Hold On To Your Butts: Tuesday Open Thread

LATE ADDITION: One our own lost her husband earlier today. She has had the courage and kindness to share their journey over the past months in our comments section. You have supported them through these hard days, and made sure they knew we were with them. This is the best of our website- our community. Spare a thought for GumbyGirl in the midst of tonight’s chaos.

 

Whelp, here we are. Four years of anticipation, anxiety and effort, crammed into one night.

That’s right: the Olympics kicks off in…

Wait, what?

Didn’t we just do this?

Fuuuck….

Fine. By the time you read this, polls will have started closing. Millions of complete fucking idiots will cast their votes for a brain-rotted rapist. His following of idiots and fascists (and both!) are openly enjoying the prospect of inflicting massive human suffering on innocent children and executing their political opponents.

Our best hope is that people with any amount of decency slightly outnumber them.

Normally I would apologize for my bluntness and making some of you feel bad for your political choices. But the only modification, disclaimer or softening I offer tonight is that my views are my own, and do not represent the official position of DoorFliesOpen, nor necessarily those of any other owner or author.

Feel free to cuss me out in the comments. Hopefully the madness gripping you and your party breaks like a fever.

There were some NFL trades today. The only one I care about was WR Jonathan Mingo going from Carolina to Dallas for a fourth rounder. On balance, Dallas paid more for Mingo than they got for Amari Cooper. That makes me happy.

 

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
Feared conqueror; scholar; poet; revered holy man; professional raconteur; soldier of fortune; aloof yet thorough lover; bandit; blazing gypsy speedboat. I have been called some of these things.
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Horatio Cornblower

I live in a very stupid country.

Horatio Cornblower

At least the right-winger running for State Rep in my district narrowly lost by 66%.

Doktor Zymm

If you want anything off Temu, go buy it now before anyone whispers ‘20% tariffs’

fleshwound_NPG

it does not look quite like the worst scenario, but still the dumbest

trump vs. dem house looks to be on the plate at the moment

blaxabbath

Senate confirms the Heritage Society judiciary.

fleshwound_NPG

they already did that

Brick Meathook

The AI gods have arrived

https://ibb.co/RD13jxf

Don T

Well… Are you?
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Brick Meathook

Just because I’m a robot doesn’t mean I don’t have rights.

blaxabbath

Harris wins Hawai’i.

But you all want to live next door to jackhole states like Florida and Arkansas…

Sharkbait

 jackhole states like Florida and Arkansas…
I’ll take “States that need to get fired into the Sun” for $1000

Dunstan

I’m too depressed to even drink now.

Sharkbait

Im with you on the former. I need at least a couple more

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It feels like the American Republic has put a gun to its own head so it can become an Empire led into the dustbin of history by a fucking clown.

Sharkbait

Losing your optimism really just seals the deal.

Gatoraids

at least we coulda elected a horse as senator

blaxabbath

Come on. JD will do just fine after Trump dies Jan 10th.

Dunstan

That’s the thing that floors me. For THIS guy? This is the guy America goes to shit for?

fleshwound_NPG

welp, see you all at the next republican administration recession and (half-assed) democratic cleanup!

again!

Sharkbait

Looking forward to the CEO of twitter tanking the economy WOOO

Gatoraids

filing my tax returns on X the everything platform

Gatoraids

going to love to see the debt default that incoming

Dunstan

Bold of you to assume that there will be a fair election again.

NotShogunButShogun

To Gumbygirl:
We always knew he was your favorite. You never had to tell us ❤

blaxabbath

Real excited to see how the Aloha State votes!!!

Dunstan

And Sherrod Brown loses.

Fuck you again, Ohio.

Sharkbait

We’re in a country of morons

Dunstan

Not really. They know who and what Trump is, and they want it. They’re shitty human beings. I’m tired of making excuses for them.

Sharkbait

Touché.

Dunstan

This fucking country, man.

