All the sports have ganged up and are playing today-the NFL of course, the Premier League, NHL, the Juniors, the NBA, women’s pro hockey, lacrosse… There’s something for everyone except Brick!
To The Games!
Jets/Bills:
Buffalo is gunning for the #2 seed so can we have a little on-field humiliation for Qaron please? It would only be fitting to match his recent off-field adventures. The Jets D is still surprisingly good (4th overall) but you can run on them because they’re middle of the pack there. So expect Cook and Allen to excel today.
Raiders/Saints:
New Orleans recently busted a seven game losing streak. Not to be outdone, Vegas’ 10 game losing skid came to a halt just last week. Both coaches are doing the, “these guys are professionals that want to keep their jobs so they’ll be playing hard”, in case you thought they weren’t going to.
Colts/Giants:
Indy is somehow still in the playoff race and should continue because New York can’t do anything right at this stage of the season. To those that need Tyrone Tracy (raises hand) for fantasy purposes, he sat out practice all week and is a go today. Why they haven’t shut him down-I just have no clue.
Cowboys/Eagles:
Saquon is 162 yards away from 2,000 and just might get it today vs Dallas’ 27th-ranked run D. It was classy of Eric Dickerson to come out and say that he was actively cheering against his record being broken. Eric, you’ve had it for decades, it’s time to let it go. (Saquon won’t get there)
Panthers/Bucs:
The fun part of this game is watching the pass funnel head to Mike Evans. He’s at 818 and Mayfield has said he wants him to extend his record of consecutive 1,000 yard seasons. It’s not as though Carolina is going to say anything about it.
Titans/Jags:
Hey, look who’s playing out the string!
Enjoy.
neat, they found a bunch of barbarian coke spoons
So they could have made Blaxploitation films back then, too!
Humps/VEP shootout – When Streaming Defensing Units Goes Wrong
Someday you’ll go far, Giants. And I really hope you stay there.
WAIT, I remembered I ain’t taken 2nd Pill yet. That will improve my outlook.
and Alanis Morissette just scored for the VEP????
yeah, I’m boned in Maths Is Hard. FUCK EVERYTHING
Site says you got an 88% chance to win, so math is hard?
nah, that counter is never right. His dudes are going plaid
Giants, yo mama so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.
I’d like to thank everyone who wrote to me complimenting my photo of a GE 5B press bulb in a polished Graflex reflector. And to those of you who put some coins in my Venmo account I’d like to thank you that much more, commensurate with your payment amount.
Since you all unanimously asked for more, here’s a different GE 5B press bulb, this time in a textured Rolleiflex flash reflector. The bulb was probably manufactured in the mid-1960s (it will still work – once) and the reflector is circa 1956:
Boo me.
Naw, you’re okay. Thank you though.
Also, thank you for the donation yesterday. I don’t remember if you did it or I just went into your account, but again thank you.
As a reward, just for you, here’s a second picture of the first GE 5B bulb in the Graflex polished reflector, which is circa 1951:
they bring good things to liiiigggghhhht!
Giants, thou churlish guts-griping varlot.
Is that Giants score correct? Redshirt’s insults must be very powerful!
Fucking Jalen McMillan is on a fantastic run but I sat him like a fool.
Good for you Brock! Just another few years and you’ll be able to go play for a good team!
And another brunch tip, if you don’t have a saber handy a vice grip works really well for opening that stubborn bottle of fizzy wine
Drew Lock taking the Gints out of the number 1 pick.
Hey, Giants? The Jerk Factory called. They’re out of you!
You’re doing well, keep going!
The secret to really good pancakes is to use way more butter on the griddle than any sensible person would even contemplate. If you don’t set the smoke alarm off you aren’t doing it right
“Don’t try to tell me how to set off a smoke alarm.” – Laremy Tunsil
If you don’t set the stroke alarm off
/you’re good to go now
The Giants make Aaron Rodgers look good.
Somehow I don’t mind the Cowboys playing well after they have been eliminated.
Yeah, it’s strange how mild my hatred of them has become
You’re going back into the Hate Machine for at least 36 hours!
Does not compute. Fuck Dallas.
Per Spam, the Giants respond
…to insults.
The Giants don’t suck. Their mothers though excel at that skill. They make Nancy Reagan look like a broken straw.
