You’re not getting much from me today. I did not write this post ahead of time, as I usually do, and I just came back from playing golf (badly) in the heat.
I’m so tired, I have no energy to bitch at y’all for criticizing my beloved Marika and her slutty picture. I’m just going to reuse last week’s gif:
I am slightly disappointed that this site has nudity standards because Marika has some outstanding pictures of herself at the beach topless. She got some nice nipples, yo! You know who else has nice nipples?
I am voting for RFK’s nipples and I suggest you do too.
***
Golf Update
I got a Par today on a Par 5 that I’m hoping will get me a Skin but I kinda doubt it. It was a pretty forgettable round. Two 10’s, a 9, and an 8.
Yeah.
It’s still fun, though, and I had a good group. I was happy with my choices of clubs for the 4 Club Tourney. On to the next one!
***
Copa América
Canadá needs to beat Uruguay tonight to get the official 3rd Place spot. Uruguay is probably still pissed off about the Colombia game. Canadá is pissed off because of how they’ve been treated.
I predict at least one fight and I will be greatly disappointed if one of the Canadians doesn’t pull an Uruguayan’s jersey over his head during the fight.
Tomorrow is the final and I’ve got Colombia as your winner. What say you?
***
I saw the NATO press conference and, as I mentioned on DFO as it was happening, he was putting me to sleep. Joe’s Gotta Go.
I need to put that on a T-shirt and start selling it.
I think it would be really funny if both Biden and Trump died of natural causes prior to the election. No one is prepared for that scenario.
***
Women I would not bang with Peter North’s dick:
- Lauren Sanchez
- Kamala Harris
- Any of the current pop stars of today’s music (including Taylor Swift)
Women I think y’all think are disgusting but that I would absolutely bang if given the chance:
- Marika
- Megyn Kelly
- Kayleigh McEnany
- Tomi Lahren
- Tulsi Gabbard
***
As a quick reminder, the full Summer of Soccer schedule is below:
***
Your weekly Psych gif:
***
Your weekly hot girl pic:
***
Your weekly music video:
***
One last thing:
This being in Butler County, Pennslytucky, I will not be shocked in the least if the shooter was just a drunk redneck upset with all the damn noise happening over the holler, and just opened fire to shut everyone up.
Per the internet the feds have confirmed that this was an assassination attempt, which seems like a real stretch given that someone laid on a rooftop outside a security permitter and used an AR-15 to take multiple shots at a Presidential candidate.
You’re probably correct about the rifle… my guess is .223
It was reported AR-15, but who knows if that’s true.
Time to pull the trigger on buying my own while I can, then.
I should have thought sooner to ask about a meetup before I had no more weekends left here (probably).
Whenever there’s a UFC fight and one guy is tanned and absolutely ripped, and the other guy is some pasty motherfucker who looks like he stumbled out of a dive bar at 3:30 am spoiling for a fight, bet heavily on the pasty motherfucker.
“Round is a shape”
May as well add the female agent grabbing Trump from the front. Put a different spin on Fuck the Police.
Dot
Marika who?
Tulsi is the coconut mama
Just did some googling and learned that Elden Ring is a thing. Not what I was looking for, but lead me to where I wanted to be.
There’s always a Dril tweet.
https://x.com/kennedytcooper/status/1812271574034022588
From 2019 for Christ’s sake.
…fake?
Dril has confirmed that it’s real.
Of course, he could be lying. it is the internet.
You can’t just do that. Go on the Internet and lie?
Who’s Dril?
UFC fight just stopped due to the most brutal cut I think I’ve ever seen. Looks like the winner shot the other guy across the eyebrow, perhaps from an unguarded rooftop just outside of a security perimeter.
I finally get the theme for this post.
Can we do it again until we get it right?
Impressive bang list Buddy. I concur.
She’s just…. Damn
Yes.
She.
Is.
DAMN!
This is a much sexier, classier, and just better picture.
Don’t slutty picture shame
IT LOOKS LIKE SHE’S SHITTING FRUIT!!!! HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THAT!?!?
I’M THE GUY THAT LIKES ANAL! HOW DO YOU THINK THAT BOTHERS ME?!?
Buddy, I have no problem with that and totally respect that, but if I’m getting down to that with my partner and am suddenly confronted with a fruit platter and several champagne glasses I am going to have questions.
Looks like AI on my phone
Well, at least it’s better than Achewood. But it still sucks.
Ha ha!
Gonna call you Mr. Iracle Whip from now cause of how wrong you are
This is for Ayo:
Thanks. That’s also awful. I still gave you a +1 though.
