We have a semi! Your England vs Netherlands Euro 2024 open thread

Wakezilla - July 10, 2024July 10, 2024

Today's semi-finals feature the Dutch Ovens against the Tea and Crumpets, a matchup so significant that even the racists of each country temporarily set aside their issues with having non-white players on their squad. This will be the fourth meeting between England and the Netherlands at a major tournament. The Oranje

Saturation Saturday (Early Edition)

Don T - July 6, 2024July 6, 2024

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Muy buenos días, ladies and degenerates, minors without parental supervision, sociopaths all. I will be subbing this AM because King Hippo picked this weekend to cram all the continuing Donks re-education courses, per Sean Payton’s overhaul of the franchise into a constitutional theocracy. Hippo showed me some Powerpoint slides, and

Micro-Thoughts on Euros Stuff

King Hippo - June 29, 2024June 29, 2024

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I don't fucking feel like in-depth writing (fuck off, world and everything in it), so here is a list of weekend European Euros matchups and a half-assed thought on each: Don T: But first hi, HI. The King opened the floor to write about the European Euros and with me being

Euros Euros Everywhere Saturday

King Hippo - June 22, 2024June 21, 2024

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Are y'all enjoying the concurrence of TWO Euros in the same June/July? Hippo sure enough is, even if (as usual) the teams I would like to do well are mostly...uh, not. But Spain looks really good and fun, plus my prediction of the Krauts faceplanting....YEESH. They showed up as the hyper-efficient

“Gurg on this!”: Georgia at the Euros – A Tuesday Morning Euros Open Thread

Beerguyrob - June 18, 2024June 15, 2024

Georgia, home of Wisdom, Justice, and Moderation. Oh… err… umm…I mean “Georgia - where ‘Strength is in Unity’.” Needs more Pips. Hi everyone, it's me again. I thought I'd do the preview/Open Thread combo once more. I'm not here as frequently due to work, so I should help out where I can. SO, WHAT ARE

“Koka për Kokë”: Albania at the Euros & Third Match Open Thread

Beerguyrob - June 15, 2024June 15, 2024

Good morning, everyone. It's your old pal Beerguy here, dropping in for a little bit to help out with some preview coverage in advance of the first second third Open Thread of the 2024 Euros. In previous years when I've written about the Euros I've covered countries like Russia (failed to

Partially Covered European Euros Thread

King Hippo - June 15, 2024June 14, 2024

As y'all know, Hippo procarstinates. So, I waited until I turned the TV on for Krauts v. Kilts, before checking channel listings for today's thread. All I had read to date was that Fox was covering both summer Euros, so I assumed Fox or FS1. Fine. The panel coverage would

Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: Romania Euro ’24 Edition

Senor Weaselo - June 12, 2024June 12, 2024

Reminders of stuff from 2020: Country: RomaniaFooty team colloquials: Tricolorii (The Tricolors)DFO (probable) colloquials: Draculs, Impalers, please not the Ceausescus because fuck that guy, and the Securitate, and Gheorgiu-Dej.Kits: Home and awayFIFA Ranking: 46 (23rd in UEFA)Best World Cup result: Quarterfinals (1994) (including a win in the Round of 16 over

Elaborate Ways of Getting Kicked In The Dick – England at the 2024 Euros (A Tuesday Night Open Thread)

The Maestro - June 11, 2024June 11, 2024

I am ready to get hurt again. I mean it. There's nothing this team can do to me anymore to make me feel pain. I have seen absolutely everything go wrong for England's national football team in increasingly more aggravating, painful, and confounding ways over these last several decades. I have no

Lesser Footy Merde Platter

King Hippo - June 1, 2024June 1, 2024

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Because that's what my mind is full of, and not just because the poop-loving Germans have sent a representative to the Shempions Final. It's not Bear Team, no! It's the spunky island of misfit toys, the Yellow Wall of Borussia Dortmund (spoiler alert - more Bo content to follow!). Sadly, they