What’s in the water that makes every Eagles fan a complete fuckwad?
Hi!
go birds
Not watching, has Q-A-Ron been dismembered onfield yet?
I’m shocked the O- line is still blocking for him.
Outside is gross, don’t go
Not without pants at least.
Never do
drove kid to airport, will not be making any repeat excursions!
Holy shit, a lacrosse mention by someone other than me.
I watched the end of the Ottawa Black Bears game.*
*I saw the description on my cable channel and read it as “Ottawa Black Beans”
By God that’s the Buddy signal!!!!
They beat my Rock
I just realized that all my hopes rely on the Giants and the Browns. I am in Hell.
You should keep insulting the Giants apparently.
The REALLY Deceptive Speed of White Mac
That’s Rikki’s Raiders!!
Tis early but Tampa/Cackalacky has the look of a barn burner.
Wee Bryce, starter of both Grimace Touched My Butthole playoff tilts!
I’m starting to suspect the Giants are not that good.
They need to start Icebox at QB .
That was fun!
FACK. Heavy Jakobin involvement.
Better get that BlueBunny extension DONE, Jerral. YEEEEHHHHAAAAWWWWW
it’s bound to happen.
I got a feeling today is going to be Barkley breaks his ankle day.
DIE EAGLES DIE
Ok, I got out of bed and even contemplating putting on pants and walking the block to the grocery store to get strawberries and heavy cream.
At least I remembered the OJ for mimosas
My Picks
Chargers – 4.5 (Won)
Donks/Cincy Over 49.5 (Won)
Commies -4.5
Getting to that Donks/Cincy Over aged my 10 years.
Yeah, ha ha ha, I nearly died.
Morning Folks
Seems old bay is good on poutine, I’ll have to try it at some point
I would try the fuck out of that.
That would be terrific, if you replaced the poutine with Maryland crab cakes.
And the old bay with something edible
Abomination
At least one of my teams hasn’t disappointed me this year:
TEAM MOMO HAS WON THE MARBLE LEAGUE!
#TeamMomo
Hippo regrets not streaming Whitey/Cherries
Hippo is Kamala Harris?! I never would’ve guessed.
Borrowed from a friend:
Joe Burrow, after Cade York missed chip shot field goal:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzWNBmjyv7Y&pp=ygUddGhhbm9zIGZpbmUgaSdsbCBkbyBpdCBteXNlbGY%3D
Now that’s when Tits/Jags games were a thing to watch!
coloUr rush WOO!!!!
When color rush is so glaring, it cancels out Color Blindness.
NFL is inclusive and woke, peoples!
NFL Broadcasting 104 (Game Selection) by Professor Redshirt:
Redshirt is from Cincinnati.
Cincinnati’s NFL Team is the Bengals
The Cincinnati Bengals are still alive for a Wild Card Spot in the 2024 NFL Playoffs, but due to their defense being, and head coach having as brains, shit, they are reliant on NFL games not involving them.
They need the Indianapolis Colts to lose one game.
The Indianapolis Colts play the New York Giants at 1:00 PM on FOX.
They need the Miami Dolphins to lose one game.
The Miami Dolphins play the Cleveland Browns at 4:05 PM on CBS.
1:00 PM and 4:05 PM are different time slots.
FOX and CBS are different broadcast stations.
Cincinnati and the Bengals have a valid interest in the outcomes of the games involving Indianapolis Colts and Miami Dolphins.
In Cincinnati, FOX is airing the New York Jets vs. the Buffalo Bills instead of the Indianapolis Colts game.
In Cincinnati, CBS is airing the Musial Awards and the CBS Evening News instead of the Miami Dolphins game.
The New York Jets, the Buffalo Bills, the Musial Awards and the CBS Evening News have no bearing on the Cincinnati Bengals making the 2024 NFL Playoffs.
Why? Because FUCK YOU! That’s why.
“And the winner of this year’s Musial Award for Anachronism is:
/breaks envelope
“Payphones”
/scattered clapping
And you’re probably the only people in the entire universe that want to watch that Colts game too!
Colts at Giants tickets in East Rutherford (MetLife Stadium) – Dec 29, 2024 at 1:00pm | SeatGeek
Based on ticket prices, you are probably right.
