Chip Kelly’s sweaty tits deserve their own thread, you know?
Hawaii (+18) at Westwood Klavern (3:30, ESPN)
$20 on the Rainbow Warriors to win – who says no?? Fuck you, YOU have a problem.
Later, NFLN has a doubleheader of Tits/Bearistocrats (7:00) and Spanoi/SeaTruthers (10:00). I mean, what the fuck else is one to do? Read, like some kind of fruitcake?
/defensively hides volume 2 of the “Dark Iceland” detective series
I learned very little today, but here goes:
- Handsome Mikel just might be fucked. Fortunately, that’s a face that can sell $20 truck stop handjobs.
- Pep don’t need no stinkin’ strikers!
- I hate for anything good to happen to the vile Redshite, but a point at home to 10-man Chelski ain’t nuthin’ to brag about.
- Toffees get to the break with…7 points? I mean, a favoUrable schedule, but still way above expectations.
- Palace finally scored. TWICE even, which they needed to scrape a point off Fronk’s Hammers. That has to leave a mark.
- Nebraska has a very, very stupid punt returner. You had to see it to believe it.
I miss those bikini competitions that came on late on Friday and Saturday nights. They should bring those back, but do the same conversely for reasons of equality. It’s only fair.
Essendon’s strategy of not scoring at all in the second half seems to be backfiring.
It’s not a good game anymore!
Now that it’s halftime, let’s check in on Hurricane Ida…
Oh. That’s…uh…that’s not good.
Supposed to make landfall on the 16th anniversary of Katrina. Damn.
It’s a good game at halftime!
Nobody else is still awake?
I’m awake but very low on fucks.
I’m awake but playing Civ and occasionally working on a take home
Just returned from a bar. For the first time in a long while, I’m more sober than when I left for the bar. (Combination of several “prelims” at home, and really slow service at the bar.)
GO BOMBERS!
/not the Afghan kind
TEN MINUTES TO KICKOFF!
I’m gonna go take a bath, and lather my blubber.
Just got back from mini golf and (honestly) I got a hole in one on two separate holes. I think that’s the world telling me that’s as good as it’s gonna get.
Artist conception:
You should go on Holey Moley!
We should start using this Goose quote when these unvaccinated idiots die:
Goose:
The defense department regrets to inform you that your <<insert gender/family relationship>>are dead because they were stupid.
The saddest thing about Goose’s death is that he was deprived of years of banging young Meg Ryan. Makes me cry every time.
https://youtu.be/AEfxKpftgC4
I just got back from walking the dog. Passed 3 houses with vote yes on the recall signs. Now I know where the stupid people live.
Now you know where to let the dog poop.
Sadly, she had already pooped twice by the time we got over that way.
LAC still translates to Clippers. Not sure how many more years it will take to think Femur Drums when I see it on the scoreboard.
BOLTMAN will never get to that point.
These last 20 laps are a great reminder why I should watch this oval circus from a DVR.
They’re nearly as bad as an NBA playoff game at this point.
And that finish confirms what a clown show these “races” are.
Exactly. I love what Kyle Busch said when they interviewed him after the crash.
Best throw of the preseason so far?
My dad deciding to bundle up his wendy’s bag and throwing it at the dog.
It caught the poor little guy square on the side, the little dude ran downstairs, now he feels guilty.
He misses the rottweiler like I do
Lovie’s face-furniture is awesome.
The gray just helps it look that much cooler.
So the interesting thing about deciding to drink an Aperol Spritz is that you’ve opened an entire bottle of Prosecco, so you’re kind of committed to multiple drinks.
I regret nothing.
You might have already honored this guy and I just missed it. This is going to turn into a firehose.
https://www.rawstory.com/anti-masker-caleb-wallace/
He leaves behind three kids and a pregnant wife, because that’s what Freedom Heroes do.
On one hand, I feel sorry for his kids, because they don’t get to grow up with their biological father.
On the other hand, I feel happy for his kids, because they don’t have to grow up with their biological father.