Sharkbait

I half jokingly said in 2016 I’d look to bail but I’m not necessarily ruling out looking to see if I can get shifted to an office my company has in the UK. Granted this is probably the gin thinking but…what the fuck are we doing here?

Gatoraids

401ks fucked this country, have 4 union uncles who all make 6 figures who dont give a shit cuz theyre 40k1s went up or they get 100 dollar a month tax cut. Goldish level analysis

Don T

I’m very sorry, Gumbygirl. We all got to know Gumby through you, a devoted wife and dedicated caregiver. Anyone receiving that staggering amount of love would be extremely fortunate.
I cry with you, but I’m certain Gumby was a very, very lucky guy to have you in his life. My condolences, and admiration.

WCS

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Sharkbait

Im here. Nervous drinking but here.

Gatoraids

im steering into the eye of the storm, one drink at a time

TheRevanchist

I’m here. But I don’t feel optimistic tonight.

Sharkbait

You and me both.

Redshirt

Kind of tired. Thinking of falling asleep and waking up in the 1750s.

Gatoraids

well think we are closer than that we think, but no in a good way

Redshirt

Because we need a laugh tonight…

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Redshirt

,,

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WCS

That’s ironic.

Doktor Zymm

I’m actually doing some AI stuff for work, specifically prompt engineering, and AI is a huge pain in the butt.

Sharkbait

Can confirm. AI is a giant pain in the ass. Even from a compliance standpoint

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well the good news is that RFK Jr. will eliminate all those pesky “regulations” that you have to comply with.

Gatoraids

had someone blowing 30k a month on it a couple years ago and just getting abosultely wrong. Looks like corps wont be responsible for wrong , illegal or racist answers so its future looks promising!

Fronkenshteen

My most heartfelt condolences to GumbyGirl on her unimaginable loss. She has always been so loving, supportive and kind to me in this space.

Dunstan

I didn’t really expect Ted Cruz to lose, but it still sucks seeing him win again.

Sharkbait

Damnit. Of course he would win.

Brick Meathook

Washington Post says Cruz is projected to lose.

Gatoraids

Depending on Cobb County for Georgia dems home of the Big Bossman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhSh35ryueA

fleshwound_NPG

basically, yinzers and iggles fans are going to decide it all yet again

…while everyone is either asleep (near dawn) or at work (days later like in 2020)

Sharkbait

Come on Gritty. Don’t fail us now.

blaxabbath

Wonder how Ashlii Babbitt is feeling right now….

Mr. Ayo
Spur
Mr. Ayo
SonOfSpam

Dems hold Senate seats in PA, WI, AZ. Expected, but still good.

Maybe the GOP should run Kari Lake again for something.

Gatoraids

is OceansGate navigator an electable position?

Redshirt

Democrats staring at the blue Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania.

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BC Dick

Do it for all of us. Please.

blaxabbath

There’s three states that I always think of when I explain the term, “reliability”.

But I get it. Trump is gonna bring back their manufacturing and export the beaners.

Gatoraids

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SonOfSpam

Michigan is in the bag I think.

Wisconsin looks pretty good.

Pennsylvania? Still optimistic, drinking heavily.

WCS

We’re good.

Sharkbait

Needed that shot of hope.

blaxabbath

Blaxito is all into Is it cake?.

It’s cool because he only watches the competition parts about picking/cutting the cake. It’s only about 8 minutes per episode.

My child is a genius.

King Hippo

I am logging off all TV and internet. Hopefully, I am just the jinx and 270-268 (MI, PA, WI, NE-02) comes good.

That’s the whole ballgame, imaginary people. The world is a cold and hopeless void, incapable and unworthy of salvation.

Sharkbait

Crossing all of the things that you’re right.

Gatoraids

as someone has watched all the Thursday Night Games not going to quit on this shit show yet either

Gatoraids

tonight is just a warmup for Panthers/Giants on Sunday!

Sharkbait

What the shit Massachusetts?

