Better Know a Random Squardon – Temperley (Saturday All Day Thread)

Hey, y’all.  It’s still July.  We may be only ONE WEEK from a Baltimore meetup (but we are all shitty planners, so details still TBD).  In the meantime, I need sommet to write about.  Hey, why not Argentina’s own Temperley?  Technically, they are Club Atletico Temperley – or C.A.T.  You can see why they appeals to a Hippo.

Fun fact – they play Hippo y Litre GAMBLOR talisman Deportivo Moron TONIGHT!

They play in Argentina’s Primera Nacional (2nd tier), and generally seem kind of fodder-ish.  Up and down, like a Sudamericano Fulham?  C.A.T. is in Buenos Aires, much like Fulham being a London club, but one not rolling in big city dollars.

Did I read their Wikipedia page?  I did.  Did I learn the square root of fuckall?  I sure did.  River Plate, this club sure ain’t.  But that’s why we are here, begging for entertainment options in this dire futbol desert.

Fun fact numero dos!  You could call them Traps FC!

They also gave Pretend Man City a decent pre-season match, July of 2156.  Fuck you, YOU have a problem.

Back in reality, Group C takes the reins in the Ladies’ European Euros.  That means Portugal (no Ronaldo in drag) and Switzerland early (11;50, ESPN+) and Lady Dustbins (NAWT misogynistic) against the mighty and sexy Swedes (2:30, ESPN2) during peak naptime.  Always such an intense battle, when the inner pervert takes on the “old man needs all the sleep” – which has really become my dominant persona.  Fuck me, I am so tired.

BONUS ROUND Old Man Yells At Cloud!  I am not watching el beisbol this season, but I have a vague idea of certain goings on from The Athetic headlines.  Yes, Intergalactical Disgrace Rob Manfred – you want to make the game more compelling to the next generation of viewers?  Put in two extra players on the all-star game roster (which is annually shambolic as is) who have basically been stealing a living since 2017.  And that’s a generous assessment of these sub-replacement level, geriatric slugs.  Why not see if Diamond Joe wants to pitch?  Fuck you, Manfred, and fuck your stupid, dying sportsball league.

I am out of the things to say.  Thank you for stopping by Hippo’s brain.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Who has two thumbs and got close enough to the stage to catch some spittle from Wayne Brady tonight? Not that he was spraying spit or anything; the guy’s a pro. But if he *were* to do so, I’d have gotten a face full.

BeefReeferLives

Another rocking station from S. Aussssssivile

http://radio.garden/visit/apollo-bay/-cxiB5Ml

yeah right

I know this old school Italian grocery that’s been open for 50 years give or take. I had a really specific menu in mind and they had everything I was looking for.

I’m waiting at the butcher counter as one is accustomed to and the person in front of me is pure fucking Jersey.

First of all she asks for 5 pounds of parmesan.

Butcher asks “Domestic or Reggiano?”

She looks at me and I say immediately “Reggiano.”

She gives me the nod and says “Reggiano.”

Butcher weighs up 5 FUCKING POUNDS OF CHEESE and it’s like 107 dollars.

She gives me the sunglasses tilt and the side eye.

I respond with “Domestic is good too.”

Last edited 2 years ago by yeah right
BeefReeferLives

I think you got some cred. The real Parm reg is worth it.

BeefReeferLives

Rockin it ol skoo in Woori Yallock tonight yo

http://radio.garden/visit/woori-yallock/EyhJMaZF

BeefReeferLives

.

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yeah right

[Taps chrystal wine goblet]

Hello.

Hello everyone.

I have a movie recommendation for the entire clubhouse and I’m pretty confidant it will work for all of you.

Everything, Everywhere, All at Once.

That is all.

I’m a blubbering fucking mess over here but it was awesome.

TheRevanchist

What comic is this movie from? Spider-Man? Elektra? Alpha Flight?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

UPS package arrived at 8:59 PM. So not exactly delivered by 7pm (and not exactly signature required either but whatevs).

Brick Meathook

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WCS
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Back in the pre-google days, got into quite a few arguments on if it was Green Jelly or Green Jello.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It originally was Green Jell-o, but then they got sued, if I remember correctly.

Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Gumbygirl

I had forgotten about this! I’m old, I forget a lot of things.

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WCS
Gumbygirl

Hell yeah! Listen to your Nana!

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Brick Meathook
Last edited 2 years ago by Brick Meathook
Gumbygirl

Nice job, airedale!

yeah right

My lead at work was swearing by this food prep thing he had done and I said “Cool. Inspiration.” I gave it a real test in the Sunday Gravy test kitchen BUT I made my own prep of the same dish using my ingredients and experience.

I love this man like a brother but holy shit it wasn’t even fair.

The good news for him is he’ll have plenty of his product to take home when I hand it to him on Monday.

Good news for me is I discovered a fucking awesome new cooking technique.

I’ll share the details soon.

Last edited 2 years ago by yeah right
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Are we still bitching about UPS today? Because they told me a signature required package was arriving yesterday (fact check: pants on fire) and has been “out for delivery” today since 11am and would be delivered for sure by 9 minutes ago. I don’t even need this item right meow, but I don’t want them attempting delivery right after I leave and then I can’t get it til the workweek.