Yeah, got him on the morning thread. These were two pretty big gets by coronavirus.
Fingers crossed for Ron Johnson.
There’s a certain right-wing douchebag who’s now claiming he’s got COVID, but I’m holding off on celebrating as it may be bullshit given (1) he’s a known liar who is currently claiming to be “ex-gay,” and (2) he is bragging about treating it with the sheep dip, which I suspect is a prelude to an astonishing “recovery.”
But ya never know.
Sounds like Milo. His demise would be cool.
Yep.
One of the most perfect bits of satire I’ve ever seen was the Family Guy cutaway gag to Tom Green (back when he was a thing) sucking on a cow’s udders and looking back at the camera crying “do you find me funny now? Can I stop?”
Pretty much sums up Milo, too, except substitute “relevant” for “funny.”
Here it is:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuEAuJATuO4
What a gigantic fucking piece of shit. Mannnnn, fuck this guy with a million rusty butterknives.
I have never believed in anything as much as these people want to deny COVID.
Me too, except maybe Santa 55 years ago.
Such a bizarre mass self-deception.
They like to complain that COVID numbers are inflated.
Okay, let’s say only 20% of reported US COVID deaths are actually COVID deaths.
That’s still almost 130,000 people! That’s too many fucking people!
Also, that’s like 5-10 times as many flu deaths as we have per year–and they LOVE comparing it to the flu!
I’m willing to bet the number is underreported by at least 20%. Probably more.
Oh, I think you’re absolutely correct. The final US deaths alone will likely top 1 million, which is just an insane number.
I’m just gonna sit back and enjoy watching these guy thin their own herd.
It’s just pure, unadulterated schadenfreude. Just feels incredible.
Maybe next election cycle will not be blue vs red, but blue vs dead.
Fingers crossed.
right-click, save image as
.
“Goddamnit people, lay off the ivermectin! Some of us actually need it!” — John Elway
Just goes to show you can’t trust people who don’t understand how apostrophes work
The Hurricanes have signed the Canadiens’ Jesperi Kotkaniemi to an offer sheet. The signing bonus? $20. Nope, that’s not a typo. Also, if Montreal matches it puts them 8 million over the salary cap. Bit of gamesmanship going on.
That’s clearly payback for the offer sheet that Montreal’s GM signed for a Carolina player a couple of years back. If the NHLPA has any balls, they’ll file a collusion lawsuit. And if I had any work ethic, I’d run five miles tomorrow morning, so there we are.
Yup, apparently the Carolina’s GM’s statement is a mirror copy of what Bergevin said when the latter tendered Aho two years ago. Fun!
Habs can match the offer sheet, though. Shea Weber is going to go on long-term injury reserve, so they’ll have the cap space.
The ol’ Tampa Bay Lightning approach.
If Weber comes back for the playoffs, yes. But speculation is he’s done, permanently.
https://twitter.com/Canes/status/1431733973462487050?s=19
Like, they’re not even trying to hide it.
To be clear, it’s not that it’s illegal for the Hurricanes to retaliate against the Habs for a past RFA offer.
It’s the fact that RFA offer sheets are incredibly rare because they are met with retaliation that demonstrates that NHL clubs are colluding against RFAs.
Right? Though they’re leaning into this one a bit much now. Their twitter bio is now in French
No NHL player has changed teams as a result of an offer sheet since 2007. Oh, and that one led to the two GMs making plans to meet up in a barn and fight. I shit you not.
When Brian Burke challenged Kevin Lowe to fight in a barn and got threatened by Gary Bettman – The Hockey Beast
Smokey as hell again. I have to walk the dog, and I really don’t wanna! She’s giving me sad eyes. Fuck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtdOpnCBLj8
Canuck Women’s Hockey Update:
Shots on goal are now 45-3. Despite the fact that they’re playing Germany, France has surrendered.
Yeah, but goals scored is what really matters.
/Checks score
Oh. Oh my. France should surrender again.
I haven’t seen Germans get shit on like that since… well, let’s leave my browser history out of this.
