Author: The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

CrimeBeat!: “In five years the Spanos family will be completely legitimate” Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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Whelp, that's what comes of trying to be prepared. I figured since I was supposed to have trial this week I would pre-prep some of my weekly crap on Saturday and just keep it under the warming lamps until Tuesday. I got the idea from Golden Corral. So I had

CrimeBeat!: Take the Cannoli Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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Well boys and girls, we made it. Training camps are all now officially "going on". Peter King is probably on some back road in Iowa between Mankato and Missouri Western State University, glorying in the soybean fields and meth shacks that he considers "Real America" and (God willing) getting crippling

CrimeBeat!: Isn’t This Where We Came In? Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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Jeebus Cripes. As Albert Einstein (probably never) said, "When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it's longer than any hour. That's relativity." And somehow the last year feels like

CrimeBeat!: Better Never Than Late Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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So yeah. In God's ongoing quest to drive me insane using ten thousand tiny frustrations, last week's best Crime News I Could Use came out an hour or so after I posted a disjointed bitchfest about how nothing good (for purposes of this column) had happened over the traditionally Target

[DFO] Theogyny: The Feast of the Suspension

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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[1] Lo, and once every summer, Venus and Jupiter and Rigel III shall come into alignment, [2] an obscure and ancient bell shall toll within in NFL Headquarters, and the Watcher of The Seals [3] shall be shuffleth out of his office with an antiquated boombox bigger than he. [D]

CrimeBeat!: “We Voted To Do What Now?” Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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Men. MEN! In what I can only assume was a brilliant ploy to eliminate opponents of Real Football In London, Roger Goodell has successfully orchestrated the shadow campaign to make the United Kingdom of Great Britain, Northern Ireland and That Island Filled With Sheep in the South Atlantic to exit