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I was a Yes

Last edited 15 days ago by Sharkbait
Spur

Just leave a few wahlburgers out for couple days. they’ll give you the desired effect.

litre_cola

When the Cheeto won the 1st time the next night I went to a NOFX concert. For the 1st time of the dozens that I have seen them the band seemed so defeated and they were just doing their jobs. Sad evening.

Gatoraids

yeah used to be if conservaties won we at least got some good music cycles out of it and now just going to be AI garbage

Redshirt

Still nothing from Trump on Truth, just telling people to stay in line and vote. Odd. That is smart thing, but Trump does the impulsive thing always.

blaxabbath

He’s asleep.

Redshirt

He’s posting…or someone stole his phone.

Sharkbait

Need to take a break from VR. There’s only so many zombies to kill before I need a break. On to gin #2

Redshirt

I’m still at work. How nervous and/or freaked out is CNN and MSNBC? How big are the shit-eating grins on FOX?

Sharkbait

I’ve been intentionally avoiding. I dont like the sound of this…

WCS

About Ohio? Ohio was never going for Harris.

Gatoraids

CNN too busy with centrism to care, MSNBC too engaged in the Kornacki zone

Dunstan

Confidence level: falling
Blood alcohol level: rising

Mr. Ayo

Yeah, game over.

Spur

The rural counties always report early because they have fewer votes to count. The Metro counties are looking good in Penn/NC/Georgia so far.

Dunstan

I’m aware of the red mirage effect, but my impression is that GA is not looking great — Harris is getting smaller margins by a point or two in most counties, and that’s more than the margin of victory in 2020. And that’s before taking into account that a lot of the outstanding vote is Election Day voting that is likely to be less favorable.

And Loudon County, Virginia is a bad sign — Harris is going to win VA anyway, but it doesn’t bode well for PA.

jjfozz

I started watching Deadpool n Wolverine and I turned it off because:

  1. I couldn’t follow what the fuck was going on
  2. It was dumb as fuck
  3. It made me feel dumber than fuck
Redshirt

It’s better if you don’t think too much. The more you think, the more it contradicts itself and raises further questions.

Dunstan

I thought it was ok, but only because I went in expecting it to be dumb and loud.

You can’t take it seriously because the film tells you:
1) Both these characters are all but unkillable because they’ll heal from anything;
2) There’s a multiverse, so there’s an infinite number of near-duplicates of these guys.

So there’s really no stakes. I guess I’m supposed to care that this particular Deadpool’s home timeline will be erased? But Deadpool himself doesn’t seem to give a shit about anyone other than his ex-girlfriend, so it’s not clear why his happiness should matter to me.

Redshirt

Also, since they established that Deadpool and Logan are in the same Universe, all they did was transplant another Logan into the past and send Laura about 10-15 years into her past. Plus, with the anti-mutant stuff they put in, they will surely get sick as their immunity slows down. That’s not to mention the X-Men are still going to die when Xavier has a seizure and mind melts his students.

tl;dr Don’t think, just watch.

Bogdanski

Said it late in the last thread but it bears repeating: always and forever, fuck cancer. My deepest sympathies, GumbyGirl

Redshirt

Damn it, Ohio! You suck!

WCS

I’ve been saying this for decades

Sharkbait

We knew that already though right?

Doktor Zymm

Duh, they suck so much it’s even gen Alpha slang

Spur
Spur

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SonOfSpam

Sell it to the UAE.

Sharkbait

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Horatio Cornblower

Wrap it up folks, Harris has took the crucial swing state of Vermont.

Redshirt

Harris flipped Illinois. Start the parade.

WCS

FUCKK U LIBATRD TRUMP GOT BAMA WOOOO SWEAT HOME

SonOfSpam

And Bernie won too, good news for keeping the Senate.

Spur
Spur

I got some merlot for tonights hatefest

litre_cola

I approve this message!

From where?

SonOfSpam

Probably either a winery or a store that sells wine.

BC Dick

Zing

Spur

some grapes from Argentina.