WCS

I knew the company my brother works for was sending him to Tokyo for something or other, I didn’t know it happened to be the exact same day Abe was shot.

That’s uh… timing I guess?

Brick Meathook

He can watch a cool funeral!

WCS

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Brick Meathook

Disneyland parking lot, 1973

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yeah right

My dad’s VW microbus is probably parked there somewhere.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You look different

yeah right

That’s Brick on the right. You got distracted by dude in the middle.

scotchnaut

His belly button rocks!

ArmedandHammered

I love the halter top and fox fur stole look. Edited out the Florida bit as I realized later that I was incorrect.

Last edited 2 years ago by ArmedandHammered
Gumbygirl

My Grandmother had a neighbor in Florida with pretty much the same look, including the bubble hair. She lit a cigarette in her bathroom after a copius spray(s) of Aquanet and set the house on fire.

scotchnaut

This is my favorite anecdote. Don’t tell the others.

ArmedandHammered

Just wanted to share the headline.

Gumbygirl

Why is Peter Gabriel writing fluff pieces for USA Today?

yeah right

Nice food centric day. It’s only 77 out so I don’t feel too bad about running the oven.
Plus I found a “food unicorn” that I wasn’t sure I’d be able to find.

No actual unicorns were harmed.

yeah right

Oh shit! Actually I found 2 food unicorns one of which I could sell for serious coin on the black market.

Game Time Decision

Pills ARE food
-Hippo, probably

scotchnaut

Announcer: “Elena Ryakina is the first person from Kazakhstan to win a major title.”

Me: “Wow. I had no idea she was a Captain! Brigadier General is only two more tourney wins away!”

WCS

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Just so many questions, chiefly, what’s toll to get in?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Enough with the upselling! I’m perfectly satisfied with my original purchase.” – Marc Trestman

WCS

Ugh. Take your +1, and I’m going to take an hour shower.

blaxabbath

Generational difference: drove by the house we sold to some California kids before our Vegas move a few years ago. They don’t use the $150/year irrigation that let’s that property have grass and that huge pecan tree in the back and the trees are unkempt.

But at least they put up a pride flag.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Ha ha, what a bunch of…”

[glances outside at own unkempt yard]

Brick Meathook

It’s those darn homosexuals.

Brick Meathook

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, I just learned that Truth Social <i>doesn’t even have an Android app yet</i>. The incompetence of these people truly is mind-blowing.

WCS

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You’re saying the person that made might have mental issues?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It sucks that the redhats have ruined fun concepts like “guy riding on a dinosaur firing a machine gun” by adding that turd’s face to them.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I was confused what some of those flags on Twitter profiles were. I just thought a lot of tall women liked cotton candy

BC Dick

I somehow (whisky) ordered a French DVD of the movie The Lobster. It said “bilingual”’ on amazon so I figured it was just the usual Canadian version. Hoped it had the English version too but it won’t even work in my DVD player because of regional some such garbage.
What the hell is going on with that? I’ve heard of it but is it some sort of movie trafficking deterrent? Rights probably but goddamn what a Stupid thing. I bought it with real money from someone who bought it originally. At some point the money went to those frogs so what the hell is the issue? They got paid, I should get to watch my bleeding movie. I need a drink.

Dunstan

Whisky got you into this mess, it can get you out.

“Alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.” — H. J. Simpson

BC Dick

That Simpson fella has some good ideas. Whisky has, indeed, solved the problem. I’m now drunk and don’t care and am watching English murder shows on public broadcasting.

Gumbygirl

It’s lines of resolution. Different countries use different amounts. When we moved to Scotland, we brought a tv and a vcr with us, but couldn’t use them to watch Scottish tv or videos. We just used it for American movies that we brought with us.

BC Dick

Mm that’s interesting. I still think it’s a hill of beans. They can convert old film to digital and gays to straights but not resolutions? Beans, I tell ya.

Game Time Decision

DVDs can be locked by geographical area. The DVD player is also region aware. So, dvd players sold in North America will only play unlocked or Dvds for NA. Same for Europe and other regions. 1000% bs

herodotus450

Just type “the lobster movie streaming” into Bing and watch it for free I guess

TheRevanchist

Pretty sure I have pink eye. I don’t like it.

Horatio Cornblower

Pictured: TheRevanchist

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BC Dick

No one mocks Mike Douglas for getting throat cancer from eating too much pussy but this guy puts his face in a few asses after a big dinner at Friendly’s and he gets strung up mercilessly. Unfair.

Horatio Cornblower

Life is truly cruel.

Horatio Cornblower

Also this should be the next banner.

Gumbygirl

Eating too much pussy is not a sentence in English, Richard.

WCS

Pictured: TheRevanchist on Tueday:

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scotchnaut

The Revanchist shrunk three sizes that day.

rockingdog

Found a funny;

We will see the Minions usurp Mickey Mouse in our lifetime. Let us pray for a peaceful transition of power

blaxabbath

The Paw Patrol must have an enormous budget.

blaxabbath

So I’m taking care of the kid today and nursing the sick wife. She’s a nurse and I’d say has generally good judgement (insert guy drinking can of Bud Heavy hollering, “then how’d she end up with YOU!?” And everyone has a hootin’ knee-slappin’ roar that you can’t respond to because now the whole flow is dead and there’s a reason Tucker doesn’t take callers) and….

