The very last multiple days doubleheader weekend is upon us but we should be grateful because all the matchups look really good or at least interesting. Will I avoid day-drinking so that I can watch the night game? YOU BET!
To The Game!
Jags/Chiefs:
-Much like the Giants the Jags are playing with the proverbial house money, far exceeding their own and everyone else’s expectations. Though they can improve, this season has been a raging success by any metric one can imagine.
-Much is being made of Chris Jones being sackless in all the playoff games he’s played in. (kinda hard to imagine, tbh) But the edge fella that might end up being the most disruptive is rook George Karlaftis. He was very slow off the mark at the beginning of the season but has 5.5 sackaroos in the last 7 games.
-Bad News Aplenty: Speaking of defensive players struggling, let’s shine a light on Jags rook lb Devin Lloyd, who was playing so badly in the week 10 game vs these Chiefs that he was pulled in the 2nd half. Jacksonville is dead last in the league in DVOA vs tight ends and throws to the short middle of the field. Looks to me like Kelce should have one of those 12 catch, 130 yard, 2 TD games.
-I Did Not Know This: Reid was the qb coach when Pederson was the 3rd string ball tosser for the Packers in the ’97 and ’98 seasons.
Time For Another: Four of the Jags last eight wins have required a 4th quarter comeback.
-The Guy Sees The Field Well: According to Next Gen Stats, Mahomes has successfully scrambled 119 times in a row without getting sacked. In that game back in week 10 he scrambled 5 times for 40 yards.
-Along with Karlaftis, the Chiefs will be relying on rooks in key positions that obviously have no playoff experience. Slot corner Trent McDuffie, Isiah Pacheco and 7th round cb Jaylen Watson are breaking their playoff cherry. The same is also true of Kadarius Toney who will be replacing the injured Mecole Hardman.
Have at it.
Tuck rule!
Outro music next time around?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRZ-IxZ46ng&ab_channel=JayB7869
Skip To My Lou lyric video for kids – YouTube
I’m going to Hell for this one.
Breaking ankles isn’t a thing in footy as it is in basketball.
Production screaming in ear to Collinsworth to not to make a Battle of Wounded Knee reference.
https://twitter.com/cdgoldstein/status/1616917293581074433
For the love of Griffin, put in Henne!
This seems foolish. Get him out of there, they didn’t even look at it.
Looked like someone fell on his ankle and twisted it a bit. As someone who has destroyed both my ankles in vastly different ways, he’s putting weight on it, nawt all that bad.
“You forgot about me, maybe.”
-Adrenaline
Twisting your ankle always gives an adrenaline jolt, to the point you can feel it running through your system. Neither adrenaline nor large amounts of alcohol takes away that collapsing feeling of a joint that can’t hold your weight.
That wasn’t ankle. As someone who watched replays of Palmer and Burrow, that really looked frighteningly familiar.
Eh, what do I know.
Sit the fuck down Mahomes.
Oh hell yes, my Duval bet likes this.
Jags gave Mahomes knees gonorrhea
Mahomes genuinely lucky he didn’t get Theismann’d right there.
lol no way
Ded Frog!
gonna need to rub SO MUCH sum dirt on it smh
RUH ROH
Oh, shit.
(trance-like monotone) “The Narrative. All hail, The Narrative.”
Can we not do this NBC? JUST STOP
Live Shot at the Kansas City sideline:
Christian Kirk should do endorsements for the Church of Scotland
I wish the Manningcast were going on so Eli could explain to us the difference between the good touch shown by Prison Girlfriend on that pass and a bad touch.
Eli: “A good touch is when the quarterback throws a pass into a tight window. A bad touch is when my uncle took me into his garage and he…”
(feed cuts to static)
Will there be dolls?
Not a blowout yet!
I’m impressed-they had to capitalize on that special teams gain, and they did.
Damn, what a throw
It’s going to be a very cold day when I kill and gut Cris Collinsworth, so I can warm my hands on the steam that rises from his rotten guts.
He is the worst fucking thing in the world.
He is the corn in the diarrhea of life.
that last line is pure poetry
I made Gumby take off his headphones so I could read it to him. He also read Fozzie’s post earlier. The Gumby’s are Team Fozz!
I miss Tiny Darren
Look at you, Agnew!
So much better than Spiro!
I have a Spiro Agnew trash can in my bedroom. It always makes me laugh!
That is fantastic! I always kind of half-wanted-but-not-really-cause-it-would-be-creepy Nixon wallpaper, but I think a Spiro trashcan is the perfect balance!
I can’t find it on Wiki but I remember reading that he was weirdly obsessed with drivers speeding on Maryland’s highways while he was governor. Patrol cars would drive side-by-side on major highways at the speed limit (driving the length of the highway to the border and then turning back again to do it in the opposite direction) and he ok’d the retro-fitting of RV’s (that would sit on the side of the road) to have speed guns. wth…
Maryland has some of the shittiest drivers in the country (second only to Northern Virginia) so he may have single handedly created road rage
I imagine he’d be okay with that legacy, rather than the other one.
