Your LA Rams Bye Week Update

Well, here we are fresh off a loss in London to the New York Giants.  What can we say about these Rams?

In my Rams Preview, I predicted the Rams would be 3-4 at this point.  Their record so far?  3-4.  Granted, it didn’t go exactly as planned.  This table will tell the tale:

The Rams have had only two real home games and have split them.  This means, of course, that my two buddies with season tickets are still waiting to see if they can make up the money they paid.  With a 3-4 team after the bye, things are going to get tough.

My two buddies have both told me that they are now trying to decide if they are willing to hold onto these tickets for the next two (?) years until the new stadium is built.  That is the payoff they are waiting for.  Not that the Rams will actually be good, but that the season tickets will become valuable enough in the future due to the novelty of a new stadium in order to post a profit.  Of course, this is the type of wishful thinking that led to the housing crash a few years back.  The only problem, of course, is that there is actually demand for housing in LA.

So, given that rosy situation, let’s talk about something else, shall we?  Something that will absolutely destroy any hopes that Rams fans have of gaining a foothold in the LA market.  I’m talking, of course, about

I want this to happen so bad it’s not even funny.  This is the best possible combination of city, team, and fanbase.  Not that there are Raiders fans in Vegas.  There aren’t.  There are, however, a metric shit-ton of drunk Raider fans that live in Southern California that love to party in Vegas on weekends.  Those of us that have done the drive up the 15 and stayed at the Motel 6, Imperial Palace (RIP), and the El Cortez know exactly what I’m talking about.

Those are the cheapest, dirtiest, diviest hotels that ever existed in a city that celebrates glamour and glitz.  They are the natural habitat of the LA Raider fan. I know.  I’ve traveled with them. I dare you to attend one pool party in Vegas and not find at least two or three dozen motherfuckers sporting Raiders gear or tattoos.

Of course, I’m just talking about the guys.  I’m not even talking about the girls at this point.  Poor poor girls.  The wife or girlfriend of a Raider fan is a modern-day saint.  She not only has to put up with his delusional hopes and dreams, she also has to be the somewhat-designated driver (cause baby has to get her drink on too) so he doesn’t get that third DUI and get his licence revoked and then how the hell are you going to get to work because the LA bus system is good, but it ain’t that good?

The LA public transportation system is actually pretty good.

Seriously, this is a marriage made in 24 hour drive-through wedding chapel heaven.

And the Rams are fucked if this happens.  More fucked than Houston.

Can I say anything positive at all about the Rams?

No, not when Tavon fucking Austin is sitting on my fantasy football bench because he has no stats the whole season and has Keenum at QB and Fisher as coach.

There is now talk that Fisher should start Goff and get him some experience to see what they have in him.  Essentially, people are saying it’s already a lost season, so you might as well plan for the future.  This is, of course, incredibly stupid which means that Fisher will probably consider it.  Michael Irvin, of all people, said on the NFL Network that the Rams are in a catch-22 situation. If Goff wasn’t ready to play Week One and STILL isn’t ready to play, then he probably wasn’t that good to begin with.  Which means that the Rams front office screwed up by choosing him instead of Wentz.  If he IS ready to play now and sucks (because the team overall sucks), then you are ruining him for the future.

Typical Rams:  Lose-lose situation.

I will stick with my preview prediction of a 7-9 season

I don’t care what you say, Jeff.  See you at the pool party! 🙂

SIKE!

If you think I’m stepping foot within 100 yards of that toxic bouillabaisse of venereal disease, you must really think you’re going to end up with a winning record.