Your “It’s Here! It’s Finally Here!” Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Is anyone else horny, er, excited? It’s been such a wait and by golly, the scheduler-makers got this right by blasting a potential Superb Owl matchup directly into our eyeballs. (I, for one, will completely forget about this feather in their cap while being forced to watch a turgid early morning offering from London later on this year) Seems a bit odd that one of these powerhouses will exit this tilt sporting a big “L” on their permanent record.

Many, many kudos to all the folks on the site that provided content and who commented all through the dog days. It’s quite the accomplishment that all that combined effort kept this “football-specific” site alive and thriving through yet another offseason. But hey, it’s not really about the football anymore now is it? Sure, we lean that way but the talent on board has taught us all kinds of disparate things and kept commenters engaged when they might have hoofed it elsewhere. Huzzah!

To The Motherfucking Game!

Bills/Rams:

-There’s so much damn star power featured here!

-I’ve mentioned it in the past but I do give a nod of the head to any team that’s this close to a championship going out and getting more ammo. The Bills grabbed Von Miller so that they have extra firepower on D and the Rams likewise grabbed Bobby Wagner and A-Rob. That’s the way you do it.

-The news broke a while ago regarding Stafford’s elbow/arm issue but I swear I’ve read about this in the past. It just didn’t strike me as that big a deal. Perhaps it was because the news was coming out of (eww!) Detroit in the past and folks forgot or didn’t care in the first place?

-We’ve got some official Pomp and Circumstance happening afore the game in the form of a Rams Superb Owl Banner Unveiling! Will there be fireworks? Will the smoke from those fireworks create a haze over the field during kickoff? I’m only asking questions.

-If the Bills win this it will be the very first time that the Rams will be under .500 at any time during McVay’s tenure with the club. Yup, they’ve won every opener and haven’t stumbled from there.

-The Bills have slightly rebuilt their o-line and should be tested by the Rams formidable front. (by that I mean Aaron Donald-who the hell knows the other guys that play on that unit?) I do think that if Donald does get a paw on Josh Allen the latter won’t go down as easily as that namby-pamby Joe Burrow did at the end of that last pertinent game that we all saw.

-Van Jefferson is out so we’ll be treated to the likes of Tutu Atwell and Ben Skrowneck(?)

-The Bills have a bit of a dilemma in that cb Tre’Davious White was sent off for PUP training and so will be gone for 4 weeks. Rook cb’s Elam and Benford-who have impressed in camp, but hey, they’re rooks-might see a wee bit more field time than they might be ready for. Advantage: Rams.

Well, I came here to drink some Genesee Cream Ale and bust some tables and I’m all out of beer. Gotta go-your turn.

 

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Recovery Whiskey

Pour out a Gin and Tonic for the Queen. Did NBC play Morrissey / Smiths or Sex Pistols?

fleshwound_NPG

best version of god save the queen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa1wdUkeuvE

jjfozz

Never sure why Nestle’s Toll House Cookies didn’t do an endorsement deal with Lemmy, cause, you know.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It would have been cool if Queen Elizabeth had had a list of “secret knightings”. Like, people she gave knighthood to but never told the public about. Fred Durst, Wayne Rooney, etc.

WCS

George Dub I, Clinton, W., Obama, and Biden

King Hippo

Or that monthly angry pegging of Snoop Dogg she done

SonOfSpam

That’s Martha’s gig.

jjfozz

Nipsy Russle. Bob Hale. Gumby.

jjfozz

This a picture of my grandfather. Yes, he has a raw steak in his mouth. He probably had already slammed a sixer of Bud and smoked half a pack of Camel filterless. I grew up across the street from him, and this is why I am the way I am.

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jjfozz

Another one of his tricks: he’d put ketchup in a napkin, then pull a door open, but have his foot in front so it didn’t really hit him. Then he’s smash the napkin in his face, which looked like blood. His mother, my great grandmother, would start screaming hysterically in Italian.

fleshwound_NPG

the bills turning the ball over, a former detroit lion throwing ints

ah, a classic thursday night game!

WCS

Stap Fatford

SonOfSpam

Sorry, liver. Gonna be a rough night.

King Hippo

Hmmm, maybe Fatty DOES need that throwing elbow.

Spur

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LemonJello

White shorts were a poor choice for that kid.

JimU

It feels good to have football back.

King Hippo

Even when it’s bad, it’s REALLY GOOD

Gumbygirl

Oh, Fatthew.

King Hippo

Tis the Gospels!

jjfozz

That rookie is getting duct taped to a urinal after that game

Redshirt

Preseason: “Buffalo is so talented. Why aren’t they able to put it all together?”

Season: “Oh, yeah. That’s why.”

LemonJello

Buffalo churning out turnovers like they’re trying to feed Andy Reid.

King Hippo

yup that’s out pre-knee

fleshwound_NPG

like i said, these are still the bills

jjfozz

Did anyone know that it’s hot in California? I heard it’s hot.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s only 99° today! A much-needed respite.

King Hippo

Is it also on fire?

Gumbygirl

It’s on fire. Literally.

Spur

it was hotter in Sacramento today than Vegas.

Gumbygirl

Some Billy!

SonOfSpam

Fuck yeah new Knives Out movie

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Sign me up!” – Ray Lewis

jjfozz

Quantum Leap is back. Was there actually an airborne drop during that war? I can’t believe there was. Who parachutes into the desert?

Redshirt

I just wish they explained why Sam Beckett leapt in a NCIS agent in New Orleans, or why he leapt nearly 200 years into the future as a space captain. I have questions!

Duchess

He never got the accent right so he was stuck until New Orleans

Duchess

Can’t wait for the episode where he leaps into a racist golfer who won’t play with a young Tiger Woods

clint greasewood

It feels great to be back amongst you fine gentlemen.