Props to the Secret Service though. They were on there in a moments notice.
Now about that building’s roof being within clear, unobstructed sight of the Protectee who will be static and stationary. That’s Rule Number One, man!
Can’t wait until they start razing buildings so these assholes can have rallies.
You don’t need that. A clear, bulletproof glass and this is a slow newsday.
Other parents kids will ruin your kid. Case in point: Girlzilla has become a Taylor Swift fan.
So now we’re streaming this Taylor Swift concert.
I don’t get why she’s so popular. Does anyone know?
On an unrelated note, my Girlzilla also has gotten into Dua Lipa. Now Dua Lipa is someone I could get behind.
He he
Dua Lipa and Rita Ora. Albanian Excellence.
1996 telecomm act.
A chart. Trump turned his head to look at a chart and that’s why he was only took a glancing shot to the upper ear instead of one through the head.
This is the real-life version of the rat flipping being a switch being the one successful future out of 14,000,605 in Avengers: Endgame.
Except, you know, the opposite outcome because we’re all boned.
We also know the shooter was some video game dude without real training because he went for the headshot instead of center of mass
“Aim assist! Where’s the damn Aim A-“
“I knew I should have leveled up marksmanship instead of all those charisma points! It’s not like I even got high enough for a single date anyways..”
leaping off the roof and trying for the 360 no-scoop to prove I’m not a noob, and forgetting that gravity is real.
“I’m Johnny Knoxville, and this is Jackass!”
“hi im johnny knoxville, and this is late-stage empire.”
look at it this way.
hitler survived a zillion assassination attempts over the years. luckiest man ever, and all that final destination shit finally came time to pay the price in the worst way:
he died and took a zillion nazis with him
had even one landed early on, there is probably a peace treaty somewhere and the war ends, and many, many nazis cheat the hangman
Or the Nazis win or at least extend the war because they aren’t led by an incompetent general on meth
pre-stalingrad, maybe. post? it was a matter of which defeat were they gonna get.
and like i said, they took the final destination total failure one
I would say we are reichfully screwed now.
This isn’t getting nearly enough love
A lot of people are probably distracted and did nazi it.
Looking at the pictures from the rally, the secret service has really cheap looking suits. Polyester or something, NAWT a quality fabric
I NEED TOM FORD AND I NEED HIM STAT!!!
“Wow Boris, nice suit, that Armani? How’d you afford that on a lowly bodyguard’s salary?”
I was going to say that the suits are probably like in John Wick but he dresses WAY better
A joyous crowd chanting “U-S-A! U-S-A!” as a presidential candidate is dragged-rushed away after an assassination attempt is the most 2024 you can get.
We’re headed for a Summer of ’68.
Or 81
https://youtu.be/FMWJXWrenm0?si=sfvMSNk-bEturm1F
Do I take futbol too seriously?
Yes.
A psycho? No.
That sucked AND some one didn’t kill the cheeto.
Mazzy Star- Fade into you, on my front step solo as I haz sad
UFC Fighter: “I just love to bang.”
Me: “As do I, although I doubt we’re talking about the same thing.”
Everything sucks
I’m still a fan of cheese, but yeah, pretty much everything
https://www.reddit.com/r/IASIP/comments/1e2rjxu/let_me_go_get_my_pocket_onion/
Oh, UFC Fight Night! I’m sure I won’t hear any unhinged political commentary here!
No political violence there, just good old fashioned violent violence!
President Biden has suspended his campaign after hearing that was a shooting involving Butler, saying “I really hope President Tim Curry is okay and will be praying for his speedy recovery.”
Communism was just a red herring.
Butker, on the other hand. Maybe just a light whipping so he could fall in line? You know, what he would do to his unruly wife in his Gilead Wonderland.
Watching some of the Yankee game from earlier today at Camden Yards, and I regretted not going there during DFO Baltimore, although since the Orioles were out of town that week it probably would have been pretty dull.
But then the announcers talk about it feeling like it’s 101 at the stadium today and I figure it’s probably better we spent all our time getting hammered in air-conditioned bars.
Speaking of leaking air-conditioning….
I guess the theme of the day is
Surviving an assassination attempt is the most important quality I’m looking for in a President, so I’ve finally figured out who I’m voting for.
If Trump was really presidential he would have some higher quality assassins. HUUUUUGE assasins.
Disappointing, but 4th place is a very good result for Canada.
And hey, at least they don’t need to fire their coach after stepping on their dicks against Panama!
