Sexy Friday – 20230728

TGIF! There’s nothing on TV. So read this post while chugging a couple of drinks and then take a nap. Tweaker WWC games start at 2:00AM DFO time.

Survival – Personal Edition

Feeling frisky and prowling the dating apps? Well, here’s a handy little guide on deciphering the photos.

*checks word count* *shit*

Let’s say the photos and bio check out, next let’s try out some terrible pickup lines. Note, do not use these.

• The human body is 90% water, and I’m really thirsty.
• Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
• With a mane like that you must be a Leo.
• Do you have a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.
• Are your legs tires? Because you have been running through my dreams all night.
• Is your father a thief? Because he stole the stars from the skies and put them in your eyes.
• Are you okay? It must have been a long fall from heaven.
• I really like that outfit. It would look great crumpled at the end of my bed.
• What do you like to eat for breakfast? Oh good, I have that.
• I know they say milk does a body good, but damn, how much have you been drinking?
• So, are you legal?
• I have cable TV.
• If I told you that you have a lovely body, would you hold that against me?
• Did the sun just come out or did you just smile at me?
• Is it hot in here or is it just you?
• Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
• I lost my phone number, can I have yours?
• If you were a burger at McDonald’s, I’d call you McBeautiful.
• Hi, my name’s [Your name here], but you can call me tonight.
• No wonder the sky’s gray today, all the blue is in your eyes.
• What’s your name? Or should I just call you mine?
• If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.
• Look at you with all those curves and me with no brakes.
• I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock.
• Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
• Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I skinned my knee when I fell for you.
• Can I have a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.
• My bed is broken. Can I sleep in yours?
• I’m not feeling myself tonight. Can I feel you?
• My name is [Your name here]. Remember that; you’ll be screaming it later.
• Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
• I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I am the only one talking to you.
• (Lick finger, wipe on her shirt) Let’s get you out of those wet clothes.

Follow these guidelines and you’ll be on the road to a real life date in no time!

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Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!