TGIF! I’m sick as a dog so let’s get this over with so I can crawl back into bed.
Survival – Personal Edition
Here’s some tips on handling lost luggage, specifically when you’re on a business trip.
- File a report at the airport. Do this as soon as you know your luggage is missing. Go the lost luggage counter and file a report. Get a copy of the report and note the person that helped you and the report number.
- Get the direct phone number for the baggage counter. They’ll give you a toll free number to check the status of your bags, but that won’t be handled by the baggage count.
- Request compensation. If your airline is cool, they’ll spot you some walking around money. If they’re less cool they will at least provide you with a toiletries bag. If they’re not cool at all you’ll get nothing.
- Call the airport baggage counter regularly. Do not assume they will call you.
- Prepare for a two day delay, assuming they find it. It’ll be put on another of their flights to your destination airport and depending on the route, that may not happen until the next day.
- Purchase any other essential items you need before you leave the airport. If it’s late or around a holiday, many stores may not be open.
There you go. Next time I’ll go into more detail on handling this situation.
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Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday!
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!
2:50 AM Best Coast time.
Time to call it.
Good night you princes of Maine, you kings of New England
/Makes Jaws 3
//Gets paid millions
///never sees the movie, and in fact makes fun of it
Quitter
Sleep well.
He’ll never see that.
Rikki, me and Balls are meeting at Tam O’Shanter tomorrow (Saturday 12/16) at 11 AM. That’s crawling distance from you. We have two open seats on the reservation so you are of course invited if you can make it.
Imagine, if you will . . . a burger . . . with a fried egg. And French fries. And a Bloody Mary . . . But wait! The Bloody Mary has BACON! (cue shrieking suspenseful music). Valet parking is available.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woa0GFwhciQ
Your kisses are as wicked as an M-16/
And you fuck like a volcano/
And you’re everything to me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tM60GAPIXTY
D.Favre: What the what now?
This one’s for Redshirt.
Lost my hearing for three days after this concert. Guitarist almost kicked me in the face and I teamed up with another guy to toss a stage crasher about 20′ back.
Mrs. Horatio was in attendance and remarked “who needs a vibrator when you have rock n’ roll?”
Great concert, or greatest concert ever?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWst5pHGWeA&list=RDiWst5pHGWeA&start_radio=1
Sorry, had to change the videos several times because the live videos are erratic.
Which stands to reason if the band I coked out of their minds.
Allegedlys.
Well this doesn’t seem like a band who’d be into…oh. Yeah, that makes sense.
My brother and I had a fantastic conversation with the lead singer at the Middle East in Cambridge one night a few years back. Great guy, very enthusiastic about the fans.
I’ll let you guess which of the three of us had their eyeballs pinned back lik dart board bull’s eyes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFcoSYuYSLE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EUOVya_5RQ
These bands kinda go hand in hand.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXV8oyIsvpE
Schooner Westward (1910)
RIP Bushwick
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BRYkJ5tXII
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoGHoq9_HXY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=QoZAhEEy4Jo
I need a little bit of whiskey/and a little bit of time
to ease my troubled mind
Might as well be the DFO mission statement, followed by a scorching guitar solo.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1G0jl0Vc64
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6zLesQoywc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsUi7a7x6gA
We’re Motorhead. We play rock and roll.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FR-m04xo1R4
Yes you did motherfucker. Yes you did.
My absolute favoUrite band at one point, but then they fell apart. As bands tend to do. Still, great song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFy5cDyv4eI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bg5ZcxBbYJY
I watched the new Netflix movie Leave It All Behind. Great actors in a really dull movie. Felt like an M. Night Shamalamadingdong stinker. “The animals are trying to tell us something.” Yeah, like, :There’s two hours and twenty minutes of your life that you’re not getting back.”
Actor 1: ‘Why is my dog making a dismissive wanking motion?’
Actor 2: ‘Did you not see that that Shamalyan was the director?’
Oof. 140 minutes? That’s too much. If you are going to demand that much screen time, you better be at least as good as Boogie Nights.
Wasting two-and-half hours?
