Author: Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Request Line: Outright Thievery

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly -
73

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY A pair of radio professionals are standing outside the recording booth sipping coffee. CONNOR, THE INTERN: …but seriously, if there's anything here you actually care about, get it out of sight. PRODUCER: [picks up a gold-plated miniature Peabody Award replica and opens a desk drawer] CONNOR: …mmm, probably better if you

DFO Insider: Problems With The Third Act

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly -
17

INT.  DFO PRODUCTION OFFICE – DAY A pair of sleazy Hollywood producers are pacing back and forth in front of a huge mahogany desk.  They both exude nervous excitement, with one of them - DARKEST TIMELINE ZACH MORRIS - repeatedly checking the time on his Apple Watch.  The other - RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY

DFO Radio: Normal at Heart

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly -
37

Happy Valentine's Day!  My wife insists that this holiday is a ploy by BIG LOVE to make unattached people feel shitty.  I disagree, I think it's a naked cash grab (jots down note for a movie script about a bank robber who pulls his jobs in the nude).  Either way,

Request Line: Normal at Heart

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly -
87

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – EVENING Open on an empty studio.  The door opens and GARY KUBIAK and a PRODUCER step through, chatting happily.  GARY KUBIAK takes a seat at the booth. PRODUCER: ...and I'll be in here with you for the interview segment, and then I'll head out to the other side of

DFO Radio: Exit Music (For a Season)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly -
18

This week's special edition of Request Line was intended to deliver some much-needed catharsis to those of us who witnessed the most inexplicable choke job in the history of the Super Bowl, and for myself I'm happy to say that it really did help.  I haven't felt much of an

Better Know a Mythical Woodland Creature: Romonculus

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly -
21

As we delve deeper and deeper into the postseason, we're also going to be delving deeper and deeper into DFO's mythological pantheon.  This week, we'll be taking a look at one of the most ephemeral creatures to make occasional appearances on the gridiron, the Romonculus.   Species Name: Romo Sapiens Individual Names: Leon Lettucewin,

Your “WAKE UP, IT’S TIME FOR FOOTBALL!” AFC Championship Game Open Thread

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly -
547

  GENERAL: Mr. President, Agent Scotchnaut is pinned down in Bucharest and can’t post the Open Thread this afternoon! PRESIDENT RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [pulls up pants] I’ll handle...wait.  This seems familiar. GENERAL: He's getting 418'd!  THERE'S NO TIME! PRESIDENT RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Fine, fine, sheesh.  You know, when my Russian handlers coerced me I signed up for this job of my own

A Team Without a Franchise Quarterback is Like a Patriots Team Without a Gritty, Scrappy, Lunchpail Type Guy Playing Slot Receiver

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly -
20

Editor's Note: This song, with minor tweaks, was composed by reddit user A_Participant, and I was so moved that I decided to package it along with some images.  Enjoy!  BILL BELICHICK The name's Belichick, Bill Belichick, and I come before you general managers tonight with a trade proposal.  Probably the greatest [turns