Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: We Kinda Made It!

Yesterday nine teams’ rookies reported to training camp. And today the Jets have fully opened up camp, as they’re playing in the Hall of Fame Game. There’s football actually on the horizon! The important stuff:

-Steelers, Alex Highsmith agree to 4 year, $68M extension.

-He ain’t cause he’s not: Denzel Mims no longer represents New York, don’t got it on his back. The Jets will either trade or waive him, depending on whether they can find a partner for the former.

-N-GCP All-Pro OG Zack Martin is considering holding out of training camp due to wanting to restructure his contract.

CrimeBeat! updates:
-An assault charge against Titans OLB Rashad Weaver has been dropped. The case has been closed and the trial, scheduled to begin yesterday, was canceled.

-However, DT Perrion Winfrey was released by the Browns due to him being a suspect in an aggravated robbery case. This is after the second-year player was arrested in April for misdemeanor assault (charges later dropped due to a pretrial diversion program).

Sports?

Lesser Footy Friendlies
Not-in-Chelsea vs. Fightin’ Robs (Chelsea vs. Wrexham, 7:55, ESPN)

Baseball choices
Cast o’ Shortstops vs. BiUrds Areun’t Real (SD vs. TOR, 7:07, MLBN)
Watching the Yankees get 2-hit by yet another pitcher with a 5+ ERA (NYY vs. LAA, 7:07, MLBN)

Man, next week’ll be fun. You know, the same way Grave of the Fireflies is. (I haven’t seen it, because Senorita Weaselo and I are purposely putting that off.) Why? Well, that you can find out next week.

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Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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King Hippo

Some of these here Shamrock Sapphos ™ is pretty cute!

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s really fucking good

Gumbygirl

Goodnight, fellow daredevils!

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Gumbygirl
Redshirt

So I read the synopsis for “Barbie” on Wikipedia. Uh, yeah. Does anyone have a quick second or two to help trepan me?

Mr. Ayo

I sure Ken!

Gumbygirl

I’ll skip it. My Barbie married George Harrison, and kissed him
On. the. lips!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Dunstan

My D&D session just involved a reference to a “greased-up gnome,” and I’m only sorry that none of my fellow players know about Lowratio.

SonOfSpam

you confuse a dwarf with a gnome and brother there’s gonna be shin-level hell to pay

ArmedandHammered

Gnomes rule!

WCS

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David can eat goblin shit and burn in Hades.

Gumbygirl

.

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2Pack

We had another wicked hail storm last night. Will do a damage check walk around after the run. Still too dark now. With the garden in full swing I hope my tomatoes survived.

Doktor Zymm

Hope all the deliciousness is okay!

litre_cola

Mine didn’t last weekend. I watched them get destroyed. My critter nets on my other planters guarded them surprisingly well.

2Pack

My net did the trick last week. Hoping that it held up last night too.

2Pack

Coach Belicheck would be happy, the net, did it’s job (jerb in Hippo speak).

Garden is OK couple tomatoes knocked off the vine, those will go in tonight’s salad. Life goes on.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My garden is finally producing edible tomatoes – just in time for spider mite season!

2Pack

Yeah I’m looking to spray them this weekend. No sign of them yet this year but I’m goin preemptive.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What did you say you used?

2Pack

I use a paraffin active ingredient spray. We had talked about this a couple months ago. You had little luck with it but it seems to work pretty well over here.

Doktor Zymm

I’m gonna eat some tomatoes first thing when I get home, so good when they’re in season

ArmedandHammered

Gonna watch ‘Grave of the Fireflies’? Make sure you have enough tissue paper on hand. That movie would make Chuck Norris bawl like a baby and kick the ass of anyone who gives him any shit about it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well that’s just fucking peachy. Was thoroughly excited to drink a Golden Road mango beer tonight; I pour it into a glass and it’s contaminated with a bunch of nasty sediment. Pour out another, same story. Now I gotta go bitch at someone and demand my money back. All I wanted was a cold beer, goddamnit.

Mr. Ayo

This never happens with freezer Vodka. And if it did, you’d be too drunk to notice or care.

Doktor Zymm

Plus the vodka would sterilize whatever it is!

WCS

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King Hippo

MOAR sediment? MOAR protein!

Doktor Zymm

Maybe they added extra mango powder?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

God only knows. Cuba Libre to the rescue.

Dunstan

This wouldn’t happen if you drank a good manly American beer like Bud Light.

Oops, I mean Modelo.

Oops.

Gumbygirl

Anchor Steam? That’s a goddam shame, by the way.

SonOfSpam

STOP GROOMING ME

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Jim Tomsula, during the delousing procedure

SonOfSpam

Your fault for getting that stupid beer.

Golden Road does a nice “10 Hop Hazy” IPA though.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The fruit cart beers are delicious on hot days.

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SonOfSpam

They have a Spicy Mango that I like.

OH NO TOO SPICY BETTER DRINK ANOTHER BEER lather rinse repeat

Dunstan

I actually like the mango one, haven’t tried the other two.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The other two are fine, but I like mango the best.