Now I lost my train of thought.

Don T

Smells like a doting and patience-building* day.

* weed, weed day.

blaxabbath

She’s actually got an IV girl over.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The closest I ever came to having an Ivy girl over was when I hooked up with a lass who was wearing a “Harvard” sweatshirt.

BC Dick

Sounds right. Nurses are the top of the heap as far as humanity goes. No way one could nurse a pro nurse to their standards.

Sharkbait

I started preparing for Baltimore by binging old episodes of Homicide. That’s the proper move right?

Last edited 2 years ago by Sharkbait
blaxabbath

One answer and I never ever want to hear some 17 year old’s podcast say any different.

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Don T

The scene when Bunny takes the inner-city kids to a fancy restaurant must be required viewing, Clockwork Orange style, for anyone who thinks poor people are lazy folks who make bad choices.

Gumbygirl

I think John Waters’ movies would be the best prep for this crowd.

Last edited 2 years ago by Gumbygirl
Horatio Cornblower

Ma’am, all due respect but I am not going to Baltimore to eat dog shit.

Gumbygirl

Shit happens.

BC Dick

If you’re going to Baltimore your mouth is already full. Once you arrive is when the chewing starts.

Horatio Cornblower

Just finished ‘We Own This City’

I do not think that the Baltimore Chamber of Commerce had final edit on that one.

blaxabbath

“Only better trans is a deader trans.”

-Sill Bimmons

Sharkbait

We do suck at planning. At least we have people comitted. We just need to pick a base of operations.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If only we had a local on the ground to advise us….

Horatio Cornblower

I’ve tried to trick Mrs. Cornblower into taking over the planning. it’s not going well.

Brick Meathook

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WCS

DAD ACHIEVEMENT MODE UNLOCKED

Doktor Zymm

I want to set up some sort of corporate Thunderdome where companies that I hate are forced to battle to the death, and then we, the spectators execute the winner. Today’s episode: UPS vs PG&E
I expect PG&E will attempt to set UPS on fire, but UPS will be late and at the wrong Thunderdome so will emerged unscathed. They will arrange to battle at some lockers behind the dome, but the lights will be out so both companies will declare bankruptcy while stealing the ticket money from the till.

blaxabbath

All in asking for is a little market competion.

2Pack

I got nuthin.

Google search for hawt CAT fans = nuthin.

Google search for CAT cheerleaders = less than nuthin.

I got nuthin.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anyone in DFO live in Alabama?

litre_cola

You moving again?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nah

Horatio Cornblower

Nobody “lives” in Alabama; they just exist.

2Pack

No but I heard in Birmingham they luv the Guvner.

Last edited 2 years ago by 2Pack
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oooh oooh ooh

Gumbygirl

Guvner Meemaw is a closeted lesbian, and an all-around Nazi bitch.

Last edited 2 years ago by Gumbygirl
Brick Meathook

I live in Alabama. No wait! I meant California. Sorry.

Gumbygirl

We did! Birmingham was cool, but as soon as you left the city limits…[cue banjo music]

blaxabbath

DFO is how Alabamans spell Moon.

Horatio Cornblower

The “Kazakh” is doing great in the Wimbledon final.

Good thing they banned all the Russians.

litre_cola

Born, raised, lives in Moscow….

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s not fair, she got her Kazakh citizenship in 2018.

blaxabbath

I got one of those joints with the tip dipped in wax. I had a hell of a time lighting it and the wax dripped on my finger and blistered me. It was a mess.

Is this why i need one of those fancy torch lighters the guys at the cigar lounge use?

2Pack

That or an old school roach clip.

Brick Meathook

Put down the wacky tabacky and get your ass to church and start praying.

Gumbygirl

.

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scotchnaut

That finger in his ass oughta get him on the road to proper thinking.

blaxabbath

No I mean, it melted the wax on the exterior but the j didn’t take until the dripping started. I hypothesized the torch gives a quicker higher burn — like a sharp blade vs a dull.

Don T

What?! It’s a joint, not a XIXth Century testamentary codicil.

blaxabbath

I took up weed late in life. Missed a lot of hands on learning in the illegal days (well I was upper middle class white so it wouldn’t have applied to me anyways but I still didn’t partake) and now I’m bad at troubleshooting.

Brocky

Status: Still drunk

Horatio Cornblower

Your hangover is going to be massive.

For that reason I suggest never sobering up.

blaxabbath
Brocky

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litre_cola

I am all about Velez Sarfeld. They sell fertilizer on their website. No scarves though…

Fronkenshteen

Rest In Peace to a real one.
https://youtu.be/qxddINwarJk

Last edited 2 years ago by Fronkenshteen
2Pack

A class act.

yeah right

“Those Parker House rolls? They belong to my Ma.”

Paulie loved his Ma, until he didn’t.