Seems fitting given the battle for LA we’re witnessing (even if the video is from Chile)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjLvPbVFV2U
Hartford Athletic gives one up in the 90th. Fuck.
Yeah, that sucked. They had a good start to the season but have not been good of late.
So due to Covid I guess, my niece kind of got us all on a fitness app. All of our distances are logged and whoever does the most in a month wins. And I have managed to piss everyone off.
So first, my sister in law accused me of just driving around slow ( unless I friended her specifically, she couldn’t see my route or my times).
Then the thing was “You are running in the middle of the day, that isn’t fair” and I learned my brother doesn’t know the difference between 4am and 4pm.
I do three hours a day in the morning. 9 miles. My time fucking sucks because my back is still garbage and I am waiting for the VA to fix me again.
On a positive, when I went to get a back mri, they thought my info was wrong as I have lost about 30 lbs and the technician ladies refused to believe I was in my forties.
If I wasn’t terrified of Covid, I could be killing with the ladies as I’m in the best shape since I was in the military.
Congrats! The morning is the best time to exercise, especially in the summer when it’s the only time of day that isn’t deathly hot.
I took my car to get a wash today and in front of me there was a car so dirty that someone wrote a fucking paragraph.
I quote:
“Este coche es manejado por una tóxica muy tóxica. Así que a la verga o les meto unos putazos”
Spanish to Chinese to English translation for you rubes.
The car was driven by a highly toxic poison. So fuck, or I’ll beat them up
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JR6n23_fL3o
Holy shit, someone please give that girl a cheeseburger.
She’s apparently over six feet tall. GANGLY thing.
I like ’em tall and leggy (Mrs. In TX is 5’10”), but that girl is a whole other thing entirely.
I too like em tall, prefer a big bottom though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfhphrmKdsg
I once dated a girl who was my height (6’1″), but she always wore heels. Her name was Sasha.
It was awesome.
“She can eat beans off the top of your head and then fart in your face.”
Climbing that mountain was truly enjoyable.
I would never trust anyone that skinny who worked in a doughnut shop.
Exactly, you want someone who clearly enjoys the merchandise.
Give her two Double Doubles, STAT!
Animal style!
(That’s a thing, right? We don’t really have In n’ Out Burger around here)
YOU DAMN RIGHT THAT’S A THING!
Ita actually my favourite.
Whenever I wind up making it out to California, In n’ Out is absolutely on my list of “gonna go there first”
There’s one here in San Antonio if you ever get over this way… Closer than California, anyway.
My daughter is 6-1/2 and we’ve never taken her to San Antonio.
Might have to remedy that once NuAIDS calms the fuck down.
She definitely needs to make a second and third run through the buffet line.
I like Gardner Minshew to the Eagles. Dumb meaningless NFL side shows are what makes a season like this with only about five contenders go ’round for 17 weeks.
Good news. I found some cash and it turns out you can exchange cash for goods and services, including beer, and now I have less cash but more beer.
“This Horatio cat is onto something.”
-Adam Smith
I’m sure he’s fine.
A little hydrochloroquinine and some light therapy oughta fix that right up.
Don’t forget the bleach chaser and de-wormer for dessert.
Aw, snap.
(Not me saying that…his ACL is)
I’m going to Fedex some dirt to him so that he can start in week 1-like a real man.
Ahhh 3-2 I see my order came in.
Ok, this game is entertaining.
I would like to attend a LAFC game and sit in the supporters end. I have read about those folks and they seem real fun.
2-1!
The fan in the Equality tee seems kinda uppity.
The pic is a little blurry, so they look vaguely like the cast of Reservation Dogs.
Which is turning out to be an awesome show.
How’s your Spanish?
That is why I would bring my personal interpreter from Pasadena.
There ya go!
The Canadian women’s hockey team is currently out-shooting Germany 27-2. The game has a real Man City/Arsenal feel to it.
Who’s winning?
You sir, are a Silly Billy.
/5-0 for the good girls
Not Arsenal