Sexy Friday – 20230203

TGIF! Congrats on making it to the first weekend of no football. On the positive side, that means Sunday Gravy is right around the corner, and let me tell you, it’s starting to smell awfully good in the content mines.

Survival – Personal Edition

Today we’re preparing for warmer weather, when we can take our motorcycles out on the roads again. Now, those two wheels of motion aren’t all fun and joy. In fact, they can pose significant danger when not operated properly. Let’s go over just one not so fun scenario: Losing traction!

  • Don’t panic! When the motorcycle starts to skid, stay on the bike and try to regain control. The tires can recover traction and allow you to ride away.
  • Once you realize regaining control is off the table, you want to induce a low side crash where you lay the bike down on its side in front of you. Easiest way to do this is apply full braking front and rear to allow the tires to slide. If you’ve ever seen a high side crash, you know exactly why not to keep fighting the bike at this point. With a high side crash, the tires suddenly gain traction, the bike stands up, and you get tossed up in the air.
  • Fortunately, you’ve accepted the low side crash. Here’s why you separate yourself from the bike and slide on your back. Keep your arms and legs slightly spread and keep your head up so you can see where you’re sliding. You did remember ATGATT? All The Gear All The Time? That’ll make this slide safer, though you will need new gear.
  • Once you stop sliding, hold still for a bit. All that adrenaline might mask an injury. The other helpful benefit of this is you won’t be tempted to stand up with still sliding. That will cause a high side without the help of the bike.
  • Check yourself for injuries. Wiggle those fingers and toes and make sure everything’s still connected and working. After that go ahead and check on the bike. It’ll look like a mess, but it should still be able to get you home.

Congrats! You survived a motorcycle wreck like a pro. Ride safely out there folks!

Click here to get to commenting

Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to what’s most important: Commenting and drinking!

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Mr. Ayo
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yeah right

I’m doing a really fun thing and I’m learning Portuguese.

I’ve fucked around with free lessons and YouTube and shit so some absorption happened.

I’m in a structured course now and I’ve got an 8 day streak.

Swear to God man there was a moment today when something clicked.

I want to keep learning something! For the rest of my life.

Must. Keep. Brain. Sharp!

Gumbygirl

Portuguese seems so much harder than Spanish, I wonder why?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Something to do with butts, I’d guess. Maybe Balls knows?

yeah right

Once you get to the nouns the similarities are there. The pronouns are a bit of work.

yeah right

Checking in late but present and accounted for.

Wow. That week happened.
How we doing folks?

Col. Duke LaCross

I like how conservatives are feeling the need to have to pretend that Idaho, Montana and the Dakotas have anything worth spying on in them.

ballsofsteelandfury

Isn’t that where all our nuclear missiles are located?

yeah right

Oh yes.

Brick Meathook

Not all of them

ballsofsteelandfury

True. They should not be geographically concentrated in one region.

2Pack

Yeah ya bunch of bandwagon clowns

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TheRevanchist

Are drinks under 70 proof even worth my time? I wonder

Beerguyrob

I’ll let my spirit animals answer this for me:

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Last edited 1 year ago by Beerguyrob
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is it just me or is Rob Lowe starting to look like Rachel Maddow’s sister?

Sharkbait

I can see it.

Brick Meathook
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening

Sharkbait

Sup

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just waiting for Redshirt at LAX.

TheRevanchist

Are you wearing a Mahomes jersey?

WCS

Joe Montana/Joey Porter mashup

TheRevanchist

Tom Brady Michigan throwback.

Gumbygirl

That’s just mean!

Gumbygirl

Wait, did I miss something? Is he getting on a plane? Is our sweet Ohio boy leaving the farm for the wicked city?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

He’s my Godot

Brick Meathook
ballsofsteelandfury

Honestly, I love the A380 and In-n-Out so this video is perfect for me.

WCS

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Sharkbait

Speaking of awesome planes, the last ever 747 did a nice design on the way to their customer.

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Brick Meathook

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BugEyedBoo

Trucker joke from a friend. SWIFT== Stevie Wonder Institute For Trucking. Or Sure Wish I Finished Training.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFkBAjkj2JQ

2Pack

Your lesson against double parking in the former Soviet block.

