Your Election Eve and NFL Football Open Thread

Tis a very weighty day tomorrow and I’m sure all of you have some thoughts so feel free to share below. Or you could lose yourself in this middling game. It’s up to you.

Minutiae:

-Luke Getsy is out of a job yet again. He was practically thrown out of Chicago and didn’t last 3/4’s of a season with his new team, the Raiders. What’s left for him? I think he’s done as an OC in the league so it’s position coach time in the pros or coordinator down with the college teams.

-Speaking of, Dennis Allen got the same treatment but as far as his prospects, I think he can grab another DC job. I think back to his last year in that spot and his first year as head coach, his units were of the shutdown variety. You’ll see him again.

-Olave seemed to have been thrown a hospital ball and now has another concussion. That makes four head injuries in the pros and another while at Ohio State. Not good.

-DAK! is gone for a while and it’s Rush Week(s) for them Cowboys. He did somewhat ok last time around but the anti-Cowboy ghouls (raises hand) are convinced their season is cooked.

To The Game!

Bucs/Chiefs:

-I alluded to it earlier but Cade Otton needs to repeat last week’s magic so that Don T. doesn’t get into the win column. Damn it.

-Without Godwin and Evans a wr has to step up but they seem to have a bunch of warmed-over talent there. I thought Jalen McMillan, a third-rounder might add up to something but he disappeared after scoring a TD in the first week.

-I’m guessing that Mahomes does just enough yet again to get K.C. over the finish line and the Bucs get the back door cover.

A bit brief tonight but I’m worried for all those that are vulnerable down in Canada’s nutsack should a certain result manifest itself. Unfortunately I see violence no matter the outcome, no way around it.

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fleshwound_NPG

you know how dumb nfl coaches are nowadays?

the best, smartest coach right now is andy reid and will be for quite some time

TheRevanchist

I mean, he hired Spags as DC. That is brilliant

Gumbygirl

Looks like this Hopkins guy might work out for them.

Gatoraids

AFC WestWorld

TheRevanchist

Overtime win? Overtime win!

Unsurprised

Andy Reid and good clock discipline?

fleshwound_NPG

apparently nobody on the bucs saw that bills/chiefs playoff game and what the chiefs are capable of doing in about 10-ish seconds

Horatio Cornblower

Three straight running plays up the gut, then go for 2. That’s the only chance they had to win.

Gatoraids

Maria Taylor endorsing stories by Tony Dungy and Jason Garrett as great entertainment. How much has joe buck paid her to taint our refuge

Sharkbait

That’s a catch

fleshwound_NPG

let’s see ol chiefs wiggle their way out of yet another very close game that they are nowhere near playing up to potential

…oh well, nonetheless

Horatio Cornblower

THIS TAMPA DEFENSE I CALL IT THE MONS VENUS, BECAUSE KHUNT IS RUNNING ALL OVER IT!!!

Last edited 2 hours ago by Horatio Cornblower
SonOfSpam

RIP Dikembe

fleshwound_NPG

one of the very few sports shows, or sports ANYTHING, my wife actually liked and watched with me

Sharkbait

Ugh, stop it with the Christmas themed commercials

Brocky

comment image

Unsurprised

Uncanny

Doktor Zymm

Cuter though

Unsurprised

More charismatic too

Doktor Zymm

I don’t think I’ve ever heard Mahomes sing, but I would bet Kermit has the better voice as well

Doktor Zymm

Weird step, knee-ded or no?

WCS
Gumbygirl

Heinies. He was butthurt about something

Sharkbait

NFL Offices: Can we flag The turf for hurting Mahomes?

Gatoraids

Et Tu Surf and Turf , Et Tu?

–A Reid

Mr. Ayo

RIP Mahomie

Brocky

So, did Xavier worthy bang someone’s sister or something?

Did he share a meme of mahomes as Kermit?

WCS

It’s possible he’s a virgin and/or never had sex with a someone with a sibling.

Sharkbait

I hate the Devils but credit where credit is due.

comment image

Col. Duke LaCross

Peyton Manning asking about a “sack specialist” has buried the needle on the irony-meter.

Unsurprised

Join us next week for their interview with the Master Teabagger from Lipton.

Gatoraids

Thought the Geneva Convention banned unleashing Giants/Panthers on foreign soil.

Unsurprised

The what now?

Unsurprised

That Saquon hurdle is seriously some Icecapades ahit

Gatoraids

when you are free of Los Gigantes any other obstacle is rather small

Unsurprised

Eww. Comet game.

Horatio Cornblower

The only voice that makes me change the channel faster than Trump’s voice is Chris Berman’s voice.

Gumbygirl

Time to revisit the classics

Gumbygirl

Fuck, premature post! Give me a second…

FcCFI86XEAAk-ZY.jpeg
Gumbygirl

.

FaInyUEXwAMObbH.jpeg
Gumbygirl

.

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Horatio Cornblower

Joe Rogan has endorsed Trump, which I’m sure will move those well-known undecided voters who listen to Joe Rogan.

Dunstan

What a shocking development.

fleshwound_NPG

BAILOUT CHEFS BLEERGH is worst BLEERGH

litre_cola

So, D-Hop still has skills.