WCS

STOP CALLING US THAT

King Hippo

Does Clint like to RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT??

clint greasewood

Bills all the way

Gatoraids

Puds Mackenzie

fleshwound_NPG

look, its not as silly as people a couple of years ago saying the browns were a sleeper team to make the super bowl, but with that int you gotta remember, these the bills

jjfozz

If anyone is wondering how that fucking insane dog we got last year is doing. I direct you to Exhibit A.

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SonOfSpam

Posing like DeShaun getting a massage.

Gumbygirl

Has she calmed down a little?

jjfozz

A bit. Still has a lot of puppy in her.

SonOfSpam

Cole Beasley woulda caught that (and used the n-word)

King Hippo

Yeah, that’s the McKenzie I remember muffing punts for Donks WOO!

Senor Weaselo

I entered the suicide pool what’s the picks pool?

King Hippo

I benched Fatty for Charmslinger, so I look forward to gritting my teeth through his garbage time yardage.

Recovery Whiskey

You think he’s lighting Seattle up. Hope you’re right

Mr. Ayo

The Bills are never losing again.

jjfozz

This is called a scold’s bridle. A torture device from medieval times. People back then didn’t have an outlet like pro football so, this is how they occupied their time.

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King Hippo

Hey man, just put it on and dance. Ain’t nobody paying you to talk smh

Spur

Still need to make my picks for this week.
Did A-Ron attend all 10 days at Burning Man this year. Or left early?
Jalen Hurts starting for Philly? No receivers hurt yet?

Duchess

Rodgers took so many shrooms he thinks he is on the field right now

The Maestro

“All the Small Things” as bumper music? Inspired choice, NBC.

Guess they’re really trying to lean into tonight’s theme of “incessant laughing at British egos”.

King Hippo

But enough about Collinsworth’s micropenis!

jjfozz

Funny story.

My son is playing JV football. At the end of the last game, our QB took a knee and one of the d linemen laid a hit on him.

I commented on what a shit move that was.

My son said, “I was hoping we’d run onto the field and fight. I didn’t really clobber anyone today and that would have made up for it.”

Gumbygirl

That’s yer boy!

jjfozz

He’s 14 and going through that thing called puberty. I take a deep breath every night and remind myself that I was just as big an asshole when I was that age.

jjfozz

Stafford going down like Ginger Lynn

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Missed the first drive. Was it as effortless as the box score suggests?

King Hippo

perhaps MOAR? Don’t think it ever got to 3rd down.

Gumbygirl

Yes. Embarassingly so.

Spur

They did a Bison version of RRRRRAAAAAMMMMIIIITTTT

jjfozz

How old is Von Miller? Christ!

King Hippo

I keep waiting for him to slow down. He does get hurt more often, is all.

LemonJello

Two DBs, One Kupp

King Hippo

well, his fat arm didn’t fall off. YET.

King Hippo

Do they toss dildoes on the road, or is that just a home game thing?

WCS

Guess we’ll just have to watch and see.

fleshwound_NPG

they probably do have home dildos and road dildos

King Hippo

that is well important, for coloUr-blind viewers

Last edited 2 years ago by King Hippo
Redshirt

A slightly, used fleshlight?

King Hippo

Show us your tits, FATTY!

Redshirt

FOR THE LAST TIME, BUY ME DINNER FIRST!!!

Redshirt

Huh, that’s odd. Buffalo scored a touchdown on the Rams, but I still feel the same emptiness I’ve felt after the Super Bowl loss in February.

Let’s have Buffalo score five or six more touchdowns. Just to be sure.

jjfozz

I thought people in LA were too busy injecting collagen into their buttocks to care about football. I guess alot of people came down from Buffalo. TO AVOID THE MIND NUMBING COLD! RIGHT, CRIS?

Gumbygirl

Fozzie! How are you!

Duchess

if Jackson St beats Prairie View Neon Deon might turn into the Joker if the team dumps any of that Jackson MS water on him.

fleshwound_NPG

holy damn that was all easy

The Maestro

Well, once again, NE ain’t winning this division.

WCS

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makeitsnowondem

So, I know a whole lot of people are grieving tonight, and I understand, and I want to be sensitive to that. But at the same time, I think we should be honest about what’s happened today. We didn’t so much lose a person as a symbol of hidebound conservatism and unthinking adherence to tradition, a figurehead best known in the end for ruling over a conspicuous mediocrity and, wait, you’re telling me Jeff Fisher isn’t dead? Fuck, never mind.

jjfozz

I don’t understand the grief here in America. Seriously, I’m not being a dick – well, I am a huge asshole – but it’s not like Tara Reid passed away.

makeitsnowondem

Only one Queen’s death moves me to tears and that’s Freddie Mercury.

WCS

Uh… someone want to tell him, or what are we doing…?

makeitsnowondem

Don’t worry, I saw the movie.

Redshirt

The grief here in the states is a bit too much, but it is sad. She wasn’t supposed to be queen, but when fate called her, she answered and served admirably.

If anything, we can feel for our British siblings.

SonOfSpam

Huh, well.

Rams D looking as good as Bruce Jenner’s D.

jjfozz

I bet it looks like a hot dog that’s been on one of those rollers for too long

King Hippo

Brokeback seems to be doing the RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM(ing) IT.

The Maestro

HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN’, BOYS???

(and ladies! and non-gendered cowpersons!)

THE ENN EFF ELL IS ALIVEEEEEEEE

jjfozz

I got a boner that could drill through Mt. Everest right now

jjfozz

yes Cris, because there’s no fucking summer in buffalo…fucking twat.