Those last couple moon explorations the suits got so filthy the astronauts were concerned that the helmets and gloves might not reseal properly.
This is the final one, Apollo 17. Eugene Cernan was the last person (so far) to put a footprint on the moon, and this is after he got in the LM after the last of 3 EVAs and they launched back up to the CSM. He’s filthy as a coal miner.
Sadly the pure audacity and accomplisments of those final J missions are unknown to most people.
I was glued to the TV for Apollo 8 and 11 and 13, yet by Apollo 17 it seemed routine and boring. I was ten years old and saying “it’s just another moon landing.” Everybody thought they would keep going on.
Yeah 15-17 got very little coverage. But they were the ones that did the significant exploration. The lunar rover allowed them to do that.
Fuck it, I’ll take over the thread
/gets insanely mad about slight difference in pizza preferences
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2ZW0pA5COc
Oh, that reminds me…
(I seem to be gravitating towards songs that are 6+ minutes this evening)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIitQNXVgb8
GODDAMN THIS FUCKING SONG SLAPS
Good tune, btw
Yep. Remember that one just fine.
Okay time to move on to the box wine.
I suppose I should eat something too.
I’ve had 6-7 beers and at best a shit-load of appetizers. I’m thinking running a Roomba for the next 5-8 hours should do it.
Did I just get this jersey in the mail today?
Yes. Yes I did.
Spokane Canaries Hockey Club, 1916-1917. RIP.
Yes, I am definitely considering a Vancouver Millionaires jersey for the new year.
As far as mid-life crisis goes, buying historic hockey jerseys and/or colorful Converse low-tops seems much cheaper than, say, exploding cars, high school cheerleaders, or slandering poll workers.
I’ve got the cap!
The Vancouver Millionaires is absolutely the next jersey I buy, unless I go Ottawa Nationals.
I’m not sure if I had a midlife crisis or some other sort of crisis, but it seemed to be mostly buying video games and fancy underwear
There’s nothing wrong with either, and both are so much cheaper than fancy-ass dipshit cars or “oops I accidentally banged the nanny” divorces.
Also using a lot of sunblock for some reason. On the plus side, nawt married so can’t get divorced! I love my obsolete little Mazda 2. If I do end up spending a lot of money on something unnecessary it’s gonna be some audiophile shit. Although I guess setting up my Chicago pad to be super slick when I’m not there a lot and mostly use it for debauchery is also a somewhat pricy midlife crisis endeavor.
Doc, there is absolutely no amount on money that could be spent on a part-time den of depravity that I would consider a poor investment.
Mad never should have gone away from black and white, and that’s a hill I’ll fight on.
MAD died with William Gaines.
Interesting fact:
I just discovered that “The Kraken” is an actual team and not some made-up moniker on this website. I saw their name on a TV in a bar and I was shocked.
This is probably due to the fact that I don’t follow hockey and the Wall Street Journal sports page doesn’t cover it anyway.
Wait till you hear what their arena is called
It’s named after furniture polish?
Their uniform looks like a failed toothpaste ad.
What does the “A” stand for? Is it like pizza?
Those three represent batteries.
What do you think Ayo does when he releases the Kraken?
I still don’t know, even with this new knowledge.
My question is, why do they require releasing so often? Do they keep coming back into captivity voluntarily until they released again, or do you have to hunt them down and recapture them? Either way, why not just keep them?
Should I drink another old fashioned or switch to box wine?
yes, as tends to be the answer to ‘or’ questions
Me: (during 5th IPA) Yeth.
Also from the party I got into a spirited argument with another guy about whether Franklin Giant Grinder or Maple Giant Grinder is the best deli in Hartford, which was all in good fun, but then he said he’d fight anyone who thought Pepe’s wasn’t the best apizza in New Haven and I said “motherfucker, I’ll cut anyone who says it isn’t Modern” and my brother said “what about Zuppardi’s” and, well, things took a turn.
I heard that’s how things went bad for Ray Lewis after the Super Bowl in 2000.
I thought it was because someone told him he shouldn’t wear white after Labor Day.