One of the Men In Blazers guys said, “They lost to a Van Halen single!”
Fuck
Fuck sakes.
This guy gets it
¡PALO!
alito’s wife now gotta buy about four more flags to fly upside down
I’m rooting for America’s Hat, but man do I love seeing those stutter step kicks fail.
Kick the fucking ball.
Finally some good news, I think I just about have the right ratios on the watermelon/pomegrante variation on the Steve Austin margarita I mentioned a week or so ago. Dunstan, (I think), pointed out that it still needed lime juice to keep the acidity in the drink. First time I tried that with the margarita partially consumed and the full 2 oz. of lime juice.
Way off.
Ive since cut the lime juice back to 1.5 oz anyway, because Mrs. Horatio got me some real lime juice and at 2 oz it’s way too sharp. Tonight I added a full 1 oz. of watermelon juice, then 1-1.25 oz of lime juice, keeping all the booze the way it is in the original recipe.
I think I have to drop the lime juice to 1 oz. even, then it’ll be fine.
Actually, the melting ice is diluting the sharpness just enough that I may keep this the way it is.
Not a big fan of diluting drinks with ice, but even less of a fan of temperatures in the 80s with humidity in the 70s.
JFC…
Look, why would you mark Luis Suarez running wide open down the middle when you had the option of doing nothing instead?
Stupid hat. At least my fedora looks better in comparison.
The memes tho
The best things about today’s events are going to be the memes.
Mephistopheles has gotta be the most useless motherfucker in Hell. Can’t even call in his pacts properly!
Ho. Lee. Shit!
So that’s the name of the shooter according to the NY Post?
Well, I was in Annapolis all day, what’s everyone else’s alibi?
Nawt in the country
Playing golf
Could have been that slice on 8 off the Tee that hit him. That was tres tres bad
grillin brats with wife n child
Not feasible for me to get from a California Trader Joe’s to Pennsylvania in that time. Also, I wouldn’t have missed.
I was seen at the post office, gym and the town dump early in the day, but other than that I’m going to need to rely on the dog and cat to vouch for me, and that cat’s already looking for any excuse to backstab me.
I was killin’ somebody else.
Ooh, tough break that guy (or gal; I don’t judge), can’t vouch for you, what with being dead and all.
I was masturbating.
Self Portrait
Bradbury Building, Downtown L.A.
Canadians holding their own* so far tonight.
*bottles of maple syrup, slabs of Montreal smoked meat, Red Cap beer
democrat establishment, 24 hours ago: is there a way to get rid of biden
democrat establishment, now: i guess it will work itself out soon
with trumps sentencing the 18th of sept, pretty easy guess what the october surprise is gonna be this election
Not really. I would actually vote non-Trump Republican before I’d vote for Biden
those dont exist anymore
(sniff) I do exist, you big meanie!
(runs off crying like the non-existent bitch I am)
You live in California, no one cares how you vote for pres
This is true
That’s like saying you’d vote for the Abominable Snowman.
I am well acquainted with them on the golf course, so that wouldn’t be unusual.
Do we know if Luis Suarez was in Pennsylvania earlier today?
Mm… Suárez is more Tyson than Hinckley
These announcers seem really surprised that Uruguay isn’t making their best effort in a 3rd-place game in a major tournament, and that Canada is.
finally the real killer shows himself after oj dies
So far I’ve ruled out Richard Simmons, Dr. Ruth, and Shelly Duvall.
Everyone else needs to stay in town until we figure this out.
Police Chief: “A few inches to the right. Someone get Scott Norwood in here, now!”
You can also rule out the cancer kids in the hospital that Russia bombed, motive notwithstanding.
Oh a closed door mystery. I love these.
Oh, I’d forgotten that O.J. was dead. What an uplifting reminder!
Rush Limbaugh has also been ruled out.
kissinger, too!
Let’s not leap to any hasty conclusions on that prick.
URU blood! And so Canada was baptized into CONMEBOL.
Apparently “Good Guys With A Gun” failed target practice.
I made that joke to Hermana Weaselo!
You wanna talk about a bad day, I just dropped my ice cream cone.
That happened to my friend the other day but he caught it. Then he had horrible indigestion from the ice cream.
Take a pic, go back to the store and argue your case. I’m sure something like this has never happened before.
Did you like the sidewalk? How many onlookers? Clients? No—me? Never. This month.
* lick. Stupid phone
[record scratch]
[freeze frame]
“Yep, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I got here…”
Get my old man shoes!!!