AFL Beat 2024 – Round 2

I think the new format worked last week. Let’s give it another go!

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The Ladder

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The Results

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The Highlights

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Next Round’s Schedule

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Footy Tipping Contest

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Notes and Comments

I’m now shocked that the defending champion Collingwood Magpies is 0-3 to start the year. That’s the defending champion! Oh you know they’re under the pump now.

On the other side of the ladder, BFC and Lemonjello’s GWS Giants are undefeated and have beaten each of their opponents handily. Unfortunately, they have a bye this week, so hopefully that won’t cool them down after the break.

St. Kilda beat the Pies and looked good, but it’s the Pies, so it’s hard to get a true handle on how good they are. I will stick with calling them St. Kinda Good until proven otherwise.

I’m re-posting this paragraph from last week because I would like as many DFOers to become Founding Members of the Tasmania Devils. Details for the new team are here: Tasmania! If you want a founding membership, go here! I became a Founding Member as did BFC so you know all the cool kids are doing it!

It’s kinda funny that the top two teams are from Sydney, 6 out of The Eight are from outside Melbourne (Geelong is in Victoria, but not in Melbourne), and 7 of the bottom ten are Melbourne teams. It will be interesting to see if that carries on the rest of the season.

Don’t forget to put the Footy Tips in! See you next week!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Fronkenshteen

testing.
<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>Immediately following his Pro Day, <a href=”https://twitter.com/hashtag/LSU?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>#LSU</a> QB and potential Top 3 pick Jayden Daniels is scheduled to meet with the <a href=”https://twitter.com/hashtag/Patriots?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>#Patriots</a>, <a href=”https://twitter.com/hashtag/Commanders?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>#Commanders</a>, <a href=”https://twitter.com/hashtag/Giants?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>#Giants</a>, <a href=”https://twitter.com/hashtag/Vikings?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>#Vikings</a>, <a href=”https://twitter.com/hashtag/Broncos?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>#Broncos</a> and <a href=”https://twitter.com/hashtag/Raiders?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>#Raiders</a>, per his agent Ron Butler. Daniels has not previously met with any teams. <a href=”https://t.co/1wM92chLz8″>pic.twitter.com/1wM92chLz8</a></p>&mdash; Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) <a href=”https://twitter.com/RapSheet/status/1773012995896926413?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>March 27, 2024</a></blockquote> <script async src=”https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>

Fronkenshteen

Yep. thought so. dammit!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The only thing that makes me a little sad about Joe Lieberman’s death is that he didn’t live a few hours more so he could see how people reacted to his death.

Horatio Cornblower

The important thing was that it was apparently the result of a fall, so it probably hurt.

Did it hurt as much as being cirppled in a war that resulted from a campaign to lie about WMDs? Did it hurt as much as dying from cancer and not being able to afford healtch care because somebody used being the 60th vote to block single-payer healthcare?

Look, these are tough questions for which there are no easy answers. The important thing is that it hurt, and Joe Lieberman deserved it.

scotchnaut

The High Point Fightin’ Acmes are in tight vs Seattle U.

Horatio Cornblower

Joe Lieberman, former CT Senator, has passed away at 82.

Rest in piss, you fucking muppet.

blaxabbath

That’ll happen.

Brick Meathook

Speaking of the southern hemisphere, I just had the essential lubricants and filters changed in my auto-car, and now I just took on 109 lbs of motor fuels.

A lot of you have been asking about this so I thought I’d give you an update.

ArmedandHammered

I joined. I will let wife know we will need to visit Tasmania in a few years.

Sharkbait

Well shit. Now that I’m a founding member I should go to Tasmania to see a match right?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

….in 2028

Sharkbait

More time to save up for the flight

blaxabbath

And Boeing to start producing aircraft that will last until ’28.

Sharkbait

Checks flightradar for airlines that fly Airbus to Australia

blaxabbath

I haven’t see a member this Found since Giancarlo Granda inserted his penis into Jerry Falwell Jr’s ass.

Horatio Cornblower

Appropos of absolutely nothing to do with this post, I watched the new Dave Attell special on Netflix last night.

Dave is 5 years older than I am, and looks like he’s 15. The life of a stand-up comic apparently wears one down something fierce.