It’s even funnier when you consider it’s three guys over 50 hollering at each other about pizza and cheeseburgers, (oh yes, steamed cheeseburger did, in fact, enter the chat), and how stupid the ensuing brawl would have been.
Seriously though, it was all in good drunken fun but an argument about who has the best pizza/cheeseburger/hot dog, (which, goddammit, is not a sandwich), never fails to be extremely entertaining.
because I’m too lazy to look it up, what’s with the apizza thing? Why the a- prefix?
It’s a New Haven thing and has something to do with the origins in Naples.
Long story short I’ve had a lot of beer, I’m being pretentious, and you should ignore me.
(But if you’re in one of the big 3 in New Haven you should remember it’s “apizza” and not pizza. Drop the ‘a’ on the end)
Angels: “life goes on after Ohtani. We never made the playoffs with him and we’re not gonna make the playoffs without him. Anyway, the MVP means nothing.”
Y’know what would be absolutely hilarious…
Oh God.
I would never stop laughing.
/At party at my brother’s
Guy breaks out medicinal weed. “This is really strong, you all need to be careful”
Person 1: Oh my god (curls up in a fetal position, goes outside multiple times, leaves early)
Person 2: (married to Person 1). Fuck, I’m high as hell
My Brother: (takes two giant hits). Yeah, that’s it for me
Me: (Pass)
Mrs. Horatio: (Takes hit) (takes another hit) Wow. Cute pot you got there.
The moral of this story is do not light up with Mrs. Horatio and expect it to end well.
She is my hero and soon to be role model.
She literally told everyone there that she would smoke them under the table and then proceeded to do so.
I’m not sure I should be as turned on by that as I am.
When we still lived in Birmingham, we had a friend who started experimenting with making gummies. He gave us some to try, and they were soooooooooo strong. I was in the middle of my king sized bed, clutching the covers, convinced I was going to fall off. Once the crazy buzz wore off a bit, they were great, but for a while I was unpleasantly high.
Oh I have a fantastic story about the time my bitch whore from hell of a wife tricked my into eating an entire marijuana cookie and why I’ve never touched that shit since.
The #702
This is Luna. I have been trying to lure her onto my lap for years. I finally succeeded, and then i got a horrendous cramp in my calf and I had to move. Boooooooo!
I’m sure it was good while it lasted!
She is a lovely cat. Tiny, I think she weighs something like 6 pounds.
While my robe collection is maybe close to complete now (at 12 robes split between 2 locations) Gumbygirl may have been right on the slipper front. Although I don’t think this will end up being a collection, a pair of alpaca slippers and a pair of felt slippers seems adequate. There just doesn’t seem to be the variety that there is in robes.
Slipper-y slope!
I have a pair of North Face slippers that are basically puffy quilts and they are fantastic in cold weather.
Lady number 3 has the right attitude. Pro Tip on the survival topic (I do primarily read Ayo for the article) always carry a change of underwear and socks in your carry on. You feel much more human if you endure a day or two in the same shirt and pants if you at least have that. Monica will model this for us.
!!! Just spotted my beloved Riley Dandy in the trash Christmas movie we’re watching!
Wow, I was just thinking of you because I just spotted Todd Marinovich rooting through my trash!
As much fun as interviewing for jobs is, I hope I’m able to stay at my next job for 7is years. If that happens I should be able to retire before 50, which both means I win my completely invented competition with my dad for who can work fewer years, and seems like a nice round number. Although I still won’t be able to withdrawal from my retirement funds without penalty, which is totally lame.
Took The Graduate to a fancy-pants (for me/suburban North Cakalaky) Indian place. Had some good tandoori chicken, now time to hope my digestive system agrees with the taste buds. God, how I love being 50.
Congrats to both of you, and boy do I hate Indian food.
(I say that fully understanding it’s a me problem)
I blame the ungrateful subcontinent! – Winston C., London, UK
I blame the Hindus.
Those people have been getting off far too easy if you ask me.
/no one asked me
They mostly get shit in the US cuz they’re brown and people think that makes them Muslim. They also got their own Nationalist in Modi so they aren’t doing too badly on the global hated scale which I just made up. Sikhs are pretty awesome though, and I could probably go get free lunch at the local gudawara
Sikhs are the shit!
