We may see some shenanigans early in this tilt because these guys did not play nice together earlier in the week. So there’s that. What else is going on?
-Joe Mixon is not guilty of waving a gun in front of a woman after driving ‘erratically’, cutting her off and jumping out of his car to confront her. (he seems well-balanced) The key to his innocence? His counsel was able to convince the judge that the woman was ‘angry’ rather than ‘afraid’ when Mixon yelled at her and that’s part of the criteria used in “Aggravated Menacing” trials. What. The. Fuck? Oh yeah, Ohio.
-Jonathan Taylor has left camp with the full blessing of the Colts in order to attend to a personal matter. Married couples call this a ‘cooling-off period’ but whatever. He’s still not ready to practice with the team but methinks that if his trade request was granted (not bloody likely) he’d be ready and raring to go. It’s all performative silliness on both sides.
-That Bucs/Jets joint practice is a bit of a carnival. Russell Gage’s knee went kablooie and he’s gone for the year. Jets cb coach Tony Oden collapsed on the field and was sent to the hospital. Reading between the lines it appears he was hit by a wandering haymaker while trying to break up a skirmish.
To The Game!
Browns/Eagles:
-Darian Thompson-Robinson, a fifth-round pick, likely gets the start tonight being as he has jumped the queue and Kellen Mond in the qb pecking order. He’s one guy that I’d have loved seeing the Giants grab in this year’s draft but it didn’t work out. Was he a position of need? Nope. Do I prefer the rb that was drafted in the fifth? Yup. The irrational heart wants what it wants!
-DTR starting is probably for the best for Deshaun given that he tossed two INT’s and was stripped of the ball (a no-no because qb’s are not to be touched) during a joint practice yesterday.
-Some in the Philly org have a boner for one Tanner McKee, a no-name qb that played well last week. The scuttlebutt goes that if he keeps making progress the team could dump Mariota (as teams are wont to do) and have a super cheap backup for 5 years.
Do your thing.
The hospital has very few channels. I need football in my life.
Glad to see you’re healthy enough to be bored.
Bored, but not enough privacy to watch GILF porn.
Plus Woodhouse is dead
How are you?
Doing okay. Got some blood veins growing where they aren’t supposed to. Could be fatal if one bursts. So, gotta work all that out with specialists.
Yikes, feel better soon! I’m sending all the positive thoughts your way.
Yeah get well soon Buddy. Positive waves until then.
Woohoo Elks! Did anyone else pick them? Hope not!
I certainly didn’t, and certainly will not for the rest of the season. They stink!
I have to take some chances if I ever want to climb out of the cellar.
Just remember, this was Lowratio’s ambition in life not too long ago.
It gets the hose if it doesn’t put on the lotion!
My sister was bitten by a moose. Does that count?
Is she out of the cellar?
I would imagine everyone involved has been sacked
Oh, if anyone wants an invite to Blue Sky I have 4 invites backed up and literally nothing to do with them. Not sure it’s a huge deal, but it’s there if you want ’em.
Sure, why not.
It’s free, right? I’ll take one if it is. Thanks!
Are you on the Slack channel? Just tried to DM you one and nothing came up. But I might have been spelling it ‘Cult’ instead of ‘Cure’
I am not, but one of the admin types should have my email. Litre sent me something recently.
I’ll arrange this
That’s why you’re my favorite. But you knew that!
Done and done.
This is preseason. Instead of a draw, everyone runs up and down the field. Last man standing gets the W for his team.
Oddly enough, it will, like the MLB All-Star Game, be decided via Home Run Derby.
Read that as “Roller Derby” and I was instantly All In
Throw da bomb, Brownies!
Nailed It!
— B. Walsh
Went to a bar tonight because a friend whose cancer is in remission was playing drums for his band, and he hit it like it stole something, and because another friend was raising money for a relative battling ALS.
I am significantly, but happily, much poorer and much drunker than when I left the house. We closed the night at a different bar where the (female) bartender, who very clearly has a crush on Mrs. Horatio, straight up started “joking” about threesomes.
Me: Allow me to tell you about a little fella named Lowratio.
Sexy bartender: Get the fuck out.
She prefers LoWario
Lowuigi!
Last day of work before a week of vacation. Can’t beat the feeling.
The preseason game is so bad that I’m going to go back to the CFL game under a rain delay in the Hammer
Is that still delayed? Shit, this is going to screw me fer sure. I was really hoping to pick up a point.
Should be back on now
Raise your hand if you hate Dyson ships. I’d much rather a sci-fi author hand-wave away the issue with an unexplained “fusion drive” rather than muck around with one of those stupid bomb-farting monstrosities.
Didn’t think you’d be able to talk about any Dyson like that
/can feel the glare from Mrs RTD
Fun fact: we got a new vacuum today!
I hope it bonds quickly with the other ones.
Because I know good and goddamn well none of the other ones are getting thrown out.
Grand Central is incredible.
It is definitely one of my favourite places.
