Your “Random Thoughts with BFC, Volume 7” Tuesday Night Open Thread

Remember that old SNL sketch “Fecal Matter with your Host, Doug Fecal”? No? Yeah I figured it was just me. It was a solid (heh) talk show format with a specialized host and topic. Well, we ain’t exactly doing Pod Flies Open around here, but what about in written form, maybe say like a mix between Doug Fecal, Jack Handey, Balls’ 25 questions, Rev’s take on Larry King, and I don’t know, my own fucked up mind? With that backdrop I present to you the seventh edition of a potentially recurring irregularly scheduled Random Thoughts with BFC!  Now also (occasionally) in open thread form! If you want to make this interactive, drop a note/question/bon mot in the comments ala my old Mouth Flies Open attempt at an advice column.

• Reverend Mayhem is off tonight, and in fact, we haven’t seen him since a butt-punty, concussy LOLfins team edged out his Bills.  I’m not worried, it’s not like Bills fans have a reputation for insanity (or public ass eating).
• EDITOR’S NOTE: Apparently I didn’t know what day it was. Thanks to BugEyedBoo for being eagle eyed for a change/conscious enough to know what the hell is going on around here.
• Happy New Year! As of Sunday night, it’s now 5783 on the Jewish calendar. Still feels like 5762 was just yesterday.

• Got any good Rosh Hashanah jokes?  I’m still partial to the old classic (paraphrasing from here)–

  Two old men are walking down the street, and as they’re walking past the temple, they hear a strange, loud wailing sound. One old fellow turns to the other and asks, “What the hell was THAT?!” The other guy replies “Well I used to work for a Jewish family, and I happen to know that it was the sound of the Rabbi blowing the Shofar! The first guy then says, “Wow, those Jews sure are good to the help!”

• Honestly, I was always surprised more goyim didn’t try to get in on celebrating Rosh Hashanah and a few other Jewish holidays.  Partly for the extra day(s) off work/school, but also because New Years is awesome and people love excuses for new milestones.  I blame Hallmark for it not catching on more broadly.
• Apparently after he beat Russell Wilson and got BorisNow all excited about maybe earning a new bottle of booze, Geno Smith went out and filed for a trademark on his devastating bon mot–

“They wrote me off but I ain’t write back though.”

• Clearly the man is a poet and the modern thinker of our time.  Is he a quality starting quarterback, though?  That is the question of the season thanks to an offhand comment/wager I made a few weeks ago. As I have proffered, no I do not believe Mr. Glass Jaw is a bonafide starting QB in the NFL.  If he is, I’ve offered to personally deliver a bottle of booze to Borisnow (and no, it’s not an unlimited budget option type of thing). So how about a “Geno Smith: Sucks or Success” Tracker?

• Through Week 3, I would say he’s inching toward success, but again, it’s 17.6% of the season. Regression to the (shitty) mean is very likely.
• I’ll try and keep that sucker up to date, and while I’ll take a look at Geno’s stats, I reserve the right for this to be as subjective as I so choose.  Despite his 300+ yards, 2 TD effort in a loss against What General Sherman Missed, I remain confident. But I’ll acknowledge he’s at least temporarily above the very low bar set for him at the onset of this season.
• This is fucking perfect, seriously, click through the whole thread:

https://twitter.com/alohacatss/status/1574509449255047168?s=20&t=B0UObbn3JgPvVMtz9rUhcw

• I had a vivid dream the other day that I witnessed the President self-administering a COVID test, as I imagine he does (or has someone do) daily. And (again, in my fictitious dream) POTUS kept mucking it up. Like picking up the nasal swab and handling it beyond the stick, touching the fluid in the vial, not swabbing enough, all the no-nos.  It was kind of upsetting.
• Speaking of a different Joe, on MNF this week Joe and Troy kept talking about how Giants wideout David Sills V has had to overcome substantial obstacles to earn his shot at getting targets. I can’t qwhite put my finger on if they would say the same thing about a different receiver, especially since I don’t think there has EVER been a “the fifth” of anything (non-booze category) that had a toughscrabble upbringing. Maybe I should put away my jump to conclusions mat and see how hard of a life this kid has had to make it to the top of the Giants depth chart–looks like his dad, David Sills IV, is an ubersports parent and I’m sure totally unrelated to him topping out at playing NCAA football for VMI, hired Ben Roethlisberger and Matt Leinart’s “QB Guru,” Steve Clarkson at the old age of TEN FUCKING YEARS OLD, Lane Kiffin tried to recruit him as a prepubescent teenager (thought that was a Penn State move), his dad proceeds TO START A FOOTBALL TEAM AT AN ONLINE ONLY HIGH SCHOOL (which you know, didn’t work because the school wasn’t fucking accredited), then he had some bs at USC, went to Cousin Fuckers U, transferred to JuCo and then back to WVU, that’s enough. It sounds like his “hardships” were a knuckle injury and his father.  Real tough fucking life.  Glad he’s wearing OBJ’s #13, no notes.
• Oh, and with Sterling Shepard lost for the season to a brutal knee injury, guess he’s got to step up even more.
• In more positive notes, the Bungles revealed their all white unis today.  Joe Exotic would be proud/aroused.

Once upon a time… pic.twitter.com/fRr5Fnx1bW

— Cincinnati Bengals (@Bengals) July 26, 2022

• That’s not enough to get me excited about Thursday Night Football, but thanks for trying, I guess.
• Mrs. BFC and I need to buy a new TV, and I am NAWT up on the new trends.  A Frame looks cool but pretty expensive and some mixed reviews out there. In terms of the latest alphabet soup, I don’t know my OLED vs QLED, when 8K is worth it compared to 4K, and if any of it matters beyond “don’t get something you picked up from Jim Tomsula.”  So any TV recommendations from this august group?
• As a PSA, remember that we approve all users before they can post.  We’re doing that manually, so if you’re a real human who tried to sign up with a bikinimodel.com domain email address, email [email protected] so we can remedy the error.  [email protected], I’m talking to you, too.
• It is unreal how many Thai and Russian email addresses we’re seeing, it’s enough to get DeShaun Watson suspended another 2 minutes of football or so.
• I’m glad the Brett Favre is a welfare stealing scumbag story has gotten a second wind.  I’ve been an early rider on the “Brett Favre is a Piece of Shit” bandwagon, so I’m glad the rest of the world has caught up. Fuck that guy, hard.

• It’s not just the volleyball thing (and apparently also football), it’s not just the speaking appearances he didn’t show up for that ALSO took taxpayer funds for, it’s overall being a terrible person who has never had any repercussions.
• Of course, there are victims here, those directly screwed in Mississippi and the collateral damage often left in the wake of powerful dudes who don’t give a shit what happens to others as long as they get theirs. Reading Jennifer Sterger’s thoughts right after this broke was a poignant reminder of how shitty we are at holding the right people accountable and looking out for the victims.
• Alright, something positive/the fill in the blank I promised to conclude these posts with: Now that the Queen is dead, I can’t wait to see King Charles III ____________.

What’s on tonight?

Pre-season hockey, a bunch of soccer, and some guy’s mom continuing to get mad.  Yankees are on at 6:07 PM DFO time, so expect whatever live hurricane coverage you’re watching to get interrupted since they’re are only 9 games left in the season to put even more ungodly pressure on a generational talent.

And why can’t any of these hurricanes train their eyes on Mar A Lago?  Regardless, someone wake me when Judge homers.  TO THE COMMENTS!