Remember that old SNL sketch “Fecal Matter with your Host, Doug Fecal”? No? Yeah I figured it was just me. It was a solid (heh) talk show format with a specialized host and topic. Well, we ain’t exactly doing Pod Flies Open around here, but what about in written form, maybe say like a mix between Doug Fecal, Jack Handey, Balls’ 25 questions, Rev’s take on Larry King, and I don’t know, my own fucked up mind? With that backdrop I present to you the thirteenth edition of a potentially sporadically recurring irregularly scheduled Random Thoughts with BFC! Now also (occasionally) in open thread form! If you want to make this interactive, drop a note/question/bon mot in the comments ala my old Mouth Flies Open attempt at an advice column.
- I opened up a new draft weeks ago expressly for the purpose of typing up a random thought that popped into my head, and then by the time I login-inned and started a new post, I forgot what it was. I hate getting old.
- LitreCola is off tonight–likely doing Canadien things. We’ll come back to that.
- RIP Raquel Welch. Sure, she was old but it still sucks.
- #13 used to be my favorite number. Not to be contrarian about good luck and bad luck, but because I was a big fan of Dan Marino. Now I don’t think I have a favorite number, which is probably healthier. Nah, it’s probably just my old high school football number, similar to Balls.
- Now I tend to think baker’s dozen first; regardless, these random thoughts ain’t stopping at 13 volumes.
- Did everyone have a good Valentine’s/Galentine’s Day? Lady BFC has been under the weather and we’d already planned on dining in/not being suckers so I picked up some soup and we had a quiet evening in. Now if only she celebrated steak and BJ day.
- You ever look at someone else’s laptop on a plane, see what they’re reading, and pull it up yourself to read along. Me neither. But I am curious about this guy I saw doing a deep dive on Linda Perry.
- Also, that’s why I have a privacy screen for my laptop.
- When I was in LA a few weeks ago, I ate a SHITLOAD of donuts. Two related questions: First, has anyone seen the Donut King documentary? And then #2, does an apple fritter count as a serving of fruit?
- My favorite donut is the maple bar, a thing I’d never heard of until I read Youth in Revolt and never ordered on the reg until I moved to LA.
- As you may have heard, the Superb Owl happened. It was a great game for almost four full quarters, but the let them play refs turned into the oh no you didn’t refs and we were denied a 2 minute drill comeback opportunity for Jalen Hurts. What a ripoff. It really leaves a bad taste in your mouth, and now we have to wait nearly 7 months for the next real football action (fuck you, USFL) with the NFL nuggets of the draft and schedule release dropping along the way.
- It’s official–the Bears have purchased the land for their white flight life out in suburbia. Nothing more to say than I think it sucks.
- I briefly read about the controversy around Damar Hamlin‘s coat at the Owl and a) who cares? b) the guy nearly died, he should be able to wear a “what do Jesus and I have in common? We both respawned” fedora and c) why would ANYONE care that Adrian Peterson is offended? What a good Christian who beats children, cheats on his wife, and is a dingus?
- Since the Calgary story went over pretty well in the ping ponging between Litre and me, is it entertaining to hear about the other DFOers I’ve met in person and how those initial rendezvous went down? None are as salacious, but game to share if folks are interested. Litre, I know you’ve got a bunch of amazing travel stories, but do you have any other DFO meetup stories?
- Ok, let’s fill in the blank. LitreCola is taking tonight off from writing the open thread in order to ___________.
What’s On Tonight?
NBA:
Da Bucks at Da Bulls at 6:30PM DFO time on TNT
Wizards at Wolves at 7PM DFO time on NBC (maybe local only)
Clippers at Suns at 9PM DFO time on TNT
NHL:
Devils at Blues at 8PM DFO time on ESPN and ESPN Deportes
College Basketball:
Louisville at Notre Dame (Women’s) at 6PM DFO time on ESPN
Houston at SMU (Men’s) at 6PM DFO time on ESPN2
THE Ohio State at Iowa (Men’s) at 8PM DFO time on ESPN2
Tennessee State at Moorhead (Men’s) at 8PM DFO time on ESPNU
Stanford at UCLA (Men’s) at 10PM DFO time on ESPN2
California at USC (Men’s) at 10PM DFO time on Fox Sports 1
Oregon State at Washington State at at 10PM DFO time on ESPNU
Futbol:
Underaged soccer on Fox Sports 2, ask Matt Gaetz for details as long as he’s putting the OJ in DOJ investigation.
