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Taco Bell Tuesday Open Thread

ballsofsteelandfury

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Howdy Folks! The Good Reverend is unavailable today, so I’m filling in.

Regular readers of the AFL Beat will read this and be all, “WTF, mate! You’ve got time to write this but you ditched The Beat last week and you STILL haven’t published it this week??”

To that, I say, “Guilty as charged”.

There are no excuses. All I can say is that I’ll try to get it up tomorrow morning but no promises.

If I had a nickel…

***

Okay, so let’s get the Sprots on TV out of the way:

CONCACAF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE SEMIFINAL

Cruz Azul (aka Blues Cruise) v Pumas UNAM

7:00 PM Pacific, 10:00 PM Puerto Rico (Unimás, TUDN)

NHL

ESPN+

Kings v Blackhawks

Kraken v Flames

Vegas v Vancouver

Devils v Coyotes

ESPN

Tampa v Dallas

BASEBALL

Don’t care. It’s April, FFS!

***

So, let’s chat! What’s new with you?

Uh-huh. Right. Yeah, that sucks. Totally. I get it! Been there myself. Just don’t get any frosting on the sheets. You will NEVER get the stain out.

What’s up with me, you say?

Do you want the Canadian answer, the American answer or the Mexican answer?

Ok, here goes:

Canadian: Good n you?

American: Great!

Mexican: Pues mira. ¿Qué te puedo decir? La chamba está super ocupadísima y hay tanto idiota que mejor no te cuento. La Señorita se me fue de vacaciones y aquí estoy agarrándonme los huevos cómo un ímbecil. ¡Anoche me levanté a ir al baño y cuando acabé, ya era hora de levantarme! Ya no puedo tomar café porque más me vale que esté cerca de un baño o si no, ni te cuento. Este fin de semana, vi el juego del Barça y va bien pero no van a ganar La Liga. El Toluca va a calificar a la Liguilla pero no va hacer nada ya que entre. ¡Kyle Busch no está ganando ni en las trocas! El Geelong va bien pero están viejitos y la temporada es muy larga. Y atropellaron a un QB de los Steelers en la Florida como si fuera ardilla. ¡Fíjate!

¡Pero fuera de eso, ninguna novedad, todo bien!

***

How’s your mimsy this fine evening? Please share all your mimsy care tips in the comments.

Also, please share your favourite Taco Bell Tuesday menu items. I myself prefer the Power Bowl with chicken and a Large Baja Blast Zero

YUM

That’s the good stuff!

Yours in the comments.

One more thing:

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BugEyedBoo

High school Taco Bell for me was a combo burrito and refried beans. IIRC, that and a coke was $3. Livin’ large!

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Gumbygirl

Burrito Supremo. Followed by Regreto Supremo.

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BugEyedBoo

Nah, the combo burrito is the Platonic ideal of a burrito. Meatlike substance, refried beans, cheese, Taco sauce and onions. Keep your vegetables and sour cream.

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2Pack

A gordita Supreme… but not before bedtime… or a run… public appearance… close social interactions… chick watching at the mall… i. e. most human activities…

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SonOfSpam

The CONCHCOALCALF game on FS1 is pretty fun; Pumas are hanging on, but are down a man and a Blue Cross goal would be enough.

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SonOfSpam

And Pumas advance to KHANCOCKHALF shempions league final.

There was much rejoicing.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tonight’s cocktail: Bloodhound (prototype)

Muddle 1/4 blood orange and 1/4 Valencia orange in glass. Remove rinds but save juice. Add 2 oz. bourbon (Wild Turkey 101). Add 1 tsp sweet tea syrup* and a fancy large ice cube. Garnish with a slice of orange peel wrapped around a maraschino cherry speared on a cocktail pick (see image).

*Boil 1/2 cup of water. Add teabag, allow to steep until fully cooled. Mix with 1/6 cup brown sugar, reheat to dissolve. Refrigerate in a cool little flask you saved from some vinegar you bought in Paso Robles.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This was very much a success. I’m really thrilled given the troubles I had with this the other night.

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SonOfSpam

Pls fax one to me, you have the #

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King Hippo

Does this mean you and the Dr. Mrs. will be doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel?

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SonOfSpam

Ah yes, their one clean song.

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rockingdog

Last funny;

Hollywood Squares was wild
Gilbert Gottfried was a Legend

https://mobile.twitter.com/mannyfidel/status/1513966261469863939

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Gumbygirl

He was awesome.