Dunstan

It be a whisky night here.

BC Dick

Same. Cheap and almost completely straight. Just how my large-handed lady friends like me.

Senor Weaselo

Raise a glass to Gumby.

And also hopefully to freedom.

Spur

Those lines in Philly are still long. Are they passing out cheesesteaks and Philly tickets?

Redshirt

(gives laxative-filled Cheesesteaks to everyone in a MAGA hat)

WCS

My old roommate just told me waited 35 minutes.

I was literally second. I guess Pennsyltucky is a land of contrasts?

Redshirt

Interesting thing between the sounds of our sphincters clinching at the sight of Trump a third of the way home, I’ve been checking Truth and Trump hasn’t gloated or celebrated winning a state like he’s done in the past.

He’s scared. He knows something we don’t know?

Or they gave Trump a dummy phone and we’re fucked. It could go either way.

King Hippo

Still no real surprises. NC holding up ok.

Sharkbait

That seems oddly comforting.

SonOfSpam

I think it’s entirely possible Kamala loses GA and picks up NC. Samesies.

blaxabbath

You know, he let a lot of his base die.

And without immigrants to take their place — well, here Mr Businessman is.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m trying to avoid news for another couple of hours, but my understanding is that he hasn’t won anything but deep red states where they pretty much called the vote within a half hour of the polls closing. If that changes I’ll worry. Until then I’m just going to stress eat chocolate chip cookies and remind myself that none of this matters, because global warming is going to make the planet uninhabitable in two or three generations anyway.

blaxabbath

UNLESS WE GIVE BUSINESSES SO MUCH FREE MONEY THAT THEY MAKE PRESERVING THE PLANET A PRIORITY!

King Hippo

GA has shifted his way a decent bit, but that is a state with a GOOD (in terms of being competent) state party. You most certainly can NOT say that about MI, WI, PA.

I’ve seen nothing to push me off of 270-268 to Harris, I just HATE HATE HATE flying with no margin of error.

Sharkbait

The no margin of error terrifies me.

Doktor Zymm

All the hugs to GumbyGirl, we’re here for you. Cheers and salutations to a life well lived!

BC Dick

I second that emotion.

Dunstan

Minor celebratory point so far, though it’s not a surprise: the Black Nazi gubernatorial candidate went down in NC.

WCS

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Senor Weaselo

That could help!

blaxabbath

Nah — lot of tickets split votes Trump (yes) / Black Fella (no sir).

Spur

Kudos if he tweets a dick pic as a concession. Staying true to his self.

Spur

Took this today

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Dunstan

Current confidence level: shaky.

Blood alcohol level: 0.0, needs to be addressed

King Hippo

I’m still somehow only at DEFCON 3 (in terms of pills consumed)

Dunstan
Redshirt

Come on, God. You took one of our own. You owe us a miracle.

Horatio Cornblower

Just managed to disentangle myself from a phone call from a friend who loves to talk politics and is watching CNN, and Fox, and MSNBC and holy fuck how do you not just throw yourself out a window?

Sharkbait

That’s the worst version of Red Zone ever.

King Hippo

yeah, I can only stand MSNBC and I keep it muted unless Kornacki or Wallace is speaking

Dunstan

You could just tune into the Kornacki Cam.

Sadly, there is no Wallace Cam.

King Hippo

Her body language is NOT positive. Someone without a restraining order should offer a hug.

BC Dick

I’ve got a little flip between PBS and CBC. It’s a lot of blather. Just give me the close up voting shots and let me know who finishes first.

Mr. Ayo

I finished right around noon. Anyone beat that?

Sharkbait

Now to pour what I assume will be the first of many gins.

*Raises said glass to Gumby*

Spur

Let’s get this shit started!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2AC41dglnM

BeefReeferLives

You have my deepest condolences, GumbyGirl. Makes everything else seem rather piddling.

I don’t know what else to say besides cancer fucking sucks.

Redshirt

If anything is worse than ALS, it has to be cancer.