Gatoraids

Titshank Redemption and he’s free

fleshwound_NPG

the bullshit plays will continue until morale improves

jjfozz

Hmmm, zebras missed that hit on an out of bounds player. Wait, it’s KC.

Brocky

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ballsofsteelandfury

That’s perfect!

Horatio Cornblower

No, if it said “Shut up, Bird!” then it would be perfect.

Unsurprised

I keep forgetting she’s from Oregon. I wonder if that helped inspire the joke.

jjfozz

Even though I am a marketing weasel by trade, fucking Xmas commercials already on the air is pure shit.

jjfozz

Does Joe Buck drink the Chiefs’ jizz straight from the source or does he mix it up to make milkshakes?

Gatoraids

Even Chloe is concerned

whereItsAt.png
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– a member of the Sunshine Band, opening the closet door in his own bedroom against the protests of his wife that he’s “being crazy, there’s nobody in there.”

herodotus450

(nods approvingly)
-The Sunshine Band after seeing their cut of the merch sales

Spur

that’s why you should pronounce Missouri as Misery

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Final tally on the PA “firewall” is 412,143. That’s good!

I’m not sure how much our canvassing (and my phonebanking accomplished), but the Dr. Mrs. and I can take complete credit for at least one PA vote for Harris – her 79 year-old naturalized citizen mother, who voted in an American election for the very first time in her life last week.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

(oh, and the Mother-in-Law Mrs. Kim was registered as an independent, so her vote isn’t part of the above tally)

Gatoraids

That’s good hustle now get some snacks

King Hippo

that’s good SON-IN-LAW HUSTLE!

Horatio Cornblower

So you’re saying I shouldn’t bother calling in for my PA phone bank shift tomorrow?

Thanks, Rikki!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Honestly I’ve never seen the phonebanking Slack channel as crazy as it has been today – there are SO many people working right now. I was planning on getting to work if we started making calls to Iowa but it’s exclusively swing state stuff now (mostly leaving messages on answering machines).

jjfozz

I’m eating dried apricots, luckily for my coworkers I’m working from home tomorrow because my office is going to smell like a slaughterhouse in July.

King Hippo

oh yeah, I remember after I ate an entire bag of those once. The after-effects were a war crime.

ArmedandHammered

July, not too rough, but late September after the old blood has had time to rot? Beyond words.

ArmedandHammered

My wife was saying tonight that she not only does she want Trump to lose by a huge margin, but she wants him to be dragged to hell on screen, I also want that while a deep voice says, “You have failed me again.”

King Hippo

at the very least, his tiny dick should fall off

ArmedandHammered

Could anyone really tell?

Spur

We all better prepare ourselves for Trump nonstop bitching for the next two months about how this election was stolen. I mean even more bitching then usual.

Senor Weaselo
Spur
Brocky

Alright, tech support question, it seems no matter where I ask this, I cannot get a straight answer:

Can I watch The Monday night game on my phone without the NFL app?

I have the espn app, I have an espn+ subscription. I have a Hulu subscription. I do not have cable. What do I need to do here

jjfozz

I think you need a cable subscription, regardless of the app.

Why?

Because people in charge are dicks.

ArmedandHammered

You should be able to watch on ESPN, or at least listen to on NFL radio.

Brocky

My antenna sucks. I’m like halfway between Chicago and South bend. Sign is unreliable, plus I still hate joe buck

litre_cola

Gary?

Brocky

Valpo

Horatio Cornblower

No, he said Joe.

BugEyedBoo

ESPN+ doesn’t include ESPN. And Hulu doesn’t include Hulu Live. Our current lineup at my house looks just like that. You could maybe hunt up something on nflbite.com.

Spur

Evening Folks

litre_cola

Oooh out of the relegation zone for me!

Brick Meathook

It’s Vacuum-Seal Day! Today it’s petite sirloin steaks.

https://ibb.co/k0ZRM9K
https://ibb.co/3MDf2P4
https://ibb.co/rpsSVnX
https://ibb.co/1JVZnG0
https://ibb.co/gW89YHg

I know this looks like some survivalist shit but no it isn’t I just like sales and gizmos and I have a great freezer and vacuum-sealing is fun. These will keep at least 3 years in a deep freeze and when I put them in the refrigerator to thaw (still sealed) I’ve got at least a month to make up my mind to use them. I’ve actually cooked New York Strips 4 years later and they were just fine, so there. Once opened, use within 3 days.

Here’s the Panavision version. I used to operate reactor plants on atomic submarines, and I think it shows:

https://vimeo.com/1026334378

Gatoraids

Like turning your kitchen into a mini kill room

WCS

Let’s ask an expert. Hey, scotchy…

jjfozz

Jeffrey Dahmer would have loved this. Nothing like a penis that’s four years old, but still tastes like it’s fresh out of the box!

ArmedandHammered

Box? I would have thought sack, as he never seemed to be interested in anything from a box,

jjfozz

Well, Dick in a Box would have piqued his interest

litre_cola

Vacuum sealer has saved us so much money buying meat in “Family size” portions.

blaxabbath

How does the savings pencil out here?

