JV NFL – Special Shame Friday Edition

King Hippo - November 23, 2018

186

Good hangover and fat shame morning, Commentist Party members! The footy gods are kind today, at least. /also LMFAO at Colt McCoy Texas at Kansas (Noon, FS1) All the Steerfuckers have to do is beat Waiting-on-Les-Miles to make the conference title match. Can they possibly fuck this up? Houston at Memphis (Noon, ABC) In case

Another Blankety-Blank International Break JV NFL Only Open Thread

King Hippo - November 17, 2018November 15, 2018

228

DFO overlords are glad I didn't say "fuck off, cunts" in the title. But seriously...fuck off, cunts. We need a full day of all varietals of footy! Especially with this rather dire JV NFL slate. But as usual, the world don't care what we need, especially what Hippo need. Northwestern at

Continuing With Novembring – JV NFL Open Thread

King Hippo - November 10, 2018November 10, 2018

166

I have no overriding theme this week, as work beat mah cracker brains to a pulp this week. Here are some fixtures: TCU at West By God Virginia (Noon, FS1) Nobody does "letdown performance after emotional win" quite like Fuckers du Cousins. Then again, Bloodeyes actually lost to goddamned Kansas. As did

Mr. November Brings His A Game – JV NFL Open Thread

King Hippo - November 3, 2018November 3, 2018

162

Holy shit, kids. This slate is amazeballs. To the point where I can't even say anything smart-ass, just want to play badass band of our times The National's epic John Kerry song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0jBFmc1YSs Nebraska at Ohio State (Noon, Fox) This is on national Fox...why? This will feature some epic tOSU vengeance, for Redshirt's viewing

Can Everton Finish Off Mourinho? (and other Lesser/JV Combo Thoughts)

King Hippo - October 27, 2018October 26, 2018

299

Yes, it's time to do to Jose Mourinho what we did to Davey Moyes (what, like 5 years ago?) and finish the walking ded off. Everton (in 8th position on 15 points, +3 GD) only need a draw at Old Trafford to stay above Manure (10th, -1), and the Blues

JV NFL – Last Chance to Stop the Tiggers

King Hippo - October 20, 2018October 19, 2018

142

Yes, I have convinced my dumbass self this is an actual possibility. In the range of 30%. SIGH. Michigan at Michigan State (Noon, Fox) We will always have that punt oopsie-doodle game. Remember? You'll see that replay maybe 20 times during the broadcast. Sparty was good last week, so don't expect a

JV NFL Thread – Where Has All Teh Good Matches Gone?

King Hippo - October 13, 2018October 12, 2018

407

Fuck everything, another shitass International Break is upon us. And is JV NFL breaking out the good vintage bottles to ease our suffering? Fuck and No. Your platter of turds follows: Florida at Vanderbilt (Noon, ESPN) Some peoples would have you believe that the Gators have turned the corner and are now

Lesser Footy/JV NFL Combo Platter – Welcoming October

King Hippo - October 6, 2018

363

Not that anyone would notice it in North Cakalaky, where it's been hotter this past week than July and August mashed together. Jeebus Tapdancing Christ. And of course, another noon kickoff for mah Shitty Wolves to suffer through. Ay yi yi... Our beloved Premiership is being lazy arseholes and not giving

Closing Out JV NFL September 2018

King Hippo - September 29, 2018September 29, 2018

162

As the universe likes to do, the schedule is at its most interesante when my shitty wolves are playing. SIGH. Syracuse at Clemson (Noon, ABC) Laugh all you want, but Cuse is the kind of physical side that gives the Tiggers fits. Surely will at least bit the yuuuuuuuge 25.5-point spread (fingers

JV NFL – Week 4 Doldrums

King Hippo - September 22, 2018September 22, 2018

319

Every September, there is a weekly slate of games that is just refried ass. Welcome to said Saturday. Georgia at Missouri (Noon, ESPN) Both of these teams are undefeated, but only one is any good, and maybe not even one (thus the slight opportunity for a trap game). Notre Dame at Wake Forest

Rain-Soaked JV NFL Afternoon Thread

King Hippo - September 15, 2018September 15, 2018

293

The Noon window is filled with hot garbage, and deserves no preview. Let us resume drying out with midday, shall we? LSU at Auburn (3:30, CBS) I am still not sure exactly who Aubie is just yet (that U-Dub win was hardly convincing), and today will be quite demonstrative. 10 points is

JV NFL 2018 Kickoff Posting

King Hippo - September 1, 2018

247

Yes indeed, tis that time once again. Cheerleaders to leer over, prospects to scout, GAMBLOR to hail. Let's get to the #ACTION! James Madison at NC State (Noon, ESPNU) How does a match like this garner national teevee coverage? Wolven QB Ryan Finley, soon to dominate Mel Kiper wet dreams, and leader