Doktor Zymm

40 minutes from gate to gate, with some idiot who didn’t open the door to the immigration area trapping the entire flight in the gate plus a delayed people mover, pretty damn good! I think the MCT is 90 minutes

Edit: AND precheck was closed

Last edited 1 year ago by Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm

Dear ORD,
Get. Your. Shit. Together.

ballsofsteelandfury

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¿What did I ….? Oh yeah…

SonOfSpam

As forts go, it’s ORDinary, shit that’s awful, will go flog myself

Brick Meathook

Edward “Butch” O’Hare

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Dunstan

Wasn’t there a character on The Tick who was “the Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs At Midnight”?

ArmedandHammered

Yep, and he was makin’ gravy without the lumps.

Gumbygirl

Yeah baby yeah!!!

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Horatio Cornblower

I guess all Chelsea had to do to get back to form is revert to a League 2 schedule.

King Hippo

One assumes you’ve mocked yer paw accordingly

Doktor Zymm

Still taxiing to the gate, precheck better be open over in T1

blaxabbath

I got tix for Oppenheimer tomorrow. Think Episode 7 was the last time I went to like a movie opening (the tickets for tonight didn’t work with my schedule).

Horatio Cornblower

Bill Parcells is gonna jerk off so hard to that movie.

scotchnaut

So you’re saying that Parcells will be ‘turning Japanese’? Oh, the ironing!

King Hippo

ah really think so!

King Hippo

SPOILER – he kind of turns into a pussy later in life smgdh

Doktor Zymm

Let us know how it is, I’m curious about it myself and considering venturing out to a theatre for the first time in probably about 10 years

King Hippo

heh, I am close to 15! Whatever Xmas Django Unchained was in theaters.

Doktor Zymm

My last one was the Turing movie

herodotus450

Did everyone smuggle apples into the screening?

scotchnaut

The first The Incredibles movie over here.

/nearest movie palace is 70 minutes away, so there’s that

King Hippo

FUCK, now I am impressed

Gumbygirl

We went to a movie in Palm Springs a few months ago, but it was a screwball comedy from the 30’s. I can’t remember the last time I went to a new movie in a theater. I did see the Secret Life of Pets at a drive in, whenever that was!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was hearing on the radio that it’s expected to make $60 million on opening weekend, compared to $140 million for the Barbie Movie. We truly are a dying empire.

Doktor Zymm

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This is some consolation though

TheRevanchist

I would much rather watch Margot Robbie than a sausage factory. But, to each his own.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yeah, it’s an easy fucking choice. Margot Robbie looking pretty versus a serious movie about nuclear war.

Why the fuck would I go to the movies to get depressed?

Last edited 1 year ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Listen, I will shit on Interstellar all day long, but you really can’t argue with this kind of track record for Christopher Nolan:

Memento

The Dark Knight

The Prestige

Batman Begins

Interstellar

Inception

Dunkirk

The Dark Knight Rises

Tenet

TheRevanchist

Now that is a list of movies I have no interest in watching, except for Batman.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Memento? The Prestige?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean come on, Dunkirk?

TheRevanchist

Nope. Not one of those peak my interest at all. Maybe if Winona Ryder was it one?

BugEyedBoo

That’s a pretty good string of films, except for Tenet. I’ve sat through some pretty terrible movies, and I gave up on Tenet about halfway.

TheRevanchist

First game, though an exhibition, without Pubelessdick, and Chelsea is winning. Not a coincidence.

WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

Isn’t half of last year’s squad playing in Saudi Arabia?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I thought the PGA resolved the LIV Tyler drama.

SonOfSpam

I complain about the Tungstens a lot (justifiably), but the Yankers have LeMahieu batting cleanup so I guess it could be worse.

King Hippo

Some extra hurt for the Cornblowers’ Hurt Locker 2nite!

WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

The Yankees under Hal Steinbrenner are going to be a running disappointment.

SonOfSpam

Or, and hear me out, satisfying.

Horatio Cornblower

“Siri, remind me to call Spam when Ohtani gets traded to the Giants in three weeks.”

Gumbygirl

You spelled Doyers wrong. Should have asked the dwarf.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

For players dying of heatstroke this summer I’m setting an over/under of 0.5 for the NFL, 3 for college football, and 6.5 at the high school level.

SonOfSpam

Total of Euro old people who don’t have AC? In the thousands.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll take the under on the first two and the over on the third.

High school football coaches are generally some the worst and dumbest people on the planet.

blaxabbath

“It’s so hard to kill those young people though.”

– M Gaetz

ballsofsteelandfury

REMINDER:

I have created a Women’s World Cup Tipping Competition!

Head here to take part:

https://www.footytips.com.au/comps/DFO_WWC_2023

THE COMPETITION STARTS TONIGHT!!

Don T

Just tipt! Will be watching.
Woof, those tv times. Sorry, but I gotta quit you
/caresses melatonin bottle

King Hippo

3am eettttteeeerrrrrnnnnnnaaaallll!

TheRevanchist

You should feel my tip just entering.

Gumbygirl

I just tippity doo dahd. Should be as hilariously wrong as I am in the CFL pool!