Nine Voice Mails & A Text: A Fathers’ Day Special Offseason Etc. Etc.

Don T - June 18, 2023June 18, 2023

10:01 PM Happy Fathers’ Day, Roberto. It’s your father. I hope you and your… Wife, I guess, had a great day today with your baby boy. Having children is a blessing. Take care. 10:37 PM Hi ‘Berto. Your sister just texted to wish me a Happy Fathers’ Day. Just the three words. She’s

Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: Pray for Maestro

Senor Weaselo - June 7, 2023June 7, 2023

If you don't live on the East Coast, Hank Scorpio hasn't started slowly and methodically vaporizing you yet. Imagine playing sports in this? Oh, wait, we have that. Image via The Sporting News. But for real, if you haven't heard, Ontario and Quebec are currently suffering from wildfires, and it's so widespread

Some Care for Caretakers: Offseason Sunday Open Thread

Open Threads

Don T - April 30, 2023April 30, 2023

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Back in 2012, when hotmail was a thing and Jeeves panhandled for questions, Chuck Pagano got his first head coaching job, with the Colts. Pagano hired Bruce Arians as Offensive Coordinator after the Steelers kicked Arians out and threw a gold watch towards the sidewalk. In Week 6 of the

Chatbot Therapy: Offseason Sunday Open Thread

Don T - April 16, 2023April 16, 2023

Just between you, me and my tinnitus, [checks around nervously to see if anyone is eavesdropping] Life hasn’t been quite excellent the last coupla weeks. Don’t mean to get all downer and stuff, but sometimes you have to deal with more crap than usual and doing nothing will make things worse. The

Give The Governor a Harrumph – Mel Brooks Open Thread

Don T - March 5, 2023May 3, 2023

I must have been five years old when my father took our family to see “Silent Movie” in the theatRe. I got into it immediately. Everything was self-explanatory, one gag after the other, very little dialogue: great for a kid with basic reading skills and knowing almost no English. Then

Your “It Takes Two to Tango (At Least Without TNF)” Thursday Night Open Thread

DFOing Good

BrettFavresColonoscopy - January 19, 2023January 19, 2023

Happy Thursday! The NFL season is over. Not for the 8 teams left but for the 24 teams at home with their families (does not apply to certain TB Bucs). And Thursday night football won't rejoin our lives for like 33 weeks. Which means we don't have Scotchy to kick

Slave LaboUrs Recap and Knockouts Day 1 Mundial Open Thread

DFOing Good

Don T - December 3, 2022December 3, 2022

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Hola, beautiful gente. Your regularly scheduled pachyderm is doing kingly stuff so excuse me while I hijack this spot to talk about an infuriating, kooky, and pretty freakin' absorbing Mundial. But first, our respects and a word for the dead. Category obe, countries that only scored one goal: https://media.giphy.com/media/F21kBMSPSrdZDLBIbD/giphy.gif Yeah, the "respects part"

Chalk or Destiny: Argentina Slave LaboUr Cup Preview

DFOing Good

Don T - November 22, 2022November 22, 2022

"Oops, almost stepped on the country with the best fans, with the best insults, the best foods, with the best fútbol player and the best sights. In sum, the best country" reads the banner meme, a tight distillation of the world-famous Argentinian humility. As to Messi and food, yeah, it's accurate.

On the Offensive – Uruguay Slave World Cup Preview

DFOing Good

Don T - November 9, 2022November 9, 2022

Greetings, cretins. Line up your toothiest, bity-est takes for the farewell performance of Luis Suárez’s career. More accomplished nags than I will also expound on Suárez’s presumptive dirty play and diving, which would sully further the already unredeemable festival of greed and homophobia that is the Cutter World Cup. It

Your “Random Thoughts with BFC, Volume 3” Monday Night Open Thread

BrettFavresColonoscopy - July 18, 2022July 18, 2022

Remember that old SNL sketch “Fecal Matter with your Host, Doug Fecal”? No? Yeah I figured it was just me. It was a solid (heh) talk show format with a specialized host and topic. Well, we ain’t exactly doing Pod Flies Open around here, but what about in written form,

New Places – Monday Open Thread

Open Threads

Don T - June 20, 2022June 20, 2022

Yesterday was Juneteenth, the anniversary of Union Army General Gordon Granger going to Galveston, Texas in 1865 to announce that all slaves were free. The Emancipation Proclamation was in 1863, and the Civil War had ended two months before Gen. Granger’s announcement. Since Texas don’t care, official action was required.

Memorial Day / Monday Night Open Thread

Don T - May 30, 2022May 30, 2022

Today is Memorial Day in the USA, which honors their fallen soldiers in not-classified wars. I’m sure the CIA still resents that today is a mere lunes in most of Latinoamérica. Hey hey I’m just kiddin’. Wars of occupation, amirite? Boop! /takes index finger to tap your nose -Dafuq’s wrong with you?! //ducks haymaker Ok.