NFL Heroes

BrettFavresColonoscopy - February 9, 2016June 30, 2017

As we all know, getting old sucks. You have to pay bills, everything randomly hurts, it takes longer both to get drunk and to recover from the previous night's (or weekend's) drunkenness, and you no longer have that wonderful naiveté that comes with youth. That sense of bright eyed wonder

NFL Fan Drunkenness News OR How Do We Stop Worrying and Get Sponsored By a Breathalyzer?

NFL News

BrettFavresColonoscopy - November 5, 2015February 18, 2016

Apparently BACtrack (sidenote: AWESOME name for a company) has been collecting blood alcohol content data on NFL gamedays and analyzing which fans are drunkest. Since I presume very few of you own their breathalyzer smartphone integration tools, I think they overlooked our skewed drinking numbers and settled on...the fucking Bills?

Bears Bye Week Update: In the Deep Deep Woods

Bye Week Updates

BrettFavresColonoscopy - October 22, 2015October 22, 2015

Hey, gang, lots has changed since the experts here at Ye Olde Flying Doore made a bunch of predictions about our favorite teams before the season started. One head coach has already been fired, Cuntler has gone missing, and RGIII is doing worse than Jared. But as my favorite team

Fans in the Woods: 2015 Chicago Bears Preview

A perfect encapsulation of how this franchise fucks itself

Team Previews

BrettFavresColonoscopy - August 10, 2015August 9, 2015

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2015 DFO Chicago Bears Preview A Conversation Between Cuntler and BrettFavresColonoscopy, moderated by Jeff Joniak Jeff Joniak: Hey there, sports fans, welcome to the first ever Chicago Bears preview on Door Flies Open! I’m Jeff Joniak, voice of the Chicago Bears while you’re tailgating or at home and need to listen to