Somewhere in Cancún….
The assassin grumbled. She said to herself, “What am I doing out here? This is why you have underlings!”
She muttered to herself but she knew deep down she had no choice. Some work you just had to do yourself. If you didn’t, that would mean someone else would and, quite frankly, she could use the money for the Christmas celebrations. She couldn’t afford to waste more time
She saw him park his fat ass on the beach and put up an umbrella. It was about a 100 yards, but he was unmistakable. That’s what happens when the economy goes in the shitter. Everything becomes “lean” while the fat get fatter.
Why did she have to go into the office today of all days? I mean, there’s NFL football on the TV! And there are several games with playoff implications!
“Oh well. Might as well get on with it. The faster I do this, the faster I can get to the pool bar and watch the games. Stupid work.”
TO THE GAMES!!
Falcons at Cardinals
This game is only important for fantasy football purposes. For my personal benefit, I hope that Atlanta decides to rest Mr. Robinson and give him a well-deserved break. Much like their fan base, I don’t really care about the Cardinals.
Jaguars at Broncos
This is the premier game of the week. This will tell us who is for real and who is a fraud. For some reason, I think it may be the Jags that are for real, but the game is in Denver and that’s awfully tough for a team from the tropics.
Raiders at Texans
Can we just put Raiders fans out of their misery already? If they were dogs, they would be put down more for their benefit than anything. Just watch the foaming of the mouth. I’m pretty sure 90% of their fans haven’t gotten their shots.
Steelers at Lions
There is a chance that the Steelers go into Jerome Bettis’ hometown and pull off a miracle win. It’s about the same chance a guy has of pulling off a threesome with two hot Latinas and NO ONE gets jealous.
COMMENT AWAY!
That’s on St. Brown. If he wouldn’t have extended his arms on Ramsey, they probably don’t call OPI on that play or maybe even Illegal Contact.
Offensive Pass Interference is the most bullshit penalty in the history of football and this proves it with a fucking bow on top. Fuck the NFL. Fuck the Steelers. Fuck you.
Wheeeeeeee!
That’s why we watch this, isn’t it!
Detroit fans can boo all they want, and it’s fun to pick on the officials, but when you run ten yards down the field before giving the defender a two-handed shove in the chest you’re probably gonna get called for OPI every time.
Unless your name is Gronkowski. Then you go to the Hall of Fame on the first ballot.
What a stupid ending.
Why spend five minutes discussing if a touchdown was scored if it wouldn’t have counted?
Four officials each threw a flag, yet none of them knows what to call.
“Both teams are penalized 10 yards for…uh, Too Many Flags!”
Flags and Bananacakes!
You spike that ball there. By using your last timeout, you just took the middle of the field out of the equation.
Jesus. moar flags.
“It’s accidental” says Romo, watching one of the Steelers kick Goff right in the shins
Damn, that was a lot of flags
PALO
Pick One
-the 3rd overall draft pick for your team
-a real vanilla milkshake
-your nose
-lying in front of a fireplace reading a book
I’ll take the bookybook.
DOOR FLIES OPEN
/LemonJello sprints through the clubhouse with only a Jaguars bandana around his wing-wang
DDDUUUUUUUUuuuuuuVVVVVAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLlllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!
DOOR FLIES SHUT
DOOR FLIES SHUT
Sometimes HOA complaints are justified.
As long as our garage is the right coloUr beige or Deedra from the HOA will get anxiety.
Alright, Detroit, you’ve clinched the OVER. Now accept your place in the Universe and lose already!
On Joey Porter Jr’s birth certificate, where it says gender, they wrote in “asshole”
I’ve no idea why Fatty Payton can’t just let it go and kneel. Or at least hand off.
The Panthers are in 1st place in the NFC South?! What the hell kind of season is this?!
I’m starting to think the Lions might be a bit overrated.
Window might have closed, for sure. Amazing how really only one NFC playoff spot still undecided (MRSA Men or a Black Panthers party)