Here at DFO there were derby’s aplenty and over at the NFL, they were busy extricating the “Super” from the Wild Card Weekend. As I’ve said many times before, we always make the best of it though.
Fallout:
-Though tis early, it looks like Tristan Wirfs will be a game-time decision next week. I wouldn’t mind seeing Brady run around behind his backup.
-Jerome Boger and The Gang That Couldn’t Whistle Straight won’t be sullying the playoffs any longer according to Shefter and others. We’ll no doubt see them all year long in the next regular season, so there’s that.
-Costly W? Bosa has been concussed but my suspicion is that it’s one of those “Playoff Concussions” that fade in no time at all. Unfortunately for Fred Warner, there is no such thing as a “Playoff Sprained Ankle”.
-Philly Fans Moving On: Probably from Hurts and definitely on to the draft where they have picks 15, 16 and 19.
To The Game!
Cards/Rams:
-Eric Weddle To The Rescue! He’s a mere 37 years old and has been out of football for two years and this is the best the Rams could do? They are tremendously compromised at safety going forward.
-Bad Monkey! One of these qb’s will exit the game having won their very first playoff tilt. Stafford is a bit more overdue than Kyler and he’s gone for 280+ yards and multiple TD’s in both games this season.
-And you’d think the odds would lie with him even more because McVay has a shiny 8-1 record vs Arizonny.
-Tired of yakkers slathering about Ben? Well hold on-JJ Watt is expected to play after having shoulder surgery in early November. I swear that before he goes under the knife he has his people exaggerate the recovery time by at least two months so that he can continue to promulgate that “Superheroes Take No Days Off” bullshit.
Wander into the comments fearlessly.
Oh Kyler, you dumb fucking piece of shit.
SUDDEN QANON CHANGE!
awww man, you NEVAR wanna go Full Dakota Jeebus
Def. Coordinator John Kreese: “If you knock a receiver out, he can’t complete the catch!”
Woooooooooooo!
The Manning Cast is making this tolerable.
Thanks for reminding me. I had completely forgotten this was on espn. I was watching on abc
What is a catch?
Oh this refereeing. Jesus palomino.
What the hell? He never had possession of that ball, Helen Keller could have made that call!
/but would have been harder to decipher than even Sassy Ref
I think it’s safe to assume (i) Dr. King liked to RRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! and/or (ii) he still holds a grudge against the state of Arizona.
Uh oh. I think Stafford’s gout is acting up. Hope they got chicken breast and ranch in the blue tent
** Nerd Joke Alert!***
Run Kyler! Aaron Donald is coming!
“We need a new PR firm.”
Michel, Beckham, and Higbee look ready to cover their Overs. Murray (rush yds) and Kirk? Ehhh… not so much. Quards need a spark, and soon. Every time they show Koach Kliff, my only thought is, “How did that pencilneck get to fuck Holly Sonders? The good one! Before she turned herself all plastic and whatnot!”
Stafford got in.
It is more than a little creepy that Julian Edelman has chosen, as his advertising persona, a brain-damaged ex-player.
24 March – Atlanta returns WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[starts making plans]
-Sherman
“We’ll see.”
Nobody:
Disney+: “MOAR SUPERHERO SHIT THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE!”
HBOMax: “WE’RE LIKE DISNEY+ EXCEPT OUR SUPERHEROS SWEAR AND SHOW NUDITY!”
Give me Cam Akers and 40 yards of mule.
Odell Beckhams first playoff TD catch
Took him long enough
That’s Rocking!!!!
Rammmmmitttt!
My bet looks…unwise? THAT NEVAR HAPPENS
The Gospel of Fatthew is not complete.
…and my Amazon Fire Stick just died on me. When they do a fair catch kick and one-point safety, remember to thank me!
Don’t worry Alexa noticed the missing IP and ordered a new Fire Stick. It’ll be delivery by halftime.
Redshirt’s Imaginary Wife: “I never loved you! Good bye, forever!”
(door slams)
Alexa: “You seem to need Female Companionship. I have ordered one and should arrive later tonight.”
Alexa: You’re also low on detergent. Should I add to your shopping cart?
Found this gem today
I think you made an error, there’s no way there’s more than one picture on there.
Let me guess-it’s just Nate Newton smoking tons of weed?
Think OBJ took the Rams receiver group on a boat ride to Catalina island?
Today I watched a documentary about the world of breeding show chickens. I would rather that Team changed its name to the Fancy-ass Chickens than the Admirals, which apparently leaked as the choice
someone add “Designer Cock” to porn searches of the week.
My son had to do 4H when he was in 5th grade, in Bumfuck Georgia. His thing was poultry judging. There are some cool looking chickens, and some weird as fuck crazy chicken people, we learned to our astonishment!
Does Fitz have some crazy stat where he has more tackles than drops or something like that?
Found a funny;
Plain old auto insurance doesn’t do it for me anymore, think I’m gonna give autoerotic insurance a try.
“…….”
— David C., CA
https://twitter.com/aaronladd0/status/1483141461629669385?s=20
Evening. I was having Italian for dinner, and I remembered this meme
No surprise, Hippo prefers it plain.
🤦♂️
Kinda indifferent on who wins here. But I know like the idea of Fatty Matty winning after all those years in Detroit.
Feel the same way-he did a lotta time with a shit organization.
How could Matthew Stafford have a playoff record? He was a Detroit Lion.
WEIRD
That was faster than my prom night.
At least you had a prom night?
Evening Folks
You know what this game needs? Some sex toys thrown on the field
What game doesn’t?
