUSE THEY WILL NEVER ACKNOWLEDGE IT PUBLICLY BUT IT’S PERFECTLY CLEAR THAT THEY HATE THESE FUCKING BEARS.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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/Wife and I are both bossy-boss types and we had a good-natured argument about who was better.

Wife: “Tell you what, whoever gets the most Xmas presents from staff wins.”

Me: “Guys don’t give each other presents but I do get a few so that’s not fair.”

Wife “Ok, every one you get counts for 1.5.”

Me: “You’re on!”

/She’s currently leading something like 19 to 6.5
scotchnaut

Trolling for gifts on [DFO] is not something I expected this year.

That said, what can we send you?
Mr. Ayo

Not cutlery. I’m not falling into that “accessory” trap again.
Horatio Cornblower

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Found a funny;

LITTLE GIRL: putting a hat on snowman Frosty?

SNOWMAN: w̸̱̠͈͇̩̃̅ẖ̷̨̜̞̹̾͊ͅo̷͔̲͌͛̆͝ ̷̨̩̹͑h̵̬̜̹͇͋̍͠͠ḁ̶͙̟̫͖̤͑̍̑͘͝t̵̨͇͚̼̭̂͌̕h̴̗̭̘͒́̆̚ ̷̖̻̱̋̈́͘s̸͉̥͓̥̓u̷̙͑͌͋͋͆̉m̸͚̳̜͌̆͂̾̊̌m̷̫̂̽o̵͓͒͛n̵̛͚̺̖̭͔̾̍è̸̠̱̱͓̀̌̑͌̚͜d̵̬̋̽̑ ̵̳̥͓͚̗̹́̽̀m̵̘͋̉̋̑̔͘e̴̝̒͠

LITTLE BOY: take it off
rockingdog

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There’s a noticeable lack of ads in Canada featuring a snowblower with a bow on it, sitting in the front driveway.
scotchnaut

Don’t you just get one from the Queen on reaching age 18 in Canadia?
LemonJello

We did until late November, 1991 and then that bastard Brian May stopped the whole gifting process.
scotchnaut

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Not going to be surprised when we find out this guy’s name was Brocky.

BELLINGHAM, Wash. – A person is dead after he was involved in multiple accidents on I-5 near Lake Samish.

Washington State Patrol (WSP) troopers say the first crash happened around 6:30 a.m. when the victim rolled his vehicle in the northbound lanes of I-5 near Lake Samish.

The person was able to get out of his car but another vehicle then hit him.

Emergency crews got to the scene and put the victim in an ambulance to go to the hospital. However, the ambulance was soon also hit.

WSP said none of the crew members were injured but another aid car was needed to rush the victim to the hospital.

The victim, only described as ‘he’ at this point, was pronounced deceased at the hospital.
Mr. Ayo

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I second DFOCon: Superb Owl edition in Vegas.
Sharkbait

I third. I would like to actually meet everyone if possible. Just please don’t let it be like highschool where the cool kids would say to meet at one place and they would actually meet up somewhere else. It was so cold…, and lonely…., and there were wolves…..
ArmedandHammered

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Cooper Kupp stumbles off the line, must be defensive holding. No other possible explanation
Recovery Whiskey

These refs I call 2 Girls, because they love 1 Kupp
Clipboard Jesus

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Charmslinger pulls out another one.
Mr. Ayo

he has TWO cocks??
King Hippo

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THIS GUY GARRETT GILBERT I CALL HIM DDT BECAUSE HE’S KILLING THESE EAGLES SILENTLY AND INVISIBLY!
LemonJello

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Where the fuck is everybody? They think the game start normal night time??? NOT ON TUESDAY DURING THE END TIMES.
litre_cola

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Brilliant baby, but I think we’re missing out on some franchisable opportunities [from the Starrrrr of Wonder movie review]. Line? No? Do you mind? Snooooooooooooort. You sure? Now with this Jerry character, we need a redemption arc. So not jail. Maybe he gets visited by coaches past and learns the error of his ways. I like this Jimmy Johnson fella, lotsa opportunity for product placement there. And that Princeton feller… classes it up a bit. And that guy who almost lost his leg… we put him on crutches… This just writes itself. Or some other guy wrote it. Can’t remember…
Warthog

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Rikki, you are weird and wonderful. Balls is my current favorite, but you are only the width of one of Samantha Starr’s pubes that her half-blind Latvian waxer left behind…behind.
Gumbygirl

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I assume nobody had any trouble identifying the visiting opponent’s head coach?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Horatio Cornblower

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Let me just say I always LOVE #content from the voices in our heads.
King Hippo

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The record for triple doubles by a Canadian is held by Steve Nash-he has 3. This record has been broken several million times every year by any Tim Horton’s drive-thru you can name.
scotchnaut

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I’m out. Thought i would lose at the airport tonight, made it out, toggling through SiriusXM and BAM Stevie Wonder’s version of LDB.

