Teh Hippo is off on a well-deserved break as the EPL wrapped things up last week with Man City getting their fourth Premiership in a row. Anyone that doesn’t think Pep Guardiola is the greatest coach of this generation is an idiot.
Anyhow, before we get into how we did with our predictions, I want to highlight some of the other European leagues this week:
Spain
Real Madrid has wrapped up the title and will probably win the Champions League next weekend. The big pleasant surprise has been Girona finishing in third place and getting a Champions League spot for next year.
The last games of the year are today and all at the same time. The only thing at stake is pride as all the spots (Champions League, Europa League, Conference League, and Relegation) have been decided.
Germany
The season wrapped up last week with Bayer Leverkusen winning the Bundesliga with no losses during the season. Today, they take on Kaiserslautern in the German Cup Final.
On Wednesday this week, they faced Atalanta in the Europa League Final. They got their asses handed to them 3-0, preventing them from a shot at finishing the entire season undefeated. Best believe me that they are going to DESTROY Kaiserslautern.
Italy
Serie A wraps up today with Inter having won the title weeks ago. The drama is at the bottom with Empoli and Udinese trying to not get relegated. Udinese plays 15th place Frosinone while Empoli plays Roma. Empoli is fucked.
***
I like to check back at the end of the EPL season to see how well we did at predicting stuff. Call it an accountability thing or call it a competitive thing. Now, that the season is over, I thought I’d check how we did. Here is a handy dandy table showing the results:
| ACTUAL | Hippo | Litre | Balls |
| Man City | 1 | 1 | 1 |
| Arsenal | 3 | 3 | 3 |
| Liverpool | 4 | 4 | 4 |
| Aston Villa | 10 | 7 | 12 |
| Tottenham | 6 | 5 | 2 |
| Chelsea | 9 | 8 | 11 |
| Newcastle | 5 | 6 | 6 |
| Man U | 2 | 2 | 5 |
| West Ham | 8 | 11 | 10 |
| Crystal Palace | 17 | 15 | 13 |
| Brighton | 7 | 10 | 10 |
| Bournemouth | 13 | 14 | 17 |
| Fulham | 11 | 9 | 9 |
| Wolves | 14 | 13 | 14 |
| Everton | 19 | 12 | 18 |
| Brentford | 12 | 16 | 7 |
| Nottingham | 20 | 17 | 19 |
| Luton Town | 15 | 20 | 20 |
| Burnley | 18 | 18 | 16 |
| Sheffield U | 16 | 19 | 15 |
BTW, yes, I screwed up and put two teams at 10th. The ironic thing is they finished 9th and 11th. I suck.
It looks like Litre is this year’s clear Litredamus. That’s a pretty solid showing with four teams picked in their exact finishing positions. That’s 20%! He also picked all three teams to get relegated even though they finished in different positions than what he predicted. That’s pretty impressive!
We will do this again next year and I will try not to pick two teams in the same position. No promises, though!
I did the old school 5 plus mile walk today by the inner harbor.
All the way to the Vincent Thomas bridge.
It’s fleet week here in Pedro and they’re expecting 100,00 visitors this weekend.
Shit, I walked past about 40k today.
Got a nice look at the USS Iowa and there’s a few more ships by my regular walk which is completely inaccessible because of the tourists.
Fucking gorgeous out there.
Holy crap. The Carl Vinson is here.
Goddamn aircraft carrier.
That explains the crowd.
Canuck/Swiss game headed towards bananacakes…
Checking in on Leverkusen’s goalie
One might expect things to change, with Baby Aspirins down to 10 for the entire 2nd half. But one would be quite wrong.
Leverkusen getting closer to breaking the record of most victories in Germany held by the Red Army.
Further Adventures in Sharp Knives:
Late Last Evening + Drinking + Washing Dishes + Blood-thinners + Knives= Blood everywhere and Wifey insisting I go to the hospital and get stitches.
My Response: “Stitches are for bitches!” (I was really drunk)
Do type this today as a man?
Or as some kinds fucking BITCH!?
Content, baby. It’s all about content.
Are these really accidents, or are you and the missus just getting stabby?
My boy needs to learn about spending cash and performing transactions. Do today after breakfast, we took him out to spend some of his tooth loss money.
I was surprised at the line. But I also have not yet tried my purchase. The register lady was nice and good about my son and me doing the transaction.
Part of me is just biased that this old weird thrift store building is supposed to be some ‘that good’ donut shop — when no one in town could ever do anything with it. Strange times though.
Erik Less Than Ten Cups Hag gets a reprieve?
The last time I saw someone so disappointed about having less than ten cups was Andy Reid with regards to the barbecue sauce supply for his 7 a.m. “eye-opener” spread.
Could f/k/aTreyverkeusen also whittle themselves down to a DonT oneble? Be back in two hours to find out!
DOKU!
