Nice Jerb, Minnows! Lesser Footy Saturday

King Hippo - March 4, 2023March 3, 2023

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Before we get to the weekend in the Prem, let's acknowledge the upstarts making noise in the FA Cup. Here is how the Flacco Eight break down: Two bullies (Men United; City of Men) Two Prem surprise packages (Trashbirds; Mighty Whitey) THREE Championship sides (Team Knifey; Boo-urnley; Blackburn) One miracle

God Bless Don Carlo – Saturday Footy Musings

King Hippo - February 25, 2023February 24, 2023

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There is a very light schedule this week (no early fixture at all), so let's also look back at mid-week in Shempions. Oh my cats, y'all. The pure JOY of the Redshite melting down, in the home leg of the tie. Up 2-nil after 15 minutes of play, only to lose

Oh, We Got A Title Race Goin’

King Hippo - February 18, 2023February 18, 2023

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Did you remember to blow off work to watch City away to Arsenal mid-week? An absolute cracker of a match. King's Afrikan Water Pistols outplayed the reigning champs for about 70' - but were level at 1. And those last 20' were a dagger to the heart. City now are ahead on

Aaaaa [harp notes] The Shempiens… Round of 16, Gameday 2

Don T - February 15, 2023February 15, 2023

Hello, individual in the middle of a workday, welcome to Day 2 of the Final 16 of the Shempiens Lïg. Teams play a two-legged series, ida and vuelta en español, which sounds like a holiday. Or, going and coming in English, which would be a very very efficient booty call. YOU: Ah

A Valentine for the Shempiens – Round of 16, Gameday 1

Don T - February 14, 2023February 14, 2023

After an intense Hate Week and the sudden end of the NFL season, here’s Valentine’s Day: the most superficial and fabricated holiday there is. First, it’s a workday. Second, it’s all about merchandising and half-assing affection. Hearing “What are WE going to do for Valentine’s Day” sounds more like a

Preb Owl – We’ve Only Just Begun…

King Hippo - February 12, 2023February 12, 2023

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It seems the Carpentering shall fall to Hippo. Leeds and Man U (the football squadron, not the uni-themed "twink and bear" porn series) are currently nil-nil on USA. Angry Pep will put on his live action snuff film next (11:30, also USA). I hear tell there are puppy and kitty Owls,

Total Recall – Revisiting Footy at the Half-ish-way Point

King Hippo - February 4, 2023February 3, 2023

Hippo is still too angry to see straight. But good news (if not an Evertonian) - footy is back this weekend. Bad news? The fixture slate sucks hobo asshole. At least until tomorrow's Spotlight Dance (Spurs v. City, 11:30, NBC). So, let us look back upon what has happened to date,

Post Self-Justification Lesser Footy Thread

King Hippo - January 14, 2023January 13, 2023

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Every January, to my great discomfort, I am summoned to justify my continued existence within the law firm. It's like somebody decided, "hey, we don't think Hippo focuses enough on his self-hatred and feelings of personal and professional failure - let's stare at him and make him do a little

FA Cup Saturday! Open(ish) Thread

King Hippo - January 7, 2023January 6, 2023

Life without FITBAW is just terrible, that's why Damar Hamlin asked about the score before his goddamned breathing tube came out. But we get Chefs/Raiders and Tits/Jaguras tonight, so nap accordingly. In the interim, here are the fixtures I find randomly interesting: Gillingham v. Leicester City (7:30, ESPN+) Upset TOTES predicted here. Formerly Foxy

NYE 2022 Sportsball Early Thread

King Hippo - December 31, 2022December 30, 2022

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Do we gots some Lesser Footy and JV NFL? By gum we sure does! Very Disappointing Everton desperately need United to open a can of whoopass on Wolves (7:30, USA), so it won't happen. But they are a fun watch (I will reluctantly admit), now that they've cast Ronaldo off the island.

Instant Hippo Boxing Day Thoughts – Week 16, 2022 Season/EPL Resumes

King Hippo - December 26, 2022December 25, 2022

Holy cats, this sportsball 3-day weekend is fucking beautiful, ain't it? I watched all of yesterday's NFL trifecta, despite...not really liking any outcomes. Because my fantasy team may be leaving oil like a motherfucker...but 2nd place pays out pretty good. Maybe I would use the funds to make it to DFOcon

Your 2026 World Cup Immodest Proposal

ballsofsteelandfury - December 17, 2022December 11, 2022

In his 2022 World Cup Quarterfinal Open Thread, the esteemed Mr. King Hippo, Esq. came up with a pretty good idea for how to handle the addition of 16 teams for the next World Cup to be hosted in Canadia, México, and the United States in 2026. When you have