I woke up at 8 and thought to myself “this is a good time to wake up so I don’t screw up my sleep schedule too much” so of course I rolled over and went back to sleep for another 2.5 hours. Still not convinced I should get out of bed.
Give it up. Sleep ’till Monday and try again.
I was kind of thinking I would get out of bed for waffles, but I would either have to make them myself or go out and my vague desire for waffles isn’t strong enough for that
Napoli wins regaining a share of the table lead.
That’s a hard color to pull off, if you don’t live in a nest on Sesame Street!
Hey… Hey… You said NEST…
I have packed up my shit in the box. Expecting Presidential Medal of Freedom now.
Read down below, amateur. I just took a great step in getting out of debt. I’m expecting that phone call from Musk and Rama..Rema…uh…Weirder Hair Mocha Trump soon about joining DOGE imminently.
I have almost been able to pay my quarterly taxes on time this year. Great progress for me!
Look, ah am a liberal. I ain’t supposed to understand how money works.
Rage level rising.
Robins Hood got a 2nd. It was too much to ask Still Quite Disappointing Everton to score a soccer point two matches in a row.
Good PM! It’s a brisk 78 here, long pants weather fo sho
I swear to fuck, y’all become a state, I am moving down there to run your Senate campaign.
They ain’t gonna become a status. Don T has been clear about that. Also, he doesn’t like when you get drunk and tell people he’s from PR even though he has also been clear on that.
I’m conclusion, Don T’s home is a land of contrasts.
Manifest Destiny will solve everything obvs
I thought we were Manifesting Greenland? It’s so hard to keep up with all the crazy!
Trump just wants to create a 51st State. There’s no logic behind it. He just wants to be the guy who throws on the 51st star.
Damn that is a shit slate of early games today.
And such small portions!
Just 2 in the 4p, too. Week 18 will also be a dog.
Yeah, Packers/Vikes better deliver because there’s nothing else to turn to.
I desperately need the Vikes to win, so Detroit stays motivated.
That’s because they’ve played 6 games in the last 4 days.
And we get the Bills-Jets broadcast here in LA!
Litre’s White Men a goal to the good over yeah right’s Sour Cherries.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rB4MCfMRhug
Started out like shite. Have grown into this.
Y’all gots to keep pace with Robins Hood for Shempions qualification!
Give us Europa please.
We’re not dead yet!
Was inevitable, we are playing like shit. Hangover from beating Chelsea.
(answering phone)
Me: “Hello?”
Bank: “Yes, is this Mr. Shirtowsky?”
Me: “Yes, speaking.”
Bank: “Good morning, Reedforth! We’re calling to investigate some suspicious activity on your accounts.”
Me: “What’s the issue?”
Bank: “Your credit card balance was completely paid off before New Years and your recent car loan payment was triple its usual amount.”
Me: “Yes, I did that, but I can see why that was suspicious.”
My bank doesn’t bat an eye when I use my credit card in Cincinnati and Atlantic City in the same day or but goes Red Alert when I practice financial discipline.
Sounds like SOMEONE’S “mature relationship to credit” has earned him a limit increase!!!!
Even if someone did steal your identity, do you really want to stop them if all they’re doing is paying your bills for you?
“He paid off your loans.”
“No, I did.”
“He opened several CDs worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.”
“No, I did.”
“He donated to the Trump Immagration.”
“… … … N- No, I-I-I… AH! I can’t do it!”
“I knew it! We’ll cancel the transactions, sir. Have a nice day!”
“No, wait a-” (click) “DAMMIT!”
Hippo got Stakhovanite production from Trey McBride, now I can sense a title if I get my last playing decision right – TWO of the following 3:
Jerome Ford (I am starting the MIA D/ST, but that cuts both ways)
Jakobi Meyers
Drake London (he supposedly has been fully cleared but if he’s a late scratch I won’t be able to replace him)
Jerome Ford has been producing a lot of points lately.
Probably because he’s on my team, I’m out of the play-offs, and all those points don’t matter.
Just put Drake in for the Jakobin. That’s what the nickel I flipped (and took 3 minutes to find) told me to do. I worry a bit about weather for SNF, but at least I know Sherman’s Ashes will be trying (don’t get the same vibe off RAIDUHS)
I picked the best week to be sick for sports watching. Great work immune system!