/Was just about to say he can only go to his left and then he does that
It’s insane that he comes off the bench for Man City.
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/116b2605-2409-4e47-8815-5ba01505f786
and that is what the Brits call a “worldy”
Game on!
And over!
Onana is also a really good Keeper, the amount of unjustified shite heaped his way early in the season was nuts
When you spill your seed on the ground as much as he does there’s bound to be some blowback.
You were saying?
Do I ever have great timing or what?
(though in hindsight, maybe he was as surprised by Doku going to his right as scotchy was)
PALO OTRA VEZ!!!!
I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a guy with such an explosive first step as Doku.
he’s really fucking good, likely next season’s “Great Leap Forward” Cityzen
PALO
PALO!!!!
“I CALL THIS MAN CITY TEAM ‘TWO GIRLS IN 2007’ BECAUSE THEY ONLY HAVE ONE CUP.”
BANNER
Side benefit – we are TOTES getting a Wakezilla (and wingwang/bandana) drive-by today
Lesser historians will go full Herodotus over 23/24 Man City’s amazing oneble.
God, that is amazing verbiage.
50% Hippospeak
The oneble. Genius!
f/x making a series about the (original) Shitty Clippers?
I really wish EtH went over to Tory Jim at HT to inquire HOW MY ASS TASTE??
I feel like the proper response to this ban on including pronouns in your email signature would be to attach ASCII penises or vaginas instead.
https://apnews.com/article/pronouns-tribal-affiliation-south-dakota-66efb8c6a3c57a6a02da0bf4ed575a5f
What’s Noem gonna do if she refuses? Drag her out to a gravel pit and shoot her in the face?
If humanity has ever done anything dumber than “The Pronoun Wars” – I don’t even want to imagine. Maybe Prohibition?
That whole “Crusades” thing was pretty dumb in hindsight…
We never should have stopped being pagans, seems like a lot of the dumb stuff comes from monotheism
“Yeah!”
-Aztec priest, ripping some guy’s heart out to offer to Quetzocoatl so that the corn will grow.
/let’s check in on some pagans from Peru
The Moch may have held and tortured the victims for several weeks before sacrificing them, with the intent of deliberately drawing blood.
Unexpected Jinjo is the only way.
“Unexpected jism” is why I have two kids.
If I wasn’t at work, I believe I know a minor noble who would emphasize.
If clichés are gospel, Untied is fuckT
Should this result stand (it will), Men Untied to Zooropa, Chelski bumped down to Zooropa NIT, Geordie Arabia out of Europe entirely
oh baby, Men Untied got a STEW goin’!
I don’t know who has worst flow: Man City or this Peruvian stream
(HippoProstate says hold our cerveza!)
Jeje. It’s “aguanta”, which means both “hold” and “endure”. Perfect for an Old Milwaukee.
they stab it with they steely knives
but they just can’t drink The Beast!
Oh my. Untied is up 🤣
For reference, that is what the Brits call a “howler”
Josef Tito (pours turpentine) would’ve exiled all Gvardiols after that pass.
Bruno Fernandes being a dick. Well I never…
Theodore from The Chipmunks don’t even make the bench. doo-doo! doo-do-da-do!
[wipes sweat from brow] Kovacic is not in the starting lineup. Whew!
Pep wearing a TIE???
Looks like Tory Jim’s wife might have been late with his breakfast by 90 seconds or so. I mean, she FELL, OK???
The hockey world championship is off to a high octane start-Czechia/Sweden is 2-2 with 10 minutes left in the 1st.
Are the Goalies still on the bus?
5-3 now. This is turning into a good game.
They’re hungover, cut them some slack.
You know how the Swedes are, smh
Perhaps a preview and recap of Hippos’ Priemer League on Saturn’s moon Titan in the year 4529?
My current 23-match unbeaten streak (defeats on pennos don’t qualify as a “loss”) is a new Salford Hoodrats Shield record!
The more I think about it, the MOAR concerned I am about gravitational changes in this-coming 46th century impacting set pieces.
Can you pls have a detailed paper on Gilkey’s desk within, say, 72 hours?
According to that song by the year 4545 the players won’t need teeth or eyes, so at least that’s a savings on the health plan
legends foretold of a self-proclaimed demigod “Mike Brown of Cincinatus Bengali Pride” who used his self-proclaimed “email from God” that said health care coverage and benefits packages are blasmaphous.
The other demi-gods of his ilk soon took this “vision” as their own, and through the millennia, the proletariat remains under the gods’ heel since.
You already described modern day England.
Great work, Ballsy! Always good to see how truly bad we are at predicciones.
Here’s Hippo’s next vision – should Men Untied beat the noisy neighboUrs for the FA Cup today, Tory Jim (Ratcliffe) will wait until tomorrow to sack him.
Agreed, great hustle here Balls.
Bonus redux Marika approving Pic.