DFOCon NY (if/whenever) may include a stop at the Campbell. I have no idea if it’s any good.
It’s one of my home screens. Never mind I was facing the wrong fucking way.
Shoutout to my YouTube algorithm*-it keeps reminding me that some guy by the name of Michael Jordan was a really good basketball player.
*I’ve been looking for old Big East games from the 80’s and 90’s
Halftime Query: give me a book that you’d rec. I recently did Thunderstruck. I had no idea that Marconi was a complete asshole.*
*spoiler
The Making of the Atomic Bomb – Richard Rhodes. Biography + science + WWII.
Fiction or Non? For fiction, if you haven’t read it, Boneshaker would be a good follow-on to Thunderstruck
I think I told you this before, but Gumby used to be a Beta reader for Cherie Priest, years ago. He got super busy at work and couldn’t find the time to do it any more, but I think they still keep in touch occasionally.
That’s pretty awesome, I love her stuff
Me too!
Roald Dahl short stories are always a fine palate-cleanser.
Operation Mincemeat. War and deception and corpse defilement and Nazis!
Didn’t read the book, but the movie is definitely worth watching.
Any of Larson’s books are worth a read. ‘Devil In The White City’ is really good.
I just finished McCarthy’s ‘The Passenger’ and it was good, but an effort. Currently reading Barbara Kingsolver’s ‘Demon Copperfield’ and it’s a very entertaining read.
I loved The Devil in the White City. I seldom reread a book (so many books! So little time) but I read that one several times.
I think one of you fuckers recommended it to me, but City of Thieves really was tremendous.
I also loved Leaving the Atocha Station and will again recommend Underground Airlines if you want something engrossing and fucked up.
If you like a British mystery, Margery Allingham’s Campion books are good. There’s a guy named Mike Ripley who got permission from her estate to continue the series. I’m reading one of his now, Mr. Campion’s War, and I’m enjoying it.
that X twitter logo is still fucking stupid
“that x twitter is fucking stupid”
fify
3-2? Did they finally do away with preseason and are playing baseball until we get to the Regular Season?
3 run homer! It’s now 5-3. Guardians over Phillies.
8-3. phillies gotta go to the bullpen. philly phanatic has since assaulted 4 men
And here I was thinking you guys were kidding.
The quarterbacks have been forced to speed up their throws-it’s not pretty.
watching the LLWS on espn now and its far, far more interesting, and a couple of more points have been scored (3-4)
aw dammit rain delay
Watching the CFL willingly. The Elks could burst their goose egg.
I picked them, so they’re probably jinxed.
We feel for this last week. Not this time, hat!
They are on the road. We need the losses to continue up in Edmonton
Me leaving COVID quarantine and 10-day Mask Recommendation (Artistic Interpretation)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=neO5fnwQjqg&pp=ygUfc2hhd3NoYW5rIHJlZGVtcHRpb24gcGlwZSBzY2VuZQ%3D%3D
Doc: “Uh, Mr. Redshirt, you didn’t need to cover yourself in feces for your follow-up appointment.”
Redshirt: “Oh, you don’t think so? Have you never even seen the movie? I didn’t think so!”
One thinks the practice FITBAW is bad, then the jagoff sideline interviews start and that’s Hippo’s teevee going back to sleepytown.
Just tuning in. Apparently everyone is getting hurt and Mariota sucks.
I for one forgot he came to Philly. I miss Minshew mania.
“To those that are getting hurt-just hold on.”
-M. Stipe, football announcer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rOiW_xY-kc&ab_channel=remhq
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Le-3MIBxQTw
I was told that an Alabama Shake was 1 part ice cream, 3 parts mayo, 1/2 part dead possum, 5 parts Uncle Ned’s Mystery Booze and 1 part speed trap ticket. smgdh…
As opposed to a Mississippi Shake, which consists of a blender filled to a depth of 4″ with Percocet and paid for by stolen welfare funds.
A Hippy, Hippy Shake involved dehydration, Hendrix playing Monday morning, brown acid, a lack of Port-a-Pottys and a dearth of heroin. The Georgia Satellites addressed this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v8BxD2o-1g&ab_channel=AnthonyRiddle
As opposed to an Alabama Satellite, which is just a dead possum with a string tied to it that you swing around in a big circle.
Everybody had to read The Picture of Dorian Grey in high school, right? And the obligatory snickering at the homoerotic stylings, because one was a jackass teenager, right??
#FIFTHpill has taken over
is my Jeebus Take teh Wheel
Huh, probably not up here in Canadia. Curious if it was widespread across several states. Up here The Stone Angel (written by a lousy Canuck writer) has been read countless times because it fairly drips with easy-to-suss symbolism.
Are you trying to tell us you no longer snicker at homoerotic stylings? It’s ok, this is a safe space!
ah add no ofence now
In high school, to catch us up on Greek culture while I was taking Ancient Greek*, we were assigned Mary Renault’s The Last of the Wine. This was 1979 in West Virginia, and if some of the parents had found out what was in that book they’d have seriously lost their minds. We must’ve took “Snitches get stitches,” to heart.