Alright, you savages, to the commenting!
[…] post was actually inspired by BFC’s Thursday Night Open Thread in which he professed his love for the maple […]
Any update from Brick’s donut run?
No maple bars.
Apparently the night shift cops ate them all. There should be some ready for the mid shift.
My favorite number is 2, because it is the only even prime.
I agree that the Bears moving to the ‘burbs is dumb, and at least 2 Lyft drivers that I’ve talked to on the way to O’Hare concur
Soldiers Field just has so much history and class. What a pity.
Eli Manning heard that Racquel Welch died and now he’s worried that without her steady-handed leadership, her juice empire will collapse.
I wonder why there aren’t really grape juice based cocktails? It would be kind of fun to have an alcoholic drink that’s pretending to be a teetotal substitute for sacramental wine
Has socialized medicine made all Candaians soft and that’s why they’ve never won a Stanley Cup? My column at 11.
Or is it all the maple bars?
just finished watching “Danger Close” about the Battle of Tan fought by Aussies and New Zealanders.
Not bad.
Australians are my most favorite people in the whole wide world. I have never met one that I don’t want to drink with.
Also, MRs. Fozz is making cookies, I stole some batter and was called an asshole.
I agree about the Aussies. Don’t get me started on the Aussie ladies.
Ghost Seamus has been haunting them for a while now.
“I NEVER FUCKED A NAZI!”
I was never a fan of Australian men. They were way too competitive about everything. No issues with the women, however.
I have to confess, the accent is like nails on a chalkboard for me. They sound like they’re being strangled.
What to know about toxic chemicals on trains and derailment risk | CNN
If this mess from upriver ends up in my water supply and I die, I’ll send Seamus your love.
If I get superpowers, I promise to use my powers for good. Most of the time.
(artist’s rendering)
“I’m a good person, so doing things for myself counts as ‘doing good’.”
Can’t you just set the rivers on fire again and burn it all off into toxic fumes that’ll somehow make the Browns even worse?
New Director of Community Outreach and Public Relations!
I live across the street from the greatest strip mall in Los Angeles. It’s the only business district around, plopped right in the middle of a residential area. Anything you want is in one of the stores there. The only 24-hour store is a donut shop, so each night 2-4AM the entire police department is parked there – thievery in this neighborhood is quite low.
The point here is I’m going to go get a maple bar. I’ve never had one.
That’s like saying you’ve never had anal…
I’ve never gotten it, no. A couple of thermometers and a camera once, that’s it. No maple bars either.
Thanks to a weird LinkedIn post, I now realize a swath of (younger) people only know Raquel Welch from Andy Dufresne’s poster and that makes me depressed.
Gotdamn kids probably don’t even know that it was supposed to be Rita Hayworth
Told my daughter (23) that Raquel Welch died. She said, “Who?”
At least they don’t think she invented Welch’s Grape Juice
My favorite flick of hers, besides the Musketeer movies, was The Last of Sheila. Gumby liked Fathom, and of course the fur bikini one.
I don’t get the whole being pissed off about Hamlin’s jacket. Really? Maybe he died, went to heaven, Jesus then GAVE him the coat. Maybe it’s a test of our faith.
I have faith. Lots of it. I’m slopping over the sides with faith.
If he did get a sneak preview and saw his boarding pass went down instead of up, he would be kissing His Ass, not giving Him the finger.
I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Litre twice in person now.
The first time, was pre-covid and we met at Brock Street brewing, a local micro-brewery. My wife and kids were both sure that he was a murderer and that it was so fucking strange that I was going to meet someone that I’d met online. While the meeting thing might have been a bit weird, I’m still here, so if a murderer, he didn’t get me, yet. it’s NOT a challenge.
At the bar, we had a few drinks and learneded about each other. It was good to have a face and a voice with a name. I’ll admit that he was using both screen names and real names for some people and that really messed with my head. Names are hard for me for some reason ( too many hits to the head, I’m sure).
He’s a lovely person and have no doubt about the stories he tells from his travels.
I think he got a 24 for the boys weekend he was off to and another of a sour for Mrs Litre. Not sure how many made it home for Mrs Litre.
Hoping to meet more of youz someday, Bleergh willing.
All we know about you is you are a tall drink of water!
Dunstan came over a while back and I repeatedly referred to him by both his real name and his screen name. He was very polite about it.
I think whatever you meet people as is hard to shake, especially when online time is still the largest proportion of interaction
Whenever I meet any of you, you are welcome to call me Gumbygirl. Or Your Majesty. That works too!