But he also had the line “If you jerk off on a Confederate flag and bury it a Cracker Barrel will grow there” so I recommend the special.

SonOfSpam

I very much enjoy him, thanks for the rec.

My wife very much does not enjoy him. I’d probably be concerned if she did.

Mr. Ayo

Just watched it today. It’s fucking great.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sigh. Ah, Essendon. Will you ever win?

[yes, they will win approximately half the time, I should be grateful they are not more like their American counterpart, the Jets]

yeah right

Hello fellow founding members.

SonOfSpam

WELCOME. The cool kids are doing it. Also me.

blaxabbath

Reads like a scam to me.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The BEST kind of scam. It comes with stickers.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yesterday I was in defense. Seems best for me so I don’t have to run as much but we’ll see if it ebbs and flows.

Game Time Decision

There’s actual positions? WTF.
Next you’re going to tell me there’s plays and strategy
-GTD having watched a few minutes of the game and understanding fuck all

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It’s not all that dissimilar from soccer. Forwards are up front and need to score goals. Midfielders are going back and forth and side to side, need speed and talent ball handling. Defense is obvious. The only one that is a massive departure is ruckman, and that’s closer to an NBA center in some ways.

There are more specific breakdowns between those positions but don’t worry about them until you know what things like a mark, goal, prior, etc are.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The early bye week is dumb but fine given the Round 0 start to the season.

Make sure you all get clued in to the latest sports drug scandal, though, it’s gonna fuck up Melbourne in a big way and potentially have big ramifications for the sport. The latest twist is below but short story is the league was testing players for cocaine and stuff and the players that tested positive would come up with a hamstring injury so the test didn’t have to be official, etc. WADA is gonna be pissed.

https://archive.is/dPu7c

BrettFavresColonoscopy

More details here: https://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/afl/news/afl-drugs-bombshell-mp-tells-federal-parliament-of-secret-illicit-drug-tests-allegedly-authorised-by-leagues-top-medico/news-story/e5999f6f4d289e358d3fa0c4533c1a38

And the AFL subreddit is all over it. And a great resource generally if you’re looking to follow the game/learn/ask questions. Just beware of spoilers!

blaxabbath

In 2024, cheating in sports is a nothingburger.

I mean, how the fuck is Russia still in any sport? Do we let cannibals from CannibalLand field a hockey team in the spirit of Humanity?

Doktor Zymm

Ah why not, it’s $13.90 with shipping, but those are funny money dingo dollars so it’s not even that and I dig stickers

BrettFavresColonoscopy

ONE OF US! ONE OF US! GOOBLEGOBBLE

Senor Weaselo

$13.90 Dollaridoos is right now… $9.07?

Last edited 7 months ago by Senor Weaselo
blaxabbath

Pool update:

Finally got deck lights on. Naturally the electrical is whack and needs a switch added but I’m pleased enough with CORY’s work — this is his little side hustle with the low voltage. The downshot lights on the right are mounted into this original slump block wall and he did good getting those flush and tight on that surface. We just approved his selection so whether it was the ahopping or the work, that’s good. Plus the low voltage wires looks all well covered, best I can tell. I need to check the lights in the deck but my boy raced around there like running man last night (because this pool needs RUNNING KIDS NOW) and none of the lights caught my attention.

So the switch, the holes for the kid fence, and those dicks finally coming and painting my divng board stand — that’s Cory being some pool.guy project manager — so I can reinstall the diving board.

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Sharkbait

When is the grand opening?

blaxabbath

Aussie Halloween Equinox?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sharkbait next month (artist’s conception):

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blaxabbath

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Doktor Zymm

I hear running kids are great for homeowners insurance rates!

Looks super nice though, and just in time for spring

blaxabbath


“My wife: “It looks so nice I don’t even want to put the fence back up.”

Me: “Well I’m drilling the holes and having the panels together so it’s an easy install when you tell me you want it up.”

My wife: “And yeah it really does make everything else back here look like shit big time.”

My Mistress: “Oh you poor thing.”

-Sill Bimmons

LemonJello

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SonOfSpam

Pond is good for me.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You calling yourself scum?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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blaxabbath

I always love how Krusty is treated like his appearance isn’t that of his clown character 24/7.