Instant Hippo Thoughts – Divisional Sunday!

King Hippo - January 16, 2017January 15, 2017

Yes, folks, it's the very last one of these we have left as a free republic. Four MORE days until we'uns a client state of the Kremlin, thanks to racists and dipshits and woman/gay haters, etc. Hey, at least we had two close games yesterday, and one of 'em was

Returning From A Frightful Lesser and Greater Footy Weekend

King Hippo - January 14, 2017January 13, 2017

145

Let's DO BETTER, shall we? Things kick off bright and early Saturday (7:30, NBCSN), with 3rd position Spurs hosting surprisingly pesky West Brom. The Albion (least imposing mascot EVAR ,, amirite??) sit in 8th, only 1 point behind Everton. Hopefully, the unbeaten form at White Hart Lane continues, because

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Wild Card Edition

Reflections

King Hippo - January 9, 2017January 8, 2017

I saw no need FOAR a special Sunday morning edition, and hoped that Day Two would bring a marked improvement. Shit in one hand, hope in the other, and see which gets full first. Yinzburgh beat the absolute tar shit out of Miami, to nobody's surprise. Antonio Brown and Le'Veon Bell

FA Cup Starts in Earnest, No Everton/Foxy Footy TV??

King Hippo - January 7, 2017January 6, 2017

204

Way to go, 2017. As of this writing, Fox Sports Go is all borken (won't let me log in under my cable login or brother-in-law's Dish Network one), so I can't even check for a random secondary feed. I will likely be stuck listening to the terrible radio

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 17, 2016 Season (and Lesser Footy Preview of Sorts)

King Hippo - January 2, 2017January 1, 2017

2016, the year of many unspeakable things, is dead. And with it NFL regulation time. As one can see, the conferences have neatly cleaved into intriguing/watchable (NFC) and abhorrent dumpster fire (AFC). Let's get the bad shit out of the way first. The P*ts unsurprisingly whipped the "give

Lesser Footy – A Raging Semi FOAR NYE!!

King Hippo - December 31, 2016

891

There are a smattering of Premiership games this morning, with Manure hosting 15th position Middlesbrough (10:00, NBCSN) getting feature treatment. Leicester/West Ham and Chelsea/Stoke are probably better options in the morning window, though. Consult your Extra Time listings. But the big action (Euro-speaking) today is at Anfield, where the

Lazy Wednesday JV NFL Open Thread

King Hippo - December 28, 2016

Embrace the nothingness with these fine fixtures: Pinstripe Bowl - Pitt vs. Northwestern (2:00, ESPN) The Mildcats are going to honor alum Craig Sager with a helmet patch instead of a FOR REALS colour rush, which is beyond disappoint. Pitt will run a lot, and score and allow many scores, if

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Boxing Day Edition (with Lesser Footy Previews)

King Hippo - December 26, 2016December 25, 2016

Holy crap, NFL Network's decision to turn a mild Christmas Sunday afternoon into Thursday Night magically transformed its usual fetid product, on a scale not unlike the virgin birth. After a lackluster first half that saw the Ratbirds dominate the balance of play (after Yinzburgh's opening drive) but trail

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Shitsmas 2016 Edition

Reflections

King Hippo - December 25, 2016December 24, 2016

Holy fuck, that was an intense Christmas Eve afternoon, eh? Makes me kinda wish cigarettes did anything for me, so I could have one and come down a little bit. A big Hippo Thanks! to Sam Bradford and Adam Thielen for patiently waiting their turns on my fantasy playoffs (locked)

Shitsmas Eve Morning Fantasy PANIC! Open Thread

King Hippo - December 24, 2016December 24, 2016

Alas, there is no Lesser Footy to pass the nigh three hours until Greater Footy makes Saturday feel like a Sunday. I hope you brought a book, opened a gift early, and/or are Jewish. I was exceedingly worried about SD both sitting on a lead AND ball security in wet/windy

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 15, 2016

Reflections

King Hippo - December 19, 2016December 18, 2016

Forgive me if I am curt with my analysis, my head hurts like it's on fire, and the WORST of the barometric pressure changes comes tomorrow. So...there's a good chance I will be dead by my own hand then. There will be no discussion of the Donks loss. It

Mailing One In FOAR Terrible Bowl Season’s Kickoff

King Hippo - December 17, 2016December 16, 2016

116

Does your College Bowl "Confidence Pool" count the "Heritage Bowl" between Grambling and NC Central? Mine fucking does. Raise your fists proudly and pretend like you had a fucking clue before you googled and googled until you found a sportsbook with odds on this sumbitch. But first, we have