I’ve met a few DFOers IRL and even when I know their actual name my first impulse is still to call them by their handle
Everyone is welcome to call me “Loser.”
Ok, this is weird. Everytime I upvote one of your comments, I get that red thing that sez I already voted for this comment, but it doesn’t register. It’s just yours, it works fine when I upvote everyone else. But trust me, I like your comments! Everyone will call you Lovable Loser, because you are awesome! We’re all glad you joined us.
Thanks. It’s a lot of fun to read the comments here and hear from people with similar senses of humor and sports/life interests.
Eric Bieniemy, Commanders wrap up interview for OC position, to meet again Friday, per reports – CBSSports.com
Why? This is the football equivalent of leaving a Five Star Hotel to work at a gas station.
The “Under New Ownership” banner has a great smell to it, though.
you tell me how in fuck the ravens couldn’t nail this guy down – he’s going to DC? i mean come on.
I’m still pissed my team didn’t get Bieniemy, and my team is a year removed from the Super Bowl and one game away from two straight Super Bowls. Just imagine what the Bengals could do because of, instead of in spite of, their coach?
Bieniemy was one of my favorite players for the Bengals in the ’90s, and he played behind Garrison Hearst and Corey Dillon. Even when they sucked, you can still tell he wasn’t phoning it in, like countless others.
Punch the wall
They were breaking shit before the game started.
Thursday: Storms and High near 60.
Thursday Night: Low of 30.
Friday: High of 35.
Saturday: Mid 40s.
Next Week: Mid 50s.
I’ve said before and I’ll say it again, Cincinnati Winter doesn’t just leave, it lets the door slowly close and then the door flies back open with Winter going “AND ANOTHER THING!”
.
I’m 100 miles north of you, and it’s worse. Columbus weather sucks hard. I saw a post on r/Columbus where someone asked, “How do people live here?” and a lot of the answers were, “Yeah, winter here sucks.”
Yeah, I went to Ohio State. 100 miles can be the difference between “light dusting” and “two feet of snow”.
When you stare into the void, Ohio stares back.
— Pennslytucky proverb
batman We both looked into the abyss, but when it looked back at us, you blinked. – YouTube
Ohio to Kentucky
— all of America to Kentucky
People in merlin been talking about how mild the winter is, i’m a lifer and i just know some freaky shit is coming. and we’re gonna get punched right in the mouth.
we are at fools spring now, as it was well above freezing the last few days
It’s been a while, but it still looks like I must release the Kraken.
It’s incredible that you haven’t been arrested “releasing the kraken” in public so many times.
Look, we all know you touch yourself. We all do it. But you don’t need to make an announcement on the Open Thread when you do.
Steak and BJ day is a weekly occurrence for the augmented blondes of Highland Park, TX (a part of Dallas).
As GumbyGirl said in a post a few days ago, they pay for their status with oral sex and regret.
I know Highland Park very well.
You are not wrong.
#2 Houston is giving SMOO the business.
Litre Cola is taking tonight off from writing the open thread in order to throw batteries at the Revanchist.
I need them for the gently used fleshlight.
Again, no fleshlight is ever gently used, unless someone doesn’t know how to do the sex.
Then, yes, it is gently used from Litre.
In Vegas. Heading to all I can eat shortly. And portly.
Smash that buffet!
Galentine’s Day is redundant because Valentine’s Day has ALWAYS been about the girl.
So you’re saying you don’t know what Galentine’s Day is then? https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a26052713/galentines-day/
I do not but after reading the link isn’t it still all about the girl?
I had no idea maple bars were an LA thing. I’m so used to them that I thought every place had them. Btw, they are my favourite donut too.
Maybe just a west coast thing? No one I knew growing up ever ordered them.
There’s a place down the road that sells those under the name of Long Johns. And John is packing – they’re about the size of a Size 10 sneaker. You can get maple or chocolate. Cutting them in half is the smart approach. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, though.
I’ve seen a poster that shows the different donut types and they have one picture for the maple bar and another one for the Long John. I have no idea why.
I swear I had them back east as a kid, but I also really liked maple stuff so I may have just noticed them more even if they were uncommon
LitreCola is taking tonight off from writing the open thread in order to
Get condoms for BC Dick because the selection is better in Alberta than British Columbia.
I think we should do an oral history of the first time we met TWBS at the Harbor Room in Playa Vista.
Speaking of Calgary, did you know they’ve got a whole city up there?