Just got hired back by my same school until the end of the school year, and even got a promotion to full-time! Celebrated by cross-country skiing through the fresh eighteen inches of snow outside my house to the local pharmacy/grocer for some frozen wings to eat during tonight’s game. Huzzah!
I love cross-country skiing.
Sort of hard to do in the frozen mud currently surrounding my house, but the theory of it is nice.
Being reminded of the Eric Weddle thing pushed me over the line to bet Qards.
Wait . . . Jeopardy! is not on?
Will be on at 9:30 Rams Standard Time.
GAMBLOR Update: Bengals D-Line got decimated last Saturday. DT Larry Ogunjobi is on IR and is done and DT Mike Daniels was also knocked out of the game. Also, DE Trey Hendrickson is in concussion protocol so he’s also up in the air. Its so bad, Jesse Bates said he texted free agent and former Bengals DT Geno Atkins to ask about his status. No word on if Tim Krumrie and Dan Wilkinson was also contact, but it sounds like we’re in “when in doubt, wheel them out” territory.
If Derrick Henry does come back and he’s healthy, that’s not good for the Bengals Front 7.
So Chase will have a big game since you’ll be playing from behind?
So long as the Bengals OL can keep Burrow alive, at least.
Well, at least you broke the drought. When the Bengals were up by two scores I was actually wishing for them to emerge from the game relatively unscathed.
To be clear, I was never wishing for them to be scathed, just that once the game got close I wasn’t thinking along those lines anymore.
More people deserve to be scathed, ppl forget that
Yeah, they’re playing with house money. There is no greater feeling than that.
Just getting past the first round is a huge win. As I said previously, anything more is gravy and a smart draft that focuses on the o-line sets Cincy up very nicely for next year.
We also have the four most space in the Salary Cap. So long as Mike Brown doesn’t realize his kids replaced his wallet with Uno cards, we may be able to continue to build through Free Agency.
/every word of this is true
Me: “You really need to stop this hoarding tendency of yours.”
Wife: “I’m getting better-I threw out some expired stuff just the other day.”*
Me: “Uh huh.”
*SHE SAID THIS WHILE DRINKING WATER OUT OF AN OLD (clean, of course) JAR OF SPAGHETTI SAUCE
That jar of spaghetti sauce could hold a hobo liver instead.
Doesn’t count unless you’re using Country Crock margarine tubs as tupperware.
oh man, that was sooooooo my mom growing up!
Also, I had no idea you were related to the Tomsulas by marriage.
There’s a place around the corner I love, great outdoor setup, cool vibe, but I generally have only gone on weekends. Today being MLK Day (fuck you, people that quote him and embarrass him), I went and learned happy hour is 3-5 and includes $6 old fashioneds that are excellent. I had 3. Let’s see some football!
put a bill on Qards ML. +155 is excellent value.
Just signed up on P—Hub where they will find bitches for you. Mostly picked up by strangers or at shelters, where bitches will do whatever you want for a meal or some security.
To clarify, this is PetHub.
“At PetHub, bitches get stitches… if you don’t want them to have puppies.”
Hey, whatever hits your button. We’re not here to judge.
I hope we are all still alive and DFO is still going for Super Bowl LXIX just so Scotchy can get all pissed off.
HAH! Balls is nothing if not a forward thinker.
Pour one out for Lispy McGee? And have a chuckle imagining him trying to say/spray absinthe.
Pleathhh have empathhhy for Mayock.
The Raiders shit can Gruden buddy Mike Mayock. I’m sure he’ll find a cushy tv job somewhere. Sounds like they’re going to hire a GM with full football power.
They need to go the full JJ route. New GM:
HI! I’M MARK DAVIS!
With their first pick of the NFL draft, the Raiders select Marcy Andrews, server Las Vegas P.F. Chang’s.
Sexy Friday just came early…and so did I.
Honestly he deserves a cushy TV job – he was good at it!
Ex St. Louis vs Ex St. Louis
The locals are calling it the Ex Wives Bowl
I honestly don’t know who I want to win this. I guess go buzzsaw?
I prefer RRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! (plus is fun mocking Fatthew), but I think Chandler Jones might eat MRSA Dreamboat and shit him out live.
So…GO QARDS.
If you dig Bon Jovi, and hate the NGCP, hoo boy
https://twitter.com/willcain/status/1483156893048709127?t=6wpTHMPfnhf3vfkl57jIqA&s=19
Wow, I’m exactly the opposite!
Oh that’s tremendous!
There’s Peter King oblivous, and then there’s the king:
https://twitter.com/actioncookbook/status/1483216858127998978/photo/1
Incredible.
He is a moran.
Some hero has already updated his Wiki page to cover this.
How? How could he possibly do this? I was aware of that “black friends” joke 30 years ago while having a fight with my racist sister.
I’m convinced that Rovell is way over on the spectrum, at whatever point “I have absolutely no social awareness” and “I am interested in business and can discuss it” intersect.
But wait there’s more!
https://mobile.twitter.com/darrenrovell/status/1483116413061578754
Fatthew could be too fat FOAR hats. Is that good or bad juju?
Juju was never bad. Injured, yes. Dumb, yes. But not bad, per se.
I believe this could have been the Spam/Blax Derby, but I think Blax left the Cards for the Raiders when he moved.
I could be wrong.
Is Sos a Rams fan? I know Internet Dad was, but (rightly) ditched them when they screwed over St. Louis.
RAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIT
Please rise for our national anthem:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZO8Zeye5K0&t=33s