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Doktor Zymm

Windows are finally in! Going back to Chicago next weekend to get some serious work done now that the windows are installed.

1
WCS

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King Hippo

ooooh. do one with Bubbles (PHRASING)

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WCS

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SonOfSpam

I heard he was dead.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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WCS

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Las ventanas!

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SonOfSpam

Wait til you see Windows 98 – gonna be lit AF

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herodotus450

I didn’t think they could do better than Windows 98 but then BAM, 1900 and 2 more windows get thrown in there.

1
rockingdog

Definitely gonna try to watch the
Man city vs AthLet Madrid game tomorrow
Cause RMadrid gets to work play either one of them next.

Hopefully it’s Rocking!!!

2
herodotus450

Hockey talkin guys: Detroit not afraid to pull their goalie early.
5 minutes later
Hockey talkin guys: Detroit sure has given up a lot of empty net goals this year.
Hmmmm

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scotchnaut

Little Known Secret:

If a supporter of a team can’t his eyes open any longer and he goes to bed, the score at the time of his snooziness stands.

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WCS

Then why the hell didn’t you do that in Super Bowls against the Seahawks and Falcons?!

Last edited 4 years ago by WCS
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scotchnaut

The Red Wings are having as much trouble breaking out of their zone as the original Cosmonauts had breaking out of the ozone!

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rockingdog

Found a funny;

“there’s no word that contains all the vowels in order”, I said facetiously

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Doktor Zymm

Even y! Impressive!

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NotShogunButShogun

Sometimes

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rockingdog

Dude
Finally watched the highlights…
That Chelsea vs RMadrid match was Rockingggg 💯

That Modric pass @ 79th min for a goal was LEGIT. Totally flipped the feeling of the game.
Also Benzima with a dagger of a header @ 95min for a goal was 😮
That dude is killin it.

Last edited 4 years ago by rockingdog
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WCS

You could one of these things:
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BugEyedBoo

I hate it when my pineal gland does that!

1
scotchnaut

Sens currently destroying the Wings desire to live 2-1. It’s not pretty. Wings fans in the stands are cutting their wrists. Probably has nothing to do with the game.

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herodotus450

Three signs that the Senators are stuck in the Nineties:
They have a Tkahcuk on their team.
They have a Forsberg on their team.
Their Unadjusted Team Gross Revenue.

2
scotchnaut

Net Positive Stat: The Red Wings are closing the gap on “Shots On Goal”.

Net Negative Stat: The “Shots On Goal” stat refers to shots on their own goal.

2
King Hippo

I would like MOAR Full Heel Turns in ice footy, where the keeper gets pissed off and slap shots into his own net.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I got most of that Spanish rant but don’t really want to know what happened between vacation lady and your nuts.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

(I got “like an idiot”, heard that one before)

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Gumbygirl

I think we all got that part!

2
Don T

Un poco de soledad y los percances usuales de ponerse viejo. Comoquiera se goza. La mente sucia no madura.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

No one has accused anyone around here of having either a clean or a mature mind.

3
litre_cola

So do I do Sunday with Litre in fucked up Quebecois?

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ballsofsteelandfury

You absolutely should.

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Merde ya

2
Gumbygirl

I thought he said he was going on vacation with a lady, but he couldn’t get out of the bathroom?

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Fronkenshteen

I love that a bunch of fat, cigarette smoking drunks are positive they can conquer the American people by the force of their hatred and ignorance because they drive pickup trucks and have long beards. We will rise up and destroy like the Viet Cong. Can’t fucking wait. Come at us, Jethro!

4
herodotus450

Changing the channel on this game with 5 seconds left in the period, surely won’t miss anything back breaking in that time.

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scotchnaut

“You and me both, baby-high five! Oh shit….”

-Ryan Shazier

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litre_cola

So much Sud Americano futbol tonight!

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scotchnaut

“How are the Detroitio Net Alas doing?”

-a very desperate/pathetic/reaching Herodotus

1
herodotus450

“Drake Batherson” sounds like the rich prep school villain from a Roald Dahl novel.

1
scotchnaut

Apparently Greiss is not the word in Germany.

https://www.hockeyfeed.com/nhl-news/team-germany-officially-cuts-ties-with-thomas-greiss-over-his-political-beliefs

Last edited 4 years ago by scotchnaut
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herodotus450

Pretty Eye-ronic that the German government is punishing a guy for his political beliefs.
/also very convenient that he’s probably only the fourth best German goalie these days, and so wouldn’t have made the team anyway.