Sikhs own the liquor store 200 yards from my house, so I’m basically Sikh at this point.
The best way not to not lose your luggage is to not check it
Ford 427 big-block V-8
Shelby 427 Cobra
This is relevant. Mr. Ayo will be giving a lecture on this tomorrow morning in the assembly hall.
Just watched the Kate Micucci episode of Cabinet of Curiosities (The Outside) and it was as bad as the previous one (The Autopsy) was good.
The dark-haired one. She’s a fine actress, but the episode was just terribly written and directed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ZF_R_j0OY
Did you hear she’s suffering from lung cancer? She’s a nonsmoker, so that’s like stupid.
What the fuck? That’s not cool. Eat a dick, lung cancer. First Captain Holt and now her? I take it back – eat two dicks. Eat a whole bag of ’em.
All cancer spreads to the lungs. Bone cancer is not usually noticed until it spreads to the lungs.
Andy Kaufman died the same way. A non-smoker with lung cancer. It started somewhere else.
Wait, I just saw something about her. Is she the one being treated for lung cancer?
Yes, according to the guy lower in this thread.
Notice that our comments both posted at 9:26. Coincidently, September 26, 9/26, is my birthday, so clearly I WIN! Suck it Spam!
Yes ma’am.
/proceeds to suck it
“Way ahead of you.” – Coach Reid, preparing a second Spam smoothie
C’mon and SLAM!!!
and welcome to the JAM!!!!
I don’t know how these lyrics are relevant, but here we are
¡Jesús!
Leave that virgin out of this.
That’s a sensational collection of ouch….
Corn cheese is great stuff
Is that the Korean kind? I’ve had it with bacon too. Very tasty indeed.
Yup, tried a new Korean place near me. Also had a Spicy chicken kimchi burrito and spicy tuna kimbap. Delish!
Slightly Less Fractured Skull Older Boy passed all his business classes!*
*Lowratio told me during his podcast that it’s the little victories that count the most
Grade ten next!
He also told me that Syracuse is at best a mid-major basketball school, and probably considerably less.
Made a Monte Cassino for the first time. Very happy with it.
And the long walk I took in Tokyo to find the bottle of yellow chartreuse I needed to make it happen.
Some pretty amazing pictures this week. Great job!
I’ve had pretty good luck with getting my lost luggage back within 24 hours. One time I got it back within an hour, because some dude claimed my similar backpack as his and the lovely Alaska baggage agent called the guy and had him turn around and come back to the airport! I even got $100 travel voucher from Alaska even though it was in no way their fault. They are my favorite domestic airline.
.
Wifey has invited a friend over for the weekend. She has a terminal cancer. Molly and Ruby insist upon being close to her. They get shooed away, they wait a bit and then hop up on the couch she’s sitting on so they can be near her.
/don’t know what to say about this
You know who I wish would get terminal cancer? LAX.
(actually I don’t hate LAX nearly as much as everyone else. But everybody likes cancer jokes, you can’t pass up chances like that).
Of all the politicians available, you go with an inanimate airport???
No, cause “terminal”…ah, never mind…
[shuffles off, kicks rock]
For me it’s O’Hare
We don’t deserve dogs, but I’m glad they love us anyway. On the other hand, cats are exactly what we deserve!
STOP BEING PROFOUND!*
*it kinda diminishes the rest of us a little bit
Oh my darling dear, the only profound I am is profoundly silly!
“Hmm. You don’t really deserve us.” – Cats
This makes me worried.
Remember when my brothers cat followed me around for a week?
He described it as a cat that thinks he’s a dog
… that’s not good
The cat was clearly drawn to your fantasy football team
I don’t know, and do not want to know, what your friend’s current pain tolerance is, but my gid, if I could go out surrounded by dogs who insisted on cuddling me and acting sentry as I enter the next phase of whatever the fuck we’re doing here? I’d take that all day every day and twice on Sunday.
Animals absolutely know who’s worthy and who isn’t. Your wife’s friend is going straight to Valhalla. We should all pass that worthy.