I’m starting to feel like April 27, 2018, as I’m watching a screen and have a feeling I’m going to be watching all my bets involving the Jaguars covering the spread crumbling into dust.
How did Jacksonville get into the playoffs? Geez. It’s like watching toddlers trying to chase the family dog.
God I hate the fucking Chiefs.
still, at least theyre a little less annoying than the greatriots
and, even with the chop, waaaay less racist
But I still love you, my little Rikki.
If you can hold out for another decade, I can see Mahomes and I AM THE WALRUS retiring in the same year, leaving the franchise flailing
– Canada’s founding fathers
“Not many people know this but JuJu controls the mainstream liberal media.”
-Kyrie Irving
me: this is a flat out lie
kyrie: you know what else is flat
[looks around nervously] – Dorito Dink
ANOTHER would be banner!
As a DC, I’d be saying “they run that veer again, let ’em have 10 yards, just beat the monkeyshit out of Mahomes”
This is why every DL Depth Chart needs an enforcer like the NHL, who gets a Roughing the Passer when its 1st and Goal, just to let the QB to feel a bit of pain.
A Vontaze Burfict?
Well, yeah, except picking up penalties at times that the team can benefit from and not at times that makes their fans rue the day their franchise was founded.
go birds https://twitter.com/treblaw/status/1616911700095111170
Since we’re talking about “frenemies”, I can imagine the bars in Buffalo are full of Bills and Bengals fans all cheering for Jacksonville. Man, tomorrow is gonna feel weird.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
either this is gonna be a quick blowout (without a charger-ing happening) or this is gonna be like a combo of ’95 colts/chiefs and ’96 jags/donks levels of awesome hilariousness
Ok, let’s see a piece on each coaches’ kids. I bet they’re frenemies today too.
Mrs. Reid is teeny, no idea how they ever procreated without smothering,
Well, that just led my brain down a very unpleasant path of imagination
She is handy with crampons and an ice axe for mounting on big Andy.
perhaps he has a special blubber harness, that allows her to somehow be on top? YOU’RE WELCOME
Time for my annual “How in hell is Eric Bieniemy still a coordinator?!” comment.
Well, uh, ask Ron Desantis.
Shh! People in Florida aren’t allowed to say that word anymore! It makes Warrior Jesus cry!
Look, he’s just a little too… uh… well, you see, he just doesn’t look the part. Not a leader of men like, say, Josh McDaniels.
Wow, Reid barely had C-cups back in the 90s
For those of you who doubt the Jaguars will be able to surprise the #1 seed, just remember the Bengals did it last year. A team playing with House Money is a dangerous thing.
Gave away my shift tonight. Beer in hand, ribs and chicken in the smoker, kinda stoned. Rage will happen in the late window.
Right now?
DDDDUUUUUVVVAAAAALLLLLLLLL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HVQ160TF5U
Jags winning this would be a really FUN upset, although it seems unlikely.
Wanna feel super old? No? Well too bad. Mahomes is the second oldest QB remaining in the playoffs. Dak is the oldest.
holy fuckballs, that IS insane
Yep, confirmed. I feel super old now.
I feel that every time I climb stairs. Or take a shit. Hopefully, not at the same time.
It’ll happen eventually-be patient.
I think Prison Girlfriend used extra conditioner this morning. RAWR!
His hair is head and shoulders above Mahomes’.
If Prison Girlfriend and Mahomes had a baby it would be Troy Polamalu
DAMN, too bad we just put up a new banner
I swear there was a pic of Jaxson on post. There are several very brave, serious men and women working behind the scenes to make this happen.
UCLA can go to hell.
Tony Dungy keeps getting skinnier, and I sincerely hope it’s because he’s dying.
Gumby said he put out on social media the nonsense about kids demanding litter boxes in school because they identify as cats. Moron. I loved him when he was a Steeler player, but he is a complete whackjob douchecanoe. I do a dickbong rip in his general direction!
He did. He’s since deleted it and cut-and-pasted an apology, likely written by his agent, in an attempt at damage control.
I hope NBC gets rids of him after the season. In addition to just being a loathsome piece of shit, and possible half-goblin, he adds nothing to the broadcasts.
Tony Dungy is a living, breathing reboot of Dorian Gray, whereby the rot in his soul manifests itself in his physical appearance.
I mean…
That was an NBC show, no idea why he hasn’t been worked into the pre-game, at least.
Jaguras, let’s see what y’all got!
Andy Reid is ready
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kS5WikDhM9U
THIS GUY CHRIS JONES, SCOTCHNAUT IS IMPLYING HE’S A EUNUCH BECAUSE HE’S SACKLESS
I’LL BET HE’S REALLY GOOD AT HITTING THOSE HIGH NOTES IN ITALIAN OPERAS!
/why am I yelling?