*We had a British guy who taught Classics at Marshall U. that taught the class. Straight out of Central Casting.
There’s an old joke about a teacher telling her class they’re skipping the Nun’s Priest’s tale of the Canterbury Tales because it’s too inappropriate, then the next day holding a discussion of it because she knows all the kids will have read it by then.
I don’t think I ever read it for school
Moby Dick. Despite the title, very little sex.
Moby Dick, imo, is one of the finest examples of Western literature ever. My brother, who (for reasons I’ll never pretend to understand), has an MFA with focus on Western Lt, considers it one of the worst waste of pen and ink ever committed.
Pretty sure all the eroticism obligations were fulfilled with ‘A Separate Peace’
Aw gee, they were blowing each other in the sand dunes? Didn’t see that happening, nor did I give a shit.
A. Reid: “All the starters will be playing on Saturday. Unless one or more of them have [lowers glasses, begins to read from scroll] have committed a DUI, have struck their significant other, have resisted the police, have waved a gun in their front yard while in their underwear, have chased their oldest child with a lamp, have drowned a cat, have been exposed in a sex trafficking ring, have sold more than 6 grams of coke to an undercover officer, have reneged on 15 consecutive child support payments or do not have a valid driver’s license. AND THAT IS FINAL!
but lookit my wacky Hawaiian shirt and mah fat belly!!
first preseason footbaw ive seen and of course its a 3-2 thursday night ass bowl
However the court DID find Mixon guilty of Pretty Pathetic Menacing
Also misdemeanor wankery
As well as Olivia Manning finding her son guilty of Dennis the Menacing and sentencing him to two weeks without his Sega Genesis.
legacy tweetdeck finally shat the bed a few minutes ago. i lurked as long as i could. no way in hell i use that bloated, alt-right advertisement filled, piece of shit main app. “for you”? no, fuck you.
just in time for proper commenting season on dfo
Glad you’re here! Nice to see ya again! Get yourself a drink, some snacks, and a comfy chair, we’re gonna be here until February!
Well look who comes crawling back.
What the hell was that?
Is that guy’s name Chlamydia Zucchini? I should put on my glasses.
a reminder to us all – wash them fresh fruits and veg before consuming smgdh
The wifey washes hers in a warm water/(very light) bleach solution*. She says that it reduces her tummy problems.
*she re-rinses afterwards of course
hell of a thing to learn by trial and error!
“Eh, a tiny little bit of bleach won’t hurt you. It’s basically same amount of chlorine you’d get as swallowing a mouthful of pool wat…ELISHA NELSON MANNING I DON’T CARE IF PEYTON DOUBLE DOG DARED YOU TO DO IT YOU SPIT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW!”
/Key and Peele take furious notes for next East-West Shrine Game skit
These Iggles practice announcers are meatheads to an extent it is hard to ignore. The worst one just made a Kenny G “joke”
Marcus Mariota is the Colt McCoy of Nick Foles.
Guys, I’m not sure Mariota is really that good.
#spiritanimal
He’s going to extend his career as long as possible, thinking that because he was once a starter, he just needs the right spot to be a starter again.
Plus, I reckon them checks keep on a cashin’
America will NEVER switch to the Demetric system!
EDIT: I didn’t think that would work. Sad!
DTR marched them right down the field, and then the Brownsing happened. You love to see it!
Game Update: The Browns Browns-ed.
Browns play-calling is so obvious. After a longer, successful pass they’ll always run it the next time.
Presented Without Comment: “Browns notable starters tonight include Donovan Peoples-Jones.”
Brahns! Iggles! Fixed that for yinz.
O/U on Anthony Richardson’s pass attempts per game? 19.5. Are you over or under?
Torn Achilles on third drop-back.
Way under.
— M. Gaetz
Oh my.
the general fantasy hype on him…is hard to swallow. I get that Strawberry Fields was “good in fantasy despite horrid in reals” last season, but quite a bit of that was garbage time (all counts, but hard to rely on)
Yeah, fantasy goobers love themselves running qb’s no matter what.
Arizona Corrections Officer Who Posted Image Suggesting Death as ‘Cure for Pedophilia’ Arrested for Molesting Child
https://www.ibtimes.sg/arizona-corrections-officer-who-posted-image-suggesting-death-cure-pedophilia-arrested-71329
Y’know folks, between articles like this, and the ongoing molestathon that are the Catholic and Baptist churches, I’m kinda beginning to maybe sort get the vague inkling that perhaps drag queens reading to kids isn’t really the problem….
“His counsel was able to convince the judge that the woman was ‘angry’ rather than ‘afraid’ when Mixon yelled at her and that’s part of the criteria used in “Aggravated Menacing” trials.
I wonder if the “convincing” had anything to do with Haslam taking the judge on a little vacation, aka “The Clarence Thomas Persuasion Method”