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scotchnaut

The mind boggles-thinking of what his punishment would be if he was the 3rd-best goalie.

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WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, I’m gonna go out on a limb and saying that the ‘SS’ design on his mask was not, in fact, a coincidence.

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herodotus450

That would make his comments comparing Hillary to Hitler quite amusing.

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Gumbygirl

Nazi punk, fuck off!

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herodotus450

Once a sprots franchise is mathematically eliminated from playoff contention, they should forfeit their remaining revenue share for the rest of these season, to incentivize winning. And the rich will get richer!

1
Gumbygirl

I get headlines from the Pittsburgh Post Gazette, but I don’t click on anything because fuck their paywall. Today there was one that said their payroll is paid solely from ticket sales and concessions, and they pocket all of the tv money. That’s why they are permanently mathematically eliminated from playoff contention by the end of May or so. Not even trying to get better.

1
Gumbygirl

The Pirates, I mean. Probably should have clarified who I was ranting about.

1
litre_cola

So that “Dem” Manchin is here today with our fuckwit of a provincial leader. You guys can take both of them back. He is a more incompetent Ted Cruz. You could have the whole set!

0
WCS

I have personally seen a veeeerrryyyy inebriated Joe Manchin dancing shirtless on a table while wearing a pink clown wig. This was in 2003 or so, just after he secured the WV’s governor race. If only cell phone cameras existed then…

3
Gumbygirl

Was he also wearing whatever the hell Jake had on in his teakettle selfie?

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herodotus450

NAWT FAYUH that the Senatours have a guy named Norris on the roster, the pea-brained voters will probably give him a Norris Trophy or two before the decade is out.

2
WCS

Flyers goalie Carter Hart has faced allowed three goals on six shots faced.

That doesn’t seem like a successful formula.

2
WCS

Thoughts and prayers for your septic system.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

By coincidence today I got some junk mail offering to sell me septic system insurance.

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BugEyedBoo

We had to pay $16K a few years ago to have a scale model of Serpent Mound built in our yard, to replace the older leach bed that failed. Septic system insurance sounds like a scam, though. Unless you like arguing on the phone with some guy who’s paid to deny claims.

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scotchnaut

It’s A Scotchy/Herodotus Darby-I’ve always felt that when Ottawa is the home team they have a distinct advantage because the Wings are flying into a city that isn’t littered with corpses and that is really jarring. Must throw them off a bit.

3
herodotus450

All the Daniel Alfredsson jerseys must have confused you, because the game is actually in Detroit today.

1
scotchnaut

I knew that. I just desperately needed to make that joke.

3
herodotus450

It’s been almost two games since the Wings gave up a hat trick (to the blue jackets I think), so you better get ready for a tough defensive battle.

0
scotchnaut

Zerosberg gonna win this battle of the goalies. It’s right there in the name.

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Redshirt

…and so being the Cincinnati Opening Day Exodus.

Rot in Hell, Redlegs!

Last edited 4 years ago by Redshirt
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Redshirt

This may be worse than the January Insurrection/Peaceful Capital Tour.

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ballsofsteelandfury

She looks familiar. Let me see if I can place her. Give me a minute…

Got it!

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Redshirt

4/10: Talks in her sleep.

2
Horatio Cornblower

1/10, will also bang your Dad.

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scotchnaut

I recently watched “Biden and AOC Dance On The Grave Of Your Freedom”, directed by Roger Stone. The scene where they did the Samba on the skulls of late-term aborted baby children girls with names like FreeDom, Bunndy and Hero-McVeigh made me sick to my belly!

0
Redshirt

Why would you watch it?! I’m closer to him politically and I would watch that if you paid me!

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Gumbygirl

It’s FreeDumb, smgdh!

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WCS

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BaldingSpiritually

There’s gonna be North Korea-style funerals in red states when Trump dies

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Redshirt

Can you guys/gals/variations-thereupon bail me out for pissing on his grave?

1
ballsofsteelandfury

You were in California the whole time.

3
WCS

I’ll drive you to and fro.

2
scotchnaut

Perhaps more like this?

In the “scuffles” that followed, the body almost fell out of the coffin. Several people were crushed to death

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2k7mpnPJWDo&ab_channel=hijazna

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Horatio Cornblower

Gonna be a hell of a party at my house.

You’re all invited to Rikki’s.

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WCS

Sean Spicer saying more people showed up than to see Lincoln’ train.

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