That fucker came out of nowhere.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Seems like neither one of you saw that coming.
LemonJello

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Found a funny:

When does the government vaccine start controlling my mind? I am tried of making decisions
rockingdog

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Consolation brackets in fantasy football.
Mr. Ayo

Upon further consideration, those first three words were quite unnecessary.
Mr. Ayo

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Welp, you asked for it! This is just a partial list, don’t want to harsh anyone’s buzz.And away we go!

1. Donald Trump, his family, his slack-jawed supporters, and anyone who has anything positive to say about him. No exceptions.
2. All other Republicans.
3. Anyone with any connection to organized religion, with the exception of my Aunt, Sister Patrice, who walks the walk.
4. Fundamentalist zealots of any flavor.
5. Ben Roethlisberger.
6. Househunting, in this insane market.
   7.Billionaires. Most millionaires too, especially the ones who avoid paying taxes.
   8.Beets. They are gross and taste like dirt.
   9.The two bitches who made my life a living hell when I worked at the post office. Die in a fiery crash, both of you.
7. Anything else not stated above that annoys the fuck out of me.

The good news, I am still in the LDB challenge!
Gumbygirl

Almost forgot:

Not being Gumbygirl’s favourite even though no one told me.
Mr. Ayo

This is my favorite list. Don’t tell the others.
scotchnaut

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Well, face mask by the runner isn’t something you see every day.
Petronel

BLEERGH is not consistent, but it is constant.
Mr. Ayo

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Goddammit Janeane, keep the “season of giving” stuff off the field, wouldya?
Petronel

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Don T

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They’re right when they say not to go grocery shopping when you’re hungry. I turned into Andy Reid. “Sure, let’s toss a ham in the cart, too. Just for sandwiches and snacks, you know.”
Dunstan

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I have been saving this one for Christmas Eve!

Gumbygirl

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“If you really want to up the quality of this drink [COTW Eggnog] you should get milk from a bag.”

-Me, GameTime, Litre, Maestro, etc.
scotchnaut

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Merry Christmas!

Don T

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Second hint[ for the Sexxxy Friday music puzzle]: Release
ballsofsteelandfury

Just did. Now what?
SonOfSpam

Man, we all just leaped on that joke like Ben on a co-ed in a bathroom.
Dunstan

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Evening from Hilton Head Island, another island where rich white people bought the land ridiculously cheap from the locals and then ran them off.
ArmedandHammered

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/yesterday

MIL: “I read a story about some babies found alive in a bath tub with a bible.”

Me: “Sounds like one of those dumb Facebook stories.”

MIL: “It was reported worldwide.”

Me: “Any word on whether the babies were molested by the bible?”

Wife: [icy death stare saying, Shut. The. Fuck. Up.]
scotchnaut

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Last night, in an attempt to be nice, I mentioned the Pope, and was promptly met with, “I don’t like him. He’s too liberal.”

My mother in law, Super Catholic, doesn’t like the Pope.

You can’t win.
jjfozz

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Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate (All hail Bleergh) to my favoUrite buncha degens
Game Time Decision

You just gave me an idea. We should have feast days for the various deities and demigods based on dates where they manifested themselves fully.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Lamb shank is the required meal on Shan’klor’s Day
Dunstan

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Sometimes my best military plans do not survive the first road intersection…

2Pack

Needs more dog.
-bk109
Don T

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Green Bay is out of challenges because Rodgers used them all up disputing medical science.
Dunstan

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Rogers needs to keep throwing it to Lazard!!! That would be Rocking!
rockingdog

Personally, I feel Rodgers needs to go fornicate himself with a metal rake, but if you need it for Fantasy Football, I will acquiesce to your rocking wishes.
Redshirt

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The irony of this commercial, in which Mayfield goes out of his way to redirect a package to its correct recipient, is not lost on me.
Horatio Cornblower

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“Take me down to SHANK’LOR CITY where the grass is green and the kicks aren’t pretty! Please-take me home, whoa, whoa…”
scotchnaut

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Don T

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The latest drink i made up (bourbon, cherry heering, the juice of half a cutie/mandarin orange, cherry heering, and some weird apres ski spiced liquor) isn’t as bad as it should be.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Was there not any cherry heering available?
SonOfSpam

Oh, i see i Blair Witched it.

And clearly the cherry heering is working.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Thanks to everyone here for another year of this site being my psychic and emotional anchor. I don’t deserve you folks, and finding this place has saved my life more than once. I’ll shut up now, but seriously, god bless you guys. I love you.
Fronkenshteen

No need to shut up. Thanks for being part of the clubhouse.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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