Your “Birds of a Feather Something, Something, Blather” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - September 15, 2019September 15, 2019

235

I could feel something constricting around my neck, tighter and tighter. I opened my eyes and less than a foot away from me was a haggard old soul, hair matted, his remaining teeth a sickly yellow color, his eyes as black as a starless night. I was on my back

Your “Let’s Keep It Moving, Folks” Later Sunday Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - September 15, 2019September 15, 2019

154

Only three games to preview in this window but dare I say that we don't have a dumb throwaway game in the troika? Can the Raiders actually be 'real'? If they are they'd be putting some new blood into an ages-old rivalry. The Saints/Rams will have a number of non-fans

Your “Let’s Get This Party Started!” Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - September 15, 2019

454

Let's get right at it... TO THE GAMES! Pats/Fins: Guh. Nice start. The spread in this game is 19, which is about 19 more points than my level of interest. Btw, Brady's record in Miami is 7-10. Cards/Ravens: What's better than young love? Only a battle between young, dynamic qb's, that's what. That reckless

Your “No Stereo, Just Mono” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - September 12, 2019September 12, 2019

573

Well, well, well. After complaining about 'squirrels running circles inside my helmet' and 'constant rain falling off my body', Jets team physicians diagnosed Unfrozen Caveman QB Sam Darnold with mononucleosis. Asked by reporters how he contracted it, he replied, "It was a girl from The Clan of The Cave Bear.

Your “I Knew You’d Come Crawling Back” Monday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - September 9, 2019September 9, 2019

630

Were you not entertained yesterday? I certainly was. We had safeties, plenty of derpage, surprises, comebacks, new stars (if only for one week) and the usual disappointments. All in all, a great bag of tricks. I'll throw a few cogitations at you. Think of it as an addendum to the

Your “Calling All Pats Haters. Assemble!” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - September 8, 2019September 8, 2019

538

It shouldn't be this way. We should be happy. The Browns look like a very watchable, exciting team this year. The Cardinals are conducting an experiment with a dynamic rookie that may take the league's obsession with the passing game to new heights. Equally interesting is what the Ravens have

Your “You Go Back, Jack, Do It Again” Sunday Afternoon Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - September 8, 2019September 8, 2019

414

Well, that was lovely! Would you care for more? TO THE GAMES! Colts/Chargers: No pressure, Jacoby. Perhaps it was because he was brought up in the Pats system but Brissett is a very conservative player that rarely throws downfield despite a good arm. Still, the Chargers are ripe for an upset here

Your “I Think The Banner Pic Pretty Much Covers It” Holiest of Holy Open Threads

scotchnaut - September 8, 2019

736

Now that the Thursday Nighter has been wiped from our collective memories by all the weed, booze and pills that it is possible to ingest, let's see if today's slate can make a mark. TO THE GAMES! Rams/Panthers: As Cammer's shoulder goes, so goes Carolina and it seems fine. The Panthers are

Your “Welcome To Game 1! Only 266 More To Go” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - September 5, 2019

1109

Jesus Bananacakes! I don't even know where to begin. I guess I should welcome all you folks back from your non-self-imposed hiatus from the football. It's nice to see you and my, that 'no pants' look really suits you. That chip dip stain on your wife beater should come out

Your “Just One More” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - August 25, 2019August 25, 2019

164

Speaking of the football, Man City dispatched Bournemouth earlier today. I've adopted the former team simply because I fell in love with Kevin De Bruyne (better known on this site as Kevin The Broom) while watching the Belgique national team play last summer. As a fan of the Giants and

Your “No Injuries. No Injuries. No Injuries” Saturday Night Open Thread

scotchnaut - August 24, 2019August 24, 2019

439

There's a Sirius XM station that is completely dedicated to fantasy but there are no women on it (that I have heard). So you know what that means-men screeching at the top of their lungs about how much they love those big and fast Men In Pads. I'll do my

Your “Come One, Come All! (Not You, Starters)” Thursday Night Preseason Open Thread

scotchnaut - August 22, 2019August 22, 2019

236

This is usually the time when some sort of 'dress rehearsal' for the regular season takes place with all the stars muddying their unis for the first time. But lo! Some teams have re-thunk this thinking and many of the precious ones will not "have at it", which kinda makes