Before, obviously, inflation.

jjfozz

I can’t murder the entire Chiefs team, but maybe I’ll inflict pain on KC fans by cutting off the supply of barbecue to the city.

Doktor Zymm

Andy Reid would leave, so definitely significant

Gumbygirl

There’s TayTay.

litre_cola

Taylor Swift! Drink!

jjfozz

Tonight, we are all Buccaneers fans. If you’re not, and actively rooting for the Chiefs, I can do nothing for you, as your soul has been damned to hell for all eternity.

Brocky

But I want Florida people to feel bad

King Hippo

If they were EVAR capable of feeling bad about they circumstances, they wouldn’t be in Florida.

jjfozz

So a friend’s mother passed away and I went to the wake. And guess what? His mother was laid out in the same funeral home, and in the same room that my father was.

What a joyful day! Holy shit.

King Hippo

Are any of you on this politics site? It used to be branded “Swing State Project” and then DKE for awhile.

https://www.the-downballot.com/

Great place for the number crunching nerd. I already ran across two Wolven Sort who read my old NC State blog!

fleshwound_NPG

vibes: polar opposite of the final days of 2016, but with the potential closeness of 2020

no matter what, this WILL be the stupidest week of an already stupid year (already off to a fine start with that squirrel and porn guy thing)

Don T

Cade Otton catch: the Drinking Game. It’s on! Predicción: I’ll be asleep by halftime 🤪

King Hippo

You make sure to give us PR election updates tomorrow, being our non-Union Steve Kornacki replacement!

Brocky

Are you my opponent this week?

litre_cola

I apologize for running around the clubhouse with a bandana around my wang when Mighty Whitey scored two in injury time to beat the Bees. My bad. Will hopefully happen again.

SonOfSpam

Good day for Full-Ham, bad day for DAK.

Ham is a land of contrasts.

Redshirt

(Fully dressed, sans pants off course, stares wistfully at three tiger striped, red and scarlet bandanas still in mint condition collecting dust on my Hope Chest)

No apologies needed, Litre. You do you.

litre_cola

Mrs. Cola is a Bengals fan. Our friend group demanded that she pick a team when we started dating 10 years ago. She feels your pain.

SonOfSpam

So we now know that Mrs Cola has voluntarily selected:

1) Litre
2) The Bengals

litre_cola

She is just like Jeff Fisher. .500 baby.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, I guess the Bengals are ok…

Doktor Zymm

We also know 3) Akavit

litre_cola

Oh God, that vile concoction.

King Hippo

Litre should ask her if she considers him the Cincinnati Bengals of HUSBANDS and then run from the pub crying.

Redshirt

(inhales sharply)

“Green, Jones, Sanu? Dalton in his slightly above average prime? Yeah, she should’ve done her research instead of buying high.”

Redshirt

.

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King Hippo

I THINK the threat of violence will fizzle out. Talk is cheap, but they see people getting real jail time from the last putsch attempt.

SonOfSpam

Yep, especially because there won’t be anyone to (pretend to) pardon them.

A few isolated nutjobs at most.

King Hippo

hasn’t happened at early voting, so I think mostly clear (just a few random nutjobs being jerks).

Horatio Cornblower

If they try to do Jan. 6 again they will get machine-gunned on the Capitol steps and ohmygod would that be awesome!

blaxabbath

Oh really? You think the people who do nothing but cry and scream and threaten but are too fucking s-l-o-w to do anything but watch TV and make the aforementioned threats aren’t gonna do anything? How did you come to that conclusion, Poindexter? Didn’t their improved fitness regime of sitting on their fat asses ever since Trump ran THE FIRST TIME and inhaling boob tube nonstop give you pause that they might just want to settle this whole governance thing with a good old fashioned fist fight in the street? You’re such a wise old oracle to tell us that people without backbones are lacking in backbone strength.

Redshirt

What helped Trump in 2020 was he had the power of the Presidency behind him.

Dream case, Trump loses by 100+ electoral votes, the Republican Party splinters between MAGA Republicans loyal to Trump and Republicans who secretly hate him. The GOP or its successor party takes at least 5-10 to establish itself. Also, in this scenario, I get to have mad, passionate sex with a buxom supermodel for longer than 5 minutes because everything I’ve written so far is just a carelessly written fantasy.

Best case, he loses by 60 electoral votes and goes off and buys Newsmax, which was his original plan of starting a News Channel had he lost in 2016 as planned.

Worst case, we get a 2000 or 2004 where one state decides the thing by a small margin and he has an argument to make.

Most likely, like in 2020, he’ll lose several state by small margins. He’ll whine and complain like the bitch he is, but without evidence to back it up and with the amount of persons needed to pull this off starts to reach triple digits, it will fizzle out and go away.

Horatio Cornblower

If Trump loses he’s moving to somewhere like Dubai to avoid all his felony trials/sentencing, and I for one am willing to make that trade.

Redshirt

“Vlad? That offer for a spare room still open”
“ Новый телефон. Кто это?”

blaxabbath

We found Bin Ladin. We can find him.

Else, Kamala needs to be impeached along with Hunter Biden.