Sharkbait

Live look at me right now

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TheRevanchist

I hear that it’s kind of cold somewhere back east. Probably in the 50’s.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Have you considered staying indoors?

Sharkbait

Weve been keeping our beer in a cooler outside to have extra space in the fridge. I had to bring the cooler inside to make sure the beer didnt explode

scotchnaut

I’ve been reading a book about food and it has quoted from a 1544 tract called Boke of Chyldren. The advice about hiring a wet nurse stipulates, “Ye must be well advised in takyng of a nourse not of yll complexion and of worse maners, but suche as shall be sobre, honest and chaste, well fourmed, amyable and chearefull…no dronkarde, vycyous* nor sluttysshe for suche correpteth the nature of the chylde”.

*turns out that not being viscous has been a positive attribute for quite some time

herodotus450

Chaste wet nurses, no wonder child mortality was so high.

scotchnaut

Try googling ‘wet nurses’ with Safe Search off (for research purposes). It’s one hell of a wormhole that’ll take you anywhere from 90 seconds to three hours to emerge from.

WCS

Translated from this ancient tome:

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Last edited 1 year ago by WCS
Brick Meathook

These gifs are from the archive of my first image posts on KSK, way back when:

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SonOfSpam

“Landed right in the middle!”

=B. Walsh

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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2Pack

Our off season is going to need these

scotchnaut

/pictured

Brett Maher enjoying his favorite hobby.

scotchnaut

Honestly,* if Horatio didn’t rec this joke I would have wandered out into the snow and the -31 Farfegnugen temperature that I’m not enjoying at the moment.

*PFFFT! Are you kidding me?

Horatio Cornblower

I know it’s an illusion

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but that girl diving off the boat looks like she’s about to take one hell of a face plant onto the deck.

Last edited 1 year ago by Horatio Cornblower
ballsofsteelandfury

I REALLY like that velour bikini!

Horatio Cornblower

And I’ll bet you have the legs to make it work!

Brick Meathook

Like this:

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Brick Meathook

The term “Like this:” is used here in the context of “in a similar fashion as” and NOT to be construed as “please click the little plus button.” I don’t need your fucking approval. Yes I do. I hate my mother.

ballsofsteelandfury

I feel like yelling “Dumbass” at her.

WCS

All this is missing is her getting hit in the face with a pie.

Last edited 1 year ago by WCS
SonOfSpam

If you want to see her jam her face in a pie, Mr Ayo has that on his other site.

SonOfSpam

Bless you good sir.

Horatio Cornblower

And not only that, she really did fix the plumbing afterwards!

ballsofsteelandfury

Is it feasible though? At some point, you reach a limit, don’t you?

ballsofsteelandfury

True. A similar thing happens in NASCAR. They lower the speeds artificially through restrictor plates and aero rules.

Bathurst is my favourite track in the world. Whoever came up with that idea was a mad genius.

jjfozz

I started watching Black Panther and hated it. Am I a racist?

herodotus450

Probably; but what’s your opinion on the movie got to do with it?

SonOfSpam

He’s not, because as an Italian he’s already on the bottom rung.

scotchnaut

What about the dirty, hirsute Slovaks? They never get any credit for being the dregs of humanity. And they work so hard at it!

Gumbygirl

Gumby is Slovak. Can confirm the hirsute part.

jjfozz

How do you nicely tell some horrible wench at work to mind her own business?

I was going with “Fuck off and die”, but I like my job

Seriously, this woman is a full blown kook and in addition to being a bible beater – telling me to have a blessed day – her perfume could knock out an orca whale

ballsofsteelandfury

Bless Your Heart is a standard.

Game Time Decision

Complain about the scent to HR

herodotus450

chicks, man

Doktor Zymm

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Keep dry y’all, unless you in the Newer England, in which case hah suckers gotta deal with the crap I put up with for years in Chi before moving!

Senor Weaselo

In fairness, it is brick outside.
/YERRRRP!
//Unties Timbs
///Dick joke

Brick Meathook

Like this:

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WCS

“I am so gettin’ laid tonight. Heh heh. Let me try one more thing to get them real wet..WHA—“

scotchnaut

